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-hire a ringer who's actually a hitman who will shank a player who misses the big block -reverse psychology: get out there and lose u losers -replace mascot with a snail with human titties, rename team the snails with human titties -reward for winning the big gaem: all expenses paid AYCE jack in the box cooked ceaselessly by servitors from WH40K -??? -ill replace u all with dogs theres no rule (check this) |
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Mar 15, 2021 03:27
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| # ? May 5, 2024 02:33 |
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- what if i made their hands really sticky before the game? ask them to help move some fresh pine logs?
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Mar 15, 2021 03:36
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-Replace gatorade with snail titty milk |
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Mar 15, 2021 04:29
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threaten to sell team to alaska if they lose threaten to sell individual players to alaska if they lose
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Mar 15, 2021 04:35
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don’t ever tell them what sport they’re about to play
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Mar 15, 2021 12:43
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trust falls, but in the middle of the game, to throw the other team off balance, they will be sad that they don't trust each other that much
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Mar 15, 2021 15:31
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if you guys win you can dump gatorade all over my coaching body and i’ll act really mad about it but in reality i’ll be so proud of you all |
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Mar 15, 2021 16:21
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if you lose every single one of you is having their head held under gatorade for three minutes and it’s the yellow kind so i WILL make urine jokes |
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Mar 15, 2021 16:22
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Look one dog got us to the finals, we need to go full dogs. All dog team. Air Buds. |
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Mar 15, 2021 16:53
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-hire replacement team that looks kind of similar in an uncanny valley way and make them play against themselves, in a dark mockery of the natural order. |
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Mar 15, 2021 17:01
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-another ringer but he's a hacker and hacks the scoreboard to make it look like we're winning -tape eyeballs open to make them watch air bud in hopes of osmosing his skills -team outing to chuck e cheese but they can only play the the basketball game* *budget a lot of tokens for these idiots ---------------- |
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Mar 15, 2021 17:05
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*note to self: research "human megazord"* |
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Mar 15, 2021 17:10
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If we win you're getting a pizza party! If we lose you have to buy Capri Suns. Enough for both teams! No, Jerry, I don't think I'm being a bit hard on them even though they're "just kids"! I'm in charge here! That's why it says "coach" in front of my name, and "assistant coach" in front of yours! |
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Mar 15, 2021 17:32
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gonna watch Mighty Ducks trilogy and just copy everything they do... write it all down! |
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Mar 15, 2021 17:48
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RickRogers posted:*note to self: research "human megazord"*
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Mar 15, 2021 18:30
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-telling them sugar water was power juice did not unlock the teams hidden potential. next game, i will start adding real stimulants.
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Mar 15, 2021 18:31
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the best stimulant is love and care ❤️ |
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Mar 15, 2021 18:40
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Bribing my team to give 110%. Bribing the other team to only give like 50% |
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Mar 15, 2021 18:43
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Comfy Fleece Sweater posted:the best stimulant is love and care ❤️ God drat it Jerry |
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Mar 15, 2021 19:09
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-hide an onion in your sleeve. when the team does well use it to fake crying
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Mar 15, 2021 22:16
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-Dear little sluggers, by the time you read this I will be far away with a newer, fitter and much more competitive team. I weighed out my options and.....well, let's just leave it at "go sluggers!". Your (ex)coach. |
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Mar 16, 2021 13:36
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take the moon posted:-reverse psychology: get out there and lose u losers true story from my young childhood, this does not work and just messes kids up
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Mar 17, 2021 03:05
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kids, try this : if you don’t know what to do, ask yourself - what would Michael Jordan do? what do you mean you don’t know who that is? *falls to ground, crying* 
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Mar 17, 2021 07:54
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*Manager of a little league team trading away the best player on the team at the trade deadline, his own son, to pick up a few decent prospects for next year*
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Mar 17, 2021 10:08
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angry parents during halftime: what are you doing? you’re not even trying to win the game? me, the coach: sorry folks, I’m just here to collect the steam trading cards
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Mar 17, 2021 13:46
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| # ? May 5, 2024 02:33 |
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I GOT IT Guys Just MIRROR their every move! Everyone, let's practice mirroring each other! |
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Mar 19, 2021 00:03
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