How to roast whole pig in a hole in the ground?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Goons with Spoons > How to roast whole pig in a hole in the ground?

Woodpile: Mar 30, 2013

# ? Jul 23, 2022 23:30

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 23:33

Discendo Vox: Mar 21, 2013; We don't need to have that dialogue because it's obvious, trivial, and has already been had a thousand times.

I usually start in on its weight, then work back to its level of education and childhood class status while looking for particular insecurities I can target.

# ? Jul 24, 2022 00:07

Woodpile: Mar 30, 2013

Discendo Vox posted:

I usually start in on its weight, then work back to its level of education and childhood class status while looking for particular insecurities I can target.

Aren't you afraid of rounds going off? I mean, how deep/wide a hole and do I line it with bricks? Don't want a guest struck by a stray round. Safety first.

# ? Jul 24, 2022 01:24

Rationale: May 17, 2005; America runs on in'

Dig a hole. Maybe 3� is minimum. You�ll have a lot of coals, so don�t be lazy about the hole. If the hole is too shallow or the fire is too small the pig won�t cook and everyone will get parasites.

You can get prepared pigs cheap enough that I don�t advise buying a live one and doing it yourself. You�re gonna lose hours and it�s nasty work.

Rub the whole thing with salt and spices. I generally don�t put anything where the guts were. I like to wrap them in chicken wire and then make a couple handles so I can yank that bitch out of a hot hole without falling in. Then I wrap the whole mess in burlap because people are cowards.

Build a big fire in your hole. Raging inferno with whole rear end logs. Then throw a bunch of rocks in there. They keep the hole hot after the coals are all dead. Then you need a vegetative buffer around your delicious pork to keep the fire from ruining it or the dirt from touching it. I like sweetcorn stalks for this. So fire, rocks, veg, pig, veg, and then cover it up. This is the real voodoo of the whole operation because if you seal it too tight the fire will go out and if you don�t seal it well enough your pork will burn and you really have no way of knowing until you�ve ruined a few.

It�s really much easier with a smoker and also a cut up hog because the whole thing doesn�t all finish at the same time the loving nerve of people to complain about overdone ribs from a whole hog

# ? Jul 24, 2022 19:52

Elephanthead: Sep 11, 2008; Toilet Rascal

Renting or borrowing a smoker trailer will save you a lot of stress especially if you are using this to feed a bunch of hungry drunks.

# ? Jul 25, 2022 22:50

Woodpile: Mar 30, 2013

Elephanthead posted:

Renting or borrowing a smoker trailer will save you a lot of stress especially if you are using this to feed a bunch of hungry drunks.

You a lazy fucker. I want to dig the hole. I want to make the fire. I AM FEEDING A BUNCH OF HUNGRY DRUNKS EVEN IF IT'S A PARTY OF ONE! I'll also be high.

# ? Jul 27, 2022 23:20

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 23:33

Woodpile: Mar 30, 2013

Rationale posted:

Dig a hole. Maybe 3� is minimum. You�ll have a lot of coals, so don�t be lazy about the hole. If the hole is too shallow or the fire is too small the pig won�t cook and everyone will get parasites.

You can get prepared pigs cheap enough that I don�t advise buying a live one and doing it yourself. You�re gonna lose hours and it�s nasty work.

Rub the whole thing with salt and spices. I generally don�t put anything where the guts were. I like to wrap them in chicken wire and then make a couple handles so I can yank that bitch out of a hot hole without falling in. Then I wrap the whole mess in burlap because people are cowards.

Build a big fire in your hole. Raging inferno with whole rear end logs. Then throw a bunch of rocks in there. They keep the hole hot after the coals are all dead. Then you need a vegetative buffer around your delicious pork to keep the fire from ruining it or the dirt from touching it. I like sweetcorn stalks for this. So fire, rocks, veg, pig, veg, and then cover it up. This is the real voodoo of the whole operation because if you seal it too tight the fire will go out and if you don�t seal it well enough your pork will burn and you really have no way of knowing until you�ve ruined a few.

It�s really much easier with a smoker and also a cut up hog because the whole thing doesn�t all finish at the same time the loving nerve of people to complain about overdone ribs from a whole hog

Easy-button mother fuckers all up in this thread.

(but real thanks for this helpful info)

# ? Jul 27, 2022 23:22

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Goons with Spoons > How to roast whole pig in a hole in the ground?