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FIGHT! |
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Feb 22, 2023 14:00
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| # ? May 2, 2024 13:02 |
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we all know the ewoks ate those storm troopers, gollum is a light brunch |
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Feb 22, 2023 15:56
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do the ewoks have the precious?
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Feb 22, 2023 15:57
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gollum can sneak around in the area he's used to (scrubland, swamps, mountain), swim real good, and maybe strangle a fool if he gets in close ewoks are shown to be able to make elaborate traps and weapons out of wood and vines. also there's a lot of them both have nasty teeth imo the only way gollum has a chance is if the battlefield is strongly in his favour, and even then he could only win by slowly picking off isolated ewoks one by one. if he gets noticed by a group he'd get swarmed, even if they didn't have a bunch of wood to make spears with and stuff
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Feb 22, 2023 16:37
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I want to get into creative writing. So maybe this a good time to try it out? e: I absolutely agree that this is asymetric warfare. Prurient Squid fucked around with this message at 19:25 on Feb 22, 2023 |
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Feb 22, 2023 19:23
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What's the difference between ewoks and hobbits? That's not a joke, I'm serious. |
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Feb 22, 2023 19:55
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Buttchocks posted:What's the difference between ewoks and hobbits? That's not a joke, I'm serious. ewoks: big eyes, sharp teeth, live in trees hobbits: small eyes, big feet, live in the dirt
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Feb 22, 2023 20:01
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Wicket cried out with pain as uneven teeth sank into the flesh of his neck. His shriek was like the pained howl of an animal and died away to a hoarse whisper. Gollum had taken first blood. But he knew that with the light of the dawn his advantage would slip away from him. Vanishing into the underbrush he skulked away in search for prey. The game had truly begun. |
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Feb 22, 2023 20:23
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Grim Ewok Battle Sergeant Wub Blub studies the dawning battle sky which is full of tie fighters shooting lasers. Alas, he thinks, this is a wub dub bub day for our people. To the north he can see the incandescence of flame burning a savage aurora through the treeline. His 2nd at arms Tub Bubly approaches. "Wubba, Cap. This is the poo poo, huh. Never in all my froovles have I seen a clusterfuck like this." Wub Blub picks scuff from his belly. "The Empire really hosed us in our ewok asses when they got this new bounty hunter who likes to run around biting people." Tub Bubly frowns in that way characteristic to him. How innocent he looks, Wub Blub thinks, and how fearsome too. A proud Ewok warrior. "He's just one hosed up hobbit, sir. We should set a trap for him." Wub Blub shakes his head. "No, he'll be expecting that. Now, you've still got your grenades, right?" Tub Bubly swallows. "Yes." "Give them to me," Wub Blub says. "It's up to me to have the flubs to do this right." baka of lathspell fucked around with this message at 21:16 on Feb 22, 2023
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Feb 22, 2023 21:14
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The Ewok just needs to make a comment about being a costumed actor who actually appears on screen. This will send Andy Serkis into an incoherent rage as the Gollum model t-poses, allowing the Ewok to move in for the kill |
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Feb 22, 2023 21:21
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baka fwocka fwame posted:Grim Ewok Battle Sergeant Wub Blub studies the dawning battle sky which is full of tie fighters shooting lasers. Alas, he thinks, this is a wub dub bub day for our people. To the north he can see the incandescence of flame burning a savage aurora through the treeline. "yub yub, commander," Tub Bubly choked out, tears matter the fur under his giant eyes, "it's been an honour"
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Feb 22, 2023 22:53
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all that fur really smoulders in Mt. Doom |
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Feb 22, 2023 23:02
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"I hates them" hisses a skulky vindictive creature in the gloom. "those loving Ewokses... I hates them". Gollum dipped his fingers into the pool of blood and and painted two lines on his face. In his eyes burned endless malice. |
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Feb 23, 2023 14:12
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I've seen the holiday special, I'm not going to underestimate the ewoks
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Feb 23, 2023 20:23
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thanos beams in and UFO (uh freakin owns) them all
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Feb 23, 2023 23:37
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then a late title card for rap battles of history
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Feb 23, 2023 23:37
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thanos is powerful but the ewoks turn to their religion and surprisingly in a flash of divine light C3PO appears, empowered by god energies. he's still the same polite protocol droid though and rather than battle thanos he simply calmly points out that thanos plot to save the universe by deleting half the population is mind numbingly loving stupid since: 1. and, this is important, thanos has the infinity gauntlet with the power to say create endless resources for everyone 2. killing half of a fast breeding, resource intensive species will have negligible effect while slower lived, less resource using species will be seriously impacted. in some cases such as eusocial species with only one individual responsible for reproductive duties it amounts to a 50/50 chance of genocide 3. it just seems like a heavy handed metaphor for ecofacisim? thanos is destroyed by FACTS and LOGIC and is reduced to tears, realizing he's basically the most poorly conceived character ever created and while he's laying around weeping the ewoks swoop in, kill and eat him |
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Feb 24, 2023 00:22
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^
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Feb 24, 2023 00:51
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man they should make a movie where Galatus shows up and eats the moon
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Feb 24, 2023 01:08
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Feb 24, 2023 02:56
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Feb 24, 2023 04:06
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Feb 24, 2023 04:08
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Look Sir, the precious! |
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Feb 24, 2023 05:37
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Harry Potter vs Kazam
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Feb 24, 2023 05:40
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Hmm... I guess the premise of Ewoks vs. Gollum sounds cool until you realise it's kind of boring and the only way to save it is by going spectacularly off the rails. Interesting. e: Like if the Ewoks pulled out their trump card and it was Sam with a kalshnikov. e: Or maybe go the other way and make it deep and meaningful in a way that transcends the premise. Prurient Squid fucked around with this message at 15:45 on Feb 24, 2023 |
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Feb 24, 2023 15:25
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i've met too many guys in college that said "you gotta hear my gollum" where i only met one guy that did the yub nub song. ewoks win by a mile
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Feb 24, 2023 15:44
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Buttchocks posted:What's the difference between ewoks and hobbits? That's not a joke, I'm serious. Hobbits would never beat an imperial stormtrooper invasion |
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Feb 24, 2023 16:25
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counterpoint: stormtroopers cannot even hit a stationary target, and hobbits are incredibly stationary most of the time
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Feb 24, 2023 18:16
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FutonForensic posted:i've met too many guys in college that said "you gotta hear my gollum" where i only met one guy that did the yub nub song. ewoks win by a mile its yub nub???? ive been saying wub nub this whole time
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Feb 24, 2023 20:04
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Feb 24, 2023 23:00
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| # ? May 2, 2024 13:02 |
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(given that they have "glowah" mean both "power" and "freedom" that translation is at least partially horseshit)
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Feb 24, 2023 23:01
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