|
That’s right, you heard me. Hudson motherfucking Hawk. You’ve been told that Hudson Hawk is an infamously terrible film. You’ve been lied to. Well, not exactly. Its probably all of the things you’ve heard. A Bruce Willis vanity project that doesn’t make a ton of sense and just writes in excuses for him to sing just because he wants to? Yeah, its that. But is Bruce Willis singing really that bad a thing? What they don’t tell you is that Hudson Hawk is utterly insane. Its Willis’ id unleashed into something completely absurd combined with as many random rear end elements as you can imagine. The Catholic Church!  The CIA!  Capitalism!  A guy on a donkey!  And pokey!  I didn’t even mention the Mario Brothers Mob or Leonardo Da Vinci. Hudson Hawk is unmistakably a mess but its a mess of really crazy ideas and tones. The thing that I think sets it apart from the vanity project mess you think it is is that Bruce Willis made this movie with Michael Lehmann and Daniel Waters, who a couple of years earlier made the cult classic Heathers. Now Hudson Hawk isn’t Heathers but its absolutely got some of the same DNA in it. Absurd scenarios treated seriously, larger than life characters, tons of one liners. Hudson Hawk goes further on all this stuff. With tons of slapstick and sound affects its basically part cartoon. But that’s also probably what always made me like it and if nothing else its clear that everyone involved kind of knows what they’re making and seems like they’re having a good time with it. If there’s one reason to watch this movie its for Sandra Bernhard and Richard E. Grant’s main villains. And I say “main” because there’s like 5 layers of villains in this mess of a film. But at the center of it all are Minnerva and Darwin. “If Da Vinci was alive today, he'd be eating microwave sushi, naked, in the back of a Cadillac with the both of us.” “History, tradition, culture... are not concepts! These are trophies I keep in my den as paperweights! The chaos we will cause with this machine will be our final masterpiece!” "I'll kill your friends, your family, and the bitch you took to the prom!"  Look, you probably don’t know me. I’m not the most active CineD poster and the truth is my tastes steer wide of where most seem to go around here. I don’t tend to recommend films because I don’t really think I have anything especially interesting or satisfying to contribute. But Hudson Hawk is a film I’ve loved my whole life that I’ve never met a single person who felt the same. And I could chalk that up to me just being weird, but I dunno. In a place and time that seems to really enjoy revisiting old lampooned films and see the brilliance or merit in them Hudson Hawk feels like a film that its due for a second look. I don’t think this is a piece of fine art, but I do think its a really fun and weird ride that has a lot more going for it than its reputation suggests. Hitchcock, Davinci, CIA, the mob, oldies, the Vatican, car chases, conspiracies, explosions, doggies, alchemy, WORLD DOMINATION! This film truly has it all. Probably to its detriment. There’s an audience for every crazy, weird, ambitious film so why not Bruce Willis’ and the Heathers’ team’s whacked out tapestry of random? That’s it, that’s all I got. If you do watch this movie I hope you enjoy it. I’m not promising you the world, but I promise its something pretty unique. And it is currently streaming for free in the US on TubiTV and Pluto. And if you don’t enjoy it? I dunno. I’m sorry. But also I’ll still always love it and probably watch it a third time in the last week. Nothing you can do to stop me. 
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2022 15:03
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 5, 2024 06:44 |
|
|
I finally saw this last year based on my neighbor’s recommendation, and everything you said is spot-on. Hudson Hawk is not a great movie, but it absolutely does not deserve its reputation as one of the “worst movies ever made.” The moment when the movie crystallized for me was during the chase scene when Willis is speeding down the highway on a hospital gurney. He passes through a tollbooth and goes through the trouble of flipping a quarter into the basket. It’s a dopey comedy, and it’s worst sin is being kind of disjointed.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2022 16:59
|
|
|
Yeah I think it probably loses a lot of people up to that point because the crazy comedy aspect of it doesn’t come out right away. For the first part is Bruce mugging and Wyatt seems like just a kind of cheesy quasi noir thing and vanity thing. And you might check out early. But then things really start go off the rails and that crazy gurney car chase is really the start of it. And once that happens the film just never goes back on the tracks and you just have to hang on and try and enjoy the ride. But it seems to kind of intentionally trick its audience into thinking it’s a different kind of film before that. The film people expect going in. So it was probably dumb of them to play it that way because people probably jump off when their expectations are confirmed. But oh boy, it becomes something else and you know what it is when it happens.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2022 17:38
|
|
|
Hopefully I get around to this early enough to actually participate in discussion
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2022 22:43
|
|
|
or would you rather be a fish?
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2022 22:54
|
|
|
WHY?
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2022 08:24
|
|
|
I've definitely seen better, and there's quite a lot in here that didn't age well... ...but I've also seen much worse. The disjointed critiques are on the ball, though.
|
|
#
?
Jul 4, 2022 13:59
|
|
|
The running joke of Hawk being unable to get a cappuccino always makes me laugh and also really dates the film given there's coffee shops on every street corner now
|
|
#
?
Jul 4, 2022 15:13
|
|
|
Purple Monkey posted:The running joke of Hawk being unable to get a cappuccino always makes me laugh and also really dates the film given there's coffee shops on every street corner now Just pretend Hawk is an espresso snob who will absolutely not abide by that Starbucks poo poo. (good for him!)
|
|
#
?
Jul 5, 2022 01:11
|
|
|
Gatto Grigio posted:Just pretend Hawk is an espresso snob who will absolutely not abide by that Starbucks poo poo. And yet Nescafé is evidently just fine! Like people say, the movie's all over the place.
|
|
#
?
Jul 5, 2022 04:01
|
|
|
This movie is essentially the closest thing to a tonally accurate live action Lupin III movie Hollywood will ever produce, and I can’t hate it for that reason alone.
|
|
|
#
?
Jul 7, 2022 20:36
|
|
|
I saw this when it came out and before it had any big reputation and rather liked it. At the time I was thinking it somehow heralded Bruce Willis's return to comedy, just like back on Moonlighting, which sadly it failed to do. I'm not sure the film itself is a failure, but it was definitely a mis-step for his career and severely mis-marketed (probably as a result of how he was known when it was produced). I also recall when one of my teachers had clipped some magazine ads to talk about how images can be used to convey information without language, and she unwittingly used it as an example: "Here's this movie, Catch the Hawk, that you can tell is some sort of detective or dark thriller movie".
|
|
#
?
Jul 9, 2022 16:26
|
|
|
I still get a kick out of James Coburn’s candy themed henchmen. “Read my lips: steak burger!”
|
|
#
?
Jul 9, 2022 20:10
|
|
|
Much like Heaven's Gate, this movie took a big loving swing and didn't exactly connect, but I love it for existing. It's not incompetently made, it just exists on an extremely wack wavelength that most people aren't fully tuned into. The casting is absolutely wonderful.
|
|
#
?
Jul 12, 2022 23:16
|
|
|
Rewatched it today and enjoyed it again lol
|
|
#
?
Jul 13, 2022 05:40
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 5, 2024 06:44 |
|
|
I first watched Hudson Hawk when I was 11 years old and in hindsight that was the perfect age for this movie: I loved the wacky characters, setpieces and thought Bruce Willis was the coolest actor. It's been forever since I watched Hudson Hawk, afraid that my fond memories are ruined.
|
|
#
?
Jul 15, 2022 21:10
|
|