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 Yo, haha, what up ladies. My name is Vinnie, I'm a month young, I got a nest up in the good tree overlooking Starbucks. Maybe like one of youse could wake up and smell the coffee tomorrow, y'know? Real excited to be here. Lots of just, real beautiful lady birds out today. But I want something more. I want someone to build a nest with, you know? I'm traditional like that, haha. |
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May 23, 2022 01:45
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"so I was down at the beach with this seagull chick and I was like, "aaay how you doin?" she didn't say nothin but looked right at me then gobbled down a whole french fry in one gulp. you better bet I cocked my head to one side, lol"
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May 23, 2022 02:05
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Manifisto posted:"so I was down at the beach with this seagull chick and I was like, "aaay how you doin?" she didn't say nothin but looked right at me then gobbled down a whole french fry in one gulp. you better bet I cocked my head to one side, lol"  "Ugh, he keeps watching me eat. I wasn't there with him, I was just sitting outside. Can a gull not get some sun while she eats? I mean, he's kind of cute I guess, but is it a food thing with this guy or what?" |
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May 23, 2022 02:20
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lmaooooo
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May 23, 2022 02:27
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May 23, 2022 03:09
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May 23, 2022 03:11
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holy lol 
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May 23, 2022 03:13
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the little interview room is absolutely caked in poo poo three weeks in, Tammy, a chickadee from Yakima, WA starts building a nest in the back corner of the interview room Drew, a bluejay from Portland, interrupts her post-coital interview once she notices, by angrily shrieking and tearing the nest to shreds inside the nest was the rose given to Tammy the night before |
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May 23, 2022 06:50
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"oh god, I hope I get a chewed-up bug vomited into my mouth. I will literally die if he does not give me a chewed-up bug vomited into my mouth. these other bitches definitely do not deserve a chewed-up bug vomited into their mouths, not when I"m around!"
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May 23, 2022 12:26
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Manifisto posted:"oh god, I hope I get a chewed-up bug vomited into my mouth. I will literally die if he does not give me a chewed-up bug vomited into my mouth. these other bitches definitely do not deserve a chewed-up bug vomited into their mouths, not when I"m around!" lol
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May 23, 2022 13:09
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so one time me and this other dude were competing for the affections of a very attractive young chick. we were both a little surprised when she came out and said it was down to the size of our peckers. I was like "weird, but whatever" and was getting ready to whip it out when the other guy started smashing his face against a dead tree, just loving smashing it as hard as it would go, again and again, making this ungodly racket. as you can image I was like "nah gently caress this" and got right the hell out of there!
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May 23, 2022 21:43
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"what was it like growing up in canada? when did you move here?" "i'm just a canada goose lady i wasn't born there, and it's frankly hosed up of you to assume"
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May 24, 2022 15:49
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thanks
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Jun 19, 2022 11:05
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Heather Papps posted:"what was it like growing up in canada? when did you move here?" |
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Jun 19, 2022 12:05
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Listen up betas! You want to get laid? Follow my method and the women will be flocking to you. The first thing you want to do is find an open bit of ground where there's a lot of humans. Humans drop a lot of food, and that attracts the ladies. Why do the hard work yourself? When you find a group of chicks pecking at the dirt, it's time to move on to step 2, which is: puff up your throat sack and stand up tall and walk real close like around them. Make a coo coo noise, they love that poo poo. Just do that over and over and over until you get close enough to one that's distracted enough to allow you to hop on board and push cloacas together. This two step fool proof method is guaranteed to work 100% of the time, 1 percent of the time. It can't fail! It's a numbers game! Find the lady pigeons, puff throat, coo and strut, gently caress. Eventually. |
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Jun 19, 2022 12:15
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"Are you peacocking?" (lowers feathers slightly) "Uh, no...?" |
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Jun 19, 2022 15:55
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look, I'm not here to make friends. I'm not here to share a french fry. I'm here to flock with the birdchelor, and if any of you pigeons want to do something about it you can find me in my nest
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Jun 19, 2022 17:01
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*quietly eating seeds and minding my own business*
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Jun 19, 2022 17:19
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*Arranges fantasy novels on book case by colour* *adjusts gaming PC LEDs to match the colour of gaming chair accents* *moves anime figures to shelf above tv* *moves mounted katanas from above TV to above bed* *considers the new positions, then returns them to their previous locations.* *fluffs waifu pillow* *sweeps layer of crunchy snack detritus off ground* *straightens wall scroll* "Perfect. Now to wait for the females" *stands in doorway and practices nunchuck moves* |
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Jun 21, 2022 21:07
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Finger Prince posted:*Arranges fantasy novels on book case by colour* lol |
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Jun 21, 2022 22:18
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Finger Prince posted:*Arranges fantasy novels on book case by colour* |
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Jun 21, 2022 22:22
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| # ? May 11, 2024 21:09 |
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Finger Prince posted:*Arranges fantasy novels on book case by colour* Ah yes the elaborate courting rituals of the nerds-of-2d6 |
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Jun 22, 2022 03:33
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