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Bob had friends from Kentucky that invited us to a Kentucky Derby party in San Francisco. They rented out the whole bar every year, and there probably 100 people there. Everyone was dressed to the nines. Just like you see on TV with the big hats, fancy dresses and suits. There were a few TVs on but I honestly think hardly anyone watched the actual race. Weed, coke, booze flowing everywhere. No discretion, just out in the open. It was a pretty fun party. It winds down around 1AM and we cab back to our hotel room on the10th floor of some SF high rise. I'm ready to crash for the night but Bob magically produces a sack of weed, a sack of coke, and a bottle of Jack Daniels, out of his coat. He had none of that when we started out earlier. Weed and coke were from a dealer at the party. Bob just took the bottle of Jack from the bar. Stole it. Like a couple of idiots we start smoking joints, chopping up lines, and doing shots. Just hanging out shooting the poo poo. It gets around to 3AM and Bob announces he is going to get some food. "Uh, Bob I'm pretty sure everything is closed, even room service." "Oh there is a McDonalds right down there!" and he is pointing out the window. "They'll have food. You want to come?" "Uh, no. Its closed." I'm pretty sure he was planning to break in and steal un-cooked food or something. He heads out and I watch from the window. A minute later he is heading across the parking lot, and goes straight for the dumpster behind the McDonalds. He is rooting around in it for a minute and comes up with a couple sacks. This was before fast food joints would pour bleach or chlorine into their dumpsters to keep out the homeless, but Bob scored the day's leftovers that had been thrown away hours before. He's scarfing down some cold burger as he walks back across the parking lot. He gets back to the room and is offering to share anything. That was just pulled from a dumpster. There were like 6 burgers, some fish-fillet, an entire bag of fries, a couple of pounds of them. He is nuking this stuff in the room's microwave and just chowing down. I just smoked weed and snorted coke instead. We pass out, eventually wake up and head home the next morning. We were invited back to the party the next year, and it actually got a bit more weird.
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Oct 15, 2021 18:23
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 01:58 |
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The next year's Kentucky Derby party was fun too. Not as many drugs, but plenty of drinking. Bob's friend invited us to stay at his and his wife's apartment, instead of a hotel. Guest bedroom and a fold out couch in the living room. Cool and thanks! We meet up there and there are two more to join us, the friend's younger sister and her friend as well. They were both my age in their 20's. Bob and older brother were in their 40's. The sister was totally into Bob for whatever reason. They had met before but she was totally hitting on him, and Bob didn't mind at all. At the party we were sitting at a small table on stools and she was sneaking her hand to rub his thighs and all that while we are hanging out at the Derby party. I hit it off with her friend and everyone is coupling up. Good times. It gets late and all six of us go home to the apartment. It's not a big apartment, maybe 800 sqft. Friend and wife go to bed. Friend knew Bob and his kid sister were hitting on each other and was not stoked on the concept. I'm not going to condemn two consenting adults, but it was a little weird. We all out-drank him though and his wife and they eventually retire to their bedroom. Bob and sister take the guest bedroom, me and the friend take the fold-out couch. The friend and I just smooched for a bit and we eventually fell asleep. From the other room though there was a lot of noise for a while. If you won't startle any family or neighbors, go outside and yell at the top of your lungs... scream it as loud as you can. "Oh my god! Oh my god!" "Do it!, do it! Give it to me!" "Oh gently caress yes, gently caress me!" Stuff straight out of a porn clip, but at a huge volume. Both of them were going off. The girl I was with, we just started giggling, it was so over the top. The next morning was a bit awkward to say the least. The girl I hooked up with was showering and I was putting away the hide-a-bed thing. Friend and wife are getting some coffee and breakfast going. Bob comes into the living room, and this is just a door and 10' from the kitchen where friend and wife are, and he loudly proclaims how great the sex was. "She let me cum in her!" Me, "Did you use a condom or anything?" Bob, "Nope! She's on birth control pills! She even showed me her container thing for them!" Again, I am fine with consenting adults and all that, but he was at a high volume of talking; and his friend is just 10' away past the door, and Bob had just slept with his kid sister. Breakfast was full of awkward silences. Friend was fuming and obviously angry but staying quiet about his friend having just banged his sister, extremely loudly. The wife was super chill saying nice things like, "Well that was a fun night for everyone" and doing her best to keep the peace. I got to smooch my hook-up girl in a bit of privacy before we left; which was great. Bob and I headed out though, back to the mountain.
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Oct 15, 2021 21:36
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Big brother sounds like an rear end in a top hat. Good on little sister for getting what she wanted and shoving it in his face.
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Oct 15, 2021 22:43
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Waltzing Along posted:Big brother sounds like an rear end in a top hat. Good on little sister for getting what she wanted and shoving it in his face. The guy was actually pretty decent and sister just wanted to get her gently caress on. It was just really obvious and very, very loud; especially for a small apartment.
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Oct 16, 2021 22:56
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Things finally come to a head at casa de Bob. The four of us routinely ate dinner together because it was cool, and easier to cook and share together than do four separate meals. One night we are cooking a salmon fillet, making a salad, heating up a baguette. Bob is staggeringly poo poo-faced drunk by the time everything is ready. Literally staggering, slurring words, the whole deal. He starts ranting about something, not at us, but about some stupid song or band but he is going off yelling and screaming. When the salmon comes out of the oven he takes it and throws it against the wall in a fit. He grabs a full bottle of whiskey and goes back to his room. The rest of us eat the salad and bread and leave the salmon where it is. Bob can clean that up. rear end in a top hat. I go to my room and played video games. Funny that I remember exactly that it was Ultima Online. Chris goes out to his camper and teacher goes to his room to get some school work done. It's getting late and dark and suddenly my teacher buddy is at my door in a panic. "Bob is shooting his gun!" "He went down to the firing range at night?" "No, he is shooting it in his room." I poo poo you not. We go upstairs and Chris is there as well, and we are all standing at the far end of the living space (hoping not to get shot). We start calling out. "Bob, is everything okay?" "Yeah I'm good." "Are you shooting in there?" "Yeah but its all good, I'm shooting through the ceiling, not the walls or floor. You guys are all good." A shot goes off. Needless to say this is not entirely reassuring. It took about 5 seconds for us to agree to get the hell out of there. Chris just went to his camper; it was far enough from the house to be unlikely to get hit. I grabbed a pillow and sleeping bag and drove a mile down the road and just pulled over and crashed out in the driver's seat. Teacher buddy heads down the mountain to his girlfriend's place. I was the first back the next morning. I go in slowly calling out "Bob? Bob? Is everything chill?" No answer and I'm thinking I'm about to find a dead person. I slowly go to his bedroom and find him completely passed out on the floor in his underwear and socks. There is a pistol in one hand. Finger still on the trigger. The other hand has the empty whiskey bottle. He is breathing but totally out. I grab the gun and go to his closet where he keeps his other two. I stash them all in my truck. Oh, there are six bullet holes through the ceiling as well. Teacher buddy and Chris show up shortly and we are wondering what the gently caress to do. Bob comes around, still drunk as gently caress 8 hours later, and starts apologizing that he scared us. He immediately grabs a beer. We all have breakfast and showers and agree we are having a house meeting/come to Jesus meeting that morning. Bob continues to apologize profusely and offers to put trigger locks on the firearms and give us the keys. He doesn't even know I have them all yet, and I honestly considered just throwing them into the duck pond. The trigger lock thing sounds okay on paper, but we know Bob will just get raging drunk again and demand the keys or steal them, or just go buy another gun. We express these doubts, but finally agree to the plan. It worked for an entire week. He is, of course, completely shitfaced and yelling at us for the keys to his guns. We all nope-out and then head out again. Chris even left the mountain too. I actually drove an hour to my parent's place and asked to crash for the night. When I told them why they were understandably shocked. "It's not all good on the mountain." I call the house the next morning and tell Bob that I am out. I want to get my stuff when he is sober and I'm moving out. I call teacher buddy and he agrees. He knows someone from school with a place for rent so we took that the same day. Chris left too. He left his camper behind and I have no idea what became of him. Bob was by himself. Two funny follow up things. We all chucked our sets of keys to the trigger locks off the side of the mountain; gonna have to see a locksmith Bob. rear end in a top hat. The other was that it rained heavily that night and the ceiling had not been fixed yet. Bob was up on the roof trying to caulk up the holes in a rainstorm I learned later. For you see, this was not my last tale of Bob.
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Oct 17, 2021 00:14
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One of the funniest stories of Bob came from an old high school buddy. He's at a wedding reception for a cousin just chilling on the side in a chair. This is 6 months after we had left. A guy sits down next to him and they start to chat. "What do you do for work?" "Where do you live?" etc. Just social stuff. The guy replies to my buddy that he has a cabin at the top of Mount Umunhum. Buddy, "Really? I have two friends that use to live up there. Rented rooms but the owner was a crazy drunk and shot up the place one night." "That was me." My friend was sitting right next to Bob at some random wedding. They both laughed, got beers and proceeded to hang out.
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Oct 17, 2021 00:45
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Were you still working with bob by the time you moved out of there?
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Oct 17, 2021 01:15
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Sorry I thought Bob was cool before, now he just sounds kinda like my dad. I got real hosed up once when my Dad got too drunk and decided he needed to test his 6 shooter while my uncle was teaching me to ride a horse. Neither the horse or I appreciated it. The cat story is hosed too sorry that happened.
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Oct 17, 2021 01:25
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DeadFatDuckFat posted:Were you still working with bob by the time you moved out of there? Yeah, we still worked together and everything was copacetic. He was bummed that we moved out but he understood. We'd still hang out for lunch and drinking pitchers. We ended up on different product lines and then he eventually went to contract for another company. They were paying him something like $100/hour. I know this because he told me when I ran into him a few years later.
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Oct 17, 2021 01:37
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Sounds like a menace. An entertaining menace but it’s lucky you survived that stuff lol
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Oct 17, 2021 02:20
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Treecko posted:Sorry I thought Bob was cool before, now he just sounds kinda like my dad. I got real hosed up once when my Dad got too drunk and decided he needed to test his 6 shooter while my uncle was teaching me to ride a horse. Neither the horse or I appreciated it. Oh that sounds horrible. Bob was actually cool 95% of the time when he was sober or mildly drunk. Seriously one of the best techs I've ever worked with. It was just that 5% of the time when he was a drunken loon that sucked. You want to balance that and stay friends, but when it comes to shooting guns while raging drunk it is time to sever. The wiccan kids actually owe all four of us their lives. This was after the cat had been tortured. It was the summer solstice and these two idiots are doing some sort of wiccan/pagan celebration that involves a huge loving bonfire. We see it that evening and there are 30' flames coming off a huge pile of slash they had built in their driveway. We are all WTF and grab binoculars to get a better view. They are dancing and prancing around the fire in some ceremony. Don't ask me, it was just stupid poo poo. This is in the Santa Cruz mountains, years of drought, tons of fuel for a forest fire. Guess what happened. It got into the trees. We all move and grab buckets and shovels and chain saw gear. Bob was in the passenger seat and teacher and Chris were just sitting in the bed with the gear as we sped down there. We get down there and Bob immediately orders a bucket brigade; and these two dipshits are, "Hey you can't be down here!" The fact that they were going to burn an entire mountain down was quickly impressed upon them. They cooperate and buckets and garden hoses get going. I geared up and dropped two burning trees quickly. It was about to go crown fire. Not to brag too much but I dropped them perfectly into the driveway on dirt and gravel where everyone else put them out. Trust me when I say that cutting down a burning tree is pretty intense. The bonfire is out, the trees are out, no sparks or cinders to be seen. Chris, with his wide crazy eyes walks up to the girl and says, "You two owe all of us your lives." There was a very meek, "okay" reply. We grabbed our gear and headed home. And for the record, we were all drunk and stoned during the thing, as usual.
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Oct 17, 2021 02:44
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Internetjack posted:Oh that sounds horrible. 
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Oct 17, 2021 14:10
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I know it's a real place, but "Mount Umunhum" just sounds so much like a name that would've been made up for an old GBS stdh.txt thread.
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Oct 23, 2021 03:32
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 01:58 |
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One of the cool things about Umunhum was the transmission tower. Fog would build up in the Monterey/Santa Cruz area and then blow up the mountain in the evening. I'd be coming back from work or town and visibility would be at 50' at best; just thick. The signal beacon on the transmission tower was bright as hell though, and it blinked. It would light up the whole mountain. I'd be driving home in the fog, going slow, and the whole view of the road was 50' and fog blinking to red every second. It was surreal.
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Oct 23, 2021 20:42
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