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Cream-of-Plenty posted:The government landed a helicopter on my front lawn today and who was inside but my mentor from a previous life. They need me to go back to work, they say. I keep telling them that I'm done--I'm done with killin monekys, they'll have to find somebody else. But they say this time is different. They showed me a photo of the monkey they wish to be dead--it's definitely a monkey i've seen a thousand times before. I said yes but this is the last time I do them a favor. Nobody kills monkies like me. Monke did nothing wrong. Maybe you're hunting the wrong animals.
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Jan 25, 2022 21:04
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Cream-of-Plenty posted:The government landed a helicopter on my front lawn today and who was inside but my mentor from a previous life. They need me to go back to work, they say. I keep telling them that I'm done--I'm done with killin monekys, they'll have to find somebody else. But they say this time is different. They showed me a photo of the monkey they wish to be dead--it's definitely a monkey i've seen a thousand times before. I said yes but this is the last time I do them a favor. Nobody kills monkies like me. Good luck soldier, you're going to need it. That monkey has taken out the best of them. 
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Jan 25, 2022 21:10
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if man is 5 if man is 5 if man is 5
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Jan 25, 2022 21:11
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One of the monkeys bit me but I think it’s probably no big deal. I just won’t tell anyone so they don’t get worried
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Jan 25, 2022 22:14
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I had ENTIRELY CONSENSUAL sex with 5, maybe 6 monkeys most of which were still living after the accident, alright? I don't think that's anything to write home about, let alone contact the CDC over. And those are just love bites. They get a little amorous, ok? It's not like I didn't return the favor 
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Jan 25, 2022 22:21
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hmm… I could sure go for a banana right now. oooOOhh. Haha, sorry about that. Oh, oh… Oooh ooh ah ah ah OOH AH AH
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Jan 25, 2022 22:24
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Big Beef City posted:I had ENTIRELY CONSENSUAL sex with 5, maybe 6 monkeys most of which were still living after the accident, alright? Outrail 2022. Effects of syphilis on captive cynomolgus monkey intra-tribe social dynamics following a lacklustre inter-species multi-individual sexual encounter. Journal of Simian Sexology 3:32 iv. 15 pages.
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Jan 25, 2022 22:46
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When I was briefed on the ape escape, I was told that we're looking for Cynomolgus Macaques. Is that some kind of bonobo? Those are the only damned dirty apes I'm interested in catching.
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Jan 25, 2022 23:03
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cynomolgus macaques was one of the bad guys from the Star Wars prequels iirc. Maybe the guy from the fish planet
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Jan 25, 2022 23:09
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In case anyone missed the news interview: https://twitter.com/MicheleFallon7/status/1485486822729953284
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Jan 26, 2022 12:19
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just found out about Monkey B virus, which is a pretty funny name for a herpes virus that kills 80% of infected people 🙈
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Jan 26, 2022 13:34
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kntfkr posted:if man is 5 if man is 5 if man is 5 That monkeys gone to heaven ChunTheUnavoidable posted:just found out about Monkey B virus, which is a pretty funny name for a herpes virus that kills 80% of infected people 🙈 B stands for butt haha
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Jan 26, 2022 13:44
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Monkey butt virus lol
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Jan 26, 2022 13:45
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Jan 26, 2022 14:55
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YeahTubaMike posted:Why'd they kill them? joe rogan was in charge of rounding them up
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Jan 26, 2022 15:23
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Always worried about diseases in Macaque
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Jan 26, 2022 15:53
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:In case anyone missed the news interview: Well they mentioned in the video that people reported gun fire. So they're killing the monkeys. That can't be a good sign.
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Jan 26, 2022 18:38
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'For guys!' Gott make sure I'm not putting womens anti monkey-but powder on my butt
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Jan 26, 2022 18:38
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 Capitalism. Also 
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Jan 26, 2022 18:53
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Is there any change in the formula for various sexes/ages/species?
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Jan 26, 2022 18:56
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No idea, probably not. The guys bottle picture doesn't say talc free.
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Jan 26, 2022 18:57
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Different food colorant / flavor additive
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Jan 26, 2022 21:26
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