|
do u have a good story? are u a natural story teller or maybe one of ur parents was. this here's the thread for tall tales, true stories, ghost tales and whatever else u got byob.  TL;DR stories and fake made up poo poo are welcome here. BYOB I beseech thee. tell us all a story and then mayhaps I'll tell u one too 
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 06:47
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 8, 2024 08:24 |
|
|
 
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 06:58
|
|
|
|
I see a ghost in my dreams sometimes. She tries to make me smoke meth and we fight vipers. I cherish these dreams |
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 07:48
|
|
|
|
Gather round this handsome divorcee, children, and listen to the tale of The Man Who Did Nothing Wrong and the Spouse Who had a "Problem" with His Airsoft Purchases
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 11:32
|
|
|
|
somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 15:52
|
|
|
They say up in the hills there lived a man whose roommates never learned how to put the trash out for collection. Instead of putting the bags in a bin, they put the bags next the bin. The Fair Folk who collect the trash were offended by this and would not collect the trash in such a state. Sometimes the man put the trash in the bin even though it wasn't his assigned chore, but sometimes he got too busy because he had an actual job instead of playing bowls all day. Soon the trash piled up too high to even fit in the bin, and the Fair Folk stopped coming to their cabin. The man moved out because he was sick of their poo poo, and the trash kept piling higher until it became a new hill. They say on a stormy night, you can hear the sound of the trash pile hill compacting under its own weight. |
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 16:09
|
|
|
|
Buttchocks posted:They say up in the hills there lived a man whose roommates never learned how to put the trash out for collection. Instead of putting the bags in a bin, they put the bags next the bin. The Fair Folk who collect the trash were offended by this and would not collect the trash in such a state. Sometimes the man put the trash in the bin even though it wasn't his assigned chore, but sometimes he got too busy because he had an actual job instead of playing bowls all day. Soon the trash piled up too high to even fit in the bin, and the Fair Folk stopped coming to their cabin. The man moved out because he was sick of their poo poo, and the trash kept piling higher until it became a new hill. They say on a stormy night, you can hear the sound of the trash pile hill compacting under its own weight. I had a friend in college who played what he referred to as "the stacking game" and all rubbish was piled high on his rubbish bin in his apartment. the person who placed something on the pile that caused it to topple was thus assigned to taking the bag out to the dumpster. what a move, to make your friends take your trash out for you because their emptys fell off the leaning stack of trash you have been making for two weeks
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 16:32
|
|
|
FutonForensic posted:Gather round this handsome divorcee, children, and listen to the tale of The Man Who Did Nothing Wrong and the Spouse Who had a "Problem" with His Airsoft Purchases lol |
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 22:53
|
|
|
|
You know, when I was a boy, I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might have brain damage.
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2023 20:23
|
|
|
I was six. It was the Sunday before Easter Sunday. I was sitting in the backseat of the family car and we were headed to church. We had some time to kill so after leaving home we stopped at our closest neighbors' house. We lived way out in the country so our closest neghbors, the Skinners, lived a couple miles from us on a dirt road. As we pulled up into their driveway, the youngest daughter, Crystal, wavede and approached our car. In her hands she was cradling something small, which she handed to my Dad for examination. I was little so I couldn't see what it was that she had handed him. He passed it to my mother and she then passed it to my siblings. I was the last to see it. What my brother handed me was a small, baby blue egg. Now, this was right around the time Hershey first released their pastel Easter chocolate eggs. I had seen them advertised on TV and knew what I was looking at. Without hesitation I popped that bad boy in my mouth and started chewing. I noticed that it was not chocolate after all, but rather flavorless. I remarked that "this must be a new flavor". At this point I noticed that my family and neighbors were staring at me in silent horror. The thing in my mouth was refusing mastication. The more I chewed, the larger it grew in my mouth. I realized I was chewing on the cartilaginous remains of a robin chick. I slowly stepped out of the car and allowed the contents of my mouth to slowly drip out onto the dusty driveway. Then we went to church. Years later I would learn in Science class that an egg is not so much food as it is a reproductive secretion. And that is why to this day I don't eat eggs.
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2023 22:00
|
|
|
I present for your amusement and edification a Something Awful classic: https://www.somethingawful.com/series/fur-trapper-saga/
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2023 22:41
|
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2023 22:53
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2023 23:35
|
|
|
hold the eggs pls  -- me |
|
#
?
Nov 15, 2023 10:31
|
|
|
breakfast burriots all contain scrambled eggs. fail 
|
|
#
?
Nov 15, 2023 10:34
|
|
|
ANYHOO I've got a couple of country living gun stories too. They're not funny but they're available upon request ITT 
|
|
#
?
Nov 15, 2023 11:02
|
|
|
|
Big egg fan tbh
|
|
#
?
Nov 15, 2023 11:27
|
|
|
Escape From Noise posted:Big egg fan tbh u can have em. it's not food though 👍 |
|
#
?
Nov 15, 2023 11:41
|
|
|
|
Areola Grande posted:u can have em. it's not food though 👍 The trick is to discard the shell and eat what's inside.
|
|
#
?
Nov 15, 2023 12:46
|
|
|
|
Areola Grande posted:And that is why to this day I don't eat eggs. rear end-penny posted:somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me |
|
#
?
Nov 16, 2023 00:45
|
|
|
|
Areola Grande posted:ANYHOO I've got a couple of country living gun stories too. They're not funny but they're available upon request ITT I'll bite 
code: |
|
#
?
Nov 16, 2023 04:39
|
|
|
|
Areola Grande posted:breakfast burriots all contain scrambled eggs. fail also more importantly I actually really like the idea of breakfast burritos without eggs it's like having to make christmas / snow-level music without jingle bells
code: |
|
#
?
Nov 16, 2023 04:40
|
|
|
RavenousScoot posted:also more importantly I actually really like the idea of breakfast burritos without eggs a breakfast burriot without eggs is something I could really get behind r about n. sooooo hungey
|
|
#
?
Nov 16, 2023 04:47
|
|
|
|
Areola Grande posted:a breakfast burriot without eggs is something I could really get behind r about n. sooooo hungey all I can think of is cheesey rice and sausage or like cheese grits and bacon idk? peppers and onyums 
code: |
|
#
?
Nov 16, 2023 04:51
|
|
|
RavenousScoot posted:all I can think of is cheesey rice and sausage or like cheese grits and bacon idk? peppers and onyums chocolate malt-o-meal, tots and crispy bacon strips lol 
|
|
#
?
Nov 16, 2023 05:01
|
|
|
|
RavenousScoot posted:all I can think of is cheesey rice and sausage or like cheese grits and bacon idk? peppers and onyums ...Kid Rock? 
|
|
#
?
Nov 16, 2023 05:25
|
|
|
|
Breakfast burrito without eggs just sounds like shawarma.
|
|
#
?
Nov 16, 2023 05:30
|
|
|
|
chopped but instead of mandatory ingredients it's banned ones
code: |
|
#
?
Nov 16, 2023 05:48
|
|
|
|
I guess you could just do home fries
|
|
#
?
Nov 16, 2023 06:00
|
|
|
RavenousScoot posted:I'll bite I'll type em out on my dispo computer tomorrow. ain't no way I'm phone posting such epic yarns
|
|
#
?
Nov 16, 2023 06:25
|
|
|
|
voted 5 for eggs, no notes |
|
#
?
Nov 16, 2023 20:30
|
|
|
RavenousScoot posted:I'll bite i typed it out and then realized it's not a v appropriate story for BYOB. oh well 
Areola Grande fucked around with this message at 02:02 on Nov 17, 2023
|
|
#
?
Nov 17, 2023 00:49
|
|
|
|
Areola Grande posted:The moral of the story is u shouldn't shoot birbs for fun. Shoot some soda cans or better yet don't shoot anything at all. bummer story but honest with longterm good resolution  dad had me take a shot at a groundhog in the cow field once, idk at this point (or even then?) if I missed or missed™ I mean guns are cool but I don't have any and could maybe partition my noog to let me shoot something for food but like I'm not trying to do that I'll still eat meat tho 
RavenousScoot fucked around with this message at 02:37 on Nov 17, 2023
code: |
|
#
?
Nov 17, 2023 02:00
|
|
|
cause i grew up in backwoods PA when i turned 12 and legally able to hunt deer my dad bought me a beautiful 6mm rifle since i was and am so short and skinny he bought me a youth model and had one of his friends do some beautiful custom wood burning for the stock all excited he took me to go shoot it in winter (my bday is dec 15th) I was so skinny and short the kick of the rifle knocked me off the bench into the snow the next thing I remember after firing is staring up in the sky flat on my back with my ears ringing it scared the bejeesus out of me and i didn’t shoot it for years and got my first deer with a .218 if someone will tell what all you cool young hip kids use for image hosting I’ll post a pic of it
|
|
#
?
Nov 17, 2023 02:32
|
|
|
|
HUSKY DILF posted:if someone will tell what all you cool young hip kids use for image hosting I’ll post a pic of it I think most people use imgur there was some sort of issue with it deleting old pictures but in this case I don't think it matters I post images privately to a tumblr I don't use like some sort of maniac and use that to host
code: |
|
#
?
Nov 17, 2023 02:50
|
|
|
RavenousScoot posted:I think most people use imgur 
|
|
#
?
Nov 17, 2023 04:10
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 8, 2024 08:24 |
|
|
 I feel u husky dilf. not for the first time either   
|
|
#
?
Nov 17, 2023 10:08
|
|