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The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Which object in your home would you least want to gain speech and sentience
 
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Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
I'd say my dishwasher, because it would always be judging the things I eat and drink and criticizing me

* # ? Feb 26, 2022 07:32
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# ? May 3, 2024 00:00
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Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer
The dental floss

* # ? Feb 26, 2022 07:58
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Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




 terlet

* # ? Feb 26, 2022 08:38
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Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:
I want everything in my house to crack wise

* # ? Feb 26, 2022 08:41
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Mafic Rhyolite
Nov 7, 2020

by Hand Knit
butt plug probably

* # ? Feb 26, 2022 08:50
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endlessmonotony
Nov 4, 2009

by Fritz the Horse
The desktop computer.

* # ? Feb 26, 2022 08:51
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AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
 My bedside fan would be pretty annoying. I can't sleep at all if I can hear talking, which is why I have a bedside fan.......

* # ? Feb 26, 2022 08:52
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Mafic Rhyolite
Nov 7, 2020

by Hand Knit

endlessmonotony posted:

The desktop computer.

Come to think of it that's the most expensive thing in my house

I can just get a new butt plug and let the old one go free or like toss it in a fire if its evil or something, my computer is much harder to replace

* # ? Feb 26, 2022 08:53
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AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
 Wallet would be pretty funny. It'd always be all like WHEW! I WAS DYIN' IN THERE! (laugh track) whenever you take it out of your pocket

* # ? Feb 26, 2022 08:55
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Laserface
Dec 24, 2004

 My wife

* # ? Feb 26, 2022 09:17
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Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe

endlessmonotony posted:

The desktop computer.

i cannot believe people are saying anything other than this i mean lmao

* # ? Feb 26, 2022 09:28
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Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




 some of us use laptops ok??

* # ? Feb 26, 2022 09:28
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SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls

 My butt plug OP.

* # ? Feb 26, 2022 09:32
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Greg of Doom
Dec 22, 2021

by sebmojo
My epidermis

* # ? Feb 26, 2022 09:52
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Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Pillbug
Myself. I wish I were a pee zombie



That's a little philosophy joke for you phds out there on these august fora :grin:

* # ? Feb 26, 2022 10:03
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Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer
My shameful soviet karaoke machine

* # ? Feb 26, 2022 10:12
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Pac and Cheese
Oct 29, 2010

gotta walk fast
my wife
please take her
lol

* # ? Feb 26, 2022 10:16
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By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

 I've done horrible things to my toilet and I won't be able to face it's recriminations.
and thats just today.

* # ? Feb 26, 2022 11:38
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gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007
 myself

* # ? Feb 26, 2022 11:48
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Lucky Guy
Jan 24, 2013

TY for no bm

Bad Purchase posted:

terlet
* # ? Feb 26, 2022 12:05
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BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

A Soft Nylon Bag
My Billie Eilish Signature Edition Amazon Echo

* # ? Feb 26, 2022 13:01
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Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins
The doorknob I pleasure myself with.

* # ? Feb 26, 2022 13:06
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sootikins
May 24, 2008

Did I ever. Remember it as if it were yesterday. Soon as I woke, I went to empty my bowels - my favorite part of the day. Defecatin' to the sunrise - downright glorious.

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

My Billie Eilish Signature Edition Amazon Echo
* # ? Feb 26, 2022 13:11
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# ? May 3, 2024 00:00
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Dr. Cool Aids
Jul 6, 2009
 your mum lol

* # ? Feb 26, 2022 13:14
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Which object in your home would you least want to gain speech and sentience