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In this reimagining of LoTR the nazguls traverse the wartorn lands of middle earth via black motorcycles or helicopters
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Feb 9, 2023 14:53
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| # ? May 12, 2024 23:50 |
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Gunmling halts the squad in front of the palace in Edoras, where the king, Theogunden is holding court. "Your weapons, please", he demands of the squad. Aragun initially resists, but the wizard signals him to do as Gunmling orders. Aragun hands him his rusted AK-47, a pair of Uzis, a pair of concealed Glocks, his tactical knife, and a six-shooter. Legunlas hands him his Barret .50 cal, a modified M1 Carbine, and a concealed pair of Skorpion VZ/61. Gunmli holds tight to his SPAS-12 for a while, until he relents and hands it over. He also hands over a pair of concealed 12-gauge sawed-off shotguns. "Your Desert Eagle", Gumnling orders the wizard. "You wouldn't part an old man from his walking stick", Gundalf pleads. Gunmling relents and lets him keep his Desert Eagle. ----- "The Desert Eagle! You didn't get his Desert Eagle!", Grima Guntongue screeches inside the throne room. "Shut up bitch", Gundalf replies, unhostering his DE and 360 noscoping Grima's head.
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Feb 9, 2023 15:04
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Frodo and Sam equipped in Mordor Orc armor which is just random Tacticool stuff and pouches covered in punisher skulls
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Feb 9, 2023 15:53
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galadriel bestowing upon each member of the fellowship a BUDK gift that will become an important part of their personal journey
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Feb 9, 2023 15:55
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“Let’s hunt some orc” *cocks shotgun*
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Feb 9, 2023 16:05
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"FIM" said the MANPAD operator. "FIM-92! I have saved you to the last. You have never failed me and always I have recovered you. I had you from my father and he from of old. If ever you came from the lend-lease of the true king under the Mountain, go now and seek well!"
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Feb 9, 2023 16:08
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"Now I have a machinegun. Hrrmm hrrrm hrrrm" -Treebeard
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Feb 9, 2023 16:17
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Feb 10, 2023 16:31
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Feb 10, 2023 20:52
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Feb 10, 2023 20:56
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The great orc fell and its blood began pouring on Merry's face. As he was being crushed beneath its weight he thought to himself, "I suppose it had to end this way. I wish Pippin were here." Then, as if out some long forgotten story, he heard "The Warthogs are coming! The Warthogs are coming!" BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT
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Feb 11, 2023 03:51
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All the nazguls are sporting neckbeards, cringy tattoos and sunglasses
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Feb 11, 2023 04:01
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*the dwarf princess, gazing over the embers of her fallen kingdom after the 3rd age of Golfdalf the Great* "this never would have happened if the goblin wizard had a gun"
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Feb 11, 2023 04:19
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JediTalentAgent posted:The ring of power is now a gun. That's just Terry Pratchett's Men at Arms.
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Feb 11, 2023 04:26
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Colonel Cancer posted:In this reimagining of LoTR the nazguls traverse the wartorn lands of middle earth via black motorcycles or helicopters "Shiiiiire. Bullets." "Oh, oh, the Underhill Gunstore. Why didn't you say that earlier? Just go down Harfoot lane, take a right at the waffle house, and..."
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Feb 11, 2023 04:32
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‘No!’ said Aragorn. ‘We must have a look and see what the 7.62x39mm 57-N-231 bullets have done to you. I still marvel that you are alive at all.’ Gently he stripped off Frodo’s old jacket and worn tunic, and gave a gasp of wonder. Then he laughed. Carefully he took it off and held it up. ‘Look, my friends!’ he called. ‘Here’s a plate carrier to wrap an elven-princeling in! If it were known that hobbits had such plate carriers, all the hunters of Middle-earth would be riding to the Shire.’ ‘And all the bullets of all the hunters in the world would be in vain,’ said Gimli, gazing at the plate carrier in wonder. ‘It is a Gondor Modular Operator Plate Carrier GEN II with ESAPI plate NIJ Level 4 (IV) inserts! I have never seen or heard tell of one so fair. Is this the plate carrier that Gandalf spoke of? Then he undervalued it. But it was well given.’
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Feb 11, 2023 05:08
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gyrotachometer posted:‘No!’ said Aragorn. ‘We must have a look and see what the 7.62x39mm 57-N-231 bullets have done to you. I still marvel that you are alive at all.’ Gently he stripped off Frodo’s old jacket and worn tunic, and gave a gasp of wonder. Then he laughed. Carefully he took it off and held it up. 
covidstomper58 fucked around with this message at 05:30 on Feb 11, 2023 |
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Feb 11, 2023 05:22
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Bad Purchase posted:bilbo poses a riddle to gollum, “what have i got in my pocket?” Oddly enough, an actual joke in the Bored of the Rings parody, though because of the dark he misses and just sinks the raft the Gollum equivalent was using. It notes that he could have killed him, but pity stayed his hand; “It’s a pity I’ve run out of bullets”.
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Feb 11, 2023 06:37
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Lol
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Feb 11, 2023 12:14
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Orc: "The trees are strong, my lord. Their roots go deep." Saruman: "Cut them all down." Saruman steps to the side to reveal a minigun: "... with this!" Orc: "Holy gently caress." Saruman: "Yeah, I've been watching MythBusters on the palantir."
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Feb 12, 2023 04:11
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That scene on the Dead Marshes except with a A-10 Warthog
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Feb 12, 2023 04:56
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LaserPrinter69 fucked around with this message at 21:16 on Feb 12, 2023 |
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Feb 12, 2023 19:03
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Feb 13, 2023 00:25
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The whole Ent army thing fell apart pretty quick when napalm and flamethrowers were introduced to the war.
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Feb 13, 2023 00:57
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That'll only make them stronger, smoke ents are immune to bullets
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Feb 13, 2023 01:05
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Feb 13, 2023 01:43
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EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM 5 DVDS INTO THE SLOT. ITS THE HOBBIT AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, THE HOBBIT. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME ORC BASTARDS OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ESCAPED MIDDLE EARTH’S MOST DANGEROUS DRAGON. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JEKRS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE LINES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 6 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNING. THEN I LIFT.
Gatto Grigio fucked around with this message at 02:24 on Feb 13, 2023 |
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Feb 13, 2023 02:09
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Feb 14, 2023 03:29
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same energy 
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Feb 14, 2023 03:48
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That must be even more painful than it looks!
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Feb 14, 2023 05:07
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aragorn has m16a5 with a cog
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Feb 14, 2023 06:04
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Feb 14, 2023 18:01
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Scouring of the Shire except by the end it looks like a WW1 battlefield, Merry is dead, Pippin lost an eye and a leg, Sam has PTSD and Frodo has horrible burns, and the Brandywine is poisoned
Space Kablooey fucked around with this message at 22:38 on Feb 14, 2023 |
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Feb 14, 2023 22:36
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| # ? May 12, 2024 23:50 |
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The great Shire war ends with Sackville Bagginses eating the bullet in the deepest room of barricaded Bag End as the eagle bombers rain down napalm over the area
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Feb 14, 2023 22:50
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