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Mix. posted:We made sure to pay them below minimum wage, because it was a really difficult job. If you make a lot of money, you don't work as hard. That's just the truth. you thought it was mastermind, but it was me, amazon mechanical turk E: The update is at the bottom of the previous page.
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Apr 30, 2024 00:00
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| # ? May 6, 2024 11:38 |
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“These dumb rubes. Puppets dancing on our strings. The detective scored rankings won’t change anything, they’ll just vote for the pairs that we say are good. The illusion of control within our meticulously desig... wait what, they voted wrong! Oh no!”
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Apr 30, 2024 09:05
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The detectives are presumably very good at picking up inconsistencies. If the rankings are that different from how they voted, all they'd need to do is compare a few of the votes, so even splitting them up in three or four groups doesn't mean they won't figure it out. So the question is now, will the game masters stick to the original plan and risk discovery, or will they alter the plan?
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Apr 30, 2024 09:17
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It would be interesting if this discrepancy in expected ratings was engineered on purpose by detectives who want to test it. But I'm also just amused at the idea of them all voting their true opinions, and the gamemasters getting their hipster taste in detectives all offended
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Apr 30, 2024 10:11
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I'm really enjoying the evil puppermaster just being bland rear end corporate nonsense so far, complete with its own idiots and intelligent folk. It's a nice change of pace for a mystery.
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Apr 30, 2024 15:17
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 The detectives say goodbye to each other for the day, in anticipation of Stage Two. [BGM: Thinking Thoughts]  We'd finished watching the detectives' videos. I'd laughed at almost every single one for one reason or another. The detectives in the videos shot me death glares, but it was worth it. Detective 775 hadn't laughed once, though it was probably harder to when you were holding yourself up with one hand. He said it was for 'circulation reasons', but I knew that was just an excuse to goof off. Like he'd predicted, we'd come in third again. After seeing our video, I wondered once again if I was slowing him down. He seemed confident enough, so I was sure he had something up his sleeves. ...Probably literally. [BGM: Trickster]   Do you know... who the best detective is here? Yeah. It's Red July, right? What an icon. Wrong. You get an E plus plus, which is closer to an F minus than an E sharp. Is it close to a D minor? No. ...What about an E augmented? You fail the class. Okay, why? She's the fastest detective here. But that doesn't mean she's the best. Well, you failed to provide the proper context for your question. If you meant best in terms of quality, I would say... Well, probably you. Wrong again! Taking a crime scene seriously is a must for any real detective, and turning it into a circus is practically the complete opposite.Wow, couldn't he take a compliment? That's pretty self-deprecating. Don't take it too seriously.  Never take anything seriously, unless it's a joke. But you just said – oh, whatever. So who IS the best detective? I'll give you one more guess. … Slakes...? Wrong yet again! Wow! Isn't this like asking who the best soccer player is? How can I be wrong? It's just an opinion! Let's not get into subjectivity. I have a 34 volume tome about THAT argument. Sorry, but the tome proves that there is an objective truth to everything. But who determines what an objective truth is? Shhhhh! Shh! Shh! Shh! It's all covered in the tome. Cool, that's basically an appeal to authority fallacy, but I'm just going to ignore it since we don't have that much time. Just tell me what you're thinking. I'm thinking... Her. ...Is she behind the greeter? No no. The best detective IS the greeter. Huh? I didn't say they were in the competition. That's cheating! The greeter, who I have christened with the incredible name of Haney, is the best detective here. She was the winner of this competition in the past. Now she's watching for new talent, on the lookout for a possible apprentice and ultimately a successor. How do you know that? Did she tell you in the elevator? I'm a detective. Oh, I see, you're a detective huh, oh gosh I didn't know! I deduced it. WOW! You deduced it! How cool – good for you. Let me just walk you through my deductive process. Yes please, go ahead. It's like an – Oreo? Give me a break, that's completely out of context. Orrreannnnge.... ...Orange. You just changed it!!He cleared his throat and glared at me. It's like an orange. You don't have to peel the orange to know there's fruit inside. Similarly, I don't have to ask Haney if she's a detective to know that she's got the blood of a crime-solver in her veins. That... isn't really an explanation. What clued you in? Several things! First! Her blond hair – What?! That's stupid! It's dyed, but more on that later. Second! The look of boredom on her face – Her expression?! Why would the Game-master hire someone so unenthusiastic? I don't know, why does the guy at Target tell me his job sucks without me asking every time I buy fifteen pairs of the same jacket? The third! How she knocked me out – What, was her punch especially deductive in nature or something?! Well, how did she know I was faking it? The protocol was for people who got injured. For all she knew, I was seriously hurt. If she's a doctor, then why work as a greeter? The obvious answer is that she deduced it. Um, that sounds like a gish gallop argument to me. I'm completely unconvinced. ...Fine. I recognized her. I'm naturally familiar with many detectives. Haney is the best. What? Why didn't you just say that from the beginning?! It was a test. Oh stop it with your 'It was a test'! Alright, it wasn't a test, just wanted to look smart.Well, now what was I supposed to say? Stupid honesty!! I sulked in silence for a few moments. The silence was eventually broken by the announcement chime. *ding dong diiiing!* [BGM: A Matter of Simple Deduction]   Directions for your hotel route will be provided shortly by the greeter, Haney. Huh? I thought you made up that name. I did.Now I was even more confused. She liked it, and now it's her fake name. Aha! I get it. So you were talking to her in the elevator! No wonder she saw through your injury, kind of hard not to when the supposedly wounded detective sits up and starts casually chatting!I knew I'd hit the nail on the head when he didn't immediately retort. Showed how much he REALLY cared about finding out whot he Game-master was.   Here's your route map. The hotel is optional, but it's all expenses paid so I recommend it. Thank you Haney!She walked away without another word. ...So what is this? Are the directions written in invisible ink? You mean you don't know how to read a map? Forget that, I don't know how to read... period! I'm completely illiterate. What?! I only listen to audiobooks. I can read stop signs. That's about it. There was no way I was buying that. I decided he was just trying to make me feel better after our heated exchange. Thanks for the confidence boost. Guess you'll be relying on me to show you the way to the hotel.Great, now I could pay him back properly for helping me solve the last case. Quid pro quo, or whatever. I'm not staying there, I'm going back home.There went that plan. I felt a presence to my left, and Haney materialized out of nowhere. [BGM: Mysteries Everywhere]   Go to the hotel. 775 shuddered. I felt it too – like ice had formed over my entire body. It had just only a second, a one way exchange, but when she looked into my eyes I didn't need to see proof to know 775 was right about her. Her eyes were like floodlights. They saw my soul, and read it like an absorbing work of fiction.  Uh... Disregard my previous statement.Looked like 775 would be joining me at the hotel after all.
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May 1, 2024 00:06
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I'm not gonna do back to back updates SUPER often, don't want it to get overwhelming, but sometimes if the chapters are particularly short/bite-sized I'll do it to keep things breezy 
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May 1, 2024 00:07
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Soo... did the author try to get some product placement money? Doesn't seem like there's much sense in using a real brand as opposed to a made-up one or generic cookies.
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May 1, 2024 12:18
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I think it's just that most people have a concept what an oreo is. So this makes for such deep and personally relatable similies. If he was talking about Oseos, I would assume that he's talking about an in-universe knockoff brand and everyone would be confused why he uses the knockoff for his rhetoric. cant cook creole bream fucked around with this message at 13:55 on May 1, 2024 |
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May 1, 2024 12:42
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Oreo is probably the easiest way to explain a 'sandwich cookie' without having to actually explain one.
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May 1, 2024 12:56
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 A simple staff member at the mysterious detective competition is actually a detective from a past contest! She urges Detective Nell and Detective 775 to go to the accommodations provided by the competition, against 775's original intention. [BGM: Silence]  It took a while to navigate us to the hotel. It wasn't because I couldn't figure out the map, I was just unfamiliar with the area. A cozy-looking building awaited us. A sign outside said 'Quail Hotel'. What awaited us... ...was the Second Stage of the mysterious detective competition. [BGM: Hotel Quail]  The hotel had a distinctly old fashioned vibe, but it was a comfortable kind of old fashioned. There was a desk for the receptionist, but nobody was there.  A crowd of detectives was gathered in a lounge area with couches and a piano. 775 nudged me. That's Detective Slakes. The detective ranked second? Yeah. He's pretty cool. He knows how to fold napkins. What about his skills as a detective? Eh.  Are you talking about me behind my back again, clown boy?[NEW BIO: Detective Slakes] Stop calling me clown boy. I'm a clown GUY! Right, right, yeesh. How's he treating you, Nell? Saw the video. There was no need to do a headstand. That's what I thought!! Headstands are fine exercise for strapping young gents. Simply capital! Alright, whatever. Is that a piano? It could be a harpsichord. Those cunning harpsichords, always disguising themselves as a piano. A harpsichord has two sets of keys, “detective”. Let me at those ivories, and I'll bang out a fantastic tune. Please do! I'd love to hear some Chopin! Sure, I know a little Nocturne. He sat at the piano and cracked his knuckles. But when he pressed down on the keys... No sound came out. Uh... The only keys that work are C, F#, and A...He played them, one after the other. I recognized the melody. We all did. The Game-master's announcement tune. *ding dong diiiing!*  That's right, contestants. It's my favorite song.Was he summoned by the melody? Weird. Welcome to the Second Stage of the contest. Every detective who did not go to the hotel would have been eliminated. But, shockingly, you're all here. Thought I could catch you out. But here we are. I'm a bit disappointed, honestly. Tomorrow, the contest will resume. Today, you should all sleep in the provided rooms.I looked at 775 for his reaction. I didn't deduce this. Well I'm glad you admit it! If Haney hadn't given you that tip, you would've been eliminated. Speaking of Haney...She had appeared at the hotel desk and was handing keys to detectives. We were handed our keys. I got room 257. Detective 775 got 259. The detective pairs seemed to be deliberately put next to each other. We headed for the elevator.  I pushed the button before 775 could get to it. He glowered for a moment, then motioned at the button box. Look at that panel... It looks like it slides. What do you mean? He pushed at the panel. [BGM: Mysteries Everywhere]  It slid over, revealing a completely new set of elevator buttons. But these buttons were green. What do you make of that? They didn't hire a color coordinator? The green half is probably the criminals' side.He impulsively pushed a green button. The elevator halted. I could hear gears shifting and turning around us... With a jolt, the elevator started moving again... Sideways.  What did you do now?! Let's go meet the people who are making up these mysteries! I have a few questions.I turned off my accusatory stare and sighed. Yeah, me too. But warn me next time. I will... do my best not to.What a jerk. [BGM: Criminal Side]  The doors opened with an ominous creak, and we stepped into a corridor that could only be accurately described as being... trashy. Any moment, a criminal could walk out of a door... Was Oscar the Grouch the decorator?775 didn't reply.  Sorry. That was supposed to break the tension, and it didn't really work. No, it didn't. Want to hear a joke about a fish? ...Okay? A fish walks into a bar and calls out to the bartender. He says, 'I'd like a glass of water, with beer in it too.' And...? That's all. The joke is that the fish puts the emphasis on the water, even though he's really ordering a beer. People are always biased in one way or another. That's an important lesson to learn. Sure, but I sort of wanted to hear a REAL joke.It had been a disappointing fish joke, but it had successfully broken the tension. Doesn't seem like anyone's around here. There'll be people... down in the lobby. The lobby? We were just there. Not that lobby. There's more than one. That one was for detectives. The one we're going to is the one for criminals. There was a long flight of stairs at the end of the hallway. I suspected as much... the elevators don't go here.He hopped down the steps three at a time.  We reached ground level. 775 looked through the glass of the lobby door, and then opened it.  We were greeted by the sight of a room with the now familiar run-down aesthetic, and several criminals chatting by the receptionist desk, where somebody had placed a plate of cookies. It was an exact mirror of the detective lobby... If we get in a sticky situation... Just remember the fish and the beer! Not helpful.We approached a nearby criminal who was the largest human I'd ever seen.  Rough past few rounds, huh? Yeah... well, for some. But I've been in sixth since this thing began and I haven't given it up yet. This is my partner Laney. I'm Craney.Couldn't he have thought of a better naming convention than 'aney'?! Anyway, what's your name? Can't you read my nametag? Um... it's kind of high up. Oh. Yeah, true. It's 'Killersoul'.[NEW BIO: Mastermind Killersoul] I almost laughed, but managed to stifle it. I KNOW it's stupid. Everyone tells me so. What? Noooo... It's really... really cool. Thanks. Well, it does kind of sound like a teenager thought of it. They're locked in now, so I can't change it. I'm just trying to be intimidating for the contest. You're plenty intimidating already, without an edgy name. Aww shucks. Say, what are you guys's codenames? I'll look for you on the boards! I'm called... Sleeves.He was SO BAD WITH NAMES!! This is... Four-Eyes.Excuse me?! See you around.He left, but not before shoving two cookies in his mouth at once. 775 made eyes at the doorway.  We've probably palled around enough here. Yeah.We left the lobby, went back up the stairs... And boarded the elevator, this time headed for the right floor. [BGM: Mysteries Everywhere]  What a waste of time. No. It most certainly wasn't. That entire encounter was strange. It was one of the least threatening conversations I've ever had. Don't judge a book by its cover. I think you mean 'Don't judge an Oreo by its packaging'. That's not an expression. Oh really? Have you ever had a birthday-flavored Oreo? It tastes like melted candles. Disgusting. No comment. Anyway, the whole trip was worth it just for these.He flipped up his sleeves. Two cookies flew out of them, and he handed one to me. No thanks... calories. Everything has calories. I'm trying to watch my weight. You have terrible taste in film.I let his bad joke go unremarked upon... [BGM: Silence]  The doors opened to an almost identical corridor, but this time much cleaner. I opened the door to my room.  Finally, I could relax. On one of the beds lay a boxed present for me, from the Game-master. I opened it. There was nothing inside but a note that said 'It's the thought that counts'. Puzzled, I went to bed. ***** [Killersoul's Interview]  How long have you been incarcerated? Hmm... only three months!What is your modus? When I approach a crime, I try to plan everything out so that no trace of me exists. It's like I'm a ghost! I leave no trace – which is, in a way, how you know it's me! ...Maybe I should've copied someone else's modus...Why do you want to win this competition? I'm not in it to win it, I'm in it to kick it! What? Kick it! Slang for relax! Hey – remember the 90s?! I'll be here all week!How well do you work with others? I get along with mostly everybody! I think it's my laidback attitude... People just like me, man! They always want to talk! No further questions. That's alright by me!
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May 3, 2024 00:50
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I hope Killersoul is in for tax fraud or something
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May 3, 2024 01:03
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Mix. posted:
I think that one was actually kind of clever, and I'm not sure what that says about me ...
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May 3, 2024 01:41
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Antivehicular posted:I hope Killersoul is in for tax fraud or something He kidnapped a puppy out of a home that was abusing it and rehomed it to a loving family.
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May 3, 2024 02:14
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TheDavies posted:I think that one was actually kind of clever, and I'm not sure what that says about me ... It's okay, I chortled at that one too.
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May 3, 2024 14:29
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 Detective 775 and Detective Nell took a trip to the criminal side of the competition. Was it worth the risk? [BGM: Waking]  The complimentary room was nice. It reminded me of the first mystery I'd solved, 'Eternally Checked-In'. I had read a paper on smoke inhalation the previous day, so that made it easier. Also, my partner had insisted on examining the dummy before anything else. Detective Sally... she was still in the contest, but much lower in the rankings... Things had happened pretty quickly for me. It was early in the morning, around seven. I'd slept in my clothes, and my hair was all messed up. I thought about a shower, but there wasn't time and I hated showers anyway. The water was always either too hot or too cold and never just... warm, but slightly hot. The Game-master's announcement tune soon played... *ding dong diiiing!*  Good morning. In case you were wondering, we own this entire hotel, and have closed it from normal business today for the competition. Please step out into the hall now, as the Second Stage is beginning!My hotel door unlocked by itself. Creepy.  I walked out and locked the door behind me, like it mattered. Head down to the lobby, where we'll make some general announcements.As I walked down the hall, Detective 775 came out of the room opposite mine. He was wearing extra big shoes today. He'd probably say 'The feet lead to the head, so if there's room to spare in the shoes, that means you'll have a clearer mind' or something even more obtuse if I asked him why he was wearing them, so I kept my mouth shut. Let's play a game. Alright, I'm... game.As always, he didn't laugh at my joke. I call it the 'Induction Game'. What? Don't mix work with play. I'll say some fact that I made up, and then you try and come up with logical reasons for the fact to be true.Other detectives stepped out into the hall, headed for the lobby. Go ahead, I'm ready. The detective behind us uses drugs to solve crimes. Huh. I glanced at the detective, a short, pale man. Um, he's a bit twitchy. I don't see any sign of twitchiness. Quite the opposite, actually, he looks perfectly calm.Was he going to nitpick every answer I gave him?! I thought it was just a simple game! Fine. His long sleeves could be to conceal the marks of injection needles. That's pure conjecture. You're jumping to conclusions. Yeah, this game of yours kind of forces you to do that. Or maybe you're just a bad detective. Have you already forgotten about... your method? Um... you want me to go up to him and put my face ten millimeters away from his? Hmm. Because that's my method, 77-something. Why don't you just tell me what you're thinking? I can't possibly tell you what I'm thinking. Brain language is impossible to pronounce.I was on the edge of throwing up my hands and refusing to work with him ever again. But then...  You know what, Nell, you're right. I've been a little hard on you. I've forced you to do lots of things you didn't want to do. So, I'm sorry. Oh... Well, uh, it's fine I guess... Great. Look – he keeps the drugs right there in the band of his hat. See?I felt pretty stupid for not catching that one... Wait, so this isn't just a game of yours? That's his real method? Yes. Detective Sess, also known as 'The Narcotic Detective'. Basically, he creates drugs that he claims enhance certain deductive abilities. I don't care if it works or not, because however he does it, he's a competitor. He's in fifth now. That's not too far from us... I can hear you guys talking about me.[NEW BIO: Detective Sess] We ignored him and continued down the stairs to the lobby... When we arrived, the detectives were all near the bar, making a fuss about something. [BGM: Mysteries Everywhere]  Haney was lying in the middle of the floor near the bar, with a wine glass spilled next to her and her hand clutching her throat. Oh my god! Are you okay?[BGM: Trickster]   Hey. You guys tell me how I died, and the announcements will begin. We have to do what?  Hmm! Hmm! Hmm! A simple, simple mystery for simple, simple sleuths to solve![NEW BIO: Detective Eastman] I recognized him right away – Detective Eastman. When I had first arrived at the contest, he'd singled me out and began lecturing me about what a great detective he was. ...I wasn't a fan. It is extremely obvious to me that Haney here slipped on a banana peel, as is the classic joke... What an incredibly stupid way to die! No, that's not the solution. That was merely a joke! Because of course the obvious, obvious, obvious answer to this easy, easy, easy mystery is... You were poisoned! No, that's not the solution. Ahaha! You're narrowing down the possibilities for me – you don't even realize you're playing right into my hands! The real answer to this extremely easy mystery is that you were stabbed. No, that's not the solution. Should the corpse be talking? Ah! That's the answer! You're talking, so you never died in the first place! The mystery is that there is no mystery!There was a dreadful silence. ...No.[BGM: Red]   There was an expanding sponge hidden in the olive that came with your martini. When you drank it down, it expanded in your throat, you choked and died. You can tell it's a martini from the smell of what spilled and the kind of glass it was served in, and a martini usually comes with an olive. There's a toothpick in the nearby trashcan, I'm sure. Your hand is cupped around your throat in an odd way, hinting at an obstruction, probably caused by an object. The question then was, how did you swallow something that size without realizing it? Because it wasn't big when you swallowed it. Easy. Now let's get on with the Second Stage. Yeah. You're right. There will be an announcement soon. Feel free to have a drink from the bar while you wait... But I don't recommend the martini. Wink. Did you just SAY 'Wink'? Hey Red, what the hell was that? You're the top-ranked detective, don't you think you should have let the less skilled detective take a crack at it before you just blurted out the solution? I was becoming overwhelmed. My method has been... causing me problems, recently. What kind of problems? I'll explain later...*ding dong diiiing!* [BGM: A Matter of Simple Deduction]  Congratulations, Detectives! You solved the mini-mystery. That mystery was an example. There are sixty criminals currently in this competition. Each one has his or her own mode of operation – which we call their 'Modus'. Like 'Method' for detectives. That's right, Slakes, my charming boy. This mystery was, quite obviously, the work of Mastermind Gag, a criminal who specializes in choking his victims. What an appropriate name he has! ...It should be, because we have nicknamed all the criminals. They do not use their real names in the contest. In this next stage, I'm going to have criminals switch moduses in each round. You can't just solve the crime, you also have to tell me which criminal committed it. You'll be looking for clues that'll reveal which criminal is pretending to be another. For instance... If Mastermind Sparks was pretending to be Mastermind Gag when committing this crime, he would've left the smell of smoke behind, or he might not have been able to resist his pyromaniac tendencies and set the martini on fire, since alcohol is flammable. Get the idea? We'll begin soon anyway, so it doesn't matter.[BGM: Hotel Quail]  This'll be fun. By the way, I figured out why the criminals have nicknames... Oh, really? It's for our benefit. Being professional detectives, most of us, we might have grudges against particular criminals. In order to leave that behind at the entrance, they don't reveal the real names of criminals. It's like an Oreo. The cookies of grudge and bias are held back by the frosting of obliviousness. That's... nice.I was only half-listening through my irritation at having to suffer through another bad analogy about an Oreo. Did he work for the company or something?? Was this some sort of sponsorship? Why an Oreo? They weren't even good! They hadn't been good for decades!! *ding dong diiiing!*  The Second Stage is now ready. Please go back to your rooms.Back to our rooms? Uh-oh. My worst fears were soon confirmed... [BGM: Mysteries Everywhere]  After climbing back up the stairs to our floor, me and 775 entered our rooms to find them set up like mystery rooms, with dummies and atmospheric flickering lights. I wondered why they gave us separate rooms initially. It would make sense for partners to share one room, but now I see why.I could think of a few reasons why sharing rooms wasn't ideal, but I didn't have time to argue about it... We needed to focus on solving the mystery. ***** [Eastman's Interview] [BGM: Interviews]  What experience have you had as a detective? I have vast experience, experience that you cannot even begin to comprehend! I would like a specific answer. Ready yourself... I have been working as a volunteer detective for... One year. Wow. What does 'volunteer detective' mean? I volunteer my services to people in need! They are always so grateful! I'm sure.What is your method? I use my remarkable intellect to come up with a bunch of different possibilities... If you keep thinking of different possibilities, you will eventually hit upon the truth! I've solved every single crime this way, to one hundred percent accuracy!Why do you want to win this competition? People laugh at me all the time... This competition will show them, once and for all, that I am the best! It will become a fact that they cannot deny!How well do you work with others? Heh! I don't just work 'well' with others, I work 'great' with others! They're all so secretly jealous of me that they're dying to work with me! That's why they don't return my calls – they're playing the waiting game! No further questions. Why don't you want to talk to me anymore? Don't you want to hear more from my brilliant mind??… Hello?
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May 4, 2024 16:36
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anilEhilated posted:Soo... did the author try to get some product placement money? Doesn't seem like there's much sense in using a real brand as opposed to a made-up one or generic cookies. Nell posted:I was only half-listening through my irritation at having to suffer through another bad analogy about an Oreo. Did he work for the company or something?? Was this some sort of sponsorship? Why an Oreo? They weren't even good! They hadn't been good for decades!!
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May 4, 2024 18:14
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This is a very strange game, both in-universe and out.
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May 4, 2024 23:07
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| # ? May 6, 2024 11:38 |
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Yeah, I feel like there has to be some kind of twist, although I'm hoping it's not going to turn into a standard death-game plot. I would also accept if the big reveal is "this is all straightforward and just being run by some eccentric billionaire who is having fun herding weirdos around," though.
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May 4, 2024 23:17
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