The Susan Crisis

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Funky See Funky Do: Aug 20, 2013; STILL TRYING HARD

*burst into the UN*

HOLD ON A MINUTE!

Sudan didn't just fall into civil war it was undermined by....

*pointing at the USA

THE CIA!

# ? Apr 23, 2023 09:02

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 8, 2024 11:23

Shinjobi: Jul 10, 2008; Gravy Boat 2k

Sudaniel

# ? Apr 23, 2023 09:07

Wee: Dec 16, 2022; by Fluffdaddy

# ? Apr 23, 2023 09:11

TK8325: Sep 22, 2014

oh sudanna dont you cry for me

# ? Apr 23, 2023 09:17

Devils Affricate: Jan 22, 2010

Funky See Funky Do posted:

*burst into the UN*

HOLD ON A MINUTE!

Sudan didn't just fall into civil war it was undermined by....

*pointing at the USA

THE CIA!

Any truth to thsi?

# ? Apr 23, 2023 10:19

Negostrike: Aug 15, 2015

This is hosed. Public order can just vanish in a few days. We take so many things for granted.

# ? Apr 23, 2023 10:28

Bula Vinaka: Oct 21, 2020; beach side

# ? Apr 23, 2023 10:34

Private Cumshoe: Feb 15, 2019; AAAAAAAGAGHAAHGGAH

Suze....

# ? Apr 23, 2023 10:53

Szyznyk: Mar 4, 2008

There must be some descendant of Lord Kitchener around who we can send down there to straighten things out.

# ? Apr 23, 2023 12:00

Mega64: May 23, 2008; I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

Funky See Funky Do posted:

*burst into the UN*

HOLD ON A MINUTE!

Sudan didn't just fall into civil war it was undermined by....

*pointing at the USA

THE CIA!

And I also broke their treaties. :smug:

# ? Apr 23, 2023 12:26

Bula Vinaka: Oct 21, 2020; beach side

# ? Apr 23, 2023 12:41

ArmedZombie: Jun 6, 2004

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dn2vfY1D990

# ? Apr 23, 2023 12:41

Robo Reagan: Feb 12, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

susan has always been a hot mess op

# ? Apr 23, 2023 12:48

Call Your Grandma: Jan 17, 2010

this seems like a p big overreaction to just a couple of stuck boats

# ? Apr 23, 2023 12:57

Booty Pageant: Apr 20, 2012

susans haven't been the same since suzanne

# ? Apr 23, 2023 13:02

Comstar: Apr 20, 2007; Are you happy now?

Don't worry westerners. The British Army is sending their best Major General.

Also the Ghost of Winston Churchill is very disappointed.

quote:

It was the morning of September 1, 1898, the day before the Battle of Omdurman. Lieutenant Winston Churchill of the 4th Queen�s Own Hussars rode out with four squadrons of the 21st Lancers to scout the approaches to Omdurman, a Sudanese village on the west bank of the Nile opposite Khartoum, the epicentre of a revolt that had rocked the very foundations of the British Empire.

An Anglo-Egyptian army under Maj. Gen. Sir Herbert Kitchener was a few miles behind the cavalry screen. Kitchener�s object was to reconquer the Sudan, restore order, and forestall any encroachments from opportunistic European rivals.

The British horsemen cautiously advanced over the sun-baked plain, the eye-numbing sandy desolation relieved by a few thorn bushes, scrub, and patches of grass. Churchill and the lancers ascended a low ridge to scan the horizon. Officers raised their field glasses and were rewarded with a sweeping panorama.

Omdurman itself was in sight, and Churchill recalled later that �to the left the river, steel gray in the morning light, forked into two channels, and on a tongue of land between them the gleam of a white building showed among the trees.�

The white building was part of Khartoum, capital of the Sudan, where the Blue Nile and White Nile converge to form Africa�s greatest river. Nearby, there seemed to be a long, dark smear that the British assumed was a zareba, a thorn bush barrier that commonly served as a prickly fortification in the treeless land.

Some of the enemy, whom the British called Dervishes, could be seen lurking behind the barrier, confirming the officers� first assumption.

The lancers advanced, supported by Egyptian cavalry, the Camel Corps, and some horse artillery. Dervish horsemen came forward to meet them but were sent packing by dismounted troopers firing Lee-Medford carbines at 800 yards. The lancers halted and waited for the enemy to make the next move.

About 11 am, the distant zareba suddenly sprang into malevolent life. It was made of men, not thorns � thousands of them, so thick that they made an undulating black wave. Churchill was awed by the sight.

The roiling mass, he said, was �four miles from end to end and, as it seemed, in five great divisions, this mighty army advanced swiftly. Above them waved hundreds of banners, and the sun, glinting on many thousands of hostile spear points, spread a sparkling cloud.�

The young lieutenant rushed back to alert Kitchener to the enemy�s latest moves. Filled with a growing sense of urgency, Churchill galloped up the hillside to get his bearings.

Once on the crest he could plainly see the Dervish army�s dark masses in stark relief against the brown, sandy plain. Turning around, he could also view the Anglo-Egyptian army, some 24,000 men, drawn up with their backs to the Nile.

The two armies, separated by the hill�s looming slopes, could not yet see each other, but an enormous clash seemed inevitable. Churchill drank in the mesmerizing spectacle � an irresistible wall of Dervishes about to collide with an immovable force of British and Egyptian soldiers.

His sense of duty breaking the spell, Churchill pulled the reins of his horse and galloped down the hill in search of Kitchener. He briefly dismounted, in part to collect his thoughts and calm his rising excitement.

The lieutenant had seen action before, in India, but this was going to be a major battle, and his pulse quickened at the idea.

The action shaping up at Omdurman might well decide the fate of a continent and the destiny of a people.

Just be sure you bring a Maxim Machine Gun.

# ? Apr 23, 2023 13:39

Bula Vinaka: Oct 21, 2020; beach side

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4w0Y_GiI50

# ? Apr 23, 2023 13:44

BigBadSteve: Apr 29, 2009

Comstar posted:

Don't worry westerners. The British Army is sending their best Major General.

Also the Ghost of Winston Churchill is very disappointed.

Just be sure you bring a Maxim Machine Gun.

For anyone else blueballed by this:
https://www.britishbattles.com/war-in-egypt-and-sudan/battle-of-omdurman

# ? Apr 23, 2023 14:08

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

I can fix her

# ? Apr 23, 2023 14:37

OB-GYN Kenobi: Dec 4, 2017

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

I can fix her

I'll bite

And how do you propose you do this?

# ? Apr 23, 2023 15:00

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Angry Salami posted:

As sad as it seems, the Susan crisis is a natural phenomena. We hit peak Susan more than fifty years ago, and the name has been in decline since the 1960s. Where ones tens of thousands of Susans were born every year, now only a few hundred babies are given that name.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvh6NLqKRfs

# ? Apr 24, 2023 09:00

SidneyIsTheKiller: Jul 16, 2019; I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter
in my grandmother's journal.

She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences...

Sudan be all like:

# ? Apr 24, 2023 09:18

YeahTubaMike: Mar 24, 2005; *hic* Gotta finish thish . . .; Doctor Rope

I had a dream about trying to escape Sudan with Jerry Blevins & Jan from The Office. :raise:

edit:

SidneyIsTheKiller posted:

Sudan be all like:

Highly apropos. :golfclap:

# ? Apr 24, 2023 15:25

hot cocoa on the couch: Dec 8, 2009

who, theoretically, is the "ukraine" faction and who is the "russia" faction? just hypotehtically if you had to categorize them,.?

# ? Apr 24, 2023 15:42

flubber nuts: Oct 5, 2005

Oozin

# ? Apr 24, 2023 15:43

goatface: Dec 5, 2007; I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.; Grimey Drawer

hot cocoa on the couch posted:

who, theoretically, is the "ukraine" faction and who is the "russia" faction? just hypotehtically if you had to categorize them,.?

The Wagner group have links with both sides.

E - so I guess the Ukraine faction would be "everybody else trapped in the middle".

# ? Apr 24, 2023 15:55

Private Cumshoe: Feb 15, 2019; AAAAAAAGAGHAAHGGAH

Is Susan ok?

# ? Apr 25, 2023 03:41

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

Did someone help Susan yet?

# ? Apr 25, 2023 03:53

WAR CRIME GIGOLO: Oct 3, 2012; The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

Susan is now once again at a 72 hour Ceasefire with little confidence that it will last that long. By Wednesday or tomorrow we may see renewed fighting occur once again in the capital.

Both sides are probably using the ceasefire to bring more men and materials closer to the spot fires occuring all over the capital city. And beat the government defenders in maneuvering ability.

YOU CAN see from this map that the government is on a dicey position with the RSD controlling the main roads out of the city center.

Things are looking grim all around.

# ? Apr 25, 2023 04:05

naem: May 29, 2011

does anyone have a rundown of why this is happening or who is involved? what are the motivations for fighting

# ? Apr 25, 2023 14:28

Tiberius Christ: Mar 4, 2009

dear god please send troops to help poor susan

# ? Apr 25, 2023 14:32

WAR CRIME GIGOLO: Oct 3, 2012; The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

naem posted:

does anyone have a rundown of why this is happening or who is involved? what are the motivations for fighting

https://www.google.com/amp/s/thecon...led-past-203985

# ? Apr 25, 2023 14:36

Typo: Aug 19, 2009; Chernigov Military Aviation Lyceum
The Fighting Slowpokes

naem posted:

does anyone have a rundown of why this is happening or who is involved? what are the motivations for fighting

basically there's two factions of the sudanese military: the regular army and this quasi-private militia group

the army general and the militia general took power as co-rulers after the previous dictator got overthrown

they don't like to share power and they are fighting each other over who gets to be new dictator

there is no ideological/policy difference between the two

# ? Apr 25, 2023 14:39