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I have been researching Stenography for a little bit now as I feel I would like to maybe go to this field in the near future. I currently just graduated college as a network specialist and I am in the IT field. While I am looking for better work; I also am a very avid typist and have been doing transcription work as a side job making decent money on the side. I really enjoy typing and I have been told countless times that if I enjoy what I do then I should pursue that and make work out of it. I understand you have to use a steno machine and using shorthand. But maybe there are goons out there who do this kinda work and would like to share. I would be interested in how you like the job and what it took for you to get there.
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Oct 17, 2020 01:14
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| # ? May 5, 2024 22:03 |
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A few years back, I was a stenographer for a few weeks before I realized it wasn't really the job for me. The usual stenographer job is writing down all the boring drivel during court cases and reading back the stupid poo poo people said. If you can stomach being bored all the time, that might work for you. You can also be a transcriber for live tv events. Those ones are cool since you are watching and can sometimes sneak in your own reactions into the text and no one will really notice. But it's possible those jobs will be replaced with those sign language guys that flash gang signs since most people that need subtitles can also read body language really well. My job was a little different. An eccentric millionaire hired me to follow him around everywhere and record everything he said. He kept repeating how his ideas were "platinum" and that the world needs to know. He wanted everything recorded and combined into a memoir. I told him his ideas were pretty stupid on a lot of occasions. After I said anything, I'd also record what I said in the steno machine, so it was him saying dumbass things that he thought were profound, immediately followed by dissent. One of the cool things about the gig was having a portable steno machine. Steno machines are rad as hell. They're like keyboards but instead of typing every letter, it's more about syllables. You type the start and ends of words all at the same time along with vowels and it autofills everything based on dictionary macros you've defined. You can type fast as Peter Rabbit using the fast typing machine. It's way faster than regular typing. I max out at like 100 words per minute on a keyboard, but with a steno, I could burn through eminem lyrics at 250 wpm. The annoying part about being a stenographer is following the millionaire around everywhere. The millionaire would make me bust my buns day in and day out. He'd bust my buns at rich people parties where everyone is in suits and no one has any fun. I'd try to chat up cuties and record what I'm saying but then the millionaire would start having his own conversation with someone across from me, and it's not possible to type two conversations at once so I'd have to politely end my useful convo by asking where the bathroom is and then turning around to listen to the dumbass conversation with the millionaire. It wasn't long until the bad bun bust occurred. The bad bun bust is when the millionaire busts your buns by doing something insanely stupid, but this time it's really bad. The absolute worst part of following the millionaire around was I'd have to follow him absolutely everywhere, and in this instance it was the worst of the worst. The millionaire attended some celebrity gala in the amazon rainforest. You'd think it was fun, but it was boring as a rock and all the food was made on location to show how great they are by saving the world and eating the local food. Only problem was the local food was mexican food infected with polluted third world toilet water. I was in the stall with him when he let out the power sludge. The power sludge is a name for mexican food poop that torrents out of the unhinged butthole with great vigor and viciously scatters in every direction. The words that you’ll have to transcribe from the person emitting the power sludge’s shouts are usually: "Ah! No! Please make it stop! Help!" while their soul drains. I usually don’t do punctuation except periods when stenotyping, but this instance necessitated exclamation marks. I had to type with one hand because I used the other to save my nose from the odor of the intestinal rejection. During the power sludge, the millionaire committed the worst bun bust of all. The worst bun bust is when you’re exuding the power sludge, but you spin around to swap to vomiting. The power sludge continued releasing the noxious brown plague during the reversal, causing a 360 degree matting jet assault of the area, torrenting all four walls and myself, leaving an unsplattered silhouette behind me. It was reminiscent of the chalk outlines of a victim’s body at a crime scene but this one had a far fouler scent. I wiped the muddy stool from my eyes to see that the whole stall and ceiling was coated in miserable brown stink slime from the devil’s door. The porcelain doesn’t usually crack during a power sludge, but this time it did. Stenotyping can sometimes be a stressful job due to speed and accuracy demands in high pressure environments, along with possible equipment malfunction. It doesn’t happen often, but sometimes the keys on the stenomachine can get jammed by the power sludge. That can be stressful since you cannot type, yet people keep talking. You have to tell them to stop. I told the millionaire to shut up but he was having none of it. He continued his tirade as his bottom gushed brown stank smell chunks as far as the eye can see. I needed new pants, shoes, and socks after the power sludge. The biohazard team said they couldn’t salvage my steno machine and it had to be destroyed. The millionaire was pissed that his platinum ideas were lost because of the power sludge and yelled at me. I told him to fung off and that it was his fault for eating the mexican toilet food.   
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Mar 1, 2023 16:38
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I read all of that and im impressed. Jesus loving christ lol
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Mar 1, 2023 17:19
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