calling all goons: have you been on a cruise?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > calling all goons: have you been on a cruise?

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Poohs Packin: Jan 13, 2019

I went on a cruise at 17 and drank illegally and did drugs illegally and had a great time, OP

Also I used to work on private yachts and sometimes the owners would just let us have a staff day and tool around on their superyachts so you could say I'm a bit of a cruise expert.

# ? Feb 20, 2023 10:36

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# ? May 3, 2024 08:10

Booty Pageant: Apr 20, 2012

Das Boo posted:

Family was in Florida for my dad's annual meeting and we met up with houseboat friend while there. The idea was to spend the day on the water and head to a lakeside restaurant for dinner. He told us there were no alligators in the lake.

Well, first the motor died. We put up the sail and naturally, the wind died. Next, houseboat friend tried a ship to shore distress call, but either no one picked up or they thought he was just drunk? Which he was. "Hello, hello, we need a tow, on Lake Monroe! Huhuh, that rhymes!"

This was 199...4? '95? No cells, of course. So we were just kinda stuck there, Florida in July, and after jumping in the water initially we had to get out pretty quickly because someone "saw something in the water." There was some relief from the heat when the sun went down, but then a million tiny green bugs descended upon the boat. Most of us holed up in the cabin while houseboat guy stayed on deck to see if the wind would pick up. But he was super drunk and puking overboard, which attracted the alligators that weren't there, and you could see them breaking the water around the boat all night. We were out there all night.

The wind finally picked up in the morning and my dad and houseboat guy had to hitch the 10 miles back to the car with a couple of prostitutes. The cherry on the sundae was getting in the car and seeing a 10 foot gator chilling on the side of the road within a few minutes.

Addendum! We saw a friend who worked at Universal Studios right before we left. He informed us they used to film parts of Tarzan at Lake Monroe because there were so many alligators in there.

and thus gator girl was born, protecting the swamps of florida and occasionally doing meth

# ? Feb 20, 2023 10:57

Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

Booty Pageant posted:

and thus gator girl was born, protecting the swamps of florida and occasionally doing meth

I am legend.

# ? Feb 20, 2023 11:42

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

i cruise all the time :smug:

# ? Feb 20, 2023 11:50

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Lots of goons are cruising for a bruising

# ? Feb 20, 2023 14:03

Panic! At The Tesco: Aug 19, 2005; FART

yeah i went on this cruise in the 90's it was wild. some guy hacked the ship and killed the captain, then he was going to ram it into an oil tanker. i ended up saving the day and we only crashed into a marina instead.

# ? Feb 20, 2023 14:10

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# ? May 3, 2024 08:10

Martman: Nov 20, 2006

Panic! At The Tesco posted:

yeah i went on this cruise in the 90's it was wild. some guy hacked the ship and killed the captain, then he was going to ram it into an oil tanker. i ended up saving the day and we only crashed into a marina instead.

Imagine if Keanu reeves had been there, woulda been cool

# ? Feb 20, 2023 14:16

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > calling all goons: have you been on a cruise?

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