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Do you enjoy frozen shaved meat? Dump trucks full of noodles? Brown sauces that come in opaque and unlabeled gallon jugs? Parenthetical cultural appropriation? If so, it has been scientifically proven* that you will enjoy the warm embrace of the pending death that results in regular consumption of the pageant of flavor that is Great Khan’s Mongolian Festival.  Often imitated by lesser products, Great Khan’s was an innovator in the “smash what was heretofore considered unfathomable amounts of meat into a small bowl that is woefully incapable of holding this volume…plus noodles” market. I first discovered this caloric adventure in the food court of malls, lo those many years ago, in and around Southern California.  Given their proximity to Los Angeles metropolitan area, the inquisitive reader might feel compelled to ask whether I felt pressure to live a healthy lifestyle, inhibited, or shamed into squishing less meat (and two carrots precariously balanced on top to keep up appearances) into the bowl for cooking? Reader, I did not. Upon providing remuneration for a bowl and access to the trough of sustenance, the adventurous glutton is given a free hand to attempt to replicate the Tower of Babel right there in the drat mall. Meat selections generally consist of what ostensibly was once beef, chicken, pork, and possibly lamb. Now, after pickup and extrusion of leftover bits laying around various low margin meat processing facilities, the “meat” is pressure formed, frozen, and sliced for easy cramming into your bowl. Real OGs know to grab an extra napkin at the register to press down the frozen meat layers to enable the piling on of yet more meat.  There’s often a wide variety of vegetables that are available to add to your bowl but, in a moment of clarity, you realize that you’re not here for the vegetables and move down the line to the noodles. Unlike this poor bastard:  Sometimes there are different kinds of noodles available, but as with the Highlander, there can only be one.  Hand your completed pile of unmitigated culinary lunacy to a cook and watch them grab two sticks and a plastic gallon jug that is eerily reminiscent of what bleach comes in full of a dark liquid to dump all over your creation as it goes on the grill. Furious stirring commences in a ceaseless and ultimately losing battle of not burning all your poo poo and making it stick to the grill surface which, incidentally, is remarkably similar to the heat production of a tokamak reactor.  They've changed their name, logo, and endured a significant reduction in the footprint of their franchise system, but it is of no concern to us. All of this and more can be endured for the carnal pleasure of consuming unlabeled chemicals in quantities that do not bear significant contemplation. We do this knowingly, thankfully, and without reservation because if there is death to be had, it should be had because of noodles.  *may not be scientifically proven. Beef Of Ages fucked around with this message at 14:15 on Apr 3, 2021 |
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Apr 2, 2021 22:17
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I have seen people do absolutely insane things to stack as much shaved meat into that bowls as possible. We're talkin' 8 inch tall meat mountains.
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Apr 2, 2021 22:32
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Fartington Butts posted:I have seen people do absolutely insane things to stack as much shaved meat into that bowls as possible. We're talkin' 8 inch tall meat mountains. I salute this master of meat physics.
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Apr 2, 2021 23:06
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lol good post op
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Apr 3, 2021 11:15
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Twenty Four posted:lol good post op 
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Apr 3, 2021 14:13
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I want to like these places but I’m somehow incapable of seasoning my plate of meat and noodles properly 9 out of 10 times I’d just rather get greasy Chinese takeout
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Apr 3, 2021 22:05
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Pakistani Brad Pitt posted:I want to like these places but I’m somehow incapable of seasoning my plate of meat and noodles properly Seasoning yourself is a sure way to ruin. In the context of Great Khan's, the aforementioned house sauce from the random opaque jug is sufficient and helps ensure a low grease factor.
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Apr 3, 2021 22:11
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Pakistani Brad Pitt posted:I want to like these places but I’m somehow incapable of seasoning my plate of meat and noodles properly yeah, I love a mongolian grill (it's Hu-Hot around here) in theory but it seems like I always gently caress it up, somehow. how? but it is fun once in a while.
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Apr 4, 2021 05:31
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The Breakfast Sampler posted:yeah, I love a mongolian grill (it's Hu-Hot around here) in theory but it seems like I always gently caress it up, somehow. how? but it is fun once in a while. So many of the sauces are basically oil with interesting names that don't actually impart the flavor you're hoping for; what the gently caress does Diablo mean other than hot? It's that other bit that ruins everything.
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Apr 4, 2021 20:37
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The place closest to me put a sign up banning stacks too high which is a bummer. Also in the COVID era they switched to premade bowls and they definitely did not have anything that offered what I was looking for from them (giant bowl of meat and noodles in a savory and spicy sauce).
FrankeeFrankFrank on 07:55 May 03, 2015 posted:sometimes i rub Fabreeze on my hands and now my hands are very dry. FrankeeFrankFrank on 04:55 Apr 10, 2017 posted:I still believe in Second Winter. Put this in your sig if you also believe in that and that it is real and not fake like the others say.
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Apr 8, 2021 05:06
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Oel ngati kameie Los Ingobernables de Onsite BYOB 
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Twenty Four posted:lol good post op
FrankeeFrankFrank on 07:55 May 03, 2015 posted:sometimes i rub Fabreeze on my hands and now my hands are very dry. FrankeeFrankFrank on 04:55 Apr 10, 2017 posted:I still believe in Second Winter. Put this in your sig if you also believe in that and that it is real and not fake like the others say.
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Apr 8, 2021 05:06
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Rick posted:The place closest to me put a sign up banning stacks too high which is a bummer. Also in the COVID era they switched to premade bowls and they definitely did not have anything that offered what I was looking for from them (giant bowl of meat and noodles in a savory and spicy sauce). That would completely defeat the purpose. Also we know that COVID is not transmitted by surface contact very much so this makes even less sense and is sad.
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Apr 8, 2021 22:11
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In the before times at my local chinese buffet there was a mongolian grill area. I would do noodles, shrimp, chicken, onion, pineapple 2x ladle of garlic brown sauce 5x spoonful of chili sambal Very Spicy tangy sweet goodness. The steam coming off the plate would make other people in line cough sometimes
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Apr 8, 2021 23:06
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WITCHCRAFT posted:In the before times at my local chinese buffet there was a mongolian grill area. I would do noodles, shrimp, chicken, onion, pineapple Ah yes, the high rear end burn quotient. I know it well.
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Apr 9, 2021 01:55
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Jalapeno, Pineapple, Chicken noodles if one is feeling simple are a delight.
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Apr 11, 2021 15:05
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Tried bd's Mongolian Grill recently; sadness ensued.
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Jul 22, 2021 14:44
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I have never heard of this place, nor have I seen one, so it must not exist in my region 
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Jul 22, 2021 19:31
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Mongolian BBQ loving rules. Gets better the more you go as you'll get your preferred recipe down to a science. If you do it right you'll get about 3 full meals out of regular size too
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Jul 23, 2021 02:35
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loling @ the idea that there's any difference in flavor at all in ANY 'mongolian bbq' dish or that you've concocted a 'recipe' I am 100% convinced a blind child with a shovel and bucket, told to run through the 'ingredients' trough would churn out exactly the same dish that any of us would carefully perusing and hand selecting our cherished and time honored favorites
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Jul 25, 2021 15:19
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Big Beef City posted:loling @ the idea that there's any difference in flavor at all in ANY 'mongolian bbq' dish or that you've concocted a 'recipe' You act like it's a bad thing
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Jul 25, 2021 16:09
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Big Beef City posted:loling @ the idea that there's any difference in flavor at all in ANY 'mongolian bbq' dish or that you've concocted a 'recipe' loling @ your dead tastebuds and lack of culinary creativity making you think everyone sucks at mongolian bbq as bad as you do
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Jul 25, 2021 17:07
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tetsuo posted:loling @ your dead tastebuds and lack of culinary creativity making you think everyone sucks at mongolian bbq as bad as you do It's teriyaki sauce and burnt salad bar fixings. "culinary creativity" doesn't really come into play, but being wowed by someone cooking it in front of you could be understandable if it wasn't so predictable. sux 2 b u. ----------------
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Jul 25, 2021 19:16
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Walking into a restaurant and laughing crazily at all these loving IDIOTS
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Jul 25, 2021 20:16
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*Watches a man burn the tentacles of a hot dog octopus I personally selected and place it delicately next to almost two different colors of zucchini* "This is culinary creativity.", I declare to my mother whom I intend to take to a 'grill your own steak house' for an equally expressive display of Art tomorrow evening. ----------------
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Jul 26, 2021 02:55
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the best Mongolian bbq place I ever went to was not a chain. it was a piece of poo poo in a strip mall with a menu board you order little league hot dogs off of. they had a Chinese buffet inside that no one touched unless you wanted to grab some bad egg rolls. you want meat options? Freeze dried rolls of beef lamb or chicken, that’s all. maybe they had veggies, I don’t know, I was in loving high school and was not wasting my time with those, but if they did it was maybe some carrots or peppers and bell sprouts and that’s it. you’re here for meat and goddamn noodles. you want sauce choice? No. None. just good brown flat wok sauce. now scoop five heaping ladles of garlic water from the literal bucket at the end, and then slam ice cold pineapple from the other bucket after the cook station as soon as they hand you your piping hot bowl. the contrast of the lava hot food to the chilled pineapple was the goddamn Rosetta Stone to unlocking FLAVOR. toss in some ladies of the chili garlic sriracha paste at the very end if you’re feeling fancy. was it all you can eat? of course it goddamn was. that bowl of pungent garlic and noodles and pineapples and bad meat haunts me to this day, it’s impossible for anything to recapture it. they’ve been closed for over a decade and I miss it every time I settle for some Genghis Grill bullshit. rip han’s mongolian bbq, the only real one. Nikumatic fucked around with this message at 03:56 on Jul 26, 2021 |
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Jul 26, 2021 03:53
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Nikumatic posted:ladies of the chili garlic sriracha paste what kind of loving cult is this, and can I be anointed in the paste?
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Jul 26, 2021 04:05
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Nikumatic posted:the best Mongolian bbq place I ever went to was not a chain. it was a piece of poo poo in a strip mall with a menu board you order little league hot dogs off of. they had a Chinese buffet inside that no one touched unless you wanted to grab some bad egg rolls. you want meat options? Freeze dried rolls of beef lamb or chicken, that’s all. maybe they had veggies, I don’t know, I was in loving high school and was not wasting my time with those, but if they did it was maybe some carrots or peppers and bell sprouts and that’s it. you’re here for meat and goddamn noodles. you want sauce choice? No. None. just good brown flat wok sauce. now scoop five heaping ladles of garlic water from the literal bucket at the end, and then slam ice cold pineapple from the other bucket after the cook station as soon as they hand you your piping hot bowl. the contrast of the lava hot food to the chilled pineapple was the goddamn Rosetta Stone to unlocking FLAVOR. toss in some ladies of the chili garlic sriracha paste at the very end if you’re feeling fancy. was it all you can eat? of course it goddamn was. Did you have some kind of mental break
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Jul 26, 2021 12:49
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Big Beef City posted:*Watches a man burn the tentacles of a hot dog octopus I personally selected and place it delicately next to almost two different colors of zucchini*
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Jul 26, 2021 14:52
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Chief McHeath posted:what kind of loving cult is this, and can I be anointed in the paste? need this in my life
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Jul 28, 2021 22:36
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