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X JAKK posted:Gentlemen, dicks on the table, ladies, do us the honor of measuring. Everything gets settled tonight. Ah how will we measure everyones dicks now? You suck grandpa. 
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Nov 27, 2021 22:08
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“Everyone, I want you to meet my new partner. We are in love and it would mean a lot if you all could be accepting of what we have together.” Drops pants and inserts myself into the back of the turkey. Humps turkey until completion while “Kiss You All Over” by Exile plays at half speed.
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Nov 28, 2021 00:58
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Colonel Cancer posted:Why would a grill need software? Or a wifi connection for that matter ummm how else am I supposed to see the meat without getting up? That internal camera is probably melting so no can't be that.
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Nov 28, 2021 16:40
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They put chips into grills and microwaves now for tracking purposes. Everything goes into the shadow meat database, a giant spreadsheet detailing the cuts and temperatures of every meat product cooked by an American. Once the meat database is complete there’s no telling what they could do.
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Nov 28, 2021 17:08
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Ror posted:They put chips into grills and microwaves now for tracking purposes. Everything goes into the shadow meat database, a giant spreadsheet detailing the cuts and temperatures of every meat product cooked by an American. Once the meat database is complete there’s no telling what they could do. I’ve uploaded my meat into the database.
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Nov 28, 2021 17:46
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Mega Man Battle Network was way, way too prescient.
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Nov 28, 2021 17:52
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Bags Fly at Noon posted:I’ve uploaded my meat into the database. That's smart because the cluster size will make it look bigger than it really is.
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Nov 28, 2021 17:55
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Bags Fly at Noon posted:I’ve uploaded my meat into the database. I'm torrenting the meat database right this minute 
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Nov 28, 2021 19:13
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You wouldn't download a brisket
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Nov 28, 2021 20:15
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Uncle: Haha did you see the thing on CNN about those weirdos marrying their anime girlfriends? They aren’t even real! They’re… what? What is it, Professor Shark? Why do you look angry all of a sudden? Okay, go ahead and share the Big Announcement you were going to tell us. Prof Shark: 
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Nov 28, 2021 20:48
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Non fungible turkey
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Nov 28, 2021 20:56
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Colonel Cancer posted:You wouldn't download a brisket gently caress you I wouldn't. Didn't some goon find out that his step sister was a porn star he beat off to a bunch?
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Nov 28, 2021 22:15
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Lorthdon posted:Drops pants and inserts myself into the back of the turkey. Humps turkey until completion while “Kiss You All Over” by Exile plays at half speed.  , except it’s “Lost In Love” by Air Supply.
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Nov 28, 2021 22:19
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sigher posted:gently caress you I wouldn't. It was definitely a bullshit story but yeah, it was Kacey Kox who he claimed to meet at Thanksgiving dinner, introduced to him as his new step-sister.
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Nov 28, 2021 22:23
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Hi all, I know there has BEEN a lot of talk about how I "ruined" thanks giving. IF you had just read my OTHER e-MAILS, you wouldn't of BEEN surprised by The JONES family THANKSGIVING DINNER 2021, SCHEDULE I printed for you all. I Put a lot of time into that schedule, and seating arrangements, and none of you EVEN tried to follow it. You would prefer to just waste time drinking alcohol and mindless talking talking to eachother, RATHER than engage in fun JONES family MEMORY building activities. I wouldn't of had to OF shouted at you all so much if you had just TRIED!!!!!!!. SO it's 342 days UNTILL the next THANKSGIVING, and I have attached my first ([draft} The JONES familes THANKSGIVING DINNER 2022, SCHEDULE. IF you could ALL just PLEASE read it this time, we WON't HAVE TO HAVE the same aargument every year. I JUST want us all to have family fun, and not WASTE OUR TIME every year just mindless talking to each other. I have incuded 17 thanks giving FAMILY games for next year. I know it seems a lot but IF I will SEND the instructions for EACH GAME, in EMAILS throughout the YEAR, so please READ THE EMAILS THIS YEAR so YOU can learn HOW to play all the games I SPENT A LOT OF TIME MAKING the RULES FOR!!! and we will have just enough time to play all of them, as Long as WE can get through the MEAL section of the SCHEdule in 10-15min. PLease ALSO see attached. The JONES family CHRISMAS LUNCH 2021, SCHEDULE. ALSo if someone could TELL me whos house We will be having IT at this year THAT wuold be great! Normarlly someone would of told me by now. - FAther Jones.
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Nov 29, 2021 01:16
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Edmund Sparkler posted:It was definitely a bullshit story but yeah, it was Kacey Kox who he claimed to meet at Thanksgiving dinner, introduced to him as his new step-sister. It was bullshit?  It was one of my favorites.
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Nov 29, 2021 06:57
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So that makes it three thanksgivings I saved, versus eight I ruined... two were kind of a draw.
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Nov 29, 2021 09:15
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*jumps in time machine and goes back to last week so he can suck last Thursday-Smugworth's dick at the dinner table*
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Nov 29, 2021 11:18
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dad when are you gonna be done with the grill, I wanna play Doom
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Nov 29, 2021 22:49
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Professor Shark posted:Uncle: Haha did you see the thing on CNN about those weirdos marrying their anime girlfriends? They aren’t even real! They’re… what? What is it, Professor Shark? Why do you look angry all of a sudden? Okay, go ahead and share the Big Announcement you were going to tell us. I support you.
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Nov 29, 2021 23:15
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Hazo posted:dad when are you gonna be done with the grill, I wanna play Doom We are using it to play Jackbox with the family tonight it's Thanksgiving ... it's still updating so Thanksgiving still isn't over nope.
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Nov 30, 2021 04:59
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*shows up for 15 minutes in a gas mask complaining about Biden*
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Nov 30, 2021 06:38
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Let me introduce you to ball breathing, yes, even you, auntie
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Nov 30, 2021 07:01
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Colonel Cancer posted:Let me introduce you to ball breathing, yes, even you, auntie Breathe is sucked through the balls?
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Dec 1, 2021 02:44
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wesleywillis posted:Breathe is sucked through the balls?
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Dec 1, 2021 14:46
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| # ? May 3, 2024 05:37 |
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sudonim posted:Air is stored in the balls. That's what the pump is for
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Dec 1, 2021 15:19
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