what does your sleep style say about YOU?

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Heather Papps: hello friend

well? what does it say?

are you a "reverse starfish," sleeping on your back but with arms and legs spread like the namesake starfish? if this is you i don't have to tell YOU that you're sassy, classy and bad assy and that your dvd and blu ray collection is top notch.

what about the "terrified sailor," when you sleep on your side clutching a pillow like it's a shattered piece of your ships hull and your only path forward that doesn't include drowning is gripping tight. everyone remembers the classic episode of friends where chandler was discovered to be a "terrified sailor" and the hilarity that resulted. you, just like "chanandler bong" are a class clown, a cut up, and an absolute slave to the drama.

maybe you, like me, are more of a "ditch drowner," catching z's face down, arms and legs stiff as a board. people who sleep like this generally are terrified of an attack on their throat, belly, or groin, and the few desperate moments of sleep they find are secure in the knowledge that no one is gonna get them!

and if you think we're gonna finish before talking about the hot new sleep technique sweeping the dreamlands well gently caress you.

gently caress you what the gently caress, who do you think i am?

come on. smarten up. i would never fail to mention the "sleep streamer style," where you make sure to stay propped up on your side, with your sweat pants or crop top cleverly positioned to score those big ol moby dick level whale donations, while also wearing an l.e.d. sleep mask that triggers lucid dreams in which you live a simple life as a farmer in bronze age italy. this sleep style is frankly too new to be fully understood, but my fellow journalists are hard at work on this mystery, as soon as they finish their articles on ufo disclosure and the "buttplug fiasco"

don't forget to like comment and subscribe, and if you're feeling like baring your (sleeping) soul be sure to let us know your sleep style, and how it informs your persona.

*kisses*

# ? May 30, 2021 03:06

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# ? May 11, 2024 10:09

Viginti Septem: Oculus Noctuae

# ? May 30, 2021 03:26

Escape From Noise

What about the Pippi Longstocking? That's where you sleep with your feet at the head of the bed, on the pillows.

# ? May 30, 2021 03:36

Viginti Septem: Oculus Noctuae

Escape From Noise posted:

What about the Pippi Longstocking? That's where you sleep with your feet at the head of the bed, on the pillows.

That's much needed every once in a while, at least to reboot the brain.

# ? May 30, 2021 03:41

Finger Prince

The chalk outline. The only sign of life, my gentle snores. And the occasional outburst of gibberish. And drool. Although I suppose corpses probably drool for a bit.

# ? May 30, 2021 03:42

FutonForensic

<cat> style, where you bend your legs like < > around the cat already sleeping on the bed, rather than move it so you can sleep like a normal person

# ? May 30, 2021 04:04

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

the "Olde Fashioned"

spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

# ? May 30, 2021 04:11

biosterous

unspooning, when you and your bedbud sleep back to back, to protect yourselves from outside attacks

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? May 30, 2021 04:43

alnilam

The Mummy (1999) - twirling as you sleep until completely wrapped in a sheet burrito, usually indicative of a desire to be tied down, figuratively or perhaps literally i don't judge. hazardous to bed partners unless they are a warm sheet-shedding sleeper.

_{ty manifisto}

# ? May 30, 2021 05:40

alnilam

The Mummy Returns - camping/ sleeping bag variation on The Mummy. Not indicative of much other than that you arw camping in cold weather. However many Mummy sleepers have discovered their preference this way.

_{ty manifisto}

# ? May 30, 2021 05:41

Khad: third time's the HRAAAAAAAAAAAAALF

"Heart attack waiting" - Sleeping 3-4 hours a night

# ? May 30, 2021 06:43

Escape From Noise

The Dutch Baker-Spend your sleeping hours just absolutely farting up the sheets/blankets/duvet, etc.

# ? May 30, 2021 06:48

Heather Papps: hello friend

biosterous posted:

unspooning, when you and your bedbud sleep back to back, to protect yourselves from outside attacks

i have used the variant of the "unspoon" a few times. sure, the first time you sleep "knife" style you may cut yourself accidentally with one of the blades under your pillow, but you'll sleep secure in the knowledge that you and your sleeping partner are ready to defend the holiest of places, the bed, to the death.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? May 30, 2021 15:40

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

The Hobbit: sleeping on a chair in another room, with a mound of pillows on your bed as a decoy.

# ? May 30, 2021 15:40

Heather Papps: hello friend

if you're experiencing lower back pain be sure to try the "fitz hugh ludlow." this one requires some prep: first, aquire a large volume of hashish. second, eat the hashish, preferably close to a bed. your back pain will be but a faint memory as you traverse the silver bridge to the gates of sleep.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? May 30, 2021 15:53

cruft

Heather Papps posted:

and if you think we're gonna finish before talking about the hot new sleep technique sweeping the dreamlands well gently caress you.

# ? May 30, 2021 16:17

Escape From Noise

Sleep Styles Panama Beach! Wooooooooooooooo!

# ? May 30, 2021 16:20

nut

I�m all about streamer style and every dono opens an iv drip to the sucrose allowing me to circumvent twitch�s arcane abstraction of value and directly subsist on bits I have been sleeping for three years and spend most of my time trying to figure out if I made byob up entirely. could I have imagined so many wonderful posters? no, you all must be real...unless...

# ? May 30, 2021 19:08

Escape From Noise

The ouroboros: Waking up with your feet in your mouth as you slowly try to swallow your own legs is a sign that you fear renewal. The constant, delicate dance of life and death, decay and rebirth fills you with anxiety that your subconscious is trying to acclimate you to.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 03:54

Zil: Satanically Summoned Citrus

biosterous posted:

unspooning, when you and your bedbud sleep back to back, to protect yourselves from outside attacks

I call this B2B, butt to butt

# ? Jun 2, 2021 05:12

Khanstant

i do not sleep, i am tempering my body

# ? Jun 2, 2021 05:14

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Constantly waking up at the crossroads

# ? Jun 4, 2021 19:38

snergle: A kind little mouse!

Zil posted:

I call this B2B, butt to butt

me to.

i sleep like a vampire in his coffin if someone came in and fliped the coffin upside down. arms across my shoulders hands under my neck on my stomach. i think it says im like a reverse vampire or something

# ? Jun 6, 2021 21:04

cruft

When our daughter was young and slept in bed with us, it seemed like her goal was to turn us into a capital letter H. We called this the "I don't want any siblings" sleep style.

# ? Jun 6, 2021 23:14

PostsYouCanDanceTo

In twenty-minute naps every hour -- I'm microdosing.

# ? Jun 7, 2021 04:29

Stoner Sloth

Khanstant posted:

i do not sleep, i am tempering my body

also it's a cheap way to hallucinate!

# ? Jun 7, 2021 06:35

selan dyin

i sleep belly down with my face half jammed into a firm pillow; my arms under the pillow causing my neck to bend to a probably dangerous degree
i regularly wake up with my eyelid inside out, and my arms fully asleep

dont really know how to deal with this

# ? Jun 7, 2021 08:59

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

BALLS DILDO posted:

i sleep belly down with my face half jammed into a firm pillow; my arms under the pillow causing my neck to bend to a probably dangerous degree
i regularly wake up with my eyelid inside out, and my arms fully asleep

dont really know how to deal with this

just roll over on ur side w/ 1 arm under ur MyPillow™