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The world is ruled by a powerful stone age corporation, with several dinosaurs at the helm. More than 89% of the working population works in quarrels and gravel pits, digging for who knows what. Smaller dinosaurs are forced into slavery in the homes of plebian families. But I didn't need to tell you all of that, because I assume you've seen the Flintstones. Let's make some stuff up about that dystopian stonepunk world |
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May 21, 2022 06:09
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| # ? May 8, 2024 23:10 |
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All of the captive dinosaurs must be doped up every morning with a bowl of a powerful sedative drug known only as Pebbles (available in fruity and cocoa varieties) or they go feral and kill the families they serve. Fred and Barney have themselves become addicted to this drug. They do their best to hide this fact from their families, but whenever they're home alone they spend most of their time fighting over the rations they've allotted for themselves |
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May 21, 2022 06:32
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All I know is each day I wake up and take my Flintstones vitamin. The government requires it, and I'm not one to question them. My girlfriend says I'm less of a square if I don't take it. But I have yet to see solid research from the government on that subject. |
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May 21, 2022 11:59
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early humans skull was thin and brain weak, leading to wholesale personality changes every time a rock bounced off a dome. imagine, you are preparing dinner for your family, and a man walks through your door. it's your husband, but somehow... not. he's dressed like a mobster and demands a cigar. your husband doesn't smoke. now imagine this happening hundreds of times a day. how could society run when it's leaders could be convinced they are rock star crooners after a head injury?
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May 21, 2022 14:40
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"what are some Marble City bigshots like you doing in Bedrock? I thought you didn't like to get your hands dirty." "Normally, Mrs. Rubble, we wouldn't. But extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures, and these are extraordinary times." "Get to the point" "Our mutual friend assured us you would be discrete, can we trust this conversation doesn't go beyond us?" "*phew* Fred said he had some work, but I didn't figure on some city spooks asking for my discretion. I can assure you my team is the most discrete you're going to find in this shithole, provided you can pay for it." "We'll get to that. But first, as you say, the point"... "what is this, some kind of spear head? This is good work. Really good. Who knapped this?" "You've heard of Jonas Rockchipper?" "As in Scion of Rockchipper Zaibatsu? The child protégé? Said to have once knapped a flint so sharp it could skin a sabercat while it slept? Yeah, you could say I've heard of him". "He is missing. Suspected kidnapped. We want you to find him." *whistles* "Why us? Haven't you got street cavemen to clean up this kind of mess? Why come all the way out to Bedrock for something like this?" "Fred said you were the best. And discrete. And we can't use the usual channels for this. We suspect that it's the work of the Fire Clan." "Fire Clan? Why would the Triceratops make a move like this against Marble City? Why risk the ire of the Hadrosaur Council?" "The council is not what it once was. Perhaps the Triceratops senses weakness. Perhaps it has other motives. Maybe an alliance with the Sauropods. Regardless, that is all speculation. What is of immediate concern is getting the young master Rockchipper back, alive." "You said you'd get to pay, so you'd better start getting there. A job like this won't come cheap. Going up against the Fire Clan is not something to take lightly. I'm going to need supplies..." |
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May 21, 2022 15:07
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one day in an abandoned quarry fred finds a mysterious pair of sunglasses. when he puts them on, suddenly a whole different world appears. where there used to be billboard advertising the latest in dinosaur cream or rare steaks, now there are simple bold messages: "IT'S NOT REALLY A LIVING" "YABBA-DABBA-DON'T" "BOWL THE PAIN AWAY" "THE LOYAL ORDER OF WATER BUFFALOES SHALL BE OBEYED"
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May 21, 2022 15:12
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Forget it, Barney. It's Pottery Town. |
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May 21, 2022 17:20
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Bamm-Bamm gets accepted into a special government program. The finest private schools, a personal tutor, medical expenses up to and including trepanation, all paid for. But when it becomes clear that the military intends to weaponize Bamm-Bamm's incredible strength, Barney has a difficult decision to make |
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May 21, 2022 22:37
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Barney: Hey Fred, do you ever think that like, we're the dregs of some whole other society we aren't even aware of? That we're living under smog clouds and somewhere far above us there's a whole different class of people driving flying cars and living in houses on top of giant poles so they don't even have to acknowledge our existence? (Camera pans upwards, then goes into a cosmic zoom-out. Prehistoric Earth shrinks to a speck, followed by the sun, star clusters, entire galaxies, until at last it is revealed that their entire universe exists as a single atom that is part of a giant sandwich, which Yogi Bear immediately eats) |
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May 21, 2022 22:56
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Putting on my stonepunk cosplay outfit, with an extraordinarily large amount of random useless rocks, bones, and twigs slapped on everywhere.
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May 22, 2022 10:25
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Twenty Four posted:Putting on my stonepunk cosplay outfit, with an extraordinarily large amount of random useless rocks, bones, and twigs slapped on everywhere. 
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May 22, 2022 14:42
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May 22, 2022 17:15
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May 22, 2022 17:19
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May 22, 2022 17:30
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"Ann Margrock has caused an entire generation to twitch, threatening to shake them out of their vitamin-induced calm. She has to be stopped, Barn, or she'll threaten everything we've worked to build here. The bowling alley, the Lodge, the bronto-burger drive in. Everything." "Yeah, but what can we do about it, Fred?" "Not us. Bam-Bam. He is the one foretold in the prophecies, with strength beyond his years." |
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May 22, 2022 18:12
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fred is strapped down to the torture chair with barney just about to start in on him as mr slate watches on. suddenly the great gazoo blasts their way in, shooting barney and mr slate and freeing fred. the two slides their way out down a brontosaurus with fred landing straight into a getaway car driven by wilma. as the two make their escape from the madness of bedrock city the camera pulls back and we see fred is still strapped into the chair. realizing that fred's mind has been completely broken by the torture, barney and mr slate declare him a lost cause and head out of the room. the camera focuses back on fred, who is smiling and humming the theme to the flinstones |
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May 22, 2022 18:15
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May 23, 2022 11:38
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the fleshstones, where the surrounding landscape is all flesh-hued and slightly soft and yeilding but with firmer bits deep inside. the mountains, the plains, the boulders, the streets, the buildings, the cars: all of it made of flesh, slightly pulsating. any job involving mining or earthmoving is extremely distressing, not just because of the red liquid that wells up when you make too deep a cut in anything, but also the haunting screams that seem to emanate from nowhere. some say this fleshy landscape is a boschian punishment for mankind's wickedness; others secretly believe it is some nameless transgression done by Fred specifically, explaining his fragile demeanor and thousand-yard stare.
Manifisto fucked around with this message at 03:35 on May 24, 2022
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May 23, 2022 12:39
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Manifisto posted:the fleshstones, where the surrounding landscape is all flesh-hued and slightly soft and yeilding but with firmer bits deep inside. the mountains, the plains, the boulders, the streets, the buildings, the cars: all of it made of flesh, slightly pulsating. any job involving mining or earthmoving is extremely distressing, not just because of the red liquid that wells up when you make too deep a cut in anything, but also the haunting screams that seem to emanate from nowhere. some say this fleshy landscape is a boschian punishment for mankind's wickedness; others secretly believe it is some nameless transgression by Fred specifically done, explaining his fragile demeanor and thousand-yard stare. haunted fleshscape: it's a living. |
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May 24, 2022 03:12
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yes! yes! |
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May 24, 2022 03:20
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gleebster posted:"Ann Margrock has caused an entire generation to twitch, threatening to shake them out of their vitamin-induced calm. She has to be stopped, Barn, or she'll threaten everything we've worked to build here. The bowling alley, the Lodge, the bronto-burger drive in. Everything." |
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May 24, 2022 03:42
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idk, neolithic agriculture sounds p. dystopic to begin with |
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May 24, 2022 23:50
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the scene from fury road when they drive thru the hosed up stilt-people land, but it's hunter-gatherers walking past misshapen, half-starved farm laborers |
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May 24, 2022 23:55
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Fred frowned as the carhop skated over him, depositing his order of bronto-ribs on the window tray. They weren't real brontosaurus, of course. As if he could afford real meat on a construction worker's salary. He had to make due with the lumps of soy and cricket-based protein that were molded into the uncanny valley of rib substitute. At least what they lacked in flavor was made up for in volume, Fred thought, as his vehicle tipped over. |
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May 25, 2022 01:09
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Another day gone by, another evening putting the milk bottles out. Fred glanced over the slab fence and met the gaze of his new neighbour Mr Faultline staring back at him suspiciously. Witness protection let him keep the dino at least. Distracted by the hundredth thought that maybe he shouldn’t have blown the whistle on the Water Buffalos embezzlement scheme, Fred failed to notice the two burly men coming up to his front lawn, hands already obscured inside their leopard skin togas. Dino jumped back inside the house, slamming the door shut. ”Wilma!… WILMAAA—“ Bang |
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May 25, 2022 08:01
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hi I'm bam-bam margera and welcome to rockass |
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May 25, 2022 13:10
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Barney doesn't like to talk about the old days. Back when he was called Barney Building |
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May 25, 2022 13:18
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Barney Rubble in the Bronxassaurus |
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May 25, 2022 14:32
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Suddenly remembered this classic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLHuyLCwNXs |
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May 25, 2022 15:02
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barnold posted:hi I'm bam-bam margera and welcome to rockass google THIS posted:Barney doesn't like to talk about the old days. Back when he was called Barney Building yes...a good thread |
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May 25, 2022 20:39
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| # ? May 8, 2024 23:10 |
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A vehicular murderer picks pieces of victim our from between his toes |
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May 27, 2022 04:54
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