This thread is a job interview

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Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

Nosfereefer posted:

my greatest weakness is probably bullets or explosions. to be honest, i'm not really great at getting stabbed either

Thats uhh a touch concerning given you have applied for the role of <checks notes> Senior Cyber Safety Shaman here at BYOB™ Enterprises inc. corp.

On to the question. As you would be well aware, posting in BYOB can be an extremely high risk endeavour, with many overt dangers to our users' physical, spiritual and even sexual health. Many great goons have been lost in the great posting battle over time!

What do you see as the biggest danger and how would you intend to mitigate it as Senior Cyber Safety Shaman?

_{Thanks to Heather Papps for sweet sig, click for more hot lady action}

_{sigs by luvcow and Khanstant.

Click on Spoonville for a neat surprise}

_{(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ #YesNutNovember - add this to your sig if you love and support BYOB's own nut}

# ? Jul 14, 2022 22:54

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# ? May 8, 2024 16:04

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

Chewbecca posted:

Thats uhh a touch concerning given you have applied for the role of <checks notes> Senior Cyber Safety Shaman here at BYOB™ Enterprises inc. corp.

On to the question. As you would be well aware, posting in BYOB can be an extremely high risk endeavour, with many overt dangers to our users' physical, spiritual and even sexual health. Many great goons have been lost in the great posting battle over time!

What do you see as the biggest danger and how would you intend to mitigate it as Senior Cyber Safety Shaman?

the biggest danger is probably the literal devil from hell that is currently sitting on the servers, playing a fiddle. if i was SCSS, i would simply strike a bargain w/ him

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jul 14, 2022 22:59

Barking Gecko: Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."

# ? Jul 15, 2022 00:05

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

Barking Gecko posted:

As Chief Executive, Sponsorship and Brand Endorsement here at BYOB™ Enterprises inc. corp. you would be responsible for solidifying current and financial partnerships with brand entities for mutual benefit.

My question to you, monsieur gecko, is which brands and corporate entititties would be most mutually bebeficial for BYOB™ Enterprises inc. corp. to partner with, both for financial benefit and in terms of building the "BYOBrand©"?

# ? Jul 15, 2022 00:30

Heather Papps: hello friend

_{did... did i get it?}

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Jul 15, 2022 00:33

Barking Gecko: Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."

Chewbecca posted:

As Chief Executive, Sponsorship and Brand Endorsement here at BYOB™ Enterprises inc. corp. you would be responsible for solidifying current and financial partnerships with brand entities for mutual benefit.

My question to you, monsieur gecko, is which brands and corporate entititties would be most mutually bebeficial for BYOB™ Enterprises inc. corp. to partner with, both for financial benefit and in terms of building the "BYOBrand©"?

I believe it would be most beneficial to partner with

and

Partnering with these entities would enable BYOB Enterprises to not only survive, but to thrive. There would be no need to worry about financial benefits or the "BYOBrand©"

# ? Jul 15, 2022 02:52

Allie

Heather Papps posted:

itt

# ? Jul 16, 2022 12:29

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

Milde posted:

The role of Senior Metrics Orchestrator here at BYOB™ Enterprises inc. corp. is responsible for mining our data and determining the operational efficiency of our organisation. Earnings per share, margins, efficiency ratios, liquidity ratios, leverage ratios, and rates of return are examples of metrics you will be measuring, aggressively, seductively, and without prejudice.

To that end, my question for you is two pronged:

1) as Senior Metrics Orchestrator here at BYOB™ Enterprises inc. corp. what metric do you think demonstrates the highest impact to our core business, and bonus question,
2) which of the funny numbers do you think best represents that?

<leans in attentively with tented fingers>

# ? Jul 16, 2022 13:23

Allie

1) poster satisfaction metrics will inform all of our decisions. "are you satisfied?" is my middle name and you can take that to the bank and cash it. and then you can use that cash to make it your middle name too.
2) using a complex set of sentiment analysis techniques, poster retention rates, and thread churn data, i predict we should be able to achieve 69 out of 420 on the poster satisfaction scale by...2049.

# ? Jul 16, 2022 14:51

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# ? May 8, 2024 16:04

nut

Chewbecca posted:

Thank you for your interest in the part time role of Senior Strategist, within our Future Technologies division here at BYOB� Enterprises inc. corp.

Our users and customer base have long used desktop computers ("turn on youre monitor�"), and as you may know we have more recently expanded into even smaller, handheld devices to access posts and threads - "Posting, in the palm of your paw!�"

What do you think will be the 'next big technology' in terms of sharing BYOB� Enterprises inc. corp. content with the world, in order to in increase our market share of the valuable "people who read threads posts and threads on internet forums" cohort.

should I be hired I will immediately launch operation ink master season 6 available now on paramount+. as senior strategist, I will strategically and physically force dave Navarro (a senior)to tattoo funny byob posts onto local community seniors (head or face to account for historical modesty in garb). I will then send these seniors on chores which will require long occupation of the town square during which other humans will see the tattoos and laugh

# ? Jul 16, 2022 14:54

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > This thread is a job interview

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