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Twenty Four posted:"No-Fail Quests"... Don't tell me what I I would think you you aim to fail then you've set yourself impossibly to succceed. But I'll give you the first run on taking an AI client. Your quest reads, "You must retrieve a bottle of rum from the local tavern. The tavern keeper will not give it to you unless you can prove that you are worthy. To do this, you must first complete a series of tasks for him. First, you must collect 10 pieces of driftwood from the beach. Then, you must defeat 3 pirates in a duel. Lastly, you must find and return the tavern keeper's lost cat. Once you have completed all of these tasks, the tavern keeper will give you the rum." It sorta seems like the tavern keeper doesn't like selling drinks. Good luck adventurer. (And thanks, I got the idea while donating plasma and hoped it'd be entertaining.) https://i.imgur.com/1qBoiAi.mp4
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Aug 28, 2022 02:58
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nesamdoom posted:I would think you you aim to fail then you've set yourself impossibly to succceed. But I'll give you the first run on taking an AI client. I wander out to the beach and while searching for driftwood, I encounter some pirates and defeat all of them in a duel. Their duel of choice was "rum drinking contest" and being a heavy drinker, I easily drank them all under the table. After they passed out, I grabbed the remaining rum and finished picking up the driftwood, but got a bit carried away after drinking all that rum and realizing there was nothing really stopping me from picking up more then 10 of anything, driftwood included, unlike some sort of video game. I use the extra wood to fashion a crate for the tavern keeper's cat for transportation. I find a cat, but, not really sure if it's the right cat, there wasn't really much to go on description or location wise there, didn't have much to go on there tavern guy, but, eh, it's a cat, whatever! I turn in the wood and the cat-in-a-crate to the tavern keeper, hoping said cat is good enough, and bolster my supply of rum from what he gives me before telling him "you know those pirates out there are just giving this poo poo away if you challenge them to a drinking contest?"
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Aug 28, 2022 03:32
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Twenty Four posted:I wander out to the beach and while searching for driftwood, I encounter some pirates and defeat all of them in a duel. Their duel of choice was "rum drinking contest" and being a heavy drinker, I easily drank them all under the table. I would think the drunkeness you achieved to be a good enough reason to have spent the day on the beach with pirates and finding a cat, but as far as the quest goes you did quite well. And which cat matters little once you've given it to the tavern keeper it's theirs. Reward time comes to the base reward of Extra-longsword that's just a little too big for any normal person to wield. It's said that this sword was once wielded by a great hero, but the weight of the weapon eventually drove him mad. A solid completion allows me to also give you Ring of comic relief: Whenever the wearer tells a joke, all creatures within earshot must be wise or laugh uncontrollably for 1 minute. https://i.imgur.com/1qBoiAi.mp4
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Aug 28, 2022 03:51
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nesamdoom posted:Your quest reads, "My family is coming over in 2 days and I want to make them my secret recipe pie, unfortunately I need a few more ingredients to make it. I need you to get me some flour, a couple of eggs, some spiderlegs, half a dozen beetle husks and a cup of sugar. Oh this cake is going to be amazing! You can have a piece if you'd like." dope. my basement is full of spider legs and beetle husks, I'll steal the flour and sugar from work tomorrow when I'm in, I just need to buy a carton of eggs and you'll be ready to cook for your family! |
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Aug 28, 2022 04:42
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nesamdoom posted:And one for you. I rounded up the local spider population and befriended them, knowing I meeded their skills in my quest. The spiders created sticky lassoos and corrals throughout the fields, which I used to cajole all the horses back to your home. The spiders deter the predators with their pincers and being so small, the horses didnt see them coming to get spooked! As an added bonus your horses now have bridles made of the finest woven spider silk and look the part for winning any upcoming dressage events!
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Aug 28, 2022 11:51
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rear end-penny posted:dope. my basement is full of spider legs and beetle husks, I'll steal the flour and sugar from work tomorrow when I'm in, I just need to buy a carton of eggs and you'll be ready to cook for your family! Great work adventurer. Your reward for this job is the base item provided by the client, a magical pie tin that produces pies that are always filled with bugs. Also, for your willingness to complete the quest in the manner you have planned I give you this bonus Pin of the Hooded Robin: A small pinnable storage device that only holds stolen goods and that will only retrieve items when they are given with no expectation of recompense. Weight reduction: zero Storage space: Scales larger by value of items within. Chewbecca posted:I rounded up the local spider population and befriended them, knowing I meeded their skills in my quest. The spiders created sticky lassoos and corrals throughout the fields, which I used to cajole all the horses back to your home. The spiders deter the predators with their pincers and being so small, the horses didnt see them coming to get spooked! I knew these lands were a good place to open my business and this is one more example of how amazing I am... err... uh, Good work adventurer, a fine job indeed! As reward for proving https://i.imgur.com/1qBoiAi.mp4
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Aug 28, 2022 12:51
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nesamdoom posted:I would think the drunkeness you achieved to be a good enough reason to have spent the day on the beach with pirates and finding a cat, but as far as the quest goes you did quite well. And which cat matters little once you've given it to the tavern keeper it's theirs. Reward time comes to the base reward of Extra-longsword that's just a little too big for any normal person to wield. It's said that this sword was once wielded by a great hero, but the weight of the weapon eventually drove him mad. A solid completion allows me to also give you Ring of comic relief: Whenever the wearer tells a joke, all creatures within earshot must be wise or laugh uncontrollably for 1 minute. 
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Aug 29, 2022 00:26
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nesamdoom posted:
first i stole someone’s credit card and had my name legally changed to theirs so I could use it. then i went to the tropical keyes, where a plethora of coconuts awaited me. however i had developed concerns of the ethical… concerns presented by doing business with your friend. so i instead sold them to underground mole men who being greatly disadvantaged by living under the earth, could really use the sweet bounty of coconut more. i sleep in a floatation tank now so the gun that only works underwater can defend against reprisals
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Aug 29, 2022 01:29
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I won't say who but someone's coconut wife is judging what happens here pretty harshly
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Aug 29, 2022 03:01
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baka fwocka fwame posted:first i stole someone’s credit card and had my name legally changed to theirs so I could use it. then i went to the tropical keyes, where a plethora of coconuts awaited me. however i had developed concerns of the ethical… concerns presented by doing business with your friend. so i instead sold them to underground mole men who being greatly disadvantaged by living under the earth, could really use the sweet bounty of coconut more. i sleep in a floatation tank now so the gun that only works underwater can defend against reprisals You did get the coconuts and you did give them to someone, which is getting marked down as another successful quest completion. As a base reward I was going to give you 5 XPs(I know it's a terribly outdated system, but they are in the storage room), but I'll bump it up to 25 XP keyes. Also, I found this weird little card that shows the owners face by the style and writing changes based on need. I'm gonna throw that in so in the future you can avoid the process of name changing. Paperwork is silly, that's why I just put a check on the completed box and we all get paid. https://i.imgur.com/1qBoiAi.mp4
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Aug 29, 2022 03:13
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quest me bro! |
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Aug 29, 2022 04:13
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The end of summer approaches and my students return this week. A quest will fulfill my purpose. |
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Aug 29, 2022 07:24
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Abugadu posted:quest me bro! Enthusiasm! Your quest reads,"Track down a mischievous leprechaun who has been causing trouble in the kingdom. Rumor has it that he has been hiding out in the forest, so that's where you'll need to start your search. Be warned, the leprechaun is a crafty one and he won't be easy to find. But if you're lucky enough to catch him, you just might be able to convince him to give up his pot of gold." Xamboni posted:The end of summer approaches and my students return this week. A quest will fulfill my purpose. I wouldn't trust them to 'pay handsomely', but I'll get you some sort of reward anyways. Your quest reads, "I need someone to retrieve a magical book for me from a wizards library. This book is essential for a very important potion I am working on, and it's the only one of its kind in the world. I am willing to pay handsomely for its safe return. The book is likely to be well-guarded, so you will need to be brave and resourceful. If you succeed, the rewards will be great!" Good luck adventurers! https://i.imgur.com/1qBoiAi.mp4
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Aug 29, 2022 12:19
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nesamdoom posted:Your quest reads,"Track down a mischievous leprechaun who has been causing trouble in the kingdom. Rumor has it that he has been hiding out in the forest, so that's where you'll need to start your search. Be warned, the leprechaun is a crafty one and he won't be easy to find. But if you're lucky enough to catch him, you just might be able to convince him to give up his pot of gold." The tavern was a little more lively than usual, as the music turned from jigs to reels. I shifted two coins in my hand as I approached the bar, catching the eye of the bartender, a gammon-faced gent wearing an ancient leather vest, who seemed tired, but was still putting on the veneer of hospitality. "I need a pint," I announced, placing one of the coins on the bar with a firm clack. "And information," I intoned a bit softer as the barman neared, placing the other coin down next to it. He raised an eyebrow, but wordlessly took both coins, grabbed a glass, and began to fill it. The woman next to me gave a quizzical look, and then began to dig through her purse for her Amex card to pay for her mai tai. "What is it ye be lookin' for, boy-o?" the bartender said as he placed the pint in front of me and leaned in conspiratorially. I glanced over at my neighbor's drink, and back at the bartender with a hopeful smile and mildly pleading eyebrows. It took him a second, and his lips went thin, but he thankfully caught the signal, and gave me a small umbrella and crazy straw for my ale with the lightest of sighs. "I was told," I began, shifting the tiny umbrella to the 'up' position with dramatic flair, "that you were the man to ask about how to go about finding a leprechaun." His eyes narrowed. "Were ya now?" he replied coolly. He gave me the once over, but I could already tell his interest was piqued. "Not much to it, really, into the forest you go, find the end of the rainbow, bob's yer uncle." He began to casually wipe down a glass, but stayed close by, anticipating the response. "That's not why I'm here, good sir. I was told that you and some of your compatriots had some experience in this area, and I'm here to glean a little of your wisdom. Perhaps save myself a bit of time and trouble. I was told that you were the expert, and would appreciate any and all advice you could give," I added, piling on the compliments and charm. He gave a small, almost rueful chortle. "Was," he growled. "A long time ago. We were kids. Didn't know what we were getting into. The tales and stories didn't warn us about the treachery, the riddles, the wagers... we paid a heavy price for that wisdom. And all for naught." He deftly grabbed my neighbor's Amex card and slid it into the machine, staring at it as if it were a portal into the past. "What were you after?" I said softly, almost whispering. His thousand-yard stare didn't move from the card reader. "His lucky charms," he breathed out. "Green clovers, blue diamonds... purple horseshoes... we were always after 'em..." I allowed him a few moments to relive some of his memories, as the screen beeping and pulsing REMOVE CARD didn't faze him one bit. Finally, a loud throat-clearing from the woman next to me startled him out of his reverie, as she was in a hurry to catch her Uber. As she departed, I tried to reel him back in. "So what would be your advice, then?" I gently pushed. He blinked again, and then stared back at me. "Don't. Just... don't. Were ye planning on having any children? They'll be his. Yer memories? His. Yer not going to catch him with a rope snare, or a spring trap, or a pile of candy. He'll always be one step ahead. Or four. There's only one way to pin him down, and it's impossible." I cocked an eyebrow at him, slowly drawing my ale through the crazy straw, sending it back down, pulling it back up again. He buckled. "His name, fer God's sake. Little forest spirits are all alike, when ye get down to it. The fae, the dwarves, all gaga over names. Ye get his name, ye get his charms." I nodded sagely. "I'm after the gold, actually. I have no need of charms. Despite the value dropping in these inflationary times relative to other investments, I'm in it for the long haul." The bartender shrugged numbly. "Same's as same. Need the name." I smiled, and tapped the bottom of the umbrella on the side of the pint glass, picking my teeth with the point at the bottom. "So, any idea where to-" "No," he interrupted. "No idea. Never got it. Fer all I know he never had one, was just shining us on." He continued to polish the same glass, giving it a crystalline shine, while I finished my ale. I tossed another coin onto the counter. "I appreciate the advice. At least I know where to start," and gave him a wink. He cleared his throat. "We actually use Euros now, you still owe €11. Though these are nice, these..." he held up one of the coins and inspected it. "Tokens," I replied. "From Chuck E. Cheese. Fantastic skee-ball." I stood and tipped my hat, waved at the band, and headed out the door, with far fewer questions than I started with, but one glaring new one... |
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Aug 30, 2022 04:23
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I recently took on a fetch quest to fetch fetch quests, which synergizes well with my plan to take on as many fetch quests as possible in hopes that their requirements overlap. Anyway I need one more quest to maximize my multitasking, it doesn't have to be a fetch quest but if it were that would be, like, so fetch! |
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Aug 31, 2022 17:07
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If it's not too late to get in on this quest action, I'd like to get in on this quest action. |
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Aug 31, 2022 21:22
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Bacon Taco posted:If it's not too late to get in on this quest action, I'd like to get in on this quest action. Quests are available until the AI pisses me off enough that I burn the website down. Your quest reads, "In a land far away, there is a kingdom in peril. The king has been overthrown by a wicked sorcerer and now the land is in chaos. The people are suffering and the only hope is for a brave hero to step forward and save the day. You, the hero, are tasked with fetching a magical artifact that is the only thing that can stop the sorcerer. The artifact is hidden in a dark and dangerous dungeon, and you will have to fight your way through hordes of enemies to get it. But if you succeed, you will be hailed as a hero and the people will be saved." google THIS posted:I recently took on a fetch quest to fetch fetch quests, which synergizes well with my plan to take on as many fetch quests as possible in hopes that their requirements overlap. Anyway I need one more quest to maximize my multitasking, it doesn't have to be a fetch quest but if it were that would be, like, so fetch! A return adventurer, excellent. Have a prequest reward. A Fetching Hat: Wearer oozes charisma while wearing the hat on fetch quests, as well as a small amount of knee sweat. Your quest reads, "The village of Everspring has been beset by a curse: every morning, when the sun rises, all the food in the village disappears. The village elders have asked you to find a way to break the curse. To do this, you must venture into the nearby forest and find the witch who cursed the village in the first place. Once you find her, you must retrieve a magical artifact that she has hidden away somewhere in the forest. Only then will the curse be broken and the village be saved." https://i.imgur.com/1qBoiAi.mp4
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Aug 31, 2022 21:54
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Ok, this is going to be tricky. My pack is starting to encumber me, so I leave the puffshroom caps, gnoll steaks, and leviathan caviar I've gathered over weeks of grinding in the village for safekeeping and venture into the forest. After searching through the night I locate a gigantic pile of birdshit laced with splinters, a sure sign that one of those Baba Yaga huts is nearby |
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Sep 1, 2022 00:43
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google THIS posted:Ok, this is going to be tricky. My pack is starting to encumber me, so I leave the puffshroom caps, gnoll steaks, and leviathan caviar I've gathered over weeks of grinding in the village for safekeeping and venture into the forest. After searching through the night I locate a gigantic pile of birdshit laced with splinters, a sure sign that one of those Baba Yaga huts is nearby Yea, them leviathan eggs are sure to over encumber. I wish you luck and caution. |
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Sep 1, 2022 02:24
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nesamdoom posted:Your quest reads,"Track down a mischievous leprechaun who has been causing trouble in the kingdom. Rumor has it that he has been hiding out in the forest, so that's where you'll need to start your search. Be warned, the leprechaun is a crafty one and he won't be easy to find. But if you're lucky enough to catch him, you just might be able to convince him to give up his pot of gold." Pt. 2 - The second part I had exhausted all my other resources. Ancient scrolls, well-worn tomes, children's stories, and everything the Bing search engine could dig up on leprechaun names. Not a damned thing, except reconfirmation of Rule 34. I had one last idea, but it was a long shot, and I would be risking everything on it. Then it dawned on me - I hadn't even come up with a plan to find the leprechaun in the first place. Did they have a favorite food I could use as bait? Could I use hunting dogs to root them out? Was it a specific forest, or just any ol' forest in Ireland? Do they wear clothes or is that just something artists drew on there to keep it all PG? I wandered the streets of Galway, despondent. It was entirely by chance that inspiration struck, as I passed by an old church, and overheard someone else overhearing something. I overtly looked up at the stone statues overhead, while overusing the word over. I hastily pulled out my phone, went over to the young woman who started the hubbub, and started the voice recorder. "Excuse me, ma'am, but can you repeat the thing you just said before that guy came over? I'm doing some research," I lied. She glared at me momentarily, but my innocent, cheerful demeanor won the day, and she complied. I had my bait. Now I just needed to find a forest. I hopped on a bus heading south, and looked for a likely spot, mumbling to myself as the road signs flew by. "Oranmore... a little too urban. Kilcolgan... nah. Ooh. Gort?" A voice popped up from behind. "Are ye talkin' to me?" I rolled my eyes. "No, my town is also named Gort." I stood up and headed for the door. It wasn't too far from the bus station to the nearby nature reserve. "Coole, this shouldn't take too long then," giving myself a confident pep-talk. After a few minutes of pushing in to the deep trees, where I couldn't see any paths or buildings, I pulled out my phone, and took a deep breath. I pressed play. The woman's voice, mildly hesitant, came sparkling through. "Look at the gargoyles up there on the eaves o' the church!" And it wasn't but a few seconds before the leprechaun came bursting through the underbrush, tripping over his words: "It's only a gargoyle if it's a statue that's also a waterspout, otherwise it's merely a grotesque, ya ken!" He blinked and looked around, trying to find the target of his mansplaining, his eyes glazing over me as he swung his little head back and forth. "Oy! Where'd she go?" I chuckled, and swung close to him, taking a selfie with him using the phone. "I've caught you, little leprechaun, and now you must give me your pot of gold!" "Now now," he began with a wry grin, "ye haven't truly caught a leprechaun unless ye can guess his name. Are ye willing to make a little wager on that point, then?" I appeared to ponder it over, my head shaking back and forth as if in thought, while I quietly hit a couple more buttons on my phone. "What's the bet, then?" I asked casually. "Well then, if ye can guess my name, I'll give ye my pot o' gold," he stated proudly. "And if ye fail... then ye must promise to me all the memories of yer first love," he cackled. I wasn't quite sure why he was so eager to take all my thoughts on Double Stuf Oreos, but that point was irrelevant - I was going to win. "You're on," I smugly replied. He gave a little whoop and kicked his heels together, full of excitement and mischief. "Yer never goin to guess it, laddie, but just to be nice, I'll give ye three cracks at it," he chortled. I raised my eyebrows and nodded towards him. "Very kind of you indeed, let me think here..." I sat down on a nearby stump and stroked my chin, wishing that I still had a beard, because stroking a bare chin just doesn't carry the same panache. "Is it... Gerry?" I ventured. He snorted. "Ah come lad, ye can do better than that, give it a real try then." I shrugged. "Gerry's a very Irish name, though. Alright. Let me see... Ifnkovhgroghprm?" I choked out. The leprechaun giggled softly to himself. "Bit of a deep cut, that one. But no, traveler. Mine is not a name of this century. Or this millenium," he intoned, his face growing dark, "but a name birthed in the primeval wilderness, a guttural tempest of sound, known only to hares gone extinct, to hawks long dead, to trees buried under eons of decay. Ye will never ken my name, traveler, and yer thoughts will soon be mine." I stared deeply into his eyes as I dramatically pulled out my phone, opened up Facebook, and looked at the selfie I had just taken with him. Underneath it were the options... to tag myself, and someone who the facial-recognition software tagged as... "Bubba Gubba Borba Lindtsen Joober Flambin' Trink Brank Gornky", I triumphantly announced. His face fell a little more with each word, twisting into rage, getting as red as his hair and beard. "Oooh, ye cheatin' pile of sheep poo poo!" he screamed. He stomped around in a circle, kicking any loose sticks or rocks he found. "Ye couldn't have..." he frothed. "Sorry man, they got everybody now," I comforted him. "It's a new age." He began to wind down, the curse words coming fewer and further between, until finally he sat down cross-legged on the ground, and stared into space. He sighed, pulled a baggie out from his coat pocket and tossed it to me. "There ye go, enjoy." I looked confusedly at the eighth of weed in my hands. "I thought it was supposed to be-" "Pot o' gold?" he interrupted. "Aye, that's Acapulco Gold, the good shite. And no, I haven't had actual coins in years. Ye can't haul that crap around a forest, ye'll blow yer back out. Most o' me wealth is in bitcoins these days." I hung my head, feeling as equally defeated as the leprechaun. "Well poo poo," I clapped my hands together, pulling myself up. "Wanna smoke this?" Bubba blinked a few times. "Aye, gently caress it. Here, load up me pipe." We blazed into the evening. He taught me a few magic tricks, I taught him some recent Tiktok dance crazes and showed him some dope memes. "Shitcoin, eh?" he giggled. "Sorry ye thought ye were gettin wealthy today, lad." I smiled and patted him on his shoulder. "Bubba, the real treasure was the friend I made along the way. And also this weed, this is dank as hell." |
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Sep 1, 2022 06:49
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Abugadu posted:Pt. 2 - The second part Quite the tale. You found him and so full completion. Maybe the quest requestor should have asked you to do more than track him down, but that's on them. As much as I'd like to say the real reward is the journey and keep the sweet sweet loot for myself I kinda have an easy job here and half of that is the reward portion. Have yourself an Unending Pint:A pint of Guinness that never runs out. and Undies of Levitation: Underwear that allow flight up to 55 feet and speed of up to 25 Km per hour. These have the added bonus of not being able to make contact with the ground while wearing, so never worry about falling out of bed or being able to land properly as you'll need to remove them to actually land. As a bonus reward I feel like saving you from smoking anything but the best of things. So, have this Golden Filter: Anything passing this filter will have flavour and potentcy doubled, but the magic in it must be charged by eating near it on a regular basis. https://i.imgur.com/1qBoiAi.mp4
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Sep 1, 2022 11:19
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let’s get quested
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Sep 1, 2022 15:35
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baka fwocka fwame posted:let’s get quested A client was just in with something needing done. Your quest reads, "I need you to collect the following items for me: -A dragon's scale -A phoenix feather -A unicorn hair -The blood of a faerie You must venture into the deep dark forest to find the dragon, brave the lava fields to find the phoenix, and journey to the edge of the world to find the unicorn. The faerie can be found in any meadow or field." Good luck! https://i.imgur.com/1qBoiAi.mp4
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Sep 1, 2022 15:58
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nesamdoom posted:
I got up late to start my quest so that I could be sure I was well-rested and in good physical and mental condition to find the magical artifact. Nothing like starting the day with a hearty breakfast and a big rear end flagon of mead, but then I felt real sleepy and took a nap. When I awoke, I was not in my own bed, but instead under a tree outside an open gate to a dungeon. I didn't have my weapons or armor or adventuring gear, but I am the hero, so I poked my head into the dungeon to check out the situation. In a large atrium, there were a couple of dog-looking things that barked real loud, and I could swear there was a vampire or some poo poo standing against a wall smoking a cigarette. Not knowing if this was even the right dungeon, or what artifact was magical, I turned around and walked away. My village was only a three minute walk away. I found my hovel and went to bed, mentally preparing myself to return to the dungeon around lunch tomorrow to check out the situation further.
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Sep 2, 2022 18:11
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Bacon Taco posted:I got up late to start my quest so that I could be sure I was well-rested and in good physical and mental condition to find the magical artifact. The next day, early in the afternoon, after a big brunch, I walked back to the dungeon. That vampire looking dude was still standing inside, along with those dog-looking things. "Goode afternoon," I said to him, in an old timey and adventurous way. "Hey," he said back. As my eyes adjusted to the light, I saw he wasn't a vampire, but just a thin teenage goth dude wearing a black shirt that said "Hotte Topique". The two dog-looking things were actual dogs, which I discovered when they licked my hands. "I'm, uh, looking for a magical artifact in a dungeon to save our kingdom from the evil sorcerer," I said, hoping he might know something. "What is evil anyway, bro?" he said, stonerly. "If you save our kingdom from him how do you know, like, the next guy might not be worse?" He smoked something from a pipe labeled "The Weede Arse" and offered it to me. I felt happy and ready to adventure after I smoked some of the fine herb inside. "Thanks man," I said, "but I need to adventure forth to get the magical artifact." "Oh this pipe is it," he said. "I've been smoking this for 300 years and never aged a day." I realized that the pipe kept him alive. If I took it, he would die, and I didn't want that on my conscience, so I wished him a hallow "goode day" and walked home.
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Sep 2, 2022 18:22
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Bacon Taco posted:I got up late to start my quest so that I could be sure I was well-rested and in good physical and mental condition to find the magical artifact. Your thoughtful approach has granted you the bonus of Toerings of Intellect: while wearing(and unseen by others, if seen by others halve your wisdom, charisma, and luck) your intellect is doubled as long as you are well rested. You also made the base minimum of going to a dungeon, right or wrong one isn't important. You have earned a a success on this and may continue for further rewards if you choose. Bacon Taco posted:The next day, early in the afternoon, after a big brunch, I walked back to the dungeon. That vampire looking dude was still standing inside, along with those dog-looking things. Super chill to not kill a non confrontational being. I happen to have found out that the pipe was one of three and we have one in storage, but it's slightly cursed. You can still use it to defeat the sorcerer and it will still let you age at a really chill pace, but any time you smoke from it you will always fail a sobriety roll and everyone will know that you have smoked. You are granted ownership of this magical instrument and asked to please not fog out the guild hall too often... It'd be terrible if I was laughing too much to read the quests, but late afternoon or weekends and it shouldn't be a problem. Another fine job by a BYOB adventurer. https://i.imgur.com/1qBoiAi.mp4
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Sep 2, 2022 18:48
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Ok so I located the witch's house and subdued it by tucking its chimney under one wing until it fell asleep. The witch seemed miffed at first but the charm of my new hat won her over. We chatted over tea and boiled house eggs. The yolk had more brick mortar in it than I usually prefer, but I digress. Anyway, it turns out that Everspring was having a bit of a collective weight problem and they came to the witch for help. She whipped up an enchanted sundial that was meant to help enforce an intermittent fasting schedule for them. Unfortunately things went a little haywire and the sundial ended up erasing all of the food in town at dawn to keep the villagers in fat-burning mode, but it failed to return the food at the first scheduled mealtime as intended. I feel like I'm forgetting something important here. It'll come to me. But wouldn't you know it, she lost the sundial somewhere in the forest. Fortunately it has a GPS and calorie tracker built in. Unfortunately the cloud data from these metrics shows that the sundial was found and is currently being worn by either a giant or a fire elemental, as few other creatures could burn over 300,000 calories in a 24-hour period. Whoever it is seems to be out for a morning jog, so I'm moving to intercept them for what will hopefully be an amiable conversation about returning goods to their rightful owners. On a side note, I also found four witch house eggs, which partially fulfills the requirements for no less than three of my current fetch quests. The witch won't mind. Hopefully I can turn them in simultaneously. Some quest NPCs are sticklers about deducting the items from my inventory before I also give them to other quest NPCs, which is a dick move imo |
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Sep 2, 2022 18:53
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nesamdoom posted:A client was just in with something needing done. ok I did this one in my journal      
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Sep 4, 2022 19:57
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baka fwocka fwame posted:ok I did this one in my journal
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Sep 4, 2022 20:11
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baka fwocka fwame posted:ok I did this one in my journal
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Sep 4, 2022 20:19
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lol
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Sep 4, 2022 20:20
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Bacon Taco posted:I got up late to start my quest so that I could be sure I was well-rested and in good physical and mental condition to find the magical artifact. Dang, I just found this mug and you probably need it more than my pillow needs it. Have a Mug of Breakfast: Twice a day will provide a strong pint of alcohol and the nutrition of a pound of eggs and bacon. baka fwocka fwame posted:ok I did this one in my journal google THIS posted:Ok so I located the witch's house and subdued it by tucking its chimney under one wing until it fell asleep. More good work. Have a Box of Duplication Glitch: By putting an item in and taking out of the box quickly andrepeatedly you'll manage to sometimes take the item out while it stays inside. Glitch only can occur once per day. https://i.imgur.com/1qBoiAi.mp4
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Sep 5, 2022 21:29
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Tis I, Prince Fingers, the paladin! Chosen warrior of Someone Pretty *gestures skyward* Gosh Darned Important! I was Chosen for the path of completing noble quests for the greater, umm, being great! And not at all because I owe the thieves guild quite a lot of money. Word of warning: their gambling halls may not quite be on the up-and-up. What is your quest? |
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Sep 8, 2022 16:23
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nesamdoom posted:More good work. Have a Box of Duplication Glitch: By putting an item in and taking out of the box quickly andrepeatedly you'll manage to sometimes take the item out while it stays inside. Glitch only can occur once per day. If you've never tried to catch up with a powerwalking giant let me tell you, it's an experience. It took some effort to get the giant to listen to reason. That effort might have involved 73HP worth of damage and 12,000 calories burned between both parties. But I was finally able to get him to calm down, possibly due to blood loss, and I explained the situation. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the giant was finding the enchanted sundial as burdensome as it was helpful, because every morning a large-ish pile of food would teleport into his cave and he would absentmindedly snack on it throughout the day, obliterating the gains from his exercise regimen. So in exchange for a coupon for the witch's store, which I was only too happy to get rid of, the giant returned the sundial and even gave me a few pieces of leviathan caviar he was too full to finish, which gets me a lot closer to completing that fetch quest. I returned to the village triumphant and helped them navigate the witch's convoluted product protection plan so they could get a replacement sundial shipped. I'm off to retrieve my stored goods and then I will return for my reward. e: Due to certain unforeseen circumstances I have decided to forfeit most of my existing fetch quests and have in fact sworn off them for a while. You'll find me at the tavern, trying to glitch one strong drink into two. |
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Sep 8, 2022 16:56
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Finger Prince posted:Tis I, Prince Fingers, the paladin! Chosen warrior of Someone Pretty *gestures skyward* Gosh Darned Important! I was Chosen for the path of completing noble quests for the greater, umm, being great! And not at all because I owe the thieves guild quite a lot of money. Word of warning: their gambling halls may not quite be on the up-and-up. I happen to have just gotten a very stangely specific quest that you may be adequate for. For this task you may need a preward... Aah, here it is the Dye of Lucky Scents: Will always roll what you want in combination with the result of another die being cast, buy has the drawbacks of smelling strongly of manure when used and also staining anything it's held in with the colour of farts. google THIS posted:If you've never tried to catch up with a powerwalking giant let me tell you, it's an experience. As an esteemed adventurer I feel like I should bonus you with a Steamed Moondial: Tell time without the aid of the sun, but only while item is in a pan with water and a lid. Effect will last for 7 seconds after lid is removed. As a base reward to help you with your experimentation I give you the Tall Mug: Treated as the size and weight of a normal mug. Compacity dectupled when contents contain alcohol. I'm quite proud of the adventurousnessly way BYOB has worked to make us the main questing service in the land. All posters given a voucher granting either a random reward, a magical cat summoning item or one magical food/cosumable item. https://i.imgur.com/1qBoiAi.mp4
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Sep 8, 2022 17:53
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I burned alil of the rice on that last update, so I'm offering an open quest that any adventurers may take to bring me more magical rice and all that do recieve of a Rice Spoof of Lasting: once per week you may feed a spoonful of a rice dish to this item to have it replicate the flavour on any other rice you eat until it is refed.
https://i.imgur.com/1qBoiAi.mp4
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Sep 8, 2022 18:03
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nesamdoom posted:I happen to have just gotten a very stangely specific quest that you may be adequate for. For this task you may need a preward... Aah, here it is the Dye of Lucky Scents: Will always roll what you want in combination with the result of another die being cast, buy has the drawbacks of smelling strongly of manure when used and also staining anything it's held in with the colour of farts. Hmm, yes, this vial of dye will definitely come in handy in the dice halls - err, sewers - that is to say, not that I hang around in the sewers often, and certainly not at the dice halls rumoured to be in said sewers - but if I were to find myself in the sewers, and happened to chance upon the opportunity to pass the time with a friendly game of dice with another... sewer...worker, well the offensive smell certainly won't be out of place! This magical cat summoning item, does it magically summon a regular cat? Or regular summon a magical cat? |
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Sep 8, 2022 18:11
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Finger Prince posted:Hmm, yes, this vial of dye will definitely come in handy in the dice halls - err, sewers - that is to say, not that I hang around in the sewers often, and certainly not at the dice halls rumoured to be in said sewers - but if I were to find myself in the sewers, and happened to chance upon the opportunity to pass the time with a friendly game of dice with another... sewer...worker, well the offensive smell certainly won't be out of place! It magically summons a magical cat, but the cat either bugs you for lasagna or demands to wear a ridiculous hat that actually makes it quite powerful, but only while rhyming. https://i.imgur.com/1qBoiAi.mp4
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Sep 8, 2022 18:28
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