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One time when I was in my 20s and got arrested for some small poo poo, I had $200 bail. My state required a bail bondsman to come and facilitate the transfer and because it was near a holiday, I guess none were working. So even though I had people in spades willing to provide bail, I was refused because some dickhole was too lazy to work on July 1st, and sat in jail over a long weekend over there refusal to take their own bail money Most notable incidents (this was in a district holding cell, so it's all cops, not jail jail) were some guy across hall throwing his poo poo all over and them leaving it outside my door / mocking me all day while it sat there. They also lied and said I made bail to excite me then were like haha jk you're stuck in jail still Also some army lieutenant freshly minted was in there and broke both his hands punching the cell door in anger at his captivity, a thing which makes those nights, cop lies, and feces all worth it tbh
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Mar 15, 2022 10:45
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| # ? May 27, 2024 18:14 |
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One cool thing about jail is that poop jokes and other basic forms of humor are like 100x funnier to people, so even an average shitposter can have like 120 people laughing their asses off and you make a lot of friends Also if you ever wanted to just have an entire group of pariah to wake up and poo poo on, making fun of guards is always another good way to make friends Trolling jail guards into blowing up into a seething rage was the easiest thing I ever did and I can say that all people should be able to experience absolute unfettered verbal freedom when mocking somebody, at least once in life The simplicity of making inmates laugh their rear end off can't be overstated, saying poo poo like "hahaha unpopular guards EATS POOP AND LIKES IT will elicit guffaws from cells hundreds of feet away and angry red tomato faced guards Also all the guards treated you like you were there for life, which as a white person from the same general area of residency as the guards, I took great pains to learn their full names + towns of residence while I was there, and would frequently address them as Officer First Name, Last Name of X Town Some of them thought they were clever about going under radars but tricking guards into filing a complaint about you as an inmate meant you got their full names, and lol if I don't know exactly who was torturing people in jail still.
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Mar 15, 2022 10:56
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One time (on thanksgiving, actually) I pissed off a guard so much he tried to formally discipline me. He had been walking past my cell and saw my prison photo and made fun of me, so I got out of my bunk and made fun of him back right to his face. He flipped out and started calling me a oval office at the top of his lungs and then literally stamped his feet and ran away screaming it at me. 5 min later he comes down with an official discipline notice for me to sign and I'm like, cool, get me a second one so I can file a complaint about you with the state He refuses me the complaint so I loudly yell over his shoulder so all other inmates and guards can hear it- his outburst was rare, and loud, and noticeable His coworkers call him up into the guards tower thing and I see them basically yelling at him. 5 min later he comes back and says if I don't file my complaint he won't file his lmao His coworkers, and, I has pointed this out to the guard in question, probably pointed out that not only were they + 100 inmates witnesses to him starting a fight with me, it was all on camera, and he LEGIT stamped his feet like a drat bully rear end child while calling me oval office and stamping back up to the tower It was a good victory tbh. Jail rules are quite clear and strict regarding the 2 way street of conduct between guards and inmates, well, it's always easy to isolate the people in life with easy buttons to push. His body language was visibly aggressive and he shouted oval office loud enough it echoed like 5 times each time so, it was undeniable he broke like 3 rules on camera and also undeniable I was laying down quiet in my bed before he came up and visibly pointed at my picture on the cell door Thanks idiot E: I'm writing these on my phone and spell check is basically changing words to be incorrect and I am not gonna unfuck a single post so if it's hard to read, gently caress you and gently caress your family I don't care
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Mar 15, 2022 11:06
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Also, having spent time in prison and American hospitals, both at length / months+ at a time, I would choose prisons, every time E: the jail dentist was fired while I was there because it turned out he was pulling inmates teeth for fun,btw E2: if you're good at MMO economics you'll also be very good at jail economics imo. Shouting across block is kinda like trade chat and potato chips are worth more than gold so, I basically played a micro economics sim / barter game while I was there. I ended up an apple magnate that was unparalleled on the block, lol. All the apples you could want, all mine. I knew I really made it when the moonshiners/aryans started coming to me because I was known as the fruitiest Worf fucked around with this message at 11:22 on Mar 15, 2022 |
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Mar 15, 2022 11:11
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Worf posted:I was known as the fruitiest Sounds like a dangerous thing to be known for, in prison.
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Mar 15, 2022 11:27
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Archonet posted:Sounds like a dangerous thing to be known for, in prison. Prison is very easy to be safe in if you're funny+over 6 feet/200 lb and there for assaulting people wearing badges, or really any one of the three I don't really remember much advanced homophobia in that way. You'd end up meeting people from other blocks, and many of them were quite open about how great it was that there was so much dick to suck lol The old timers would be against it in the same way they are on the outside, with scrunched faces and talks about "those people" Definitely funny to be in there and see the difference in how older inmates vs millennials cared about that poo poo. This (older, extremely violent, black) guy I used to eat most of my meals with would talk about their dirty lifestyles or whatever and I'd be like dude you're a convicted violent black man in America do u not see the irony of this And mind you his nephew (my eventual cellmate, actually) was also on our block and was sitting there nodding and agreeing with me lol It was pretty amusing because I didn't bother holding back or being reserved regardless of who they were. I treated all the inmates with dignity / equally and guards with disdain so that also gives you much freedom to speak. But yeh, those things weren't really a question or concern and for a 100% fact my body sovereignty was only ever violated by the state / government
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Mar 15, 2022 11:52
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You either get the oil sachet or you get the powder sachet. CO gets the sweet soy sachet. Thats how it works in the pen.
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Mar 15, 2022 11:54
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I'm glad I don't have to listen to flavor packet drama ever again
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Mar 15, 2022 11:57
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loving hell prison makes u listen to the dumbest poo poo Also lol at the amount of people in prison going around trying to collect very specific pieces of your trash because they repurpose them for drug use or anarchy or whatever Weird how much very flammable objects they give you, but also wire and batteries and whatnot Worf fucked around with this message at 12:00 on Mar 15, 2022 |
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Mar 15, 2022 11:57
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Personality wise, the biggest difference between SA mods and jail guards on average, seems to be that most jail guards would think paying $10 to be a bully on the internet was a dumb idea
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Mar 15, 2022 12:04
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A very big amount of jail guards do their hair and wear cologne to work, daily More so than in white collar fortune 50 jobs I've worked One danced around a lot and called me handsome. Not as an adjective, but as a pet name Jail was weird
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Mar 15, 2022 12:06
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Worf posted:Personality wise, the biggest difference between SA mods and jail guards on average, seems to be that most jail guards would think paying $10 to be a bully on the internet was a dumb idea lol
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Mar 15, 2022 14:48
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Jail is a pathway to many experiences some consider to be unnatural.
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Mar 15, 2022 14:56
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I was in lock up and bored but the only book in the cell was Terry Goodkind's The Sword of Truth. I read the whole thing
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Mar 15, 2022 15:00
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| # ? May 27, 2024 18:14 |
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I went to a few ICP concerts and bought a big vinyl sticker for the back of my car. Had a cop come into ask me about it while I was at work to see if I was in a Jugglao gang. Naw man I'm flipping pizzas not gangbanging, isn't there something more important for you to focus on? Christ.
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Mar 15, 2022 15:03
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