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Upon opening my Hungryman Salisbury Steak dinner I noticed there was an extra compartment. I mean, there's the delicious meat product, my tots, the mash, congealed corn, my apple crisp with raspberry sauce and right next to it another 6th compartment. When I look into the compartment it seems to look back at me. I am concerned because I feel the overwhelming urge to lure people into the compartment. To feed them to the compartment. Trying to decide if I should call up Swansons or just roll with this? Thoughts?? |
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Jun 8, 2022 05:27
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| # ? May 14, 2024 03:19 |
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I, uh, put a moth in there and I think my potatoes said something in Latin....
https://giant.gfycat.com/SizzlingThickIbis.mp4 |
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Jun 8, 2022 05:28
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Whole thing's sorta vibrating around the table now. I sense a terrible dread but I really want to bring Greg from next door over to see this. Like, I feel like I need Greg to see this. brb https://giant.gfycat.com/SizzlingThickIbis.mp4 |
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Jun 8, 2022 05:31
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Okay, so no more Greg. But...um...plus side: we now have A LOT of apple crisp. Like, too much.
https://giant.gfycat.com/SizzlingThickIbis.mp4 |
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Jun 8, 2022 05:35
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Okay, now I'm eating the apple crisp. It tastes like ghosts. I really don't like it but the compartment really seems to want me to consume it's bounty. https://giant.gfycat.com/SizzlingThickIbis.mp4 |
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Jun 8, 2022 05:38
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The corn keeps calling me corpulent while I eat this. I really think next time I'm gonna get one of those Lean Cuisines.
https://giant.gfycat.com/SizzlingThickIbis.mp4 |
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Jun 8, 2022 05:43
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It's your portal back into the Matrix |
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Jun 8, 2022 05:45
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Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:It's your portal back into the Matrix I'm worried we're beyond joking now, friend. I called Swansons and after I explained the situation they said they'd send a priest over immediately. I left them a good review on google. BRB gonna go outside and wait for the priest. https://giant.gfycat.com/SizzlingThickIbis.mp4 |
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Jun 8, 2022 05:48
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Great. Now the priest is in my dining room. His eyes are all white and he's been chanting for loving ever now. I tried to offer him a ginger ale but I can't understand a loving word of what he's saying. Not really sure how long this is supposed to take. https://giant.gfycat.com/SizzlingThickIbis.mp4 |
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Jun 8, 2022 05:56
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Literally A Person posted:I'm worried we're beyond joking now, friend. We will never be beyond joking. If you're not committed to administering a fun-filled "gently caress you!" to your final fan-fare fueled fate with a smile and a quip then let this be your wake up call. Don't believe fate weaves threads of farcical fire? You're in one! |
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Jun 8, 2022 05:59
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do you have any old-timey diet pills you can put in the compartment? it might be fun idk
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Jun 8, 2022 13:21
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that’s where the motor oil goes, op. just be careful not to fall in!!
Gluehead posted:i met snow at a restaurant once and i was like 'man, informer is a really good song!' and he just looked up from the bowl of french onion soup he was eating, mouthed the words 'gently caress off' and then he gave me the finger twice with boths hands, then crossed the two fingers to make a cross and aimed it at me |
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Jun 8, 2022 14:30
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I think I may know your problem OP. my supermarket at least keeps the "Swȧ̶̳n̷͖̉s̸̩̺̱̫͈̏̈̓͊ỏ̷̰̜̺͕̋̈n̵̘̖͉͕̓̌s̶̞̼̘̍͑͑̎̂͊͌̔̈̑͝" brand products right next to the "Swansons" brand products and if you ask me it's just a bit confusing! I like their slogan though, "In his house at Rl'yeh dead Cthulhu waits hungry, yet He shall rise and his meals choke the Earth." lot of companies say they care about the environment but very few of them are actually doing something about it!
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Jun 8, 2022 14:37
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Welp, preist's in the nuthouse. Came down from bed this morning and there he was slumped in a corner nearly catatonic repeating the word "evil" over and over again. 
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Jun 8, 2022 14:42
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I really just want to finish my dinner but now everytime I approach the Hungryman I start laughing uncontrollably. Gonna maybe try calling an electrician or something??? |
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Jun 8, 2022 15:14
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Dust off the carton it came in to see whether it really says Hungry-for-Man. Gotta watch out for the knockoff brands. |
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Jun 8, 2022 15:28
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Buttchocks posted:Dust off the carton it came in to see whether it really says Hungry-for-Man. Gotta watch out for the knockoff brands. It seems legit. When I called Swanson last night they asked for the PLU and everything checked out. They were saying that something about their industrial process just every now and then turns out a dud. The weird part is when I asked if they wanted me to send it back in for my refund they were adamant that I don't. I don't know. I think I might just invite over some friends, have a couple beers, and just cool down. It seems like I've stopped bleeding from my eyes for a minute so I may as well take advantage of it! |
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Jun 8, 2022 15:33
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Just fish around in there for a sec with a Dunkaroo and eat whatever you come up with. If that doesn't work try a Handi-Snacks cracker |
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Jun 8, 2022 16:11
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google THIS posted:Just fish around in there for a sec with a Dunkaroo and eat whatever you come up with. If that doesn't work try a Handi-Snacks cracker I think I hosed up. I didn't have any dunkaroos or handi-snacks so I started poking around in there with a stick style pretzel. This thing is seeming incredibly pissed off now. I mean, they were good pretzels. I didn't buy the store brand ones or anything. I'm starting to think that I maybe should have just cooked last night... |
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Jun 8, 2022 16:56
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the answer is right there. it's the embodiment of a hungry man. you need to feed it, quickly
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Jun 8, 2022 17:01
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Simsmagic posted:the answer is right there. it's the embodiment of a hungry man. you need to feed it, quickly Yeah, the mash potatoes keeps saying this in some dead language that I have been able to understand ever since I ate that apple crisp. Luckily got some buds on the way with some brews and I plan on just relaxing some. Taking it easy. It's been a long night that is turning into an even longer day |
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Jun 8, 2022 18:33
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take the hungryman to a baseball game. hungrymans love baseball |
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Jun 8, 2022 20:46
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God damnit. My friends are a cult now and they fed Doug to the 6th compartment. They're eating the apple crisp. They don't seem to realize they are acting strange but when I offered Brett some chips and salsa he gave a keening screech that caused a couple windows to break and now my faucet is running hot and cold vinegar. I tried to tell the guys that I'm getting rid of this thing and then they started chanting like that priest I'm pretty sure they're planning on going into town to lure people back here. Great. Now I have to clean up the house for company. |
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Jun 8, 2022 21:14
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I recommend making a recording of the chanting, add some drum & bass, maybe some synth chords. bonus cred if you do it on old school reel-to-reel tape. Then add it to that Dune sardaukar meme and post it on twitter. This will solve all of your problems. |
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Jun 8, 2022 21:37
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weird, the extra food compartment has divided or something and now it's two separate identical compartments. in unrelated news the building's rodent problem has suddenly and rather mysteriously cleared up, what a relief!
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Jun 8, 2022 23:28
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I was right. They brought back some drunk guy I think they found in an alley. I offered him a cup of coffee and a sandwich but when I got back in the living room he was standing in the middle of a big circle that Brett had drawn on the ground with salt. Now they're all holding ornate daggers for some reason and the drunk guy is chanting so loud and fast I think he's hyperventilating. Oh yeah, they're stabbing him. Probably gonna cram him in that 6th compartment. |
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Jun 9, 2022 00:22
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Cults have lots of money, right? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad having one in your apartment. |
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Jun 9, 2022 00:31
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Buttchocks posted:Cults have lots of money, right? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad having one in your apartment. So far they've used up all my salt and got a ton of blood all over the carpet. And the incessant talking of the mash potatoes is just really pushing me over the edge. It keeps telling me to dispense with the flesh and join it in a dimension that will redefine what hell is. I honestly don't see the appeal. God, and now my loving eyes are bleeding again. No. gently caress having an ancient death cult in your house. It loving sucks. I hate it. |
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Jun 9, 2022 00:35
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Jesus Christ. They fed the apple crisp to the whole town and now everyone is following the Hungryman down a stone staircase that leads deep into the earth. This blows. They made me put on this really unflattering robe with a big hood and now I have huge boils ony face. gently caress this, man. |
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Jun 9, 2022 19:53
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hey op, i had this problem before. make sure you poke holes in the sixth compartment before microwaving |
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Jun 9, 2022 21:06
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Have you been baptized op? It's printed on the box that only the pure can handle His most holy of foods |
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Jun 9, 2022 21:27
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| # ? May 14, 2024 03:19 |
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your friend sk posted:hey op, i had this problem before. make sure you poke holes in the sixth compartment before microwaving Simsmagic posted:Have you been baptized op? It's printed on the box that only the pure can handle His most holy of foods Where the hell were you goons two days ago??? 
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Jun 9, 2022 21:47
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