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So, i'm in the Louvre, checking out Monet, barbeque sauce on my titties. SOMEONE triggers the motion sensor alarm, and a pack of dogs starts gunning for me. Well, I've got a pack full of Impressionist gold, and a three story fall on my left. What do I do? Two words: Grappling. Hook. |
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Oct 13, 2020 06:30
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| # ? May 2, 2024 19:53 |
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there I was, the crown jewelS had just been carefully tucked away next to the family jewels when next thing I know the alarms start blaring. I’m surrounded on both sides by security guards but I was about to blow all of their minds. without another seconds thought I dashed to the window and jumped straight through it! into the Thames I went, down and down until I reached my personal submersible and scuba pack to travel miles and miles down river before surfacing! you should have seen the look on those guards faces
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Oct 13, 2020 15:29
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showing up to the forgers meeting and getting laughed out of the room for daring to attempt a take on Monet's "water lilies" using only a 64 count box of rose-art crayons
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Oct 13, 2020 17:03
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grabbing a midnight snack from my spouse's chocolate stash, navigating her complex lazer grid while wearing the snuggest yoga pants available by lawEvil Bob posted:there I was, the crown jewelS had just been carefully tucked away next to the family jewels when next thing I know the alarms start blaring. I’m surrounded on both sides by security guards but I was about to blow all of their minds. without another seconds thought I dashed to the window and jumped straight through it! into the Thames I went, down and down until I reached my personal submersible and scuba pack to travel miles and miles down river before surfacing! you should have seen the look on those guards faces frankly by failing to deploy mines they begged you to do this. magic cactus posted:showing up to the forgers meeting and getting laughed out of the room for daring to attempt a take on Monet's "water lilies" using only a 64 count box of rose-art crayons fie on them for doubting you, magic cactus. crimes |
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Oct 13, 2020 17:43
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me on the walkie talkie to the guys in the van posted outside: uhh and you're SURE it's a picture of a pipe, right? hmmm
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Oct 13, 2020 20:13
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alarms are blaring, alfonzo is unconscious and the dogs ripped my bag to shreds - so i figure, gently caress it! i'll wear tutankhamun's death mask - my hands will be free, right? as soon as i pop that fucker on i realize THERE'S NO EYE HOLES
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Oct 13, 2020 22:06
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nut posted:me on the walkie talkie to the guys in the van posted outside: uhh and you're SURE it's a picture of a pipe, right? hmmm lmao 
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Oct 13, 2020 22:41
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Heather Papps posted:alarms are blaring, alfonzo is unconscious and the dogs ripped my bag to shreds - so i figure, gently caress it! i'll wear tutankhamun's death mask - my hands will be free, right? as soon as i pop that fucker on i realize THERE'S NO EYE HOLES Classic art thief bungle!
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Oct 13, 2020 22:42
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Slowly, expertly, sexily, I descend into the room for the heating duct by a rope and harness, avoiding the floor sensors entirely. I'm right above the glass case when suddenly my harness rides up into the ol' sisters. Hard. My vision explodes with light. I think I'm busted for a second. But no. Not yet at least. That's before I barf all over the place |
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Oct 14, 2020 05:35
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*clicks off my hidden light table as someone walks into the room* "Hey, check it out, I just came up with this cool new character" *burglar seeing it starts losing his mind, freaking out and whooping and hollering, emulating the power-pose from the character in the drawing, and gets so pumped and just straight up runs out the house through a window from hype* me, just sitting there smirking as I grab another piece of paper and start tracing the nude spawn again. |
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Oct 14, 2020 06:34
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sneaking into the national gallery of mexico city to swap out incan death whistles with that gif of bottomless wolverine letting that thang swang
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Oct 14, 2020 16:16
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nut posted:me on the walkie talkie to the guys in the van posted outside: uhh and you're SURE it's a picture of a pipe, right? hmmm lmbo |
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Oct 14, 2020 18:10
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Hey, fellow deliquents. Got the scoop on any interesting crimes coming up? |
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Oct 15, 2020 08:04
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Drink-Mix Man posted:Hey, fellow deliquents. Got the scoop on any interesting crimes coming up? I saw some sonic the hedgehog oc that says "do not steal" |
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Oct 15, 2020 09:22
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still thinkin about that dude that stole a $120k banana by eating it |
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Oct 15, 2020 15:22
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nut posted:me on the walkie talkie to the guys in the van posted outside: uhh and you're SURE it's a picture of a pipe, right? hmmm
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Oct 15, 2020 16:07
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FutonForensic posted:still thinkin about that dude that stole a $120k banana by eating it a fine piece of yellowism crimes |
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Oct 16, 2020 21:49
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(ooc context: https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2012/dec/13/mark-rothko-vandal-jailed)
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Oct 16, 2020 21:50
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I've been erecting false walls all over london to trick banksy into painting on them
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Oct 16, 2020 21:53
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heh heh... erecting
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Oct 16, 2020 21:54
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| # ? May 2, 2024 19:53 |
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doing vandalism on lil bits of spat out chewing gum, cops cant fuckin touch me. i am the avatar and lawbending is my forte
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Oct 16, 2020 23:24
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