|
|
#
?
May 31, 2022 13:07
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 27, 2024 21:44 |
|
|
Actually, I took over after the Byzantines, moved the empire to my present location, and I'm still here. I keep it in a briefcase so I can always take it with me whenever I travel.
|
|
#
?
May 31, 2022 13:19
|
|
|
An irishman turns to an Italian man and asks "Why is everything you say framed like a question?" The Italian man turns and responds "You talkin' to me?"
|
|
#
?
May 31, 2022 14:38
|
|
|
1922? So much for the eternal city
|
|
#
?
May 31, 2022 19:24
|
|
|
Maybe they'd have lasted longer if they didn't lend that guy their ears and he just kept them. Hard to empire without ears
|
|
#
?
May 31, 2022 19:54
|
|
|
There was a Roman dude called Publius Vedius Pollio who had a giant pool full of moray eels and threw people in them to punish them for trivial matters and then got roasted and owned by Augustus for being a big dumb idiot brute baby quote:Still, Vedius Pollio’s wealth and his friendship to the emperor were not the things for which he was remembered. It was his extreme cruelty that made him “infamous.” He was incredibly cruel towards his slaves, of which he owned a great many. He had an evil habit of throwing his unfortunate slaves alive into a great pool of moray eels that he kept for just that purpose. These eels would rip a man to pieces in a matter of minutes. It was a particularly torturous way to die.
|
|
#
?
May 31, 2022 20:05
|
|
|
lol augustus owned
|
|
#
?
May 31, 2022 20:33
|
|
|
STABASS posted:basically, they were brown, so it doesn't count tons of Romans were pretty brown
|
|
#
?
May 31, 2022 21:25
|
|
|
hot cocoa on the couch posted:lol augustus owned Augustus, Claudius, Antoninus, and Marcus all did and legit seemed like the kind of guys who would roll their eyes at the business of state and be really loving cool to smoke a joint with after all their hangers-on decided to gently caress on off and just wanted to wax poetic about what a goddamn pain in the rear end everyone else was being all the god(s) drat time. Guys like Max Thrax who got to be a later emperor because he ran up to the imperial baggage train and flat out punched a motherfucking general's horse unconscious and was described as being one of the first, and literal, 'god-fathers' of Rome and establishing a crime-syndicate base under him. Plus having the name "Max Thrax"? Not so cool to chill with. (Ok it was Gaius Julius Verus Maximinus "Thrax" ("the Thracian")) but that's hardly LESS intimidating. Big Beef City fucked around with this message at 21:33 on May 31, 2022 |
|
#
?
May 31, 2022 21:26
|
|
|
Augustus probably LESS likely to be cool and hang out with because he was a huge loving weeb lord that just got poo poo done. Claudius was, well, Claudius and if you don't look at him through the rose colored glasses of "I, Claudius" which is really, really hard to do, was still pretty loving upstanding. Took a good solid look around and said "...well holy poo poo someone needs to do this better or this whole 'Julian-Claudian' thing isn't going to mean much." All while doing it rather logically and at the pinnacle of one of the highest peaks of Roman power when even he realized 'if I don't, I'm not sure these morons are gonna. This whole thing is rotten inside out and so is my whole brain-hosed family. Alright." Anoninus is the one you've never heard of and ruled over Pax Romana for like 120+ years because you got a stable Emperor ALSO at another peak of Roman privilege and, unlike others, lived for goddamn ever. Seriously this guy came into power at an absolute up-swell of the world's super power and then just guided that ship, doing mostly nothing except reforming civic tax laws and NOT loving poo poo UP for like 40 years. Do you have any idea how long 40 years is in a time like that? ...Well it's really loving long. And he presided over almost all of it in peace, barring border skirmishes and Jewish wars, but mostly just flopping the fat belly of the Roman Empire upon the entire rest of the Western World at the time. He did ok. He was a patron of the arts, sciences, and literature on top of it. To TOP that off, his (adopted) son was Marcus Aurelius. Whom you may be familiar with. Yes that Marcus Aurelius. The 'Peace and Enlightenment Emperor', who wrote an entire loving life long journal about how to handle diplomatic sessions with your enemies because they, actually, are just dudes like you, and also how much joy it gave him to tuck his own kids in at night and how sad it will be once the all encompassing doors of death close in upon the chamber of his life and shut him out of that joy. You should read that some time, you're goons after all, you'd enjoy "The Meditations" by him. It's a wild ride.
|
|
#
?
May 31, 2022 21:50
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 27, 2024 21:44 |
|
|
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJJPce-e_zU
|
|
#
?
May 31, 2022 22:44
|
|
