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SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


Kentucky Derby week has claimed the lives of 6 equestrian athletes already this week. And they still haven't run the Derby race. Pretty clear, as with all derbies, the last horse still standing wins!

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Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
if they're going to kill the horses anyway why don't we just have a good old fashioned Ben-Hur style chariot race?

ok i read an article, it's like 'the horse suffered an ankle sprain so we killed it'. great sport

Mozi fucked around with this message at 23:26 on May 6, 2023

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


Mozi posted:

if they're going to kill the horses anyway why don't we just have a good old fashioned Ben-Hur style chariot race?

ok i read an article, it's like 'the horse suffered an ankle sprain so we killed it'. great sport

Yes, the horse would not be able to recover* so they had to euthanize it.


* Wouldn't be able to race again and would be a money pit for the rest of it's life.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Would have been a better sport if it was just one unarmed dude vs a horde of horses, probably less dead horses in fact.

Mega64
May 23, 2008

I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.
Remember the HBO show with horses they canceled because they kept killing the horses?

Maybe race an animal that doesn't die so drat easily.

Beachcomber
May 21, 2007

Another day in paradise.


Slippery Tilde
The number of dead horses is 7 now.

Mega64
May 23, 2008

I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.
Please pray for all the dead horses.

Wifi Toilet
Oct 1, 2004

Toilet Rascal
Just run the races without horses, make the jockeys run the track.

e: and they have to still wear their outfits

Wifi Toilet fucked around with this message at 01:17 on May 7, 2023

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011



Wifi Toilet posted:

Just run the races without horses, make the jockeys run the track.

e: and they have to still wear their outfits

someone's got a fetish

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011



I think if you own race horses and one gets injured and can't run anymore you should be legally required to support it for the rest of its life. Trust me those idiot fuckers can afford it.

Schweinhund
Oct 23, 2004

:derp:   :kayak:                                     
They spent like a year trying to save Barbaro when he broke his leg and he died anyway. Horses are fragile.

Loden Taylor
Aug 11, 2003

at least we'll get some good horse meat from this

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008


Gravy Boat 2k
Alas poor Freckles

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER

Mega64 posted:

Remember the HBO show with horses they canceled because they kept killing the horses?

Maybe race an animal that doesn't die so drat easily.

Yeah, Luck. I gotta say Dustin Hoffman wasn't that convincing as a crime boss but it had some decent songs in it.

Space Kablooey
May 6, 2009


Shinjobi posted:

Alas poor Freckles

freckles 1-7 thought of a sprained ankle and died

flubber nuts
Oct 5, 2005


SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


Wifi Toilet posted:

Just run the races without horses, make the jockeys run the track.

e: and they have to still wear their outfits

That's problematic though too because the jockeys are all little people and people will get offended still at making them do sports for amusement. Even though it would be amusing to have a 400 meter dash with little people.

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009

Funny hats should be a dress requirement at the derby

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Henry Lee Mucus
Dec 11, 2003

All horses should be killed, along with all cats and dogs, and new cities should be built from their bones

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