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Over at Coupons & Deals Movie Nite we recently watched and enjoyed the classic B-movie Teenagers from Outer Space: Not only is this movie a beloved pile of amateur schlock, it's also in the public domain; here's one of several copies available on Archive.org. You might know it already from being featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000, or Elvira's Movie Macabre, or Off Beat Cinema; suffice to say it has been thoroughly riffed at this point. But there's more to Teenagers from Outer Space than riffbait. It's not just a hilariously bad alien invasion movie where 35-year-old "teens" with cap-guns shoot lens flares that turn people into classroom skeletons. Teenagers from Outer Space also has an incredible tangle of fascinating details to its production. Tidbits include the 14,000 dollar micro-micro-budget that eventually became the basis of Los Angeles County Superior Court Case No. 702 320, July 3, 1959 between the producers, once great friends, who never spoke again after it was ruled the film had made no profits to distribute between them. Also, actor Robert "King" Moody makes his debut as "space ship captain" and goes on to play Ronald McDonald for 16 years. Then there's the stock music by William Loose and Fred Steiner, much of which is also used in Night of the Living Dead, you'll recognize it immediately if you've seen both. And there is, of course, the ultimately tragic story of Director Tom Graeff, who, among other exploits, at one point declared himself the second coming, tried to change his name legally to Jesus Christ II and took out ads to that effect in Variety. He was a larger-than-life figure much akin to Ed Wood, and like Wood he has already been thoroughly documented at his own official website as well as a documentary film by director Jim Tushinski. Teenagers from Outer Space was run for years as cheap TV schedule filler, it's also featured in video games and sampled in music and that's all just direct references to the film itself, there's countless examples of stylistic influence, everything from Mars Attacks to The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra. Suffice to say, it's a well known B-movie. So you might be wondering, even if it is in the public domain and sure we can do whatever we want with it, what could there possibly be left to do with Teenagers from Outer Space that all those other comedians and film nerds haven't got to already? It's obvious, from a modern movie business perspective. Where's the sequel?  I propose that BYOB, already long-time fans of skeletons, crustaceans and flying saucers, are the perfect bunch to write (and maybe even eventually produce) Teenagers from Outer Space II. This thread is for ideas, jokes, fragments, character pitches, anything and everything you might want to see in the sequel to this beloved film, about men in painter's suits who mean to plague the Earth with giant lobsters and skeletonizer guns. It's gonna be (forgive me) a blast. Some initial ideas to get us started: Code Jockey posted:what if the giant lobster is a 3/4ths of the way reveal... but then it gets wrecked by a giant crab BFM posted:crab should be one of the heroes and he's small most of the movie, then becomes big at the end from a raygun attached to powerlines, but with reversed polarity from the power company Manifisto posted:I want to see a lobster skeleton, not a carapace, a full on lobster skellie 
BoldFrankensteinMir fucked around with this message at 18:53 on Jun 10, 2022 |
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May 12, 2022 19:51
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"now, i hate to do this, but we want our betty to be authentic" *raises hammer* also i think this is fertile ground. gotta ponder.
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May 12, 2022 20:14
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how many years have passed since the first movie? maybe they're adults from outer space now... |
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May 12, 2022 20:34
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I'm the |
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May 12, 2022 20:48
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Nosfereefer posted:how many years have passed since the first movie? maybe they're adults from outer space now... at this point i think it's mostly skeletons from outer space
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May 12, 2022 22:32
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Heather Papps posted:at this point i think it's mostly skeletons from outer space also not a bad idea and the concept of a bruce coville short story where an alien who looks like a skeleton finds solace by hanging out with skeletonized humans
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May 12, 2022 22:33
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un-skeleton ray gun that puts meat on bones
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May 12, 2022 23:19
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biosterous posted:un-skeleton ray gun that puts meat on bones natural history museum breaks into panic
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May 12, 2022 23:42
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the crab lives in a sea of crust called a crustocean |
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May 13, 2022 00:36
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well, looks like i'll have to watch the movie |
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May 13, 2022 01:34
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your friend sk posted:well, looks like i'll have to watch the movie We'll definitely stage another viewing for movie-nite too. Coupon Crab and the Gargon go waaaay back: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wdXfcsM9aQ
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May 13, 2022 01:42
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:We'll definitely stage another viewing for movie-nite too. Coupon Crab and the Gargon go waaaay back:  The sequel will have two horny swimmers, but in two different pools. |
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May 13, 2022 02:26
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Buttchocks posted:
What if there were horny synchronized swimmers?
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May 13, 2022 06:20
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:What if there were horny synchronized swimmers? That's an entire musical number right there! |
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May 13, 2022 17:21
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What if the sequel starts right after the first movie ends, and the protagonists are the government officials and scientists studying the alien technology from crash sites and interviewing the characters from the first movie? So it's almost like a procedural. We'd have some labcoats explaining stuff in classic B-movie style, some generals demanding we close the skeleton-ray gap, and some X files mystery type stuff, with government agents rounding up space lobsters and the Supreme Leader, and figuring out who's been shipping Bibles off-world to foment an alien teen revolution, and how.
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May 13, 2022 23:06
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:What if the sequel starts right after the first movie ends, and the protagonists are the government officials and scientists studying the alien technology from crash sites and interviewing the characters from the first movie? So it's almost like a procedural. We'd have some labcoats explaining stuff in classic B-movie style, some generals demanding we close the skeleton-ray gap, and some X files mystery type stuff, with government agents rounding up space lobsters and the Supreme Leader, and figuring out who's been shipping Bibles off-world to foment an alien teen revolution, and how. i like this idea: cops shoving teens photos of skeletons and yelling at them for crying
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May 13, 2022 23:55
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question: do the teenagers need to be from outer space |
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May 14, 2022 00:03
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Space Outer from Teenager 2 |
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May 14, 2022 00:32
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im imagining a prequel; Kidz from Outer Space |
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May 14, 2022 01:27
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kalel posted:question: do the teenagers need to be from outer space I mean, everybody's from space if you think about it |
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May 14, 2022 07:16
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:I mean, everybody's from space if you think about it Races from different planets arguing: You're the alien! No, you're the alien! No you! No you! Nuh-uh!
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May 14, 2022 07:50
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Invading aliens from outer space designing their spaceship in the shape of a giant horse to sneak on to Earth after reading the earthling story of the trojan war.
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May 14, 2022 07:54
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what if we pull the old switcheroo. some future society of earthlings flies to mars (or wherever), including a bunch of earth teens, to look for grazing land for our own creatures, which will grow to be gigantically huge in mars's low gravity. martian society is exatly like the society of the invading space aliens in the first movie. our earth teens have their own kind of ray, perhaps a mummifying ray or a werewolf ray or something. there are of course martian equivalents of betty and horny pool girl and one of our earth teens falls for martian betty and decides that invading would be a bad idea. half the fun would be coming up with martian variations for things like the dog that gets zapped, power lines, and so on.
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May 14, 2022 14:52
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:I mean, everybody's from space if you think about it well of course you would say that, john |
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May 14, 2022 15:39
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Okay I think I've successfully tied most of our ideas together into an outline, there's lots of room for improvement but it's a start: Teenagers from Outer Space II: Teenagers IN Outer Space 1st draft outline: Intro: The closing events of Teenagers from Outer Space. Derek sacrifices himself valiantly to destroy the entire fleet of invading ships, SPACE CAPTAIN (clearly Ronald McDonald), THOR and the SUPREME LEADER, as well as countless gargons. Wreckage is everywhere, offscreen. After only a few short moments of grief, BETTY, GRAMPA and JOE are picked up by government agents, the military descends on the town, and spinning newspaper headlines speculate wildly. Act 1: AGENT MYSTERIOUS, a young FBI boogeyman, interviews townsfolk about what they saw during the alien invasion. All the stories are remarkably consistent and level-headed and obviously true. One interviewee, FARM KID, a wholesome American teen, has strong but vague religious views on the flying saucers, and insists on giving the agent a book, telling them it's "good news" but conspicuously not saying what it is. Another interviewee, DR BIOLOGIST, a dashing young scientist, not only saw the incident but is working for the government right now researching it. Everybody knows, it's impossible not to know, look at all the crashed space ships and that huge dead lobster monster. Nobody could ever hush this up. They exchange cards. The Agent reports all this to the high-ups over a secret secure radio phone in a hilariously heavy briefcase, but despite common sense and the clear evidence that is literally everywhere, the agent is told to try and cover it all up with the usual stories about swamp gas and ball lightning. Agent Mysterious despondently agrees, and while lamenting the difficulty of the task, opens the book, discovering a strange set of coordinates inscribed inside. Meanwhile, behind heavy security, military scientists examine the wreckage of the failed invasion, including skeletonizer rays and one living gargon specimen. Dr Biologist and their COOL LAB ASSISTANT study a car-sized gargon in captivity, with an EARTH CRAB SIDEKICK for comparison/ comedy relief. Together their experiments show that gargons thrive on nitroginized gas, also known as nitrogen. The scientists theorize that gargons are a specially bred food source, colossal space cows that taste like lobster, the perfect meat animal. Though their research could solve world hunger, requests for more funding keep getting denied. Meanwhile, Agent Mysterious drives out to the coordinates in the book, and finds a crop circle. They investigate a nearby small town only to find the entire population dead, their bleached-white and stiff-jointed skeletons still slumped over at work stations and in the driver's seats of wrecked cars. They are horrified to find an entire municipal swimming pool full of skeletons floating in a macabre synchronized swim of human remains. Briefly transfixed with horror, Agent Mysterious lets their guard down and is ambushed by three shadowy figures... Meanwhile, despite stunning progress to show, the gargon research team have a disappointing meeting with GENERAL TOYBOX, who warns them of tight budgets and a need to 'remain competitive'. Dr Biologist begrudgingly moves on with their work, but in following the general to object, Cool Lab Assistant stumbles upon a terrible secret: The study of the captured skeletonizer ray is of much more interest to the military than giant seafood, and the research is not going well. The few original alien rays the military were able to test quickly ran out of power, and attempts to reverse engineer the technology have mostly failed. The tests are run by DR LASERS, an expert in electric weaponry who drools over the skeleton ray's destructive potential but can not seem to crack its secrets, to cartoonishly great frustration. Failed attempts include a MUMMY RAY and a RAY THAT PUTS MEAT BACK ON SKELETONS, both of which were disapointments to the military, and General Toybox is redirecting funds in one last push with a warning. Meanwhile, the gargon study is going to be eliminated completely. Meanwhile, Agent Mysterious regains conciousness tied up aboard an alien saucer now landed in the crop circle- a pickup truck nearby is loaded with cates. Though bound, Agent Mysterious notes an open crate inside the ship with him, full of more black books- he also finds two more nearby skeletons. He listens carefully and overhears the SPACE TEEN GIRLS, three ray-wielding aliens in jumpsuits, viciously interrogating another prisoner in the cockpit of the ship. They want to know who has been smuggling this "seditious material" to their home planet, disrupting their tyranny with its messages of hope. When the captured FARM KID refuses to name names, the aliens threaten TORCHA. Meanwhile, Cool Lab Assistant barely escapes the skeleton ray lab undetected, but not before seeing the General's plan B to figure out the weapons- torturing the info out of the captured Betty, Joe and Grampa! Act 2: When Dr Biologist finds out the study is being squashed they are furious, but the prisoners are far more serious an issue. They hesitate on who to call, before choosing the card of Agent Mysterious. At the space ship, the space teen girls are about to torcha Farm Kid when Agent Mysterious' briefcase phone starts ringing (it also vibrates strongly like a giant cellphone). Agent Mysterious feigns unconciousness as the space teen girls investigate the noise- not knowing what it is they fumble with the suitcase phone while opening it, accidentally answering it. Dr Biologist answers on the other end, and Agent Mysterious takes their chance, quickly calling out directions to the field, an explanation of what's going on, and instructions to "bring all the backup you can" while space teen girls kick him and try to shut him up. Before the aliens can figure out how to disengage the phone connection (they have no clue how to hang up) Dr Biologist is able to write it all down carefully and hangs up first. All three aliens turn to the Agent. Having written the instructions down (with a big circle around "space ship") and, having no better ideas, Dr Biologist and Cool Lab Assistant and Earth Crab Sidekick try to sneak their now bus-sized gargon out of the military facility under a big tarp. It goes surprisingly well for a while, but then they have to follow it smashing through a couple brick walls after their cover is blown, and eventually bypass the 18-wheeler they rented and just ride the gargon down the road out in the open. Meanwhile, a badly beaten Agent Mysterious is thrown back into the space ship's cargo bay next to Farm Kid and the two skeletons. The space teen girls return to the cockpit, still furious with the suitcase phone which remains off its hook and is now repeating an operator message. The agent is hurt but he'll recover- what's more important is figuring out what's going on. Farm Kid tells what they know: for over a year now a group of teens with strong but vague religious convictions have been meeting after school to get the word out about their good book. When one of their delegations was handing them out (despite being clearly unwelcome) at make-out point one evening they saw a spaceship land. It was an early scout ship for the Space Teens, and its pilots SAMSON and SPACE PILOT almost skeletonized Farm Kid and their friends, but didn't. They were fast converts to the wisdom of the book, and after just two weeks of study group at the youth center they were ready for missionary work. Space Pilot and Samson began smuggling crates of books off Earth to their home planet. The scientists and Earth Crab ride the bus-sized-lobster-esque giant gargon down country roads to the field, spotting the silver saucer in the crop circle easily. Inside the ship the Space Teens threaten Agent Mysterious and Farm Kid with their ray guns, but Agent Mysterious correctly guesses the guns are out of power after the killing spree in town- otherwise they would have skeletonized the prisoners already. He also guesses their ship was destroyed or else it would be nearby. Their bluff called, the Space Teens declare their intent to steal this ship once they're sure they've killed all the smugglers, then prepare to beat Agent Mysterious with pipes, but are interrupted by the giant gargon attacking the ship. The Teens run outside and Agent Mysterious, who has secretly cut their bindings, takes advantage of the distraction and releases Farm Kid. Out in the crop circle Dr Biologist and company have dismounted the gargon, who continues to defend them against the Space Teens despite the teens' insistence that it obey them and not the humans. One of the Teens is cut in half by a giant snapping claw before the other two surrender, and are tied up in the ship like their once-captives now-captors. Dr Biologist, Lab Assistant and Crab Sidekick meet up with Agent Mysterious and Farm Kid and share what they know. The scientists are insistant that they keep the flying saucer away from General Toybox, but there's a catch- none of them know how to fly it. Farm Kid comes closest, having watched Samson and Space Pilot, but unfortunately they only know how to fly around on impule engines, the deep space capacities of the ship are a mystery. If only the Space Teens hadn't skeletonized Samson and Space Captain! This gives Lab Assistant an idea. Farm Kid flies the flying saucer clumisily back to the government labs, where Agent Mysterious and the gargon create a diversion while the scientists sneak back inside. They confront Dr Lasers torturing Joe with the mummification ray- the heros demand the un-skeletonizing ray seen earlier, but Dr Lasers refuses, killing Joe and firing at the heros with the mummifying ray (which wraps various objects it hits around the room in ancient bandages). Lab Assistant tries to stop Dr Lasers directly but is mummified. Betty and Grampa escape in the fracas and the fight ends when Dr Lasers accidentally bounces the beam off of Betty's mirror compact, mummifying himself. Farm Kid picks up the rest of the party with a tractor beam through the roof and they all escape with the deskeletonizer ray. Dr Biologist uses the antiskeletonizer ray to return Samson and Space Pilot to life, clothes and hair and all somehow, it's a real marvel. The aliens are grateful for their rescue and wowed by the antiskeletonizer: such an anti-weapon could finally turn the tide in in their rebellion against the evil Space Teens. They agree to drop Grampa back at his house for a nap, but Betty insists on accompanying the rest of the party to the Alien home world. It's what Derek and Joe both would have wanted. Back at the ruins of the lab General Toybox reviews footage of the flying saucer making mincemeat of earth forces, and smiles, now aware of the true super-weapon in play. The flying saucer full of black books and our heroes flies off into space piloted by Space Pilot, with Betty learning the controls as they go. Samson and Space Teen explain the situation to the rest of the crew: ever since the Supreme Commander was killed on Earth the society of the Space Teens has been in open revolt. Rebels are coming out of the woodworks while remnants of the old power structure are cracking down wherever they can, and the space missionaries fear everything might be destroyed if the balance doesn't tip soon. The captured Space Teens laugh in their faces- the rebellion stands no chance against the New Supreme Leader, who is already gathering power. The heroes formulate a plan to split up when they reach the alien home world: Farm Kid, Samson and Dr Biologist will be dropped at the rebel HQ to hand out books, while Agent Mysterious and Space Pilot will attempt to deliver the antiskeletonizer ray to the front lines. Betty insists she go with the Agent, who eventually gives in. After being dropped at rebel HQ Farm Kid Dr Biologist and Samson are at first received with hostility despite bringing the Space Teens as captured prisoners, until they also reveal the now gigantic gargon from out of the flying saucer's hold (the aliens are also wowed by the Crab Sidekick, a species they have never seen before). Though gargons regularly grow to such giant size, one this young has never been recorded growing so large: the secret is Nitrogen, which Earth's atmosphere is full of and could be traded easily, giving hope to an interplanetary economy, or even alliance, that could solve world hunger on both planets. Unlike the US government, the space rebels see the potential immediately. Meanwhile Agent Mysterious, Space Pilot and Betty take the flying saucer to the front lines of the rebellion's war against space tyranny, landing covertly outside a small alien town. On foot they go through essentially the events of the first film only backwards- Agent Mysterious draws suspicion as they have never seen the inside of a hovermobile, and fires a regular earth gun into the air to scare away an alien dog. Betty's clothes suggest to locals she is part of a circus troupe, and an alien version of Grampa lets her rent his spare residence pod for no money down. Space Pilot attempts to contact the rebels, but accidentally draws the attention of local authorities. Back at rebel HQ Farm Kid restores the badly beaten morale of the troops by reading nondescript passages from the black books, that are vaguely about hope and goodness etc. They see the effects that nebulous religion is having on the locals, giving them the inner fire to resist the tyranny of the old regime. Meanwhile Crab Sidekick, exposed to the alien atmosphere, has begun to grow, and Dr Biologist theorizes that "Oxyginized gas", namely oxygen, which is more abundant in this planet's atmosphere, is somehow the cause. Samson rallies the troops for one last offensive against the facist remanants of the Supreme Leader's army. The captured space teens, meanwhile, have escaped. In the small alien town, Agent Mysterious tries to find Space Pilot to no avail, and is partially skeletonized by fascist forces, only to be saved by the antiskeletonizer ray, to the astonishment of an alien doctor and nurse in a small clinic. They theorize that, if connected to an advanced alien power source, the device might even become more powerful. Betty notes that Derek did something similar with the skeletonizer ray on Earth. The doctor makes copies of the device's schematics, though they fear it will take years to fabricate another one with alien technology. Heavy saucer-fire outside shows the fighting is intensifying, as more and more rebels fill the streets with black books. A broadcast from the NEW SURPREME LEADER, formerly the vice supreme leader, shows they have captured Space Pilot and the two escaped Space Teens have returned, submitting their prisoner to TORCHA. Betty takes the ship's controls and is almost shot out of the air, until a giant Crab Sidekick ridden by Doctor Biologist crests a nearby hill, leading the rebel charge. The saucer takes off towards the New Supreme Commander's flagship hovering over a desert. Act 3: A huge battle between space teens, black book rebels, flying saucers and the huge Crab Sidekick rages, mostly off screen and described by onlookers. Betty drops Agent Mysterious onto the flagship with the tractor beam and draws away fire from the air, while the Agent rescues Space Pilot from the Space teens, who are aghast at his "crude earth weapon", a revolver that kills space men just fine despite being primitive to them, and actually takes longer to die from and hurts a lot more. Outside the rebellion is not going well, with rebels being skeletonized left and right. The giant crab fights a giant ancient gargon equipped as a beast of war, and Dr Biologist uses their undertanding of the creature's anatomy to win what is essentially an enormous crustacean wrestling match. But it is not enough. The rebels are on the verge of losing. Out of bullets, Agent Mysterious and Space Captain are cornered by the New Supreme Leader's guards, and skeletonized by the evil teens. Their bones are dropped unceremoniously out of the ship's garbage chute as the villains all laugh. The war seems lost. But inside the flying saucer, Betty finishes rigging the deskeletonizer ray to the ships' power core, and reads vague passages about sacrifice from the black book. She echoes Derek's sentiment of making this planet her home. Suddenly, every character from every location points off screen and describes the coup de gras: Betty flies the saucer over the battlefield zapping contless skeletons back to life out the window, and then bounces the enhanced beam off the shiny surface of the flagship, causing a huge blast that sends a wave of energy for miles in every direction, reviving the dead including Agent Mysterious and Space Captain and countless others. Betty's face appears in the sky briefly as the explosion dissipates, and black book rebels look on in wonder. Dr Biologist finally thumbs through the book and realizes it is not originally a religious text as they had assumed, but just a bunch of "groovy" motivational sayings intended for light, vaguely pseudo-religious self-help. Whatever works. The heroes regroup with the rebels. Samson remains on the alien planet to oversee reconstruction as the new rebel leader, presenting their saviors with gifts: crates of reverse engineered deskeletonizer rays and gargon eggs with the equipment to properly tame them, everything Earth will need to maintain peace with the Space Teens. Dr Biologist says goodbye to Crab Sidekick who will also remain to breed a new, even better food source for the aliens. Farm Kid will remain to teach the religion of the black book, and gives solemn thanks in a group prayer for the dual sacrifices of Derek and Betty. Perhaps someday someone will invent an anti-exploded-spaceship ray, but until then, their memory will live on as legends of the rebellion. Space Pilot returns Dr Biologist and Agent Mysterious to Earth, where General Toybox is waiting for them with tanks and anti-aircraft guns. Before landing however, the heros fire another wave of antiskeletonizer energy using the ship's power core and the reflective saucer's surface, raising all skeletons on Earth back to life, including everyone in the town, Joe and Dr Lasers (who just pull their mummy bandages off) as well as everyone who has ever been buried in graveyards and all the animals in the natural history museums too. In the ensuing chaos the saucer lands safely outside of town, and Dr Biologist notes how similar all this is to an Earth religious prophecy; Agent Mysterious notes that the government's official stance on what really looks like the resurrection day is just "swamp gas and ball lightning". They wave as the saucer disappears into the stars. In the final scene, Grampa awakes from his nap and looks out his front door to see a brontosaurus running down the street, being chased by ancient Romans and a few cowboys. He goes back to bed. THE END.
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May 31, 2022 20:40
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The best/worst movie that will never reach the silver screen. I love it!
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May 31, 2022 21:11
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immediate thoughts: someone needs to look like col. sanders de-sekeleton ray is genius gotta get back to reading but these bubbled to the surface immediately
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May 31, 2022 21:21
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This should be the ending credits music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiocOruWjEk
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Jun 3, 2022 20:06
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Don't spend the whole 14k budget in an ending credits song! Use the public domain!
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Jun 4, 2022 00:22
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To be true to the original we should use canned production music, agreed. Though it would be hilarious to use the soundtrack to a Night of the Living Dead sequel, I will admit.
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Jun 4, 2022 01:11
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Saoshyant posted:Don't spend the whole 14k budget in an ending credits song! Use the public domain! someone make a soundalike backing track and i'll write/sing alternate lyrics
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Jun 4, 2022 01:11
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Heather Papps posted:someone make a soundalike backing track and i'll write/sing alternate lyrics I got somethin to say I woke up early today
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Jun 4, 2022 03:26
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