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Hello folks, here to announce Dr Bagels, licensed therapurrst, is open for questions. Please form a line and take a number and Dr Bagels will be with you shortly
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Mar 5, 2023 05:56
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Mutton Chops are a risky movie in 2023
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Mar 5, 2023 06:00
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it does work on the good doctor though. I would scratch him behind the ears.
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Mar 5, 2023 06:06
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I have crazy anxiety problems what do you prescribe?
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Mar 5, 2023 06:08
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Dr, Bagels. I seem to be missing a leg. Had two at the start of the day, now I only seem to have one. Oh also there's a lot more blood in my room than I remember, and I seem to be in a lot more pain than I remember in the morning as well. Do you know what I got doc? Is this serious medical condition? Is this like a common thing? I'm just no good at this medicine stuff like you doc. 
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Mar 5, 2023 06:17
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Dr Bagels doesn't seem pleased to see anyone.
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Mar 5, 2023 06:27
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Doctor Bagels, how do I get closer to my dad before he eventually dies?
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Mar 5, 2023 06:27
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Dr Bagels put sesame seeds in my couch
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Mar 5, 2023 06:27
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dr_rat posted:Dr, Bagels. I seem to be missing a leg. Had two at the start of the day, now I only seem to have one. Oh also there's a lot more blood in my room than I remember, and I seem to be in a lot more pain than I remember in the morning as well. You do understand that the doctor is a cat, right?
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Mar 5, 2023 06:28
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Dr. Bagels why when I orgasm during sex with wife do I start uncontrollably sobbing? Like 40 minutes of just ugly scream crying.
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Mar 5, 2023 06:29
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HonorableTB posted:Hello folks, here to announce Dr Bagels, licensed therapurrst, is open for questions. Please form a line and take a number and Dr Bagels will be with you shortly Do you take my insurance? Is this visit in-network?
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Mar 5, 2023 06:30
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Interestingly my cat is named Dr. Pitas
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Mar 5, 2023 06:30
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Is there a Dr. Cream Cheese to go with Dr. Bagels? Also, from which institute did Dr. Bagels receive his M.D.?
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Mar 5, 2023 06:30
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Wendigee posted:it does work on the good doctor though. I would scratch him behind the ears. He always accepts ear scritches Mumpy Puffinz posted:I have crazy anxiety problems what do you prescribe? He purrscribes lots of purrs and neck hugs (he puts his front paws around your neck when you pick him up) dr_rat posted:Dr, Bagels. I seem to be missing a leg. Had two at the start of the day, now I only seem to have one. Oh also there's a lot more blood in my room than I remember, and I seem to be in a lot more pain than I remember in the morning as well.  Dr Bagels understands your legless plight and refers you to Dr Lox, an ortho-specialist who should be able to help you with your leg issues neato burrito posted:Doctor Bagels, how do I get closer to my dad before he eventually dies?  Dr Bagels recommends scritching your dad under his chin, it's guaranteed to work! Nelson Mandingo posted:Dr. Bagels why when I orgasm during sex with wife do I start uncontrollably sobbing? Like 40 minutes of just ugly scream crying.  Dr Bagels recommends getting belly rubs post-coitus for maximum enjoyment Bloodfart McCoy posted:Do you take my insurance? Is this visit in-network? Dr Bagels is free of charge
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Mar 5, 2023 06:35
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Mumpy Puffinz posted:You do understand that the doctor is a cat, right? Look I aint exactly got money, seems it all was in the pants pocket of the leg that's gone missing, so that works out, as was sorta hoping I could like just like pay my medical bill with pats to the head. Non cat docs don't like it when you try and pay medical bills like that.
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Mar 5, 2023 06:36
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dr_rat posted:Look I aint exactly got money, seems it all was in the pants pocket of the leg that's gone missing, so that works out, as was sorta hoping I could like just like pay my medical bill with pats to the head. dude, sorry I didn't understand your situation, but Dr lox will now see you I think
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Mar 5, 2023 06:45
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Bastard Dr Bagels
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Mar 5, 2023 06:49
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:Bastard Dr Bagels obviously, have you ever met a cat that has been married?
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Mar 5, 2023 06:52
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Cats are the kind of animal who would blackmail you if they had sensitive info about you. Just saying
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Mar 5, 2023 06:58
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Icochet posted:Cats are the kind of animal who would blackmail you if they had sensitive info about you. Just saying Cats actually aren't intelligent to do something like that. Usually they'll eat the poo poo out of their own rear end in a top hat given the chance! The bastards! I'd wup their rear end but for the law!
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Mar 5, 2023 06:59
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Dr Bagels, are you HIPAA compliant?
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Mar 5, 2023 07:26
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Dr. Bagels is a QUACK I just followed his advice, poo poo myself, and now my wife just left the house. I think she's going to divorce me. I'm cold.
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Mar 5, 2023 07:32
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my 75 year old mom went to the ER tonight... shes fit and her BP was still showing 260/110. She had a horrible headache and started shaking like someone with severe degenerative disease that they have supposedly been checking her for, for over a year. We've been trying to get this sorted for 18 months and still no changes. The last test which they should have done a YEAR ago is MS and might happen tomorrow. 18 months ago she was going to fitness programs three times a week and kicking rear end. Now if she goes from sitting to standing she's light headed and she has no energy to even do basic poo poo like change the sheets on her bed. The mayo clinic is still "considering her application" even though her insurance would cover it. What do you recommend Dr. Bagels? Spinal tap finally?
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Mar 5, 2023 07:33
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Nelson Mandingo posted:Dr. Bagels is a QUACK I just followed his advice, poo poo myself, and now my wife just left the house. I think she's going to divorce me.  Dr Bagels says it's a proven medical fact that rubbing kitty bellies is good for treating low self esteem Wendigee posted:my 75 year old mom went to the ER tonight... shes fit and her BP was still showing 260/110. She had a horrible headache and started shaking like someone with severe degenerative disease that they have supposedly been checking her for, for over a year.  Dr Lox is purrplexed and will get back to you after a morning consult
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Mar 5, 2023 07:37
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thank you dr. lox, but that is what every doctor says, and then it turns out they were on nightshift and we never see them again. American Healthcare with good insurance everyone! e: i'd scratch the ears even if she dies but ill be really really sad the whole time
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Mar 5, 2023 07:42
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Nelson Mandingo posted:Dr. Bagels is a QUACK I just followed his advice, poo poo myself, and now my wife just left the house. I think she's going to divorce me. IME cats rarely quack, maybe you're confusing a chitter for a duck noise?
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Mar 5, 2023 07:43
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King Oscar or Riga?
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Mar 5, 2023 07:43
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Wendigee posted:thank you dr. lox, but that is what every doctor says, and then it turns out they were on nightshift and we never see them again. Dr Lox recommends therapeutic petting  and naps 
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Mar 5, 2023 07:45
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shes unfortunately away from her nice elderly void kitties (Sasha and Pickles) right now, but i will recommend she gets better and goes home to pet them soon. Thank you Doctor.
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Mar 5, 2023 07:52
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Dr Bagels, im depressed. Life seems harsh and cruel. I feel all alone in a threatening world, where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain.
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Mar 5, 2023 07:52
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HonorableTB posted:
Yay, Thank you Dr Bagles! IOU many head pats!
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Mar 5, 2023 07:53
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I am unclear as to Buffy's exact credentials but she is skeptical of Dr. Bagels' practice.
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Mar 5, 2023 08:31
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Want to shove my face into all these cats I miss having a cat so much [I can't where I'm living now]
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Mar 5, 2023 08:38
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dr_rat posted:Dr, Bagels. I seem to be missing a leg. Had two at the start of the day, now I only seem to have one. Oh also there's a lot more blood in my room than I remember, and I seem to be in a lot more pain than I remember in the morning as well. did you by any chance have an appointment at Dr Tiger's office before becoming symptomatic??
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Mar 5, 2023 10:48
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Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:did you by any chance have an appointment at Dr Tiger's office before becoming symptomatic?? Apparently Dr Tiger is not one of those Doc that like medical bills to be paid with pats to the head. When I started the day all I had was a sniffly noise!!!!
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Mar 5, 2023 11:49
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Dear Dr. Bagels, I seem to be eating too much sweets and doing too little physical exercise. Can you recommend me a way to get positively motivated? Yours, Sad man on the internet.
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Mar 5, 2023 13:01
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dr_rat posted:Apparently Dr Tiger is not one of those Doc that like medical bills to be paid with pats to the head. Dr Tiger is very capable, but his consultations can easily cost you an arm and a leg.
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Mar 5, 2023 13:04
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