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 [Staring at a giant DNA on the screen intently with pen in mouth before suddenly turning to my colleague] Dear god! Do you know what this means?
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Sep 25, 2023 02:37
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| # ? May 5, 2024 22:36 |
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"Because I sure don't."
https://i.imgur.com/9jTkSUL.mp4 |
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Sep 25, 2023 02:44
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"at last, this explains why kids love cinnamon toast crunch!" |
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Sep 25, 2023 03:35
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Well I just talked to the DA. They need the results pronto. Time to get to work! [5 minute long montage of me and my assistant calibrating and firing a gun, zooming around the image of the bullet casings with whooshing sound effects. Close up on some fibers in a clamp as we carefully examine them with a series of different lights, 3d image it, and finally, sniff and taste them.] That's it. We got 'em! Maury Povich: Our tests have confirmed... You are the father!
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Sep 25, 2023 07:39
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Today we are visiting the science department. Here the scientists work very hard each day to discover new science which in turn will help them discover even more new science. The workshop which the scientists work in is called a laboratory. There are many methods to discover new science, and each methods requires its own sort of laboratory. Let us see what the scientists are doing in the chemistry laboratory. Chemistry is the science where scientists mix together different coloured liquids and observe what happens. We can see the scientists are very diligent in their work. Some liquids can stain the clothes or maybe even sting if spilled on the skin. Therefore many of the scientists wear protective gloves and goggles. Oops! Looks like those two liquids should not have been mixed! Let us visit the computer laboratory before someone makes us clean up this mess! This is the computer laboratory. Here the scientists use computers to make science. Computers are wondrous machines with many buttons that light up in many different colours. When a scientist presses a button the computer generates science. When the scientists are working on a difficult science project they gather around a computer and help each other to press the buttons, the more buttons they press the faster the science is created. That is all for now. Next time we will visit the animal science laboratory and learn all abut animal science. See you there!
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Sep 25, 2023 10:23
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We need to get to work on the lab tests for this critical case. *Stops by hair salon to get frosted tips* Ok, I'm ready! |
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Sep 25, 2023 13:55
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Buttchocks posted:We need to get to work on the lab tests for this critical case. [Hands you some glasses so you can take them off dramatically]
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Sep 25, 2023 14:37
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I've looked at all the data with my glasses on and off and it all spells the same drat thing: Gacumoly! The rna seems to want to become a party dip. Strange indeed. Gonna needs more eyes and chips on this to confirm. On another note, Dr. Humberton wanted me to pass on this on to the rest of the team. What do you call it when a nuclear reactor is washed away during high tide? Nucleotide.
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Sep 25, 2023 15:58
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| # ? May 5, 2024 22:36 |
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The Director says he wants us to eat all the guac, but wouldn't that be destroying evidence? Something funny is going on in this department, but I'm worried that my concerns might get me, a rookie fresh out of school with a bright future, in trouble. |
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Sep 25, 2023 16:13
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