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Ask for a gooning setup for Christmas
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Dec 12, 2023 22:54
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Blurry Gray Thing posted:Your wanted rating resets once you reach home base, because the cops refuse to enter. When the CDC team shows up you try to fight them off by tossing your full cum vases at them and spraying them with taint boil juice. Or you try and seduce the  CDC people with your sunken bath tub doom bathroom.
wesleywillis fucked around with this message at 23:47 on Dec 12, 2023 |
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Dec 12, 2023 23:41
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These pants were made for jackin' and that's just what they'll do one of these days these pants are gonna jack off all of you
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Dec 13, 2023 01:25
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Animal-Mother posted:These pants were made for jackin' Mr. Powers definitely has a pair.
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Dec 13, 2023 01:31
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These JO pants would make an absolutely hilarious joke gift but there is no way a package from "bateworld" is coming anywhere near my house with me as a recipient on the package. Also, I'm in Europe so I'll very likely have to be at the customs office to pay taxes on my jerking off pants in front of a bunch of people asking questions and I don't really need that in my life right now
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Dec 13, 2023 01:42
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GABA ghoul posted:These JO pants would make an absolutely hilarious joke gift but there is no way a package from "bateworld" is coming anywhere near my house with me as a recipient on the package.  prude alert
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Dec 13, 2023 19:36
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GABA ghoul posted:These JO pants would make an absolutely hilarious joke gift but there is no way a package from "bateworld" is coming anywhere near my house with me as a recipient on the package. Certainly if they ask you the contents of the package, rather than saying "clothing" or being more specific and saying "pants", you are legally obligated to tell them that these are pants nade specifically for jerking off. YES MR CUSTOMS/TAX AND DUTY OFFICER, THESE ARE PANTS WHICH I HAVE SPECIFICALLY PURCHASE TO GIVE ME EASY ACCESS TO CRANK MY HOG, BECAUSE I ENJOY CRANKING MY HOG AND AM TOO LAZY TO REMOVE MY PANTS TO DO SO, SO I BOUGHT PANTS TO WEAR FOR THE EXPRESS PURPOSE OF BEING EASY TO GET MY HOG SO I CAN CRANK IT LIKE SOULJA BOY"!!!
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Dec 13, 2023 20:58
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Just LOL if you think you're getting the jack pants any time before next Christmas with the massive log of back orders they've surely racked up at this point
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Dec 13, 2023 21:00
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wesleywillis posted:Certainly if they ask you the contents of the package, rather than saying "clothing" or being more specific and saying "pants", you are legally obligated to tell them that these are pants nade specifically for jerking off. Lol, almost. You get called to come to their office to pick up your packet and then they open it in front of you while a bunch of other bored customers wait in line behind you in full sight of the content. Then they ask for the invoice so they can calculate the duty + taxes(or confirm that you are below the duty free threshold). If you can't show a credible invoice they go to the sender's onlineshop to look up the value, at which point you gotta give them the full name of the product. Either way, your ownership of the cranking pants ends up on official government documents. You got one part wrong though: You don't have to explain why you ordered the pants. I mean, they will definitely ask, but you can refuse to answer. It's nobody's business why you are getting these cranking pants made specifically for cranking your dick
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Dec 13, 2023 21:17
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Looks like I've been a real goon all these years in both regards. I've been a hybrid spec all these years and didn't know.
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Dec 13, 2023 21:24
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$80 is pretty steep for sweatpants with a zipper
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Dec 13, 2023 21:52
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MrQwerty posted:$80 is pretty steep for sweatpants with a zipper They're grey though, the best kind of sweatpants
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Dec 13, 2023 21:54
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YeahTubaMike posted:They're grey though, the best kind of sweatpants 
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Dec 13, 2023 21:56
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GABA ghoul posted:Lol, almost. You get called to come to their office to pick up your packet and then they open it in front of you while a bunch of other bored customers wait in line behind you in full sight of the content. Then they ask for the invoice so they can calculate the duty + taxes(or confirm that you are below the duty free threshold). If you can't show a credible invoice they go to the sender's onlineshop to look up the value, at which point you gotta give them the full name of the product. Either way, your ownership of the cranking pants ends up on official government documents. I guess that's what you get for living in a commie youropeen country!!!
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Dec 13, 2023 21:57
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cumstains on my sweat pants? I prefer to call it "battle damage"
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Dec 13, 2023 22:47
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Can't stop thinking about thos pants
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Dec 13, 2023 23:37
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WAR CRIME GIGOLO posted:Ask for a gooning setup for Christmas #GoonUp
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Dec 13, 2023 23:37
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We get Interview magazine at work and they had some sweatpants photo shoot with an influencer I’ve never heard of. Anyway, this one pair of sweatpants reminded me of the JO pants.
Lt. Cock fucked around with this message at 23:49 on Dec 13, 2023 |
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Dec 13, 2023 23:47
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Your jeans’ zipper works just fine for this already. You don’t know how stimulating the pinching is til you try it.
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Dec 14, 2023 01:08
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Lt. Cock posted:We get Interview magazine at work and they had some sweatpants photo shoot with an influencer I’ve never heard of. Anyway, this one pair of sweatpants reminded me of the JO pants. sweatpants look like saints row 2 graphics. hell the model's covered in what looks like tattoos from the in-game parlor
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Dec 14, 2023 04:00
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... why is he holding a toaster?
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Dec 14, 2023 04:00
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cumpantry posted:... why is he holding a toaster? Why aren’t you?
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Dec 14, 2023 04:03
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Influencers love Pop-Tarts
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Dec 14, 2023 04:06
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cumpantry posted:... why is he holding a toaster? Don't bother him, he's influencing. You're just too old to get it, man.
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Dec 14, 2023 04:09
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cumpantry posted:... why is he holding a toaster? That's 3O
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Dec 14, 2023 04:21
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Lt. Cock posted:We get Interview magazine at work and they had some sweatpants photo shoot with an influencer I’ve never heard of. Anyway, this one pair of sweatpants reminded me of the JO pants. Yellow vulva pants Perfect for, uh,
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Dec 14, 2023 05:32
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Sprained my balls during my last goonathon. I might have to sit this season out.
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Dec 14, 2023 07:36
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bossy lady posted:Sprained my balls during my last goonathon. I might have to sit this season out. You can do it, champ. I believe in you. If we lose this one, Reddit will get to take the Goon Cave.
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Dec 14, 2023 12:57
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bossy lady posted:Sprained my balls during my last goonathon. I might have to sit this season out. its very important that you get a good pair of JO pants so you don't incur any more traumatic ball sprain injuries in the future
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Dec 14, 2023 13:00
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bossy lady posted:Sprained my balls during my last goonathon. I might have to sit this season out. Feed your balls. https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a19694609/how-to-increase-semen
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Dec 14, 2023 14:01
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new concept: wework but for gooncaves
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Dec 14, 2023 14:23
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i wear the pants backward so i can put a suction cup dildo on a park bench and gently caress my rear end in a top hat discreetly in public
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Dec 14, 2023 15:59
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Samuel L. ACKSYN posted:new concept: wework but for gooncaves
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Dec 14, 2023 21:57
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nice obelisk idiot posted:freestanding gooning booths at the airport that cost an obscene amount of money Japan has long been a leader in the capsule gooning space
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Dec 14, 2023 22:32
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A goon by any other name would smell as gross
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Dec 15, 2023 18:17
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bossy lady posted:Sprained my balls during my last goonathon. I might have to sit this season out. Just rub some dirt on it and get back out there
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Dec 15, 2023 22:33
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bossy lady posted:Sprained my balls during my last goonathon. I might have to sit this season out. Consider renting your goon cave out on Gooni while you’re out of commission. Make the space work for you.
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Dec 16, 2023 01:47
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Dixville posted:A goon by any other name would smell as gross Be not afraid of goonness. Some are born goons, some achieve goonness, and others have goonness thrust upon them.
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Dec 16, 2023 02:28
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Buce posted:that and all the ssris Didn't need to be called out like that but thanks
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