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they said they wanted 5 years of experience and a masters degree like come on at that point you’re asking for a henchman or maybe even a mini boss not a goon
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Jun 7, 2023 00:05
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they asked what i would say if i saw max payne coming around the corner and i answered “wake him” 
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Jun 7, 2023 00:06
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they asked what my preferred weapons are and i said “something cool and advanced like a bazooker or flame thrower” like that would impress them or show initiative or something
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Jun 7, 2023 00:19
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looks like it's not bullet time after all 
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Jun 7, 2023 01:07
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is it my fault that he’s so easy to hit when he jump that slow?
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Jun 7, 2023 04:10
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"your like the guy from drive and duce biggalow european gigolo? i dont think those movies even came out yet."
slumpy |
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Jun 7, 2023 05:28
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*Changes the music to something upbeat* |
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Jun 7, 2023 05:37
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laying awake in the middle of the night staring at the ceiling just saying to myself “what the gently caress does ‘wake him’ even mean”
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Jun 7, 2023 09:11
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“where do you see yourself in five years” “well hopefully not dead or well— i get that is part of the job i just mean… well like. you know what i mean” “i really don’t”
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Jun 7, 2023 09:13
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i think i saw one of the interviewers write “terminal neuroticism” at one point. i don’t think that’s a real thing
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Jun 7, 2023 09:17
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These enormous spiked pauldrons really sent the wrong message. What was I thinking. Stupid, STUPID.
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Jun 7, 2023 14:06
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The market is really messed up, after I got laid off from RED I tried to get a job at Overwatch and the first thing they asked me was if I was okay shooting "adult content" they didn't even ASK how I would defend the point |
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Jun 7, 2023 14:49
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"before we begin, is there anything i can get you? water?" "um, yeah, I actually got a bit of a headache. do you have any painkillers?" my interviewer smiles REAL big. "do I???" and he starts walking to one of the many first aid stations placed every 20 meters or so. but then I say, "oh, but no ibuprofen, i can only take acetaminophen" he gets visibly pissed off and says, "thank you for your time, you fuckin shmuck"
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Jun 7, 2023 14:53
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I told them I don't gently caress with dream sequences because I don't want to hear his dead baby crying and they told me they would get back to me 
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Jun 7, 2023 14:54
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Ominous Jazz posted:The market is really messed up, after I got laid off from RED I tried to get a job at Overwatch and the first thing they asked me was if I was okay shooting "adult content" they didn't even ASK how I would defend the point i have a friend who worked part time as a resident evil zombie and most of the time it was great, good pay and workable hours but once in a while you’d just have to deal with a leon kennedy running around completely nude. having to keep a straigh face while you’re being roundhouse kicked by someone with their dick just swinging around.
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Jun 7, 2023 14:59
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FutonForensic posted:"before we begin, is there anything i can get you? water?" lol
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Jun 7, 2023 14:59
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i said 'yes' when they asked if I was adverse to conditions which may freeze off my butt
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Jun 7, 2023 18:56
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they asked me to estimate how many bullets I could take before I died so they could figure out what floor to put me on????? how am I supposed to answer a question like that without knowing the caliber????
---------------- |
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Jun 7, 2023 19:38
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"If you were in a comic strip, what onomatopoeia would you use for machine gun fire?" I mean honestly, what kind of ice breaker is that?! |
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Jun 7, 2023 20:25
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What do you mean I don't get to monologue?? |
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Jun 7, 2023 23:03
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*walking away joker from batmanishly after bombing my job interview for an entry level job as a max payne enemy*
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Jun 7, 2023 23:17
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Awesome winter sig by Symbolic, love it!
Dick Bastardly posted:*walking away joker from batmanishly after bombing my job interview for an entry level job as a max payne enemy* sorry about ur boner
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Jun 8, 2023 00:07
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when i interviewed i tried to leverage my 4 years experience as a mini payne enemy but they didn't seem to go for it
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Jun 8, 2023 01:44
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Max Payne for my real friends, champagne for my... wait let me start over, I didn't do it right. No I swear to god I was leading up to something
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Jun 8, 2023 01:46
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"your resume and past experience seem to be in line with what we're looking for. we currently have an open position for Mook Perpetually Standing At Urinal Taking A Piss, would that be suitable for you?" "oh... is that the only position available? I'm, uh, pee-shy, you see..." (interviewer sighs, visibly disappointed)
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Jun 8, 2023 02:13
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I want to be the mook watching Address Unknown, which is actually the best part about the Max Payne series |
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Jun 8, 2023 03:19
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i asked how much standing around there was you know because of my sciatica and they sorta left the interview before answering but because of ada protections i am owed an answer should i sue???? |
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Jun 8, 2023 09:43
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oh god i did a boston accent
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Jun 8, 2023 13:15
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Can't believe I mixed up the interview dates and showed up in my pyramid head suit 🤦 |
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Jun 8, 2023 13:28
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its not my fault i'm named min payne, this is surely some kind of discrimination suit
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Jun 8, 2023 15:09
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they get real exasperated if you say you don't like Lords and Ladies
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Jun 8, 2023 17:33
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all I said was that I liked television more than mirrors, is that a crime? |
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Jun 8, 2023 19:02
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Then they wanted me to write an essay. An ESSAY, on how I'm "passionate and dedicated about getting shot in a hallway."
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Jun 8, 2023 21:46
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Apparently I was too qualified for the job because my vocabulary extends beyond the sentences "there he is!", "get him!" and "aughh".
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Jun 8, 2023 23:45
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not dead yet posted:Apparently I was too qualified for the job because my vocabulary extends beyond the sentences "there he is!", "get him!" and "aughh". let me hear you laugh disingenuously and say "pain to the MAX" |
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Jun 9, 2023 01:24
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that ok, op, there's no point in being an enemy of max payne |
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Jun 9, 2023 19:09
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Mein leben! Wait, ah poo poo.... |
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Jun 9, 2023 20:49
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Buttchocks posted:Mein leben! Wait, ah poo poo.... “it’s payne!” “whack ‘im!” “THEY’LL BURY YOU IN A LUNCH BOX”
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Jun 9, 2023 21:19
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| # ? May 3, 2024 04:13 |
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watho posted:“it’s payne!” 
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Jun 9, 2023 21:25
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