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If you’ve been watching MMA for a while, especially the UFC, you may have heard of a title holder who is arguably the most dominant champion in the history of the sport. Was it Brock Lesnar? Could it be Khabib? Perhaps it was even Fedor? Anderson Silva? If you think you know the answer, you’re wrong. Ancient texts squirreled away in the holes of the internet tell of a champion who is so feared, they don’t even have a name. I am talking of course about VACANT, one of the toughest and most threatening forces not only in the UFC, but in all of Mixed Martial Arts. An agent of chaos sent to us by the Mixed Martial Arts Gods, they have the stealth of a sniper, as well as the strength of a viper. They are, genuinely, the ultimate fighter and today you will bear witness to this modern warrior. Wait…why are you rolling your eyes at me? I’m being serious. This apparition we’ve come to call VACANT really is the best ever in the UFC. They have the most title reigns in the UFC, they even smash the total title reign length. Now, you may be thinking, “What about Anderson Silva?” Well I have some bad news for you, he’s a decoy used to distract you from the true horror of reality. The UFC don’t want to admit there’s this eldritch horror who keeps taking their championship belts away from them so they used a kind bald man to distract us. However, after decades of research, months of writing, and watching hours of recommended videos through YouTube’s algorithm, I am here to present to you the total history of VACANT, the specter of MMA.  Author’s artistic depiction of VACANT First Sightings The first sighting of VACANT came in the long forgotten year of 1998. The excellent and criminally underrated movie Fallen had just been released into cinemas. The film, fittingly, tells the story of a demon who comes to be obsessed with possessing Denzel Washington’s character who is committed to stopping them. In January of 1998, Randy Couture was stripped of his UFC Heavyweight championship through the machinations of VACANT in the form of a contract dispute. This marks VACANT’s first ever title reign. It’s at this time VACANT seems to have grown obsessed with possessing the UFC’s championship belts, through any means necessary. They would be able to hold onto the title until Bas Rutten defeated them on May 7, 1999 at UFC 20 when VACANT took on the corporeal form of Kevin Randleman. However, despite this setback VACANT was able to quickly reclaim the championship by tricking Rutten into moving to Light Heavyweight and also causing training injuries onto his one-time foe. Once again, VACANT held the object of their desire. During this time, Kevin Randleman would be able to shake VACANT’s grasp on their body, forcing VACANT to transfer themselves into Pete Williams and on November 19, 1999 at UFC 23 Randleman wrestled the championship away from them. VACANT was, once again, without its object of desire. This would not be for long as they would quickly move to the Light Heavyweight division to convince Frank Shamrock there was not enough competition in the UFC and that they should vacate the UFC Light Heavyweight title belt on November 24, 1999. Days after being exorcised from the UFC Heavyweight belt, VACANT claimed the Light Heavyweight title becoming the first ever two-division UFC champion. VACANT needed a new host and would find one in Wanderlei Silva who they thought would aid them in defeating Tito Ortiz at UFC 25 on April 14, 2000. This, however, would not be and VACANT would lose and be left without a championship to covet seemingly vanquished from this realm.  Possible representation of VACANT’s true form. Art by Bruce Pennington A Second Coming For a time, it seemed as though VACANT was banished from this plane of existence. Years went by without any sighting of the fiend until Marc 23, 2002 when VACANT was alleged to be able to trick Jens Pulver, the UFC Lightweight Champion, to enter contract disputes with the UFC resulting in them being stripped of the title. Acting quickly to counter VACANT’s machinations the UFC enacted a tournament to establish a new champion. However, the champion of the MMA Gods would not allow their chosen warrior to be so easily vanquished. The lightweight tournament finals would end in a draw between BJ Penn & Caol Uno at UFC 41 on February 28, 2003, allowing VACANT to maintain control. Some say the various cultists of the MMA Gods were able to infiltrate the New Jersey athletic commission to allow for such a thing to happen. The UFC, seeing this as a division where they could not contend with VACANT’s powers, would choose to abandon attempting to excise the demon from the lightweight title. For the time being, at least. Simultaneously, VACANT began a new assault on the UFC heavyweight division. On July 26, 2002 Josh Barnett’s post-fight drug test was reportedly tampered with by followers of VACANT so that anabolic steroids were found. He would subsequently be stripped of the UFC Heavyweight title as a result of these efforts. For a third time, VACANT had claimed the divisional belt. For months they loomed over the heavyweight division until Ricco Rodriguez was possessed by VACANT in a bought against a former pawn in VACANT’s schemes, Randy Couture. However, when the two fought in battle on September 27, 2002 at UFC 39, Couture was able to defeat VACANT regaining the UFC Heavyweight title. The celebrations did not last long however, as VACANT floated down to the Middleweight division and convinced Murilo Bustamante he would be richer in PRIDE FC if they would just grant VACANT control of the UFC Middleweight championship. Bustamante fell for this ploy and did just that, fooled by the demon’s honeyed words. VACANT was now a four divisional champion. Not content, VACANT returned to heavyweight and once again sent their followers to tamper with post-fight drug tests to cause Tim Sylvia to test positive for steroids on October 15, 2003. Much like with Barnett, VACANT’s actions caused Tim Sylvia to be stripped of the title giving them control of the belt once more. VACANT was a now a three division champion simultaneously, a full decade before McGregor could claim to be a lowly Champ-Champ. This did not satisfy the wraith, and on May 17, 2004 they once again claimed another championship, this time the UFC Welterweight title when they whispered poisoned words into the ear of BJ Penn convincing them to leave the UFC for K-1. Much like with Bustamante, all Penn had to do was give the belt to VACANT and they could see themselves grow richer than if they stayed in the UFC. VACANT’s control of the UFC Heavyweight championship would come to an end on June 19, 2004 when Frank Mir defeated Tim Sylvia, VACANT’s new host, at UFC 48 casting the specter out. Sensing weakness, the UFC then attempted to purge the UFC Welterweight championship by having Matt Hughes and Georges St-Pierre face off at UFC 50 On October 22, 2004. Luckily, this did just the trick and VACANT’s miasma was removed from another UFC title belt. Now on the offensive for the first time, the UFC sought next to purify the UFC Middleweight championship. On February 5, 2005 at UFC 51 they were successful for a third time in a row. VACANT was removed from all the title belts. The lightweight title is argued to be meaningless as the UFC had shut down the division during this time, limiting VACANT’s influence and control. This success in eliminating VACANT would be short lived as on August 12, 2005 they once again claimed the UFC Heavyweight title by causing Frank Mir’s motorcycle to crash, injuring the champion and forcing him to relinquish the belt. However, the UFC were quick to act and were able to secure the safety of the belt through ensuring Andrei Arlovski took control of the belt through the occult magic of using an interim belt. This deception angered VACANT, but it would prove to be a useful tool to trick the spirit. For two years after this, VACANT was once again seemingly destroyed. The UFC experienced a time of relative stability. On October 14, 2006 the final vestige of VACANT’s lingering presence was removed when the UFC purged the fiend from the UFC Lightweight championship at UFC 64. In hindsight, this would prove to be a foolish action, and would only reinvigorate VACANT’s fury and tenacity. After a year of plotting, on December 8, 2007 VACANT would reclaim the UFC Lightweight championship title through their favorite trick, a positive steroid test result. However, VACANT seems to have been still groggy from their slumber and their reclamation of a UFC belt was shortlived. The UFC discovered a new way to vanquish their foe, ritual sacrifice. On January 19, 2008 UFC 80, the UFC sacrificed Joe Stevenson through a blood ritual overseen by BJ Penn, angry at VACANT’s previous deception and seeking to get revenge. The gambit worked and once again VACANT was banished to the ethereal plane from whence it came. This covers the first portion of the history of VACANT, but dear god…we’re only at 2008.
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Jul 16, 2023 14:10
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The Second Second Coming When last we left, VACANT was seemingly defeated by the UFC. Between the years of 2008 and 2013 things were incredibly calm and stable for the UFC title picture across all the available weight classes. Champions came and went, with new divisional belts added to the UFC through their merger with the WEC, but never during this time did VACANT gain power. The Pax Pilae ended when, on December 13, 2013 (a Friday I might add), beloved champion and dinosaur fan Georges St-Pierre announced he would be taking a break from the sport and would thus relinquish his title. We know for a fact that Georges is descended from angels and is far to pure to succumb to the machinations of VACANT. Instead, evidence points us to VACANT’s usage of his cultists within the Nevada State Athletic Commission not awarding Johny Hendricks the title when he and Georges fought to a decision at UFC 167 in November of that same year. Do I think all of the NSAC are in a demonic cult? No. Do I think they probably are? Yes. Anyways, the UFC Welterweight title was once again within the possession of VACANT. This would reinvigorate the UFC’s nemesis and just one month later on January 6, 2014 VACANT would briefly gain control of a new trinket, the UFC Bantamweight Championship. However the UFC predicted an attack on their divisional title and had already set up an Interim Champion, a champion but not actually the real one, and would simply bestow them the title before VACANT could scurry off with it. This was a result of Dominick Cruz’s feet being mercilessly clawed up as he slept at night by VACANT in his weakened and diminutive form. VACANT would still try to hold on to the welterweight belt, but come March 15, 2014 he would be forced to part with the title as he was too weak to cause Johny Hendricks and Robbie Lawler’s epic fight at UFC 171. Interestingly, this defeat of VACANT by Hendricks was predicted in a Japanese painting during the Edo period painting by Katsukawa Shun'ei.  Artistic representation of VACANT, in a much weaker form, being beaten by John Hendricks. Work by Katsukawa Shun'ei (Edo Period) Jon Jones, Champion of VACANT After the Hendricks/Lawler fight, VACANT was mostly forced to skitter from place to place trying their best to create another opportunity for them to claim their precious treasure. For a year, VACANT remained dormant, resting and gathering their strength. During this time they would fine a champion to their cause, a young religious man who would easily be poisoned by VACANT’s persuasive musings. This man was the then reigning UFC Light Heavyweight champion, Jonathan Dwight Jones. On April 28, 2015 it was announced that the UFC would be forced to strip Jones of his light heavyweight title due to his involvement and arrest in a felon hit-and-run, which Jones’ lawyers argued was actually the result of VACANT driving the car, not Jones. For 25 days, VACANT had control of the UFC’s most beloved titles. That was until Daniel Cormier was able to wrestle the title from the clutches of the beast at UFC 187, bringing some stability back to the UFC’s light heavyweight division. Foolishly though, Cormier chose to call out VACANT’s champion to a match upon their return to the UFC. VACANT allowed Jones to tend to his legal troubles, and in the meantime saw a new potential disciple, Conor McGregor. The Irish superstar was convinced to leave the featherweight division in order to chase Champ-Champ status, something VACANT promised would be McGregor’s if he just gave up the featherweight title to VACANT a few days after UFC 205. Ever the conman, McGregor knew what VACANT’s coaxing wasn’t to his own benefit, but solely to VACANT’s. Thus, McGregor tipped off the UFC and the organization used their tried and true technique to trick VACANT once again, by having Jose Aldo be promoted form Interim Champion to full Champion status the same day McGregor promised to give up the title. VACANT was furious, but luckily for them Jon Jones always around. By this time, VACANT had grown to notice the UFC’s inclusion of women’s divisions. However, these divisions never presented any opportunity for VACANT to capture their belts. That was until Germaine de Randamie, having won the newly created UFC Women’s Featherweight title was easily coerced into moving back down to bantamweight and refusing to defend the title against the UFC’s champion, Cristiane ‘Cyborg’ Justino. This ploy worked, and VACANT was able to latch onto the belt. Once this was learned by the UFC, they quickly sought a way to ensure their hero would be in control of the belt, and fed Tanya Evinger to Cyborg at UFC 214 just 29 days after de Randamie had been stripped. VACANT’s reign as UFC Women’s Featherweight Champion was short lived. Soon though, Jon Jones returned and (as will be covered by some other historian detailing the history of the UFC Light Heavyweight division) would win back the UFC Light Heavyweight Championship. Just a few months after reclaiming the title on July 29, 2017 at UFC 214, Jones would be stripped of it yet again. This time it was through his liege VACANT’s preferred method, drug testing. Though this was a victory for VACANT, the UFC easily convinced people that actually Daniel Cormier was the champion despite losing the fight because Jones had testing positive for a banned substance and didn’t officially lose the title. Confusing, I know, but such are the ways of the bald man. Shortly after on December 7, 2017 the blessed Georges St-Pierre would again be forced to abdicate his throne as the new UFC Middleweight Champion, due to foul trickery perpetrated by VACANT. The relinquishing of his title however was short lived as the UFC had determined that a basement dwelling gamer named Robert Whittaker should be the man to replace St-Pierre. Thus Whittaker, having learned the ways of killing demons playing hours of DOOM, prevented VACANT from getting a foothold in the division. Months would pass and one of VACANT’s frienemies would return. Conor McGregor long coveted the the UFC Lightweight title and upon winning it decided to not fight in the UFC for some time, instead chasing a boxing match with Floyd Mayweather for a ludicrous payday. American fans loved this, but those in Japan knew the truth. Mayweather, much like McGregor, was willing to flirt with dark forces in order to obtain mass wealth, prestige, and notoriety. That is why when, several years later, the Japanese dubbed Mayweather as Satan due to his trickery, and evil nature. Due to length of time it took him in his pursuit of Mayweather, the UFC were forced to remove McGregor as the UFC Lightweight champion, giving VACANT yet another title thanks to his devilish cousin.  RIZIN knew of Mayweather’s true nature and allegiance to the forces of evil. We were fools to not believe them. However this victory did not last long, as the UFC were able to convince a very confused and angry New York State Athletic Commission to allow the fight between Khabib Nurmagomedov and Al Iaquinta at UFC 223 qualify as a title fight, in order to thwart VACANT. The NYSAC, either due to incompetence of marinara sauce flooding their brains, struggled to allow this to occur until ultimately they agreed. And thusly on April 7, 2018, the same day VACANT was able to steal the title, they lost it. Several months would go by and again VACANT would ponder where to strike next. Thankfully a new division opened within the UFC and it attracted the attention of the foul beast. The UFC Women’s Flyweight champion, Nicco Montano, was very vocal about their displeasure with how the UFC treated them as the new champion. After a series of failed bout scheduling, likely due to VACANT’s skulduggery, the UFC stripped her of the title claiming she just “didn’t want to fight.” This would deliver VACANT yet another new trinket to admire though it would not last long. As on December 8, 2018 the title would fall into the secure hands of the UFC’s new favorite hero, Valentina Shevchenko. Undeterred, VACANT would visit Daniel Cormier in a dream and convince him to pursue the UFC Heavyweight belt, forgoing defending the UFC Light Heavyweight title in the process. Cormier, who had not done any research on VACANT, fell for this trick and would abandon the title on December 28, 2018. Once again allowing VACANT to hold onto their favorite of all belts for a day until delivering it safely to their beloved Jon Jones’ hands. Not content with being idle, the next target of VACANT’s machinations was the UFC Bantamweight belt. VACANT had spent considerable time encouraging TJ Dillashaw, the UFC Bantamweight champion, to go down to flyweight to challenge for the title. In fact, TJ was told they should go there to destroy the division once and for all. Dillashaw, always happy to hear praise, bought into this and would do such a thing. When they were easily defeated by Henry Cejudo is where VACANT smiled. It had all gone to plan. In order to help Dillashaw make it to the fight, VACANT had provided TJ with steroids which they knew would be detected. And detected they were, which forced the UFC to strip Dillashaw (who they were enamored with) of the title. Freeing it for VACANT to claim once again. It was following this that Cejudo decided to claim the title for themselves, but would strike a bargain with VACANT. Should VACANT not interfere with Cejudo’s plans, VACANT would not only get the UFC Flyweight title, but eventually the UFC Bantamweight title as well. The trade was deemed fair and on December 20, 2019 Cejudo traded his UFC Flyweight belt to VACANT in order for him to hold the UFC Bantamweight belt just a little longer. Then on May 24, 2020 Cejudo would leave the sport as promised in his deal with VACANT, giving the fiend another belt to his collection. Come July 12, 2020 the belt would be claimed by Petr Yan who many claim is the greatest fighter ever, if you don’t count all the times he lost. One week later, VACANT would allow for the UFC Flyweight title to slip from his finger in exchange for the sacrifice of Joseph Benavidez at the hands of Deiveson Figueiredo. Around this time Jon Jones, chosen warrior of VACANT, had grown disillusioned with the UFC Light Heavyweight division. Growing more and more contentious with the UFC’s matchmaking, the Light Heavyweight champion would grant the belt to their lord VACANT for the third time. This please VACANT greatly, as Jones had shown to be a loyal follower of the devil. It would take a month for the UFC to recover before ensuring that Jan Błachowicz would hold the title sending the waning spirit of Dominick Reyes to be slaughtered in yet another blood ritual on September 27, 2020 at UFC 253. The Endless War Continues  The pain and suffering will never cease so long as VACANT continues to exist. Photo by Valery Sharifulin\TASS via Getty Images If you are beginning to feel exhausted reading this treatise, imagine how not only I feel but those who are in the trenches fighting the never ending tide of VACANT’s onslought. However, we must continue with the telling of this story. Months would pass and the UFC would at least be able to stop VACANT’s attacks for some time. It was only when Khabib Nurmagomedov, a dominant champion, chose to leave the sport in October of 2020. However the UFC would wait until March 19, 2021 to fully remove from as their divisional champion. VACANT would enjoy a brief time as the holder of the belt until at UFC 262 Charles Oliveira would be elevated to the UFC’s new champion. This would work as a deterrent for the specter and VACANT would need time to recover. Nearly a year would go by before VACANT appeared yet again, returning to the lightweight division. Their trickery with dieting and weight management within Charles Oliveira’s camp would mean the UFC’s champion would be stripped of the title not due to a loss in the cage, but on the weigh in scales ahead of a fight. This pleased VACANT as it was a new form of attack they could use to disrupt the UFC’s plans and would be content with their control of the UFC Lightweight Championship for some time. Come October 22, 2022 though Khabib’s protege would handily defeat Oliveira to claim the title, stealing it away from the malicious spirit. This would not deter VACANT as they would then find themselves in a temple full of warriors training on a serene mountain top. The being quickly found a way to cause the group’s leader, Jiří Procházka great misery by causing an injury to the Czech samurai’s shoulder. As the reigning UFC Light Heavyweight champion, Procházka was gutted when he realized he could not return to the battlefield and was forced to give up his title. VACANT’s love of this divisional title has long been known, and they coveted it. They ensure the title fight initially scheduled to determine a new champion would fall short of any sense of a conclusion, causing the rare event of a fight ending in a draw. Around this time the UFC, corrupted by unknown forces, opted to give VACANT access to the UFC Heavyweight title rather than work with the sitting champion Francis Ngannou. Confused? So am I. VACANT’s hold on the Light Heavyweight title would not last long, and on January 21, 2023 at UFC 283 it became clear that VACANT lacked the power they once had, as the unlikely rookie Jamahal Hill defeated the grizzled veteran Glover Teixeira despite both trying to lose the fight at various points. Hill was the new light heavyweight champion. Not too long after this, VACANT’s champion Jon Jones appeared once again in the UFC to fight for a title. And would easily dispatch of his UFC Heavyweight title opponent Ciryl Gane. What the future holds for Jones with their newly won UFC Heavyweight Championship is anyone’s guess, but knowing their allegiance to VACANT in the past we can only guess it will not be for the good of any of us. Months later, and Amanda Nunes, who proved to be a very stable member for the UFC’s forces against VACANT, revealed they would be unable to continue the fight and opting to retire from the field. This was a great blow to the UFC as not only Nunes easily the greatest fighter in any of the women’s divisions, but also the holder of two UFC divisional titles: the UFC Women’s Featherweight Championship, as well as the UFC Women’s Bantamweight Championship. Upon their retirement on June 20, 2023 VACANT was delivered two vestiges of power. Not to be content, VACANT returned their gaze to the UFC Light Heavyweight division and discovered that reigning champion Jamahal Hill was in the midst of a basketball game. Ever the opportunist, VACANT found an opportunity to rupture Hill’s achilles tendon, sidelining the fighter for the foreseeable future. With no timeline of a return, Hill was forced to allow VACANT to reclaim their most favorite belt for the eighth time. It is here I must leave you dear reader, for I cannot predict the future nor can I ever foretell what trickery VACANT may play on the members of the UFC roster to secure control of divisional gold. It is evident though, that this foe is one that should not be trifled with, lest VACANT summons allies from the ethereal plane to plague the sport even more than it has been. Mekchu fucked around with this message at 17:28 on Jul 20, 2023 |
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Jul 16, 2023 14:15
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Jul 16, 2023 16:22
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oh vacant
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Jul 16, 2023 17:30
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People like to say Brock Lesnar is the only athlete who successfully went from pro wrestling to UFC but you can’t even imagine the run VACANT has had in that sport.
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Jul 16, 2023 18:05
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weekly font posted:People like to say Brock Lesnar is the only athlete who successfully went from pro wrestling to UFC but you can’t even imagine the run VACANT has had in that sport. wait you're telling me VACANT exists in other sports??????? 
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Jul 16, 2023 18:09
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Although listed officially as "No Winner" I believe vacant won the tour de france 7 times in a row
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Jul 16, 2023 18:48
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if VACANT is so drat good how come they ain't never defend no belt
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Jul 16, 2023 18:56
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didn't vacant come out of a championship fight holding the belt just this year?
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Jul 16, 2023 19:21
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ilmucche posted:didn't vacant come out of a championship fight holding the belt just this year? Jan/Ankalaev? That was in December 2022 iirc edit - don't worry i'll be getting to that in part 2 trust me
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Jul 16, 2023 19:31
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Vacant held the 125 belt for years before DJ could beat it.
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Jul 17, 2023 04:49
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Mekchu posted:wait you're telling me VACANT exists in other sports??????? CM Punk is 0-2 against this monster for the AEW Championship.
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Jul 17, 2023 05:27
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i havent thought about kevin randleman in a very long time
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Jul 17, 2023 05:44
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PlasticAutomaton posted:CM Punk is 0-2 against this monster for the AEW Championship. 0-1, because Vacant was angered by use of the Interim totem and possessed him with anger after breaking his body
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Jul 17, 2023 20:05
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Mekchu posted:wait you're telling me VACANT exists in other sports??????? Vacant has been the only Yokozuna in Sumo before. The run he's had across sports is Jordan-like
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Jul 19, 2023 02:37
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someone should look into that then. my dissertation project is solely focus on their acts within mma.
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Jul 19, 2023 02:48
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The Second Second Coming When last we left, VACANT was seemingly defeated by the UFC. Between the years of 2008 and 2013 things were incredibly calm and stable for the UFC title picture across all the available weight classes. Champions came and went, with new divisional belts added to the UFC through their merger with the WEC, but never during this time did VACANT gain power. The Pax Pilae ended when, on December 13, 2013 (a Friday I might add), beloved champion and dinosaur fan Georges St-Pierre announced he would be taking a break from the sport and would thus relinquish his title. We know for a fact that Georges is descended from angels and is far to pure to succumb to the machinations of VACANT. Instead, evidence points us to VACANT’s usage of his cultists within the Nevada State Athletic Commission not awarding Johny Hendricks the title when he and Georges fought to a decision at UFC 167 in November of that same year. Do I think all of the NSAC are in a demonic cult? No. Do I think they probably are? Yes. Anyways, the UFC Welterweight title was once again within the possession of VACANT. This would reinvigorate the UFC’s nemesis and just one month later on January 6, 2014 VACANT would briefly gain control of a new trinket, the UFC Bantamweight Championship. However the UFC predicted an attack on their divisional title and had already set up an Interim Champion, a champion but not actually the real one, and would simply bestow them the title before VACANT could scurry off with it. This was a result of Dominick Cruz’s feet being mercilessly clawed up as he slept at night by VACANT in his weakened and diminutive form. VACANT would still try to hold on to the welterweight belt, but come March 15, 2014 he would be forced to part with the title as he was too weak to cause Johny Hendricks and Robbie Lawler’s epic fight at UFC 171. Interestingly, this defeat of VACANT by Hendricks was predicted in a Japanese painting during the Edo period painting by Katsukawa Shun'ei. Artistic representation of VACANT, in a much weaker form, being beaten by John Hendricks. Work by Katsukawa Shun'ei (Edo Period) Jon Jones, Champion of VACANT After the Hendricks/Lawler fight, VACANT was mostly forced to skitter from place to place trying their best to create another opportunity for them to claim their precious treasure. For a year, VACANT remained dormant, resting and gathering their strength. During this time they would fine a champion to their cause, a young religious man who would easily be poisoned by VACANT’s persuasive musings. This man was the then reigning UFC Light Heavyweight champion, Jonathan Dwight Jones. On April 28, 2015 it was announced that the UFC would be forced to strip Jones of his light heavyweight title due to his involvement and arrest in a felon hit-and-run, which Jones’ lawyers argued was actually the result of VACANT driving the car, not Jones. For 25 days, VACANT had control of the UFC’s most beloved titles. That was until Daniel Cormier was able to wrestle the title from the clutches of the beast at UFC 187, bringing some stability back to the UFC’s light heavyweight division. Foolishly though, Cormier chose to call out VACANT’s champion to a match upon their return to the UFC. VACANT allowed Jones to tend to his legal troubles, and in the meantime saw a new potential disciple, Conor McGregor. The Irish superstar was convinced to leave the featherweight division in order to chase Champ-Champ status, something VACANT promised would be McGregor’s if he just gave up the featherweight title to VACANT a few days after UFC 205. Ever the conman, McGregor knew what VACANT’s coaxing wasn’t to his own benefit, but solely to VACANT’s. Thus, McGregor tipped off the UFC and the organization used their tried and true technique to trick VACANT once again, by having Jose Aldo be promoted form Interim Champion to full Champion status the same day McGregor promised to give up the title. VACANT was furious, but luckily for them Jon Jones always around. By this time, VACANT had grown to notice the UFC’s inclusion of women’s divisions. However, these divisions never presented any opportunity for VACANT to capture their belts. That was until Germaine de Randamie, having won the newly created UFC Women’s Featherweight title was easily coerced into moving back down to bantamweight and refusing to defend the title against the UFC’s champion, Cristiane ‘Cyborg’ Justino. This ploy worked, and VACANT was able to latch onto the belt. Once this was learned by the UFC, they quickly sought a way to ensure their hero would be in control of the belt, and fed Tanya Evinger to Cyborg at UFC 214 just 29 days after de Randamie had been stripped. VACANT’s reign as UFC Women’s Featherweight Champion was short lived. Soon though, Jon Jones returned and (as will be covered by some other historian detailing the history of the UFC Light Heavyweight division) would win back the UFC Light Heavyweight Championship. Just a few months after reclaiming the title on July 29, 2017 at UFC 214, Jones would be stripped of it yet again. This time it was through his liege VACANT’s preferred method, drug testing. Though this was a victory for VACANT, the UFC easily convinced people that actually Daniel Cormier was the champion despite losing the fight because Jones had testing positive for a banned substance and didn’t officially lose the title. Confusing, I know, but such are the ways of the bald man. Shortly after on December 7, 2017 the blessed Georges St-Pierre would again be forced to abdicate his throne as the new UFC Middleweight Champion, due to foul trickery perpetrated by VACANT. The relinquishing of his title however was short lived as the UFC had determined that a basement dwelling gamer named Robert Whittaker should be the man to replace St-Pierre. Thus Whittaker, having learned the ways of killing demons playing hours of DOOM, prevented VACANT from getting a foothold in the division. Months would pass and one of VACANT’s frienemies would return. Conor McGregor long coveted the the UFC Lightweight title and upon winning it decided to not fight in the UFC for some time, instead chasing a boxing match with Floyd Mayweather for a ludicrous payday. American fans loved this, but those in Japan knew the truth. Mayweather, much like McGregor, was willing to flirt with dark forces in order to obtain mass wealth, prestige, and notoriety. That is why when, several years later, the Japanese dubbed Mayweather as Satan due to his trickery, and evil nature. Due to length of time it took him in his pursuit of Mayweather, the UFC were forced to remove McGregor as the UFC Lightweight champion, giving VACANT yet another title thanks to his devilish cousin. RIZIN knew of Mayweather’s true nature and allegiance to the forces of evil. We were fools to not believe them. However this victory did not last long, as the UFC were able to convince a very confused and angry New York State Athletic Commission to allow the fight between Khabib Nurmagomedov and Al Iaquinta at UFC 223 qualify as a title fight, in order to thwart VACANT. The NYSAC, either due to incompetence of marinara sauce flooding their brains, struggled to allow this to occur until ultimately they agreed. And thusly on April 7, 2018, the same day VACANT was able to steal the title, they lost it. Several months would go by and again VACANT would ponder where to strike next. Thankfully a new division opened within the UFC and it attracted the attention of the foul beast. The UFC Women’s Flyweight champion, Nicco Montano, was very vocal about their displeasure with how the UFC treated them as the new champion. After a series of failed bout scheduling, likely due to VACANT’s skulduggery, the UFC stripped her of the title claiming she just “didn’t want to fight.” This would deliver VACANT yet another new trinket to admire though it would not last long. As on December 8, 2018 the title would fall into the secure hands of the UFC’s new favorite hero, Valentina Shevchenko. Undeterred, VACANT would visit Daniel Cormier in a dream and convince him to pursue the UFC Heavyweight belt, forgoing defending the UFC Light Heavyweight title in the process. Cormier, who had not done any research on VACANT, fell for this trick and would abandon the title on December 28, 2018. Once again allowing VACANT to hold onto their favorite of all belts for a day until delivering it safely to their beloved Jon Jones’ hands. Not content with being idle, the next target of VACANT’s machinations was the UFC Bantamweight belt. VACANT had spent considerable time encouraging TJ Dillashaw, the UFC Bantamweight champion, to go down to flyweight to challenge for the title. In fact, TJ was told they should go there to destroy the division once and for all. Dillashaw, always happy to hear praise, bought into this and would do such a thing. When they were easily defeated by Henry Cejudo is where VACANT smiled. It had all gone to plan. In order to help Dillashaw make it to the fight, VACANT had provided TJ with steroids which they knew would be detected. And detected they were, which forced the UFC to strip Dillashaw (who they were enamored with) of the title. Freeing it for VACANT to claim once again. It was following this that Cejudo decided to claim the title for themselves, but would strike a bargain with VACANT. Should VACANT not interfere with Cejudo’s plans, VACANT would not only get the UFC Flyweight title, but eventually the UFC Bantamweight title as well. The trade was deemed fair and on December 20, 2019 Cejudo traded his UFC Flyweight belt to VACANT in order for him to hold the UFC Bantamweight belt just a little longer. Then on May 24, 2020 Cejudo would leave the sport as promised in his deal with VACANT, giving the fiend another belt to his collection. Come July 12, 2020 the belt would be claimed by Petr Yan who many claim is the greatest fighter ever, if you don’t count all the times he lost. One week later, VACANT would allow for the UFC Flyweight title to slip from his finger in exchange for the sacrifice of Joseph Benavidez at the hands of Deiveson Figueiredo. Around this time Jon Jones, chosen warrior of VACANT, had grown disillusioned with the UFC Light Heavyweight division. Growing more and more contentious with the UFC’s matchmaking, the Light Heavyweight champion would grant the belt to their lord VACANT for the third time. This please VACANT greatly, as Jones had shown to be a loyal follower of the devil. It would take a month for the UFC to recover before ensuring that Jan Błachowicz would hold the title sending the waning spirit of Dominick Reyes to be slaughtered in yet another blood ritual on September 27, 2020 at UFC 253. The Endless War Continues The pain and suffering will never cease so long as VACANT continues to exist. Photo by Valery Sharifulin\TASS via Getty Images If you are beginning to feel exhausted reading this treatise, imagine how not only I feel but those who are in the trenches fighting the never ending tide of VACANT’s onslought. However, we must continue with the telling of this story. Months would pass and the UFC would at least be able to stop VACANT’s attacks for some time. It was only when Khabib Nurmagomedov, a dominant champion, chose to leave the sport in October of 2020. However the UFC would wait until March 19, 2021 to fully remove from as their divisional champion. VACANT would enjoy a brief time as the holder of the belt until at UFC 262 Charles Oliveira would be elevated to the UFC’s new champion. This would work as a deterrent for the specter and VACANT would need time to recover. Nearly a year would go by before VACANT appeared yet again, returning to the lightweight division. Their trickery with dieting and weight management within Charles Oliveira’s camp would mean the UFC’s champion would be stripped of the title not due to a loss in the cage, but on the weigh in scales ahead of a fight. This pleased VACANT as it was a new form of attack they could use to disrupt the UFC’s plans and would be content with their control of the UFC Lightweight Championship for some time. Come October 22, 2022 though Khabib’s protege would handily defeat Oliveira to claim the title, stealing it away from the malicious spirit. This would not deter VACANT as they would then find themselves in a temple full of warriors training on a serene mountain top. The being quickly found a way to cause the group’s leader, Jiří Procházka great misery by causing an injury to the Czech samurai’s shoulder. As the reigning UFC Light Heavyweight champion, Procházka was gutted when he realized he could not return to the battlefield and was forced to give up his title. VACANT’s love of this divisional title has long been known, and they coveted it. They ensure the title fight initially scheduled to determine a new champion would fall short of any sense of a conclusion, causing the rare event of a fight ending in a draw. Around this time the UFC, corrupted by unknown forces, opted to give VACANT access to the UFC Heavyweight title rather than work with the sitting champion Francis Ngannou. Confused? So am I. VACANT’s hold on the Light Heavyweight title would not last long, and on January 21, 2023 at UFC 283 it became clear that VACANT lacked the power they once had, as the unlikely rookie Jamahal Hill defeated the grizzled veteran Glover Teixeira despite both trying to lose the fight at various points. Hill was the new light heavyweight champion. Not too long after this, VACANT’s champion Jon Jones appeared once again in the UFC to fight for a title. And would easily dispatch of his UFC Heavyweight title opponent Ciryl Gane. What the future holds for Jones with their newly won UFC Heavyweight Championship is anyone’s guess, but knowing their allegiance to VACANT in the past we can only guess it will not be for the good of any of us. Months later, and Amanda Nunes, who proved to be a very stable member for the UFC’s forces against VACANT, revealed they would be unable to continue the fight and opting to retire from the field. This was a great blow to the UFC as not only Nunes easily the greatest fighter in any of the women’s divisions, but also the holder of two UFC divisional titles: the UFC Women’s Featherweight Championship, as well as the UFC Women’s Bantamweight Championship. Upon their retirement on June 20, 2023 VACANT was delivered two vestiges of power. Not to be content, VACANT returned their gaze to the UFC Light Heavyweight division and discovered that reigning champion Jamahal Hill was in the midst of a basketball game. Ever the opportunist, VACANT found an opportunity to rupture Hill’s achilles tendon, sidelining the fighter for the foreseeable future. With no timeline of a return, Hill was forced to allow VACANT to reclaim their most favorite belt for the eighth time. It is here I must leave you dear reader, for I cannot predict the future nor can I ever foretell what trickery VACANT may play on the members of the UFC roster to secure control of divisional gold. It is evident though, that this foe is one that should not be trifled with, lest VACANT summons allies from the ethereal plane to plague the sport even more than it has been.
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Jul 20, 2023 17:28
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Mekchu posted:Jon Jones, Champion of VACANT
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Jul 20, 2023 18:47
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I'm a fool for not arming myself with this knowledge sooner
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Jul 20, 2023 23:07
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 possibly artwork of mcgregor and VACANT conversing with one another
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Jul 21, 2023 06:42
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it's pronounced vah-cont
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Jul 21, 2023 07:18
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Mekchu posted:
Checks out  https://i.imgur.com/c82BO2L.mp4
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Jul 21, 2023 07:59
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lmao
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Jul 21, 2023 08:43
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investigator photos of the jon jones hit & run scene revealed something disturbing  
Mekchu fucked around with this message at 09:43 on Jul 21, 2023 |
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Jul 21, 2023 09:36
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https://i.imgur.com/Zvyassn.mp4
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Jul 21, 2023 16:07
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lol
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Jul 21, 2023 16:21
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 07:40 |
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Reviving this amazing thread since Vacant currently holds the UFC LHW belt once again.
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Oct 4, 2023 16:59
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