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Smugworth posted:My rear end hurts. Can't poo poo straight I think they could use you over in the cupcake icing department, the machine is on the fritz again
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# ? Dec 23, 2023 16:18 |
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# ? May 11, 2024 16:15 |
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Santa says you're behind on your payments. I better not find out you've been skimming product. It'd be a real shame if you ended up like KB Toys. Santa took out the whole Lionel family, and he can do the same to you.
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# ? Dec 23, 2023 16:21 |
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Buttchocks posted:Santa says you're behind on your payments. I better not find out you've been skimming product. It'd be a real shame if you ended up like KB Toys. Santa took out the whole Lionel family, and he can do the same to you. Toy's R' Us sends its regards
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# ? Dec 23, 2023 16:23 |
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My former username would have fit right in at Santa’s Workshop. But ever since Halloween, North Pole’s Human Resources passed on me because monsters don’t fit in with the Christmas image. There was a whole movie about it with a skeleton named Jack, and that was their reasoning.
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# ? Dec 23, 2023 16:30 |
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(swallows) (Santa pats me on the head)
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# ? Dec 23, 2023 20:09 |
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Alright, that does it, no-one is leaving this shift tonight until we figure out who's been "pleasuring" Santa's magical Tele-Talker. This has been the third time in two months that the Old Man's been blasted by a faceful of sugarplum gravy upon starting the drat thing up.
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# ? Dec 23, 2023 21:11 |
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# ? Dec 23, 2023 21:13 |
what? no pleasure?
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# ? Dec 23, 2023 21:17 |
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It’s a living
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# ? Dec 23, 2023 22:54 |
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Songbearer posted:Why are the railings all made out of candy cane?! Ignoring the lack of food hygiene standards, they just can't handle any sort of impact! So many elves have fallen to their deaths or just died of diabetes or somehow both at the same time. When I recommended steel painted to have candy cane stripes Santa put me in the Naughty Elf Box for three days Things ain’t been the same around here since Elflon took over
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# ? Dec 23, 2023 23:41 |
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Okay, nobody panic, but I just got news back from Christmas Town that the Old Man's been taken hostage by some kind of Halloween-aligned holiday separatist regime. With Christmas day just hours away our defense comittee has unaminously-agreed to escalate to the immediate bombing of Halloween Town until Santa is returned to us.
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# ? Dec 25, 2023 03:33 |
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I crafted something of a special order this year, but the big man won't deliver it so we're stuck with it. It's some puzzle box, called the "Lament Configuration." I built the drat thing and I can't even figure out what it does or how it works. Anyone else want to try it?
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# ? Dec 25, 2023 03:50 |
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nobody wants to work anymore
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# ? Dec 25, 2023 03:51 |
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for the love of god stop putting candy canes in your assholes. the infirmary is bogged down enough
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# ? Dec 25, 2023 04:21 |
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You can't have seasonal depression when every day feels like Christmas. It's just called depression at that point.
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# ? Dec 25, 2023 06:18 |
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# ? May 11, 2024 16:15 |
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Have you ever smelled a toilet clogged with a 3 billion cookie poo poo?
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# ? Dec 25, 2023 06:23 |