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Cowman
Feb 14, 2006

Beware the Cow





Slasherfan posted:

Sounds a little like Ticks (aka Infested) starring a pre fame Seth Green.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108339/

I found that on BadMovies.org, and the bugs are different, same type of plot just different bugs. The ones in the movie I'm thinking of are more cockroach like, those are more spider like. That movie is very similar though.
Edit: I think I just found it. It's apparently called They Nest, which rings a bell.

Cowman fucked around with this message at 04:51 on Jul 10, 2007

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mastur
Mar 26, 2007

queefing the ice beard.
Ok, a friend of mine is looking for the title of a movie, and I figured maybe one of you could help him out. Here are his details:

a boy inventor

a monster that turns out to be a crane at a bottom of a pond

it rises because of air bubbles

the boy makes an invention to make a large air bubble windshield thing to go to the bottom of said pond

It sounds pretty great.

Malus
Nov 17, 2006

The dicks ain't biting
There was a foreign film I saw when I was younger, maybe 9 years ago now, It was European, might have been German.

A family arrives in their car to a holiday house they own or rent in the mountains somewhere and they see their neighbours playing tennis with two men. It's all ok, the guys come around and introduce themselves. Later on the dog is killed and the two men come over asking for eggs, I think, and then barge their way into the house and kneecap the father of the family with their golfclubs.

The two guys procede to torture this family and kill them off one by one (I believe they were robbing them) and then the mother escapes and runs down a hedged in road but is caught again and the last scene in the movie is the two men taking her in a boat across a lake to another house. (I think they kill her on the boat) and then you see them knock on the door and ask this other family if they can borrow some eggs or flour.

Anyway It'd be cool just to know the name of this movie, I enjoyed it.

Action Jacktion
Jun 3, 2003

mastur posted:

a boy inventor

a monster that turns out to be a crane at a bottom of a pond

it rises because of air bubbles

the boy makes an invention to make a large air bubble windshield thing to go to the bottom of said pond

It sounds pretty great.
Frog Dreaming aka The Quest (this one gets asked a lot):

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091810/

Malus posted:

A family arrives in their car to a holiday house they own or rent in the mountains somewhere and they see their neighbours playing tennis with two men. It's all ok, the guys come around and introduce themselves. Later on the dog is killed and the two men come over asking for eggs, I think, and then barge their way into the house and kneecap the father of the family with their golfclubs.

The two guys procede to torture this family and kill them off one by one (I believe they were robbing them) and then the mother escapes and runs down a hedged in road but is caught again and the last scene in the movie is the two men taking her in a boat across a lake to another house. (I think they kill her on the boat) and then you see them knock on the door and ask this other family if they can borrow some eggs or flour.

Anyway It'd be cool just to know the name of this movie, I enjoyed it.
Funny Games:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119167/

Elohssa Gib
Aug 30, 2006

Easily Amused
1.Probably a mid 80's sci-fi comedy

Aliens invade a town for some reason, but the aliens are really stupid. If i remember correctly one tries to communicate with a car while standing in the middle of the road and get run over. And there might have been a scene where a rural cop has a shotgun that gets bent or blown up.


2. This was a preview on a movie we watched a lot when I was younger.
I think 80's loser gets a second chance movie. I can remember two specific lines used in the trailer, one was "You dropped the ball" and the other was "Are you horny to win" and took place at some sort of exercise where I seem to remember a bunch of middle aged men are humping the air until one falls over and then they all ended up on their backs withe their legs waving in the air. Might've had Jeff Goldblum but nothing on IMDb rings a bell.

Encryptic
May 3, 2007

Elohssa Gib posted:

1.Probably a mid 80's sci-fi comedy

Aliens invade a town for some reason, but the aliens are really stupid. If i remember correctly one tries to communicate with a car while standing in the middle of the road and get run over. And there might have been a scene where a rural cop has a shotgun that gets bent or blown up.

Sounds vaguely like some scenes in Superman II when Zod and company arrive on Earth.

ClydeUmney
May 13, 2004

One can hardly ignore the Taoist implications of "Fuck it, Dude. Let's go bowling."

Action Jacktion posted:

Funny Games:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119167/

Well, poo poo. I wish I didn't know that. I've always wanted to see that.

EDIT: Not blaming you, just saying I wish I didn't know how the whole thing played out.

Thoreau Like A Girl
Nov 20, 2006

ClydeUmney posted:

Well, poo poo. I wish I didn't know that. I've always wanted to see that.

EDIT: Not blaming you, just saying I wish I didn't know how the whole thing played out.

same here. it's been sitting on my "long wait" queue on Blockbuster Online for the last year =(

ThreeHeadedMonster
Mar 21, 2007

PANIC!!!!!
I've got 2, and if they are simple, please don't flame.

Movie 1 - I saw it on digital cable about 6-7 years ago, and it looked like it was from the late 70s-mid 80s. I remember there being 4 teens (2 boys, 2 girls) on a roadtrip, and their car breaks down or whatever, and they go check out this wax museum to see if they can get help, use a phone or whatever. There was the curator of the museum who was creepy and hit on one of the girls. Somewhere in the movie, I think one of the wax models turns out to be his wife or something. From what I remember, I think 3 of 4 people died, with the exception of the girl that the curator had a crush on, she passed out and woke up in a bed with him taking care of her. Stuff happens, and the only thing I remember is, she is driving away with the wax wife.

Please don't tell me its the original House of Wax that the remake was made with Paris Hilton.


Movie 2 - Really really crappy C or D movie. I rented it a long time ago. It was about a nerd (who looked like a normal stocky business man with black-rimmed glasses with tape on the nose) that was constantly pestered about being a nerd by the "dick" in the office, and the hot chicks, including one that he had a crush on. He eventually snapped and goes around the office killing his co-workers. Also, there's a memorable scene where the "dick" character goes up to one of the hot secretaries and puts his foot on her desk (think Captain Morgan pose) and says in the most unintentionally cheesy way "man, (secretary's name) my dick itches." Then he procedes to scratch his ankle, implying his dick is that long.

ThreeHeadedMonster fucked around with this message at 17:33 on Jul 13, 2007

Thoreau Like A Girl
Nov 20, 2006

ThreeHeadedMonster posted:

I've got 2, and if they are simple, please don't flame.

Movie 1 - I saw it on digital cable about 6-7 years ago, and it looked like it was from the late 70s-mid 80s. I remember there being 4 teens (2 boys, 2 girls) on a roadtrip, and their car breaks down or whatever, and they go check out this wax museum to see if they can get help, use a phone or whatever. There was the curator of the museum who was creepy and hit on one of the girls. Somewhere in the movie, I think one of the wax models turns out to be his wife or something. From what I remember, I think 3 of 4 people died, with the exception of the girl that the curator had a crush on, she passed out and woke up in a bed with him taking care of her. Stuff happens, and the only thing I remember is, she is driving away with the wax wife.

Please don't tell me its the original House of Wax that the remake was made with Paris Hilton.


Movie 2 - Really really crappy C or D movie. I rented it a long time ago. It was about a nerd (who looked like a normal stocky business man with black-rimmed glasses with tape on the nose) that was constantly pestered about being a nerd by the "dick" in the office, and the hot chicks, including one that he had a crush on. He eventually snapped and goes around the office killing his co-workers. Also, there's a memorable scene where the "dick" character goes up to one of the hot secretaries and puts his foot on her desk (think Captain Morgan pose) and says in the most unintentionally cheesy way "man, (secretary's name) my dick itches." Then he procedes to scratch his ankle, implying his dick is that long.

Could it be Tourist Trap or Waxworks?. None of these endings match yours, though.

no idea about the second one, but i really really REALLY hope somebody uses that line on me some day.

Thoreau Like A Girl fucked around with this message at 19:08 on Jul 13, 2007

Action Jacktion
Jun 3, 2003

Elohssa Gib posted:

1.Probably a mid 80's sci-fi comedy

Aliens invade a town for some reason, but the aliens are really stupid. If i remember correctly one tries to communicate with a car while standing in the middle of the road and get run over. And there might have been a scene where a rural cop has a shotgun that gets bent or blown up.
Spaced Invaders:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100666/

ThreeHeadedMonster
Mar 21, 2007

PANIC!!!!!

Venialblur posted:

Could it be Tourist Trap or Waxworks?. None of these endings match yours, though.

They are the same link actually. I don't remember the mannequins ever moving or anything. Maaaaybe, I'd have to see stils of the movie. I think I remember watching it because one of the girls wasn't wearing a bra, had somewhat big breasts and was always "nipply" (I was like 13 or 14, shut up).

e: after checking out the Wikipedia article, I'm almost sure that this is it. The "bowl of soup" sounds familiar, the masked killer sort of rings a bell, and it might be too cliche, but the "new highway means no business" sounds familiar too.

ThreeHeadedMonster fucked around with this message at 19:19 on Jul 13, 2007

Slasherfan
Dec 2, 2003
IS IT WRONG THAT I ONCE WROTE A HORROR STORY ABOUT THE BUDDIES? YOU KNOW, THE TALKING PUPPIES?

ThreeHeadedMonster posted:


Movie 2 - Really really crappy C or D movie. I rented it a long time ago. It was about a nerd (who looked like a normal stocky business man with black-rimmed glasses with tape on the nose) that was constantly pestered about being a nerd by the "dick" in the office, and the hot chicks, including one that he had a crush on. He eventually snapped and goes around the office killing his co-workers. Also, there's a memorable scene where the "dick" character goes up to one of the hot secretaries and puts his foot on her desk (think Captain Morgan pose) and says in the most unintentionally cheesy way "man, (secretary's name) my dick itches." Then he procedes to scratch his ankle, implying his dick is that long.

This kind of sounds like Killer Nerd

ThreeHeadedMonster
Mar 21, 2007

PANIC!!!!!

Slasherfan posted:

This kind of sounds like Killer Nerd

Yes! Thank you Slasherfan!

edit: Sonofabitch, after checking Wikipedia, in real life, the actor who plays the nerd lives in Berea, OH (near me).

ThreeHeadedMonster fucked around with this message at 01:30 on Jul 14, 2007

zombieman
Aug 8, 2003

That's one happy fucking egg!

ThreeHeadedMonster posted:

I've got 2, and if they are simple, please don't flame.

Movie 1 - I saw it on digital cable about 6-7 years ago, and it looked like it was from the late 70s-mid 80s. I remember there being 4 teens (2 boys, 2 girls) on a roadtrip, and their car breaks down or whatever, and they go check out this wax museum to see if they can get help, use a phone or whatever. There was the curator of the museum who was creepy and hit on one of the girls. Somewhere in the movie, I think one of the wax models turns out to be his wife or something. From what I remember, I think 3 of 4 people died, with the exception of the girl that the curator had a crush on, she passed out and woke up in a bed with him taking care of her. Stuff happens, and the only thing I remember is, she is driving away with the wax wife.

Please don't tell me its the original House of Wax that the remake was made with Paris Hilton.

It's definitely Tourist Trap.

ThreeHeadedMonster
Mar 21, 2007

PANIC!!!!!

zombieman posted:

It's definitely Tourist Trap.

Thank you both. :D

Elohssa Gib
Aug 30, 2006

Easily Amused

Action Jacktion posted:

Spaced Invaders:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100666/

Sweet, now I just have to find a copy.

Erudite Sybarite
Jun 11, 2007

Is that a first edition? I'm oddly aroused.
Please god help me, I have waited 15 years for someone to tell me.

I saw it on TBS as a back-to-back with something forgettable. It was in 1993, the exact same time that The Tommyknocker's miniseries was originally aired. It's the best memory of my childhood, and I can't loving remember what the hell it was called.

The plot revolved around these two kids, a girl and a boy that I think were cousins or close friends. The girl's uncle had given her a dollhouse that they kept in the backyard. It was nothing special, just a Victorian styled thing that every little girl has in film. What was really outstanding was the fact that when the children played with it, it would open to another world in which they would torture people.

I distinctly remember a teen/young adult couple being tied to some pillar and being told they would roast like hot dogs. Also, her uncle came back and threatened to take back the dollhouse, and the mother slapping the little boy.

As if the fact that they had a dollhouse with a doorway to another dimension wasn't cool enough, the best part was the fact that when they were done torturing their victims, they would put them behind this wall. I'm sure you've seen the films were a face comes through the wall, as if covered by liquid. It was like that, times thirty. There was also an old man, I think the little girl's grandfather, who asked her if she would like it if they did that to her.

I've looked for years for the name of this film, and I've asked all my friends who are film buffs, but not one can even get a name out. I don't want to die before I see it again.

ThreeHeadedMonster
Mar 21, 2007

PANIC!!!!!

Erudite Sybarite posted:

dollhouse type stuff

The Dollhouse Murders?
or
Amityville: Dollhouse?

Erudite Sybarite
Jun 11, 2007

Is that a first edition? I'm oddly aroused.

ThreeHeadedMonster posted:

The Dollhouse Murders?
or
Amityville: Dollhouse?
e
I've watched both since then, and it's neither. While The Dollhouse Murders is semi-close, it had no dolls, just people actually inside the house.

PvtJoker
Jan 3, 2005
Was on HBO Signature tonight.

Takes place in WWII - some German is guarding some kind of ruin with a silver cross that starts glowing, causing him to realize its real silver. So he calls his buddy over and they pry it off with their knives, revealing a secret passage. His buddy lowers him down where he finds another silver cross, touches it, and opens into a massive cavern which shoots a fireball at him.

Meanwhile, the Nazis murder a bunch of villagers and some guy with silver flashing eyes gets off a boat and onto a motorcycle with a package nobody can touch.

I think I saw Crispin Glover in a bit part as one of the Nazis.

It was so horrible that I couldn't keep watching it. Between the cheezy 80s synthaziser soundtrack and the painfully slow pace (long, slow shots of Nazis running I just couldn't take it anymore.

But would still like to know what the hell was going on.

Malus
Nov 17, 2006

The dicks ain't biting

ClydeUmney posted:

Well, poo poo. I wish I didn't know that. I've always wanted to see that.

EDIT: Not blaming you, just saying I wish I didn't know how the whole thing played out.

Sorry dude, I was just trying to give lots of detail. I didn't even think about this sort of thing happening.

ThreeHeadedMonster
Mar 21, 2007

PANIC!!!!!

PvtJoker posted:

I think I saw Crispin Glover in a bit part as one of the Nazis.


I've been looking, and there's no movie he was ever in that was a WWII-era movie. I can't find anything about the movie though.

Dancing Potato
May 21, 2007

PvtJoker posted:

Was on HBO Signature tonight.

Takes place in WWII - some German is guarding some kind of ruin with a silver cross that starts glowing, causing him to realize its real silver. So he calls his buddy over and they pry it off with their knives, revealing a secret passage. His buddy lowers him down where he finds another silver cross, touches it, and opens into a massive cavern which shoots a fireball at him.

Meanwhile, the Nazis murder a bunch of villagers and some guy with silver flashing eyes gets off a boat and onto a motorcycle with a package nobody can touch.

I think I saw Crispin Glover in a bit part as one of the Nazis.

It was so horrible that I couldn't keep watching it. Between the cheezy 80s synthaziser soundtrack and the painfully slow pace (long, slow shots of Nazis running I just couldn't take it anymore.

But would still like to know what the hell was going on.

This sounds like it could be The Keep, directed by none other than Michael Mann. I haven't seen it, though, and it's not available on DVD.

ClydeUmney
May 13, 2004

One can hardly ignore the Taoist implications of "Fuck it, Dude. Let's go bowling."

Dancing Potato posted:

This sounds like it could be The Keep, directed by none other than Michael Mann. I haven't seen it, though, and it's not available on DVD.

I thought that too, but this hasn't been on HBO Signature--I've always wanted to see this, just because the author of the book (F. Paul Wilson) calls it one of the worst movies he's ever seen. He apparently has even recorded a Rifftrax-style commentary track for it.

Are you sure this was on HBO Signature? I think you can browse the schedule for the month on HBO.com--if you remember when you saw it, you might be able to figure it out.

EDIT: The more I read that, the more sure I am you're right it's The Keep. But it definitely wasn't on HBO Signature. Right movie, though.

mastur
Mar 26, 2007

queefing the ice beard.
Yay, Frog Dreaming, thank you.

Here is another:

it was like a robocop knockoff, some guy gets turned into a cyborg and if someone touches him he goes berserk and kills people. somehow he gets that fixed and kicks rear end and then at the end his wife and kid are looking at him at some museum for some reason

And here is one of my own:

This family moves into this castle, or large mansion or something, and living there is a monster. I think he looked like a gargoyle or pretended to look like a gargoyle, but i distinctly remember him being a naked man. The father has to cut his hand for some reason with a knife to draw his own blood. Toward the end, the monster attacks the father, and I think gets thrown over the walls of the castle.

edit: Nevermind, this is Castle Freak.

Reformed Pissboy
Nov 6, 2003

edit: Answered by ZenMaster, thanks! Banlieue 13

This movie suddenly popped into my head one morning last week and I've been going crazy trying to remember where I remember seeing it. I saw it years ago (downloaded it, presumably because I heard it was good). It was an action/drama-oriented movie, which I don't normally watch. I don't recall any actors, just events and settings.

The movie begins (I think) with the police busting an illegal gambling venue in a large, dimly-lit basement behind a convenience store front. The hero/main cop (possibly undercover) goes into the gambling area and proceeds to kick the asses of a bunch of bad guys while jumping across card tables and stuff.

I'm not actually entirely sure, but I believe this is from the same movie. There's a possibility I'm thinking of something else here, though. The masterminds of the gambling venue are holed up in a smallish room above the store with a bunch of monitors displaying security camera footage, and they watch the cops pour in. They're behind a bulletproof door, which is riddled with bullets as police come up to it and they fire back (?). I think there might be some sort of setup in the middle of the room that allows them to escape through a hatch in the floor (or maybe ceiling). They also go through some tense moments before the police show up at the door wondering if anyone among them is a plant and tipped off the cops or something.

Finally, I recall a scene outside the convenience store, where there are police all over the place and people are being led away. The main hero dude that kicked rear end in the basement is sitting in the car, possibly with his partner. It's night time and the street is wet. I don't know why I remember this; it seems to me that something sudden happens not long after, like a car blows up or something. But I really don't remember.

I hope this is enough detail, it's all I can remember (and some of it is conjecture, especially in the 2nd paragraph... so try not to focus on that one so much as the others). Hopefully I'm remembering correctly and it's all from one movie, not from several different ones. Again, I don't watch many action movies, so this is likely either a popular or critically-acclaimed movie. I seem to recall it's from the mid/late 90s, it's not extremely recent. My first thoughts were that it was either Heat or Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, since those are kind of similar in style to what I remember. Also, they are action-ish movies that I saw a long time ago and don't remember much of. However, after looking at plot summaries online, I don't think either of those movies are it.

Any help is greatly appreciated, this is driving me crazy!

Reformed Pissboy fucked around with this message at 22:16 on Jul 18, 2007

PvtJoker
Jan 3, 2005

Dancing Potato posted:

This sounds like it could be The Keep, directed by none other than Michael Mann. I haven't seen it, though, and it's not available on DVD.

ClydeUmney posted:

EDIT: The more I read that, the more sure I am you're right it's The Keep. But it definitely wasn't on HBO Signature. Right movie, though.

Yep, it was The Keep. There’s a good reason its not out on DVD. This movie is horrible beyond words. Its like you’re watching a parody of a Michael Mann movie… or what Michael Mann would look like if done by first year film students.

It most definitely was on HBO Signature, but I’m on the Asia feed. Consider yourselves lucky that it isn’t on real person HBO Signature.

Encryptic
May 3, 2007

Vince Wolfjaw posted:

:words:

Definitely doesn't sound like either Heat or Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. I'm drawing a blank as to what it could be, though.

ZenMaster
Jan 24, 2006

I Saved PC Gaming

Encryptic posted:

Definitely doesn't sound like either Heat or Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. I'm drawing a blank as to what it could be, though.

Banlieue 13, (aka Section B13) that's got to be it.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0414852/

That entire scene you described is in that film.


\/\/\/\/ No problem!

ZenMaster fucked around with this message at 03:49 on Jul 19, 2007

Reformed Pissboy
Nov 6, 2003

ZenMaster posted:

Banlieue 13, (aka Section B13) that's got to be it.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0414852/

That entire scene you described is in that film.

This is it, thank you so much!

redbone
Jun 9, 2003
Karma is justice without the satisfaction.
I saw this movie on tv about 15 years ago.
It was about a family that lived in the woods or a rainforest.
Their house/cabin was adjacent to some water mass I think.
The family had a boy and one day he was wandering in the woods and got taken by an indigenous tribe.
Later in the movie the family found the boy, he was full grown and identified himself as a member of this tribe.

What the hell movie is this?

FitFortDanga
Nov 19, 2004

Nice try, asshole

redbone posted:

I saw this movie on tv about 15 years ago.
It was about a family that lived in the woods or a rainforest.
Their house/cabin was adjacent to some water mass I think.
The family had a boy and one day he was wandering in the woods and got taken by an indigenous tribe.
Later in the movie the family found the boy, he was full grown and identified himself as a member of this tribe.

What the hell movie is this?

The Emerald Forest

ZenMaster
Jan 24, 2006

I Saved PC Gaming

Since I answered one, I'll toss one in.

This is old, probably shown on PBS or Nick, but it was a show/movie (not sure which) about a group of boys who go to a music conservatory, and meet the ghosts of dead great composers like Mozart/Bach, etc. The ghosts might teach them about music, not sure.

They definitely meet famous ghosts, and it's some old English academy for boys. This has been driving me mad for about 10 years.

antihero
Oct 11, 2004

Just in case you are trying to remember descriptions of this movie to post here. I'm going to save you the trouble: http://youtube.com/watch?v=TFYocToDwnM

Took me forever to remember what this was called.

Buster Friendly
Mar 27, 2006
Fallout will be especially pronounced toward noon
This has been gnawing at the back of my mind for years now. It's a movie I saw at least 10 years ago on TV, probably TNT or TBS. I think it may have had Chevy Chase although I'm a little fuzzy on it.

Anyways, I only remember part of it. This scene takes place in a junkyard I think with this bizarre mutant hillbilly type family that has a sort of patriarch figure who hangs out in this quasi-courtroom type place. In the scene he's auditioning bands to play at his son or daughter's wedding (I forget which). Whenever a band would have a lovely audition he would press a button or something and they would fly down a trap door or conveyer belt and get incinerated and chopped up.

I also remember these twin giant piggish looking things (think "hey you guys" from the goonies) who would hang out with this female cop.

I think the movie may have revolved around some guy trying to rescue his girlfriend from this weird rear end family.

This poo poo terrified and fascinated me when I first saw it. If anyone knows what movie this is please let me know. It's something I think about a lot.

ClydeUmney
May 13, 2004

One can hardly ignore the Taoist implications of "Fuck it, Dude. Let's go bowling."

Buster Friendly posted:

This has been gnawing at the back of my mind for years now. It's a movie I saw at least 10 years ago on TV, probably TNT or TBS. I think it may have had Chevy Chase although I'm a little fuzzy on it.

Anyways, I only remember part of it. This scene takes place in a junkyard I think with this bizarre mutant hillbilly type family that has a sort of patriarch figure who hangs out in this quasi-courtroom type place. In the scene he's auditioning bands to play at his son or daughter's wedding (I forget which). Whenever a band would have a lovely audition he would press a button or something and they would fly down a trap door or conveyer belt and get incinerated and chopped up.

I also remember these twin giant piggish looking things (think "hey you guys" from the goonies) who would hang out with this female cop.

I think the movie may have revolved around some guy trying to rescue his girlfriend from this weird rear end family.

This poo poo terrified and fascinated me when I first saw it. If anyone knows what movie this is please let me know. It's something I think about a lot.

Sounds like Nothing But Trouble, I think.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102558/

Thoreau Like A Girl
Nov 20, 2006

ClydeUmney posted:

Sounds like Nothing But Trouble, I think.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102558/

i concur. that movie rubbed me the wrong way so many times as a child.

the one band was none other than Digital Underground =X man, i miss the early 90s.

Encryptic
May 3, 2007

ClydeUmney posted:

Sounds like Nothing But Trouble, I think.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102558/

Thirding this.

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Buster Friendly
Mar 27, 2006
Fallout will be especially pronounced toward noon

ClydeUmney posted:

Sounds like Nothing But Trouble, I think.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102558/

Thanks! I must watch this again.

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