- Barco Fiesta
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a fantasy of olives
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Remember that new money fucker Martin Shkreli? The one who hiked up the price of that AIDS drug? He bought the only copy of Once Upon a Time in Shaolin, the album which contains the Wu Tang Secret. Wu Tang famously included a provision allowing them to caper the album and its elaborately-engraved case, with or without the involvement of Bill Murray, who is on that level.
So remember how David Murray Brockie, aka Oderus Urungus, died shortly after the auction for the album was won by Shkreli? No? Well gently caress off then kid, this is for mature intelligent eyes only. So Urungus did not die, but was critically wounded in an attempt to intercept the album as it was transported by the Department of the Interior from Shkreli's possession to Area 51 for storage and containment. He was forced to return to Scumdoggia and is currently undergoing a retrofit which will incorporate President/pop star-seeking (P/PSS) missiles into his augmentation schematics and allow him to more effectively conquer the earth.
Until then, the album is just sitting there next to the loving Ark of the Covenant in some New Mexico warehouse and unbeknownst to the population of earth, so distracted as we are with our Trump drama and mormon jump-humping and Tony Hawk at the airport, it is the center of an intergalactic cold war, with every technologically superior civilization threatening to unleash their ultimate doomsday weapons upon all others if any other attempts to seize the album.
As such, the earth and its paltry human political comings and goings are rife not only with the meddlings of nations, but of extraterrestrial forces. Crazy crazy poo poo walks among us right under our noses, escaping detection.
i have kept this information to myself for decades and divulge it now only
because this is the one place nobody ever looks
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Nov 21, 2021 07:40
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 3, 2024 00:20
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- take the moon
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by sebmojo
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ur secret is safe with me op
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Nov 21, 2021 17:21
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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I'll hump and I'll jump and I'll low your house down, OP.
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Nov 21, 2021 19:21
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- Escape From Noise
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I guess hiding it in New Mexico makes sense seeing as there's not much there and a lot of Americans don't even know it's a state.
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Nov 21, 2021 20:00
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- Escape From Noise
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Wait... but Area 51 is in Nevada!
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Nov 21, 2021 20:28
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- loopsheloop
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thanks for sharing, original poater
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Nov 22, 2021 02:10
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- loopsheloop
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*Original Poster, whoopsies
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Nov 22, 2021 02:11
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- Macnult
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giving Enter the 36 Chambers another listen through while i think about all of this new information
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Nov 22, 2021 07:49
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- Macnult
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"bring tha motherfuckin' ruckus"
urungus totally went in with this playing in his head
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Nov 22, 2021 07:53
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 3, 2024 00:20
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- Mummy Napkin
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Local news: A group calling themselves the ‘Incarcerated Scarfaces’ are storming Area 51 doing something called ‘Naruto running.’ More at 11
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Nov 22, 2021 15:19
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Nov 21, 2021 07:40
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