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sticksy
May 26, 2004
Nap Ghost
er

A new season of football in the World’s Best, Most Expensive, Fit & Proper Association Football League™ is almost upon us and much like other august journals, I thought that TRP deserved to have a little contest to see who is right and who is very wrong come May 2024. There will be prizes on offer* (tbd), including a very special, limited edition gangtag to be MSPainted at a later date, courtesy of our mod and long suffering Leeds (:rip:) supporter, the sex ghost.

Some of the scintillating storylines this season:
  • Will City win another treble (ffs)?
  • Will Arteta’s Heart & Brain motivational scheme work together to power them to a title?
  • Will Pooshited finally be sold then hopefully Old Toilet collapses and the club is deservedly wound up
  • Is Liverpool’s bold strategy of releasing and selling all of their midfielders going to pay off?
  • How will Tottenham inevitably gently caress up their Top 4 finish AND drawn out yet inevitable departure of Harry Kane?
  • Will Todd Boehly need an intervention to stop buying very expensive players meanwhile Poch will still have a barebones midfield?
  • Will Newcastle continue their Saudi-fueled resurgence and progress in the CL?
  • Can Brighton continue to overachieve with De Zerbi and a plucky band of relative unknowns and good pensioner lads who mean well?
  • Will Villa win their first Europa league title under Unai "Good Ebening" Emeri?
  • Which players will have naughty video(s) of them surface shagging a nan/another player's partner/huffing hippy crack?
  • Manager sack race will have a lot to live up to after last season's wild ride
  • how poo poo will VAR and refereeing continue to be?
  • With the siren song of Saudi blood money continue to lure players there despite redacted

Here’s how last season ended up:


Prediction Categories:
  • Winner:
  • Top 4:
  • Relegated :(:
  • Top Scorer:
  • Player of the Year
  • Surprise of the Season (Club): This could be good or bad, you pick
  • Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”)
  • Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”)
  • Bargain Transfer

Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:
  • Any Prem team win the CL?
  • Most Red Cards?
  • Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc)
  • Which wag will get their partner in trouble/splashed on the papers?
  • Any other fun suggestions?????
  • What are you most looking forward to?

*Disclaimer: I don’t know how I will score or rank entries or what the prize(s) will be yet, I’m open to suggestions

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sticksy
May 26, 2004
Nap Ghost
placeholder for whatever dumb stuff i think of later

brocked
Oct 25, 2005

All shall love me and despair!
Which club will receive the most apology letters from Howard Webb?

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011
Prediction Categories:
Winner: Man City
Top 4: Man City, Arsenal, Man United, Chelsea - not necessarily in that order
Relegated :(: Luton, Sheffield United, Wolves
Top Scorer: Haaland
Player of the Year: Haaland
Surprise of the Season (Club): I was going to say Brighton might surprise us by being bad at coping with European football and losing some key players yet again, but I'll make a positive prediction instead and say that Kompany's Burnley are actually quite good, adapt to the Premier League well, and finish top half
Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”): Darwin Nunez turns out to actually be good
Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”): Kai Havertz
Bargain Transfer: Feels weird to call any eight-figure player a bargain but I think Liverpool got Mac Allister for surprisingly cheap so I'll say him

Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:
Any Prem team win the CL? Nah
Most Red Cards? Casemiro
Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc): Klopp
Which wag will get their partner in trouble/splashed on the papers? Jack Grealish does a threesome or something
Any other fun suggestions?????
What are you most looking forward to? Football being back on every weekend



these will all be wrong so when somebody that isn't Man City win it you can thank me

Bogan Krkic
Oct 31, 2010

Swedish style? No.
Yugoslavian style? Of course not.
It has to be Zlatan-style.

These are all gonna be wrong anyway so why not get them soundly wrong

Prediction Categories:
Winner: Chelsea, as their billion dollars of forwards finally start scoring goals
Top 4: Man City, Arsenal, Spurs
Relegated :(: Luton, Sheffield United, Everton
Top Scorer: Haaland
Player of the Year: Nkunku
Surprise of the Season (Club): The chels winning the title
Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”): Harry Maguire is going to become a dominant and reliable center half again
Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”): Rasmus Hojlund, because his name sounds like Haaland but he's not gonna be anywhere near as good
Bargain Transfer: Some kid that Brighton sign from the Venezuelan 3rd division or whatever

Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:
Any Prem team win the CL? - It's Man City's year
Most Red Cards? - Jordan Pickford, and by extension Everton
Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc) - There'll be a great bust up between David Moyes, Tim Steidten and David Sullivan at West Ham
Which wag will get their partner in trouble/splashed on the papers? - dunno if James Maddison has a misso and I won't check but he seems like the sort to get up to trouble
Any other fun suggestions?????
What are you most looking forward to? I'm looking forward to the foot being back!

Literally Lewis Hamilton
Feb 22, 2005



Prediction Categories
Winner: Man City
Top 4: Man City, Newcastle, Arsenal, Man Utd
Relegated: Everton, Wolves, Luton
Top Scorer: Haaland
Player of the Year: Haaland :(
Surprise of the Season (Club):
Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”): Nicolas Jackson
Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”): Rasmus Hojlund
Bargain Transfer: Raul Jimenez


Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:
Any Prem team win the CL?: Man City, sadly
Most Red Cards?: Everton
Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc): Liverpool and their fans after the team does very poorly after selling a lot of first team players
Which wag will get their partner in trouble/splashed on the papers?: I feel like this will be some new WAG trying to make a name for themselves.
Any other fun suggestions?????: The first game will be a 0-0 snoozer
What are you most looking forward to?: CL football at St. James

Literally Lewis Hamilton fucked around with this message at 10:33 on Aug 10, 2023

UnderFreddy
Oct 9, 2012

GEGENPOSTING

Prediction Categories:
Winner: Arsenal
Top 4: Man City, Liverpool, United
Relegated :(: Luton, Sheff Utd, Wolves
Top Scorer: Haaland
Player of the Year: Bukayo Saka
Surprise of the Season (Club): Aston Villa will turn into turds and Emery will be sacked mid-season
Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”): Joao Pedro is going to do amazing brazilian stuff for Brighton and people will ask "Evan who?"
Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”): Onana will be laughed at all season
Bargain Transfer: Jurrien Timber at only 35m looks shockingly good already. If it's not bargain enough, then Matt Turner at Forest

Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:
Any Prem team win the CL?: no
Most Red Cards?: west ham
Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc): united as a whole
Which wag will get their partner in trouble/splashed on the papers?: big harry kanes wife will hate germany

What are you most looking forward to?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXxqmAxDlYU

the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009
Prediction Categories:
Winner: City again
Top 4: City, Arsenal, Pooshited, Chelsea
Relegated : Forest, Luton, Wolves
Top Scorer: Big Erl again
Player of the Year: Big Erl again
Surprise of the Season (Club): This could be good or bad, you pick: Burnley will finish top half
Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”) West Ham's Harry Maguire
Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”) Szoboszlai. red bull players are all frauds who get found out immediately (except for that one guy)
Bargain Transfer Ashley Young - Everton (free)

Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:
Any Prem team win the CL? Newcastle United :letsgo:
Most Red Cards? Mitrovic (player), Everton (team)
Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc) Klopp will take a swing at a fourth official and get a lengthy touchline ban
Which wag will get their partner in trouble/splashed on the papers? Mrs Grealish 69
Any other fun suggestions?????
- at least 3 players who went to Saudi Arabia in summer will be back in the league in January (Saint-Maximin, Neves, Mahrez)
-FA Cup: Pooshited
-League Cup: Spurs or something
-Brighton shock bottom half finish as 400 games a week knackers them
-Worst ref: Anthony Taylor
-Man United will not be sold. Glazers will never die
-Erling Haaland will score more goals than Luton Town

the sex ghost fucked around with this message at 11:16 on Aug 10, 2023

webmeister
Jan 31, 2007

The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.
I am extremely confident in all of these predictions.

Prediction Categories:
  • Winner: Manchester United
  • Top 4: Luton, Brentford, Sheffield
  • Relegated :(: Liverpool, Chelsea, Manchester City
  • Top Scorer: Kylian Mbappe (after joining Manchester United on loan for a season)
  • Player of the Year: Bruno Fernandes
  • Surprise of the Season (Club): Plucky Luton Town
  • Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”) Mason Mount
  • Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”) Neymar, after his 200 million deadline day signing by Chelsea
  • Bargain Transfer Getting rid of Maguire

Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:
  • Any Prem team win the CL? Yes, Manchester United
  • Most Red Cards? Mitrovic
  • Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc) Haaland, after scoring zero (0) goals before Christmas
  • Which wag will get their partner in trouble/splashed on the papers? Garnacho
  • Any other fun suggestions????? A woman will referee a Premier League game
  • What are you most looking forward to? Getting up at 3am to watch your lads get tonked 4-0 by a poo poo club from a poo poo city

Masonity
Dec 31, 2007

What, I wonder, does this hidden face of madness reveal of the makers? These K'Chain Che'Malle?
Prediction Categories:
  • Winner: The Arse
  • Top 4: Man City, Man United, Brighton
  • Relegated :(: Luton, Everton, Sheffield United
  • Top Scorer: Human Cheat code Haaland
  • Player of the Year Captain Odegaard
  • Surprise of the Season (Club): Spurs finishing bottom half, Chelsea style
  • Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”) Maguire (now he's joining Wham!)
  • Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”) Hojland. Pound shop Haaland
  • Bargain Transfer Timber will look like he should have cost £100mil

Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:
  • Any Prem team win the CL? The Arse in an amazing quadruple
  • Most Red Cards? Arteta for stepping out his technical area too often
  • Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc) Pep when Arsenal win everything
  • Which wag will get their partner in trouble/splashed on the papers? Your mum, when it comes out she's Wayne Rooney's new bit on the side
  • Any other fun suggestions????? A stand at Old Trafford gets temporarily closed due to disrepair
  • What are you most looking forward to? Kai proving everyone wrong

TyrantWD
Nov 6, 2010
Ignore my doomerism, I don't think better things are possible
Prediction Categories:
  • Winner: Man City
  • Top 4: Liverpool, Arsenal, Man United
  • Relegated :(: Luton, Sheffield, Wolves
  • Top Scorer: Haaland
  • Player of the Year: Haaland
  • Surprise of the Season (Club): Villa finishing in the bottom half
  • Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”): Mudryk turns out to be the real deal
  • Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”): Tonali
  • Bargain Transfer: Timber

Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:
  • Any Prem team win the CL?: Man City
  • Most Red Cards?: Everton
  • Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc): Ten Hag when Liverpool beat United 7-0 again

tristeham
Jul 31, 2022


Prediction Categories:
Winner: Man City
Top 4: Arsenal, Newcastle, Man United
Relegated :(: Luton Town, Sheffield United, Everton
Top Scorer: Haaland
Player of the Year: Saka
Surprise of the Season (Club): Burnley will be good
Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”): Danjuma
Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”): Hojlund
Bargain Transfer: Zeki Amdouni

Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:
Any Prem team win the CL? - no
Most Red Cards? - Casemiro
Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc) - Klopp will lose his head

Cannon_Fodder
Jul 17, 2007

"Hey, where did Steve go?"
Design by Kamoc
Prediction Categories:

Winner: Man City
Top 4: Man City, Arsenal, Liverpool, Man U
Relegated :(: Everton, Sheffield, West Ham
Top Scorer: Haaland
Player of the Year: Haaland
Surprise of the Season (Club): This could be good or bad, you pick: Injury crisis at Crystal Palace - Woy dead so what
Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”): Maddison is banging balls into the Spurs front line
Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”): Maguire shits the bed and is put down behind Old Trafford
Bargain Transfer: No clue


Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:

Any Prem team win the CL?: No
Most Red Cards?: Rob Holden
Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc) Zaha finally breaks down
Which wag will get their partner in trouble/splashed on the papers?: Surprise entry from Phil Foden's mum
Any other fun suggestions????? Rabies outbreak in the Chelsea camp
What are you most looking forward to? This is a trick question and I will not stoop that low. COYS.

mila kunis
Jun 10, 2011
Prediction Categories:
  • Winner: Man City
  • Top 4: Man City, Arsenal, Newcastle, Liverpool
  • Relegated :(: Luton, Sheffield, Forest
  • Top Scorer: Haaland
  • Player of the Year Haaland
  • Surprise of the Season (Club): Man United will do poorly, partially because I hope so and also because they bought Atalanta's third choice striker as a solution for scoring more goals
  • Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”) Szoboszlai
  • Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”) Hojlund
  • Bargain Transfer Jimmy Milner will be fantastic at Brighton

Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:
  • Any Prem team win the CL? City look the most likely so I loving hope not
  • Most Red Cards? Everton
  • Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc) Spurs will lose the plot
  • Which wag will get their partner in trouble/splashed on the papers? idk
  • Any other fun suggestions????? no
  • What are you most looking forward to? darwin nunez learning how to score

mila kunis fucked around with this message at 17:15 on Aug 10, 2023

Grimble
Jul 7, 2002

He will build a castle with garden on an island called Cheshire, and he is permitted to breed.
Prediction Categories:

Winner: Man City
Top 4: Man City, Man Utd, Chelsea, Newcastle
Relegated :(: Luton, Everton, Sheffield
Top Scorer: Haaland
Player of the Year: Haaland
Surprise of the Season (Club): Arsenal are actually bad
Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”) Slabhead playing for West Ham in a system that suits him
Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”) Declan Rice
Bargain Transfer: Szoboszlai


Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:

Any Prem team win the CL? Nah
Most Red Cards? Partey
Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc) Arsenal Fan TV
Which wag will get their partner in trouble/splashed on the papers? All of them
Any other fun suggestions????? No
What are you most looking forward to? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MusyO7J2inM

kri kri
Jul 18, 2007

Prediction Categories:
Winner: Arsenal
Top 4: Man City, Chelsea, United
Relegated :(: Luton, Everton, Wolves
Top Scorer: Haaland
Player of the Year: Gabriel Martinelli
Surprise of the Season (Club): Spurs dropping further down the table
Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”): Havertz
Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”): Hojlund
Bargain Transfer: Timber

Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:
Any Prem team win the CL?: no
Most Red Cards?: Luton
Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc): Spurs
Which wag will get their partner in trouble/splashed on the papers?: dont know wags

What are you most looking forward to?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwV3h1vqU0A

Literally Lewis Hamilton
Feb 22, 2005



Cannon_Fodder posted:

Prediction Categories:

Winner: Man City
Top 4: Man City, Arsenal, Liverpool, Man U
Relegated :(: Everton, Sheffield, West Ham
Top Scorer: Haaland
Player of the Year: Haaland
Surprise of the Season (Club): This could be good or bad, you pick: Injury crisis at Crystal Palace - Woy dead so what
Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”): Maddison is banging balls into the Spurs front line
Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”): Maguire shits the bed and is put down behind Old Trafford
Bargain Transfer: No clue


Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:

Any Prem team win the CL?: No
Most Red Cards?: Rob Holden
Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc) Zaha finally breaks down
Which wag will get their partner in trouble/splashed on the papers?: Surprise entry from Phil Foden's mum
Any other fun suggestions????? Rabies outbreak in the Chelsea camp
What are you most looking forward to? This is a trick question and I will not stoop that low. COYS.

Zaha is in Turkey m8

sticksy
May 26, 2004
Nap Ghost
That’s just shows how broke down he got

Ulio
Feb 17, 2011


Prediction Categories:
Winner: Arsenal
Top 4: Man City, United, Liverpool
Relegated :(: Bournemouth, Sheffield, Luton
Top Scorer: Harry Kane(if he leaves Haaland)
Player of the Year: Odegaard
Surprise of the Season (Club): This could be good or bad, you pick: Chelsea will be a really good team and be contending for top 4.
Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”): Joao Pedro Brighton
Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”): Gvardiol
Bargain Transfer: David Raya

Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:
Any Prem team win the CL? Man City or Barcelona win CL.
Most Red Cards? Wolves
Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc) West Ham start poor with David Moyes and sack him. Then they end mid table.
Which wag will get their partner in trouble/splashed on the papers? n/a
Any other fun suggestions????? Newcastle will have a good run in the champions league but place lower in the league from last season.
What are you most looking forward to? Brighton trying that playstyle vs European teams, should be a fun challenge.

kri kri
Jul 18, 2007

Ulio posted:

Prediction Categories:
Winner: Arsenal
Top 4: Man City, United, Liverpool
Relegated :(: Bournemouth, Sheffield, Luton
Top Scorer: Harry Kane(if he leaves Haaland)
Player of the Year: Odegaard
Surprise of the Season (Club): This could be good or bad, you pick: Chelsea will be a really good team and be contending for top 4.
Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”): Joao Pedro Brighton
Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”): Gvardiol
Bargain Transfer: David Raya

Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:
Any Prem team win the CL? Man City or Barcelona win CL.
Most Red Cards? Wolves
Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc) West Ham start poor with David Moyes and sack him. Then they end mid table.
Which wag will get their partner in trouble/splashed on the papers? n/a
Any other fun suggestions????? Newcastle will have a good run in the champions league but place lower in the league from last season.
What are you most looking forward to? Brighton trying that playstyle vs European teams, should be a fun challenge.

Raya is a good shout, incredible bit of business that

Insurrectionist
May 21, 2007
Winner: lol it's Man City
Top 4: Arsenal, Liverpool, uhhh maybe United? tbh I feel like I'd give <40% odds for any team past the first 3 so IDK
Relegated :(: Luton, Crystal Palace, Everton (surely this time!)
Top Scorer: Haaland
Player of the Year De Bruyne
Surprise of the Season (Club): This could be good or bad, you pick Palace relegation after Woy has a coronary scare and quits in October due to changing priorities and a wish to retire; they get some hack like Bruce or Lampard in and pick up 14 points for the remainder of the season
Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”) As a Norwegian I am honor-bound to put Sander Berge here even though I don't actually Believe In the Lad
Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”) For similar patriotic reasons I have to pick a fellow scandi, sorry Hojlund but you're the highest profile one in recent weeks! Comedy option Kane decline begins if he stays.
Bargain Transfer There's gonna be quite a few as usual but I'll put my money on Tielemans, still only 26 could easily find good form again under Emery and Villa got him on a free to boot


Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:

Any Prem team win the CL? Definitely not
Most Red Cards? Newcastle surprisingly
Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc) Gonna be someone at the Chels but I have no idea who or how (unless Lukaku actually stays in which case it will probably be related to him)
Which wag will get their partner in trouble/splashed on the papers? I don't know a single WAG except Rebekah Vardy so I guess that's my default pick

What are you most looking forward to? Football

Ulio
Feb 17, 2011


kri kri posted:

Raya is a good shout, incredible bit of business that

Ya I thought the news was fake when I heard the deal, even if he sucks they don't even have to buy him since there is no obligation clause.

Also mila kunis and sexghost having Ashley Young + Milner are good shouts. For free, can play a million positions and good lockerroom lads to have.

Troy Queef
Jan 12, 2013




Prediction Categories:
Winner: Manchester City
Top 4: Manchester City, Manchester United, Spurs, Arsenal
Relegated :(: Luton Town, Sheffield United, Wolves
Top Scorer: Erling Haaland
Player of the Year Son Heung-min
Surprise of the Season (Club): This could be good or bad, you pick Burnley end up finishing in the top half
Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”) Alex Scott at Bournemouth
Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”) Declan Rice at Arsenal
Bargain Transfer James Maddison at Spurs

Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:
Any Prem team win the CL? No - Barcelona will pull a win out their rear end
Most Red Cards? Woy Hodgson's Crystal Palace
Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc) Aston Villa get turfed out of Europe and respond by firing Emery
Which wag will get their partner in trouble/splashed on the papers? Whoever's seeing Mudryk
Any other fun suggestions????? Luton Town will win more games than 2007-08 Derby but fewer than 1993-94 Swindon
What are you most looking forward to? Ange Postecoglou getting Spurs to a position where this year has a Feast of Arseover, further setting them up for a strong 2024-25

Mickolution
Oct 1, 2005

Ballers...I put numbers on the boards
Prediction Categories:
Winner: Liverpool
Top 4: Liverpool, Man City, Arsenal, Chelsea
Relegated :(: Wolves, Crystal Palace, Luton
Top Scorer: Haaland
Player of the Year: Salah
Surprise of the Season (Club): Brighton will struggle
Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”): Maguire
Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”): Hojlund
Bargain Transfer: Tonali

Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:
Any Prem team win the CL?: Yes
Most Red Cards?: Casemiro
Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc): Newcastle, entitlement kicks in pretty fast
Which wag will get their partner in trouble/splashed on the papers?: Someone who's gone to Saudi

Sapphic Socialism
Jan 7, 2017

All your favourite video game characters are gay and trans.
Prediction Categories:

Winner: Liverpool
Top 4: Liverpool, Man City, Arsenal, Tottenham
Relegated :(: Luton, Sheffield United, Nottingham Forest
Top Scorer: Haaland
Player of the Year: Trent Alexander-Arnold
Surprise of the Season (Club): Newcastle will be around tenth
Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”): Kai Havertz
Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”): Declan Rice
Bargain Transfer: Raul Jimenez


Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:

Any Prem team win the CL?: Non
Most Red Cards?: Everton
Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc): Newcastle
Which wag will get their partner in trouble/splashed on the papers?: no clue
Any other fun suggestions?????: everton #2 in clean sheets
What are you most looking forward to?: following premier league with zero stakes since my team is on a vacation in the championship

Cpt. Mahatma Gandhi
Mar 26, 2005

Prediction Categories:
  • Winner: Arsenal
  • Top 4: Arsenal, Newcastle, Manchester City, Liverpool
  • Relegated :(: Bournemouth, Wolves, Sheffield United
  • Top Scorer: Haaland
  • Player of the Year: Declan Rice
  • Surprise of the Season (Club): Everton will finish top half
  • Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”): Richarlison
  • Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”): Kovacic
  • Bargain Transfer: Raul Jimenez

Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:
  • Any Prem team win the CL? No - Bayern
  • Most Red Cards? Manchester United
  • Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc) Erik Ten Hag
  • Which wag will get their partner in trouble/splashed on the papers? Simple Jack
  • Any other fun suggestions????? Someone--Mitrovic, probably--will put a fist through the VAR monitor after it gives them a red card
  • What are you most looking forward to? idk just all the footy all the time mate

G-Hawk
Dec 15, 2003

Prediction Categories:

Winner: Arsenal
Top 4: Arsenal, Man City, Liverpool, Manchester United
Relegated : Luton, Everton, Wolves
Top Scorer: Haaland
Player of the Year: Bukayo Saka
Surprise of the Season (Club): Tottenham bottom half
Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”): Kai Havertz
Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”): Mason Mount
Bargain Transfer: Tielemans


Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:

Any Prem team win the CL?: City
Most Red Cards?: Everton
Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc): Tottenham
Which wag will get their partner in trouble/splashed on the papers?: idk
Any other fun suggestions?????: chelsea will still be poo poo
What are you most looking forward to?: the football

Akbar
Nov 22, 2004

Hubba-
Hubba.
Prediction Categories:
Winner: City
Top 4: Liverpool, Arse, United
Relegated: Luton, Everton, Wolves
Top Scorer: Haaland
Player of the Year: Haaland
Surprise of the Season (Club): Chelsea
Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”): Luis Diaz
Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”): Declan Rice
Bargain Transfer: Mac Allister

Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:
Any Prem team win the CL? City
Most Red Cards? Everton
Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc) Pep as his team stomps the league but not in his preferred style
Which wag will get their partner in trouble/splashed on the papers? I dunno Foden?
Any other fun suggestions????? FFP will still be toothless
What are you most looking forward to? death

Loving Africa Chaps
Dec 3, 2007


We had not left it yet, but when I would wake in the night, I would lie, listening, homesick for it already.

Prediction Categories:

Winner: Arsenal

Top 4: City, yanited, Chelsea

Relegated : Luton, Sheffield, Everton

Top Scorer: Haaland

Player of the Year Oedegard

Surprise of the Season (Club): This could be good or bad, you pick) Villa flirting with relegation

Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”)
Havertz doing alright
Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”)
Lidl Haaland
Bargain Transfer
Timber

Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:

Any Prem team win the CL? No

Most Red Cards? Everton

Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc) Eddie Howe

Which wag will get their partner in trouble/splashed on the papers? Caicedo

Any other fun suggestions?????
Chelsea get a FFP transfer ban

What are you most looking forward to?
Going to the footie with my Dad

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JingleBells
Jan 7, 2007

Oh what fun it is to see the Harriers win away!

I don't do predictions and I never will.

Prediction Categories:
  • Winner: Manchester City
  • Top 4: Liverpool, Arsenal, Newcastle United
  • Relegated : Luton, Sheffield United, Burnley
  • Top Scorer: Haaland
  • Player of the Year: Haaland
  • Surprise of the Season (Club): Brighton
  • Surprise of the Season (Player – Good, aka “The Michu”) Manor Solomon
  • Surprise of the Season (Player – Flop, aka “The Shevchenko”) Rasmus Hojlund
  • Bargain Transfer Max Aarons

Bonus Round - some of these might be subjective:
  • Any Prem team win the CL? No
  • Most Red Cards? Romero
  • Biggest meltdown (can apply to club, player, manager, owner, fan, etc) Pep Guardiola after conceding 100th+ minute goals in consecutive games
  • Which wag will get their partner in trouble/splashed on the papers? Lindelof
  • Any other fun suggestions????? Spurs repeat their 40 game season with two early cup exits
  • What are you most looking forward to? Not having to watch Jake Humphrey present the lunchtime kick off

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