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When I started cooking I got a reputation amongst my friends for cooking So when we were at a birthday party one of my friends brought ingredients and asked me to make something with strawberries and a recipe that she brought It called for sugar so I got sugar from the host’s cabinet and dunked the strawberries in them and made the dessert Then I took a taste I had accidentally grabbed salt instead of sugar
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Jun 18, 2023 00:36
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 18:49 |
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ActingPower posted:Goddammit, this is like the FIFTH time I've put too much pepper in a dish. I accidentally bought some of that "restaurant-grade" cracked pepper instead of the fine ground I usually use, and every time, I think, "Ah, it's okay, I just have to use less of it!" And then I never do! I made some chipotle cheddar smoked sausage a while back, and somehow had a decimal point in the wrong place or something, because I later calculated that sausage at something like 3% black pepper by weight. It's borderline inedible, but it's in my freezer where I'll slowly pick away at it. Animals shouldn't have to die in vain just because I hosed up my seasoning.
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Jun 18, 2023 13:45
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Now everything I cook with it ranges from, "God, that's peppery" to literally inedible.
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ActingPower posted:Goddammit, this is like the FIFTH time I've put too much pepper in a dish. I accidentally bought some of that "restaurant-grade" cracked pepper instead of the fine ground I usually use, and every time, I think, "Ah, it's okay, I just have to use less of it!" And then I never do! There's no such thing as too much pepp- JoshGuitar posted:something like 3% black pepper by weight. . Okay, maybe a little too much is possible. I think people like me are why the spice wars happened.
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Jun 24, 2023 16:14
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I poured out a generous amount of powdered ginger on my stirfry chicken and then realized I'd grabbed the garlic powder by mistake. I need to put some reflective safety tape on that jar.
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Jun 25, 2023 16:26
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I made a vegan sausage soup with sausages I hadn't tried this way before. I've used seitan sausages in the past and those stay firm due to the gluten, but these had stuff like agar & carragen to keep the sausages firm. I guess boiling them released those ingredients into the broth, and I was surprised when the broth coagulated as soon as the soup lost a bit of heat from it. Pretty much edible, but the surprise was very unpleasant. Gotta go for those seitan sausages in the future...
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Jun 27, 2023 19:44
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ActingPower posted:Goddammit, this is like the FIFTH time I've put too much pepper in a dish. I accidentally bought some of that "restaurant-grade" cracked pepper instead of the fine ground I usually use, and every time, I think, "Ah, it's okay, I just have to use less of it!" And then I never do! I made a baked potato for my husband - he took one bite of it and stopped - I put too much Pride of Szeged Authentic Hungarian Hot Paprika on it - I forget he does not like things as "spicy" as I do. Basically a russet potato, covered in olive oil (not extra virgin) and when it was done I put a couple slices of butter on it after cutting it open, salt some cracked black pepper that I grinded, I skipped the MSG because he is stupid and believes in Chinese restraunt syndrome even though it is fake. And then a ton of hot paprika. Oh funny I was at a restraunt called Yummy Yummy in Chicago when I lived there and the people next to us asked them for a salt shaker. WTF Chinese food is already full of salt from soy sauce and just about every other kind of sauce.
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Jul 6, 2023 17:18
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Many years ago, I had some friends over and had busted out veggies and homemade hummus. After a couple of beers, we were running low on hummus, and I had the thought that I probably had all the ingredients for tzatziki sauce on hand. I was almost right, except that the yogurt in my fridge was vanilla. It wasn't the worst thing I've ever tasted, but it just wasn't edible either.
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Jul 8, 2023 03:09
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I almost made a food oops. I was kinda buzzed and decided I wanted to make some potato chips. Took out the death machine (mandolin) and decided "gently caress this" I am not cutting off my fingers for potato chips.
nunsexmonkrock fucked around with this message at 00:32 on Jul 11, 2023 |
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Jul 10, 2023 23:34
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Wear a cut proof glove, drunk mandoline can’t hurt you then
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Jul 10, 2023 23:38
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I prefer to live life on the edge! (Of a blade), but I have been looking into those any good recommendations on a brand?
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Jul 11, 2023 00:34
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Steve Yun posted:Wear a cut proof glove, drunk mandoline can’t hurt you then Are these ones good before I order them? https://www.amazon.com/Dowellife-Re...C81&sr=8-8&th=1
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Jul 14, 2023 19:57
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No idea! I bought a MicroPlane brand glove first because it was a brand name, but then added another one that was no name. I suspect they’re fine but haven’t tested any to see if they’re better than each other
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Jul 14, 2023 20:11
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Oh I have a microplane but I use it for grating parmesean and zesting lemons - I don't think it will work to wear on my hand hahaha. but I will look up microplane gloves. Thank you!
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Jul 14, 2023 22:35
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I originally had two Microplanr gloves but then one day my friends came over with a bunch of oranges from their tree to make marmalade and one of them chopped them up into slices wearing one of my gloves and by the end the fingertips were gone and there were Kevlar threads in the orange slices He didn’t get any cuts tho so I guess they worked
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Jul 14, 2023 22:51
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Not mine, but this is truly spectatular. It's supposed to be carbonara.
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Jul 15, 2023 00:19
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Well it isn't. I don't know what it is, but not that.
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Jul 15, 2023 00:59
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Steve Yun posted:I originally had two Microplanr gloves but then one day my friends came over with a bunch of oranges from their tree to make marmalade and one of them chopped them up into slices wearing one of my gloves and by the end the fingertips were gone and there were Kevlar threads in the orange slices I ordereed this one because of your reccommendation https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0B7ZCD8NG/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 I don't really keep oranges bu there is always both a lemon and a lime in a ziplock in my freezer haha! Edit - uh oh! I made some mozzarella - it turned out to be too wet and just made the pizza crust I made that was resting in the fridge soggy. I think from now I am sticking with the mozarella in the bag and use a 50/50 mix of low moisture part-skim and low moisture whole milk mozzarella, maybe some chedder and provalone too. nunsexmonkrock fucked around with this message at 16:47 on Jul 15, 2023 |
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Jul 15, 2023 04:38
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Not mine, but I think it counts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8fKPYStGEA
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Jul 16, 2023 19:44
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Uh oh! I made potato chips for the first time -I made them sweet Paprika, black pepper and garlick flavored with some salt and msg. But the recipe that I viewed called for 4 potatoes. - Well since it's my first time making them I reduced everything down to one potato but apparently I did not reduce the salt enough. The chips actually came out tasty if a bit salty, now I know - "REDUCE THE SALT" lol. All in all a good experiment and I learned things So I will take that as a win for next time I make chips!
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Jul 17, 2023 08:13
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Recently I thought, well, i like to add some vanilla protein powder to an iced coffee, surely i can add it to a hot coffee too. it's like coffee mate it is not like coffee mate all the proteins denatured and there was a thick layer of sand floating on my coffee don't recommend it
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Jul 18, 2023 03:43
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I tried a linguine and since I don't like Alfredo, but wanted to try, I decided on spicy. First gently caress up was way too much ghost pepper sauce. Second gently caress up was the grinder lid being partially on and a bunch of peppercorns going into the pasta. Third gently caress up was refusing to bin it. I powered through a mildly gross and very spicy pan over a weekend.
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Jul 18, 2023 18:09
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I was sick recently, and my wife made some chicken noodle soup. I don't know what she did, but she massively misjudged the amount of salt and it wound up being entirely too salty. Gamely, I persevered. Every time either of us tried eating it, it gave us diarrhea.
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Jul 19, 2023 02:18
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I cook sous vide chicken breast for my evening meal most days. It's easy to prep a lot of breasts in advance, I can just take one out of the freezer and dump it in a water bath then eat it when I am ready without thinking about it too much. The only effort was searing it each time in a pan. To that end, I got what was advertised as a searing torch. I put the cooked breast on some foil on a tray, turned the torch on, then learned that MAPP gas apparently burns hot enough to melt foil.
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Jul 19, 2023 10:44
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Killingyouguy! posted:Recently I thought, well, i like to add some vanilla protein powder to an iced coffee, surely i can add it to a hot coffee too. it's like coffee mate I once added some lemon juice into tea with milk in it - thinking "This will be amazing because it will be both like a regular tea and and iced tea!" - well it was not amazing. Now I just drink my tea with either milk or lemon in it depending on my mood - never the both. But that was many years ago that I learnedd that lesson.
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Jul 20, 2023 21:56
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nunsexmonkrock posted:I once added some lemon juice into tea with milk in it - thinking "This will be amazing because it will be both like a regular tea and and iced tea!" - well it was not amazing. Now I just drink my tea with either milk or lemon in it depending on my mood - never the both. But that was many years ago that I learnedd that lesson. I did that at a restaurant years and years ago and it curdled. It was an instructive experience.
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Jul 21, 2023 06:41
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Not a cooking gently caress-up, but an equipment gently caress-up: My 20+ year old espresso machine has long been overdue for a good cleaning, gasket change, etc. The shower screen is attached to the grouphead by a screw in the center. I initially tried using manual screwdrivers to undo it, to no avail. Then I went out and got an electric one, which I was sure would do the trick. Still no luck. Also the slot in the screw was getting a little deformed by this point and the screwdriver head would occasionally slip and catch the screen. Then I had the brilliant Idea of trying an impact driver. Surely that would be able to break it loose. Now I have an old-rear end espresso machine with a mangled shower screen attached to the grouphead by a stripped-out flathead screw. Replacement parts are probably only available from Australia, the only country I can find where my particular model is still commonly sold. And I'm really not looking forward to trying to drill out the drat screw. I don't want to risk further damage to the machine as I can't afford to replace the whole thing. 
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Jul 22, 2023 03:47
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Meaty Ore posted:Not a cooking gently caress-up, but an equipment gently caress-up: My 20+ year old espresso machine has long been overdue for a good cleaning, gasket change, etc. The shower screen is attached to the grouphead by a screw in the center. I initially tried using manual screwdrivers to undo it, to no avail. Then I went out and got an electric one, which I was sure would do the trick. Still no luck. Also the slot in the screw was getting a little deformed by this point and the screwdriver head would occasionally slip and catch the screen. Then I had the brilliant Idea of trying an impact driver. Surely that would be able to break it loose. Post about it in the AI stupid questions thread. Those nerds love a puzzle like this.
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Jul 22, 2023 06:31
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Hell yeah we do. Also the blacksmithing and metal working thread in DIY. One goon just custom turned a single screw for another goons restoration project.
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Jul 22, 2023 22:23
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Well, I got the screw out. Turns out the problem likely was more the shower head than the screw--after trying (and failing) to drill out and remove the screw, I gave up and cut off the already-damaged shower head with a pair of tin snips. Once that was removed, the screw came out easily, and appeared to be only about hand-tight. So the center of the screen must have been deformed, or bonded to the screw by old coffee gunk, or something. Anyways, it's gone, and on the plus side, everything I need to replace are standard parts used across a wide variety of manufacturers and are both cheap and readily available in the US. So still a gently caress-up, but not nearly as bad as I thought.
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Aug 7, 2023 06:38
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I wish I had entertaining cooking fuckups, usually I just tend to transpose two numbers when reading a recipe for what temperature to set ovens at. Not sure why it keeps happening, I tend to have perfect reading comprehension for everything else. I think probably my "worst" cooking fuckup was the time I learned just how much rhubarb does not want you to eat it. See, it contains oxalic acid, and that's Pretty Bad, so usually when you do any rhubarb-related cooking, you use something to knock that out(not sure how it works, perhaps binds it or something?) so you don't ruin yourself, but it also tends to mark the rhubarb a bit milder, and I like sour things. So I, being the genius I am, and needing to boil down some rhubarb and strawberries for a rhubarb-strawberry compote, decide to forego it. Well! It turns out that un-"tempered" rhubarb is pissed-off enough to strip layers off the inside of your pot, so now if I ever use that pot, about half of it will burn things and they'll stick, while the other half, that apparently got stripped less, works perfectly well. Aside from that it's just a number of cases of perfectly normal poorly-chosen amounts of things, spilling the pepper pot(that was one hell of a spicy potato salad, cleared my loving sinuses), etc. Oh and then there was the time I tried to make peach-infused water and instead ended up with a very effective emetic, don't ask me how, teenage me did not understand anything related to food or drink.
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Aug 8, 2023 16:31
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Accidentally made strawberry-rubidium compote.
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Aug 8, 2023 19:52
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Had a fun one seven years ago: This is what happens when you try to melt an entire container of grated parmesan by putting it in the microwave for six minutes: it turns into a hard, porous, noxious brick of cheese, and also melts through the bottom of the tupperware. Ended up having to open the windows because it was stinking up the whole dorm. Luckily this was late at night, or I would have had to answer to my roommates. In my dark moments, I want to try again with better-quality parmesan and shorter heating times, just to see if there was any basis at all to this venture. But then I come to my senses.
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Aug 8, 2023 22:43
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 18:49 |
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This is not exactly a food oops, more of me improvising. I squeezed a bunch of lemons to make lemonade and then I realized "Oh poo poo! I don't have any sugar!" but then I realized I do have sucralose (basically splenda but without the fillers which the first ingredient in splenda is dextrose - meaning sugar) it only took 1/16 of a tsp to sweeten it up.
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Aug 30, 2023 08:12
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