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vrao81
Nov 16, 2004
^drat that looks right dude! Thank you very much! I have been wondering about that for a long time! :)

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bagrada
Aug 4, 2007

The Demogorgon is tired of your silly human bickering!

I can't remember if this was a movie or an episode of a twilight zone or outer limits type show. Some guy is driving and comes to a small town with a lighthouse. No one wants to help the guy because at night the lighthouse shines on someone's window, marking them for death or worse. I think there was a doctor who tries helping the guy and gets marked by the lighthouse because of it. I don't remember anything else. I saw it on tv in the late 80s or early 90s.

I was reminded of it by an episode of the anime Melody of Oblivion with a similar evil lighthouse theme.

IGotDConch
May 16, 2006

Welcome to the Free City of Newark

bagrada posted:

I can't remember if this was a movie or an episode of a twilight zone or outer limits type show. Some guy is driving and comes to a small town with a lighthouse. No one wants to help the guy because at night the lighthouse shines on someone's window, marking them for death or worse. I think there was a doctor who tries helping the guy and gets marked by the lighthouse because of it. I don't remember anything else. I saw it on tv in the late 80s or early 90s.

I was reminded of it by an episode of the anime Melody of Oblivion with a similar evil lighthouse theme.

I'm positive that was an episode of the 80's "Twilight Zone."


fake edit: Here ya go http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Beacon_%28The_Twilight_Zone%29

Behonkiss
Feb 10, 2005
My friend has 2 movies he watched as a kid that he cannot find (they may have been TV episodes).

The first is about a kid who finds out that aliens have built an underground base in his backyard, and sometimes pop out through a hole. They look kind of like Kuato from Total Recall and make weird noises instead of speaking. His parents don't believe him, but the FBI somehow finds out and shows up at the same times he goes into the base and narrowly escapes. They then blow the base up with a missile.

The second has a guy buying a necklace from a street vendor, who warns him that, "You can't handle this." The necklace makes him start to spontaneously and uncontrollably shapeshift into various people at certain times. At one point, he goes to his girlfriend's/wife's place while turned into an old lady. She punches him in the face, and his head disintegrates and the stump spurts yellow goo.

Do either of these exist?

Action Jacktion
Jun 3, 2003

Behonkiss posted:

The first is about a kid who finds out that aliens have built an underground base in his backyard, and sometimes pop out through a hole. They look kind of like Kuato from Total Recall and make weird noises instead of speaking. His parents don't believe him, but the FBI somehow finds out and shows up at the same times he goes into the base and narrowly escapes. They then blow the base up with a missile.
That's most likely "Identify a Movie" thread regular Invaders from Mars.

bagrada
Aug 4, 2007

The Demogorgon is tired of your silly human bickering!

IGotDConch posted:

I'm positive that was an episode of the 80's "Twilight Zone."


fake edit: Here ya go http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Beacon_%28The_Twilight_Zone%29

Thats it, thanks! My google-fu failed me, and when I looked over the lists of twilight zone and outer limit episodes I must have missed that one.

jeff8472
Dec 28, 2000

He died from watch-in-ass disease
Late 1970s to early 1980s Sci-Fi movie. The main bad guy looks like Skeletor, but its not Masters of the Universe. I think it had sort of a desert-like setting.

Pweller
Jan 25, 2006

Whatever whateva.

jeff8472 posted:

Late 1970s to early 1980s Sci-Fi movie. The main bad guy looks like Skeletor, but its not Masters of the Universe. I think it had sort of a desert-like setting.

Maybe Dune (haven't seen it)

Willow (1988)


Captain America (1990)

Ape Agitator
Feb 19, 2004

Soylent Green is Monkeys
College Slice

jeff8472 posted:

Late 1970s to early 1980s Sci-Fi movie. The main bad guy looks like Skeletor, but its not Masters of the Universe. I think it had sort of a desert-like setting.

No idea why, but desert and skeleton like for some reason suggested Spacehunter to me. Any chance he looks like this guy?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Nw8-SpCXWbw

jeff8472
Dec 28, 2000

He died from watch-in-ass disease

Ape Agitator posted:

No idea why, but desert and skeleton like for some reason suggested Spacehunter to me. Any chance he looks like this guy?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Nw8-SpCXWbw

Thats it! Thank you

Hollow Gaunt
Aug 7, 2007

Alright, my brothers and I have been trying to identify a movie we saw years ago, probably in 1995. Its science fiction, takes place in a ruined city (maybe post apocalyptic Earth), its main protagonists are a group of younger adults that wear space suits/armor. Each one of the protagonists (there's probably four or five of them) have the cliche'd unique ability that comes along with their suit of armor(one that we can remember is a stereotypical big guy, has a large suit of armor that has a gun on one arm). We're not sure exactly, but we think a few of them had rocket packs on.

There's an over-all bag guy, but you mainly see his right-hand bird-bot thing. The bird-bot thing is metal and shiny, with glowing red eyes that (we think) can shoot lasers. Plus, he's got some sweet wings and can fly (if anyone remembers the cartoons Gargoyles, he looks like a robot one of them).

It was probably a direct to VHS movie, and would be in the ratings range of G to PG. There might be two or three of them in the series, but the third might have been canceled. Release dates were probably between 1990 and 1995.

At the moment, that's all we can think of. We've been scouring the internet for anything, but nothing has yielded results. So now I turn to you, my fellow goons. Please put this mystery to rest.

Skywarps Hat
Sep 6, 2007
Skywarp has a nice hat.


Arcathan posted:

Alright, my brothers and I have been trying to identify a movie we saw years ago, probably in 1995. Its science fiction, takes place in a ruined city (maybe post apocalyptic Earth), its main protagonists are a group of younger adults that wear space suits/armor. Each one of the protagonists (there's probably four or five of them) have the cliche'd unique ability that comes along with their suit of armor(one that we can remember is a stereotypical big guy, has a large suit of armor that has a gun on one arm). We're not sure exactly, but we think a few of them had rocket packs on.

There's an over-all bag guy, but you mainly see his right-hand bird-bot thing. The bird-bot thing is metal and shiny, with glowing red eyes that (we think) can shoot lasers. Plus, he's got some sweet wings and can fly (if anyone remembers the cartoons Gargoyles, he looks like a robot one of them).

It was probably a direct to VHS movie, and would be in the ratings range of G to PG. There might be two or three of them in the series, but the third might have been canceled. Release dates were probably between 1990 and 1995.

At the moment, that's all we can think of. We've been scouring the internet for anything, but nothing has yielded results. So now I turn to you, my fellow goons. Please put this mystery to rest.

Was it Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future?

http://www.captainpower.com/

Hollow Gaunt
Aug 7, 2007

Skywarps Hat posted:

Was it Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future?

http://www.captainpower.com/

Oh no freaking way! We've been looking for this forever, since March actually. I can't believe that in all our searches that we never came across this. Of course, some of our information was skewered.

Thanks so freaking much!

Bast Relief
Feb 21, 2006

by exmarx
There is this movie where a man falls in love with a ghost, but when he has sex with her, she turns into a nasty corpse. The good news is, somehow his wife who he doesn't get a long with changes places with the lady ghost and gets it on with the ghosts husband. Happy ending for all. As torrid as it sounds, I think it was supposed to be a family friendly happy movie. Then again, my parents let me watch weird things. I also think this part of the movie was only a small part of the rest of the story which I can't remember. If anyone can remember the rest of the movie, please let me know. I'm guessing the movie was made in the 80s to early 90s.

Also, I'm trying to remember an animated flick with huge telepathically talking snails. What the hell was it even about? It still haunts my childhood memories.

einTier
Sep 25, 2003

Charming, friendly, and possessed by demons.
Approach with caution.

Anne Frank posted:

I posted this earlier but I have a couple revisions that might help.

Probably late 80's/early 90's sci-fi thriller where the crew of a space station is mysteriously dying off. The twist ending is that they never left earth and it was just an experiment in an underground bunker. Nobody stopped them from killing each other because all the technicians are dead, and the entire world has been destroyed by nuclear war. I think that the computer was killing them off, and it was only at the end that they started being suspicious of one another. It ends with a man and a woman standing together outdoors and you can see that the city has been destroyed by a nuclear apocalypse.

I'm pretty sure that we rented this from a video store but I guess it could have been on television. I'm going to start checking the plot descriptions of episodes from the Outer Limits because this is really bothering me that I can't figure this out.
This sounds a lot like I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream, but I don't know of any film adaptation of it.

Ape Agitator
Feb 19, 2004

Soylent Green is Monkeys
College Slice

jidohanbaiki posted:

There is this movie where a man falls in love with a ghost, but when he has sex with her, she turns into a nasty corpse. The good news is, somehow his wife who he doesn't get a long with changes places with the lady ghost and gets it on with the ghosts husband. Happy ending for all. As torrid as it sounds, I think it was supposed to be a family friendly happy movie. Then again, my parents let me watch weird things. I also think this part of the movie was only a small part of the rest of the story which I can't remember. If anyone can remember the rest of the movie, please let me know. I'm guessing the movie was made in the 80s to early 90s.

Could be High Spirits.
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0095304/

Bast Relief
Feb 21, 2006

by exmarx

Ape Agitator posted:

Could be High Spirits.
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0095304/

Yup! That's it! Thanks.
Too bad it looks like it's pretty bad. When I was little I thought it was awesome.

FitFortDanga
Nov 19, 2004

Nice try, asshole

jidohanbaiki posted:

Also, I'm trying to remember an animated flick with huge telepathically talking snails. What the hell was it even about? It still haunts my childhood memories.

Laloux's Les Escargots?

ICA
Nov 23, 2007

by Y Kant Ozma Boo
Can someone clue me in here; I'm looking for the title of a movie released (in the UK at least) in 2007. I don't think it was a huge film. It was about WW1 or WW2 and title is something like "Letters From..." or "Greetings From..."?

FitFortDanga
Nov 19, 2004

Nice try, asshole

ICA posted:

Can someone clue me in here; I'm looking for the title of a movie released (in the UK at least) in 2007. I don't think it was a huge film. It was about WW1 or WW2 and title is something like "Letters From..." or "Greetings From..."?

Letters From Iwo Jima?

Sponrad
Apr 11, 2004

by T. Finn
I think the title is Legend of something.

It's a movie where a story is being told by a man as he cuts up fish to sell. The story is about a "Silky" (a seal that can turn into a woman) that a man falls in love with. The man takes the Silkys skin while she is a woman so that she is stuck in woman form forever. Forever until she finds the skin in the attic and swims away.

There are also two children in the movie, a sister and a brother. I think they were referred to as darkies or something. The boy had a cradle/boat thing that he puttered around the ocean in.

Really bugging me, its a terrible movie but I need to know.

edit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Secret_of_Roan_Inish. It has 100% on rottentomatoes and it's been atleast 10 years since I saw it so maybe it actually is good and I just didnt know it at the time.

Sponrad fucked around with this message at 08:54 on Dec 18, 2007

Peter Venkman
May 20, 2007

by Tiny Fistpump
I'm looking for the name of a Kung-Fu movie I saw on the USA network some fifteen years ago.

The plot (or what I remember of it--I was fourteen at the time) concerns a group of ninja bandits who take the roles of the five elements (air, water, fire, earth, and gold(?) and proceed to slaughter a kung-fu dojo. The sole survivor must learn the ways of the ninja to defeat the elements. One ridiculous scene has the avenging kung-fu ninja and a bunch of compatriots surfing on the water to defeat one of the elements. I think he dies at the end.

Any assistance would be appreciated.

cptInsane0
Apr 11, 2007

...and a clown with no head

Peter Venkman posted:

I'm looking for the name of a Kung-Fu movie I saw on the USA network some fifteen years ago.

The plot (or what I remember of it--I was fourteen at the time) concerns a group of ninja bandits who take the roles of the five elements (air, water, fire, earth, and gold(?) and proceed to slaughter a kung-fu dojo. The sole survivor must learn the ways of the ninja to defeat the elements. One ridiculous scene has the avenging kung-fu ninja and a bunch of compatriots surfing on the water to defeat one of the elements. I think he dies at the end.

Any assistance would be appreciated.

Did it have Christopher Lambert in it? And did he kill the bad guy by cutting through a support beam with the sword that they spent months making?

Peter Venkman
May 20, 2007

by Tiny Fistpump

cptInsane0 posted:

Did it have Christopher Lambert in it? And did he kill the bad guy by cutting through a support beam with the sword that they spent months making?

Unfortunately, no. It was an all asian production--looked '70s, and really, really cheap.

Crazy Mike
Sep 16, 2005

Now with 25% more kimchee.
A movie I really want to see again.
Genre: American martial arts
Seen on: premium movie channel circa mid 90's

This is a movie type that needs to be made much more often. Some nerd in high school or college learns martial arts from an asian master and beats up the school bully. In the vein of The Karate Kid, Sidekicks, and Showdown, we have this masterpiece. Such notable features include:

A professor is teaching a class on Neanderthal man. The nerd walks in carrying his backpack in such a way that he looks just like the illustration of the Neanderthal. The class laughs at him.
The nerd learning acupuncture/accupressure from the master.
The nerd tries to mack on a girl in a hot tub with this accupuncture/accupressure skills.

I think there was another nerd and another girl in this movie because then they were in the hot tub talking about the big conflict fight at the end where the girl was worried that he would get beat up but the guy said not to worry because the first nerd challanged the bully to fight the traditional way with hands wrapped in broken glass, and the girl was freaking out because the bully would totally accept that challange, so they run out of the hot tub to try and stop the fight.

I'm pretty sure we get our standard fight with broken glass hands and that wraps it up, but I really want to know what the hell this movie is, and where I can get a copy of it.

ICA
Nov 23, 2007

by Y Kant Ozma Boo

FitFortDanga posted:

Letters From Iwo Jima?

Great, you've made my friend very happy.

Twitch
Apr 15, 2003

by Fluffdaddy
I'm trying to remember the name of a hilariously terrible martial arts movie I rented a few years ago. It was most likely from the 80s, but it was really low budget, so I can't be sure exactly.

Here's what I do remember about the movie:
-I'm pretty sure it was made in Hong Kong, although I'm not 100% sure of this. It was definitely foreign and had a lot of Asians in it.
-The protagonist is a white guy who looked like he's probably Armenian or at least ethnically central Asian. He's a ninja.
-His partner (also a ninja) is a black guy, who gets killed by the evil ninjas early in the movie.
-I think there was some sort of a plot about an evil corporation, possibly kicking people out of their homes, I believe this corporation was run by ninjas.
-A lot of the movie also focused on a cop, and most of the police parts of the movie didn't look like they fit in very well (almost like it was two movies spliced together).
-People in the movie would change into ninja costumes via a really cheap looking smoke explosion and a crappy splice.
-Here's the thing about the movie I definitely remember: the police in the movie never wear anything resembling police uniforms, or drive police cars (I'm guessing there was a legal reason behind this wherever it was shot, or it may have just had that little budget).

It possibly had ninja somewhere in the title, but I'm not totally sure.

I used to rent movies based on how many ninjas were on the cover (which always resulted in entertainment), and this was probably the funniest one I saw, if you like campy low-budget action movies.

Ape Agitator
Feb 19, 2004

Soylent Green is Monkeys
College Slice

Twitch posted:

I'm trying to remember the name of a hilariously terrible martial arts movie I rented a few years ago. It was most likely from the 80s, but it was really low budget, so I can't be sure exactly.

Almost certainly American Ninja (or possibly one of its sequels).
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Xy8AlMh31cM&feature=related
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0088708/

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

Ok, two films (might be one, but I remember two scenes, totally unrelated).

One had whoopi goldberg in a dentist's chair, and the (male) dentist was leaning in to work on her mouth, and his crotch ended up being pushed against her hand. She seemed to enjoy it, I don't think he noticed, oddly enough.


Another scene/movie, some guy is on the phone, talking about something obviously intense, as he seems REALLY upset. Right in the middle of his conversation, an operator comes online and asks him to put another 25 cents in (or another amount) to the phone to continue his conversation. The guy loses it, screaming "WHAT? THIS IS NOT A PAY PHONE!!!"

girlvirus
Jul 3, 2007

Peter Venkman posted:

I'm looking for the name of a Kung-Fu movie I saw on the USA network some fifteen years ago.

The plot (or what I remember of it--I was fourteen at the time) concerns a group of ninja bandits who take the roles of the five elements (air, water, fire, earth, and gold(?) and proceed to slaughter a kung-fu dojo. The sole survivor must learn the ways of the ninja to defeat the elements. One ridiculous scene has the avenging kung-fu ninja and a bunch of compatriots surfing on the water to defeat one of the elements. I think he dies at the end.

Any assistance would be appreciated.

Chinese Super Ninjas
http://www.dvdcult.com/rev_SuperNinjas.htm

Ape Agitator
Feb 19, 2004

Soylent Green is Monkeys
College Slice

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

Another scene/movie, some guy is on the phone, talking about something obviously intense, as he seems REALLY upset. Right in the middle of his conversation, an operator comes online and asks him to put another 25 cents in (or another amount) to the phone to continue his conversation. The guy loses it, screaming "WHAT? THIS IS NOT A PAY PHONE!!!"

The Chevy Chase movie Funny Farm had a gag where their isolated farm house's phone connection was flagged as a public phone so he had to try and trick them into thinking he deposited coins. However, the nature of the scene didn't lead to the operater coming in during the middle of a coversation, so perhaps not.

Twitch
Apr 15, 2003

by Fluffdaddy

Ape Agitator posted:

Almost certainly American Ninja (or possibly one of its sequels).
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Xy8AlMh31cM&feature=related
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0088708/

Thanks for the help, but it's definitely not American Ninja. When I say low-budget, I don't mean American B-movie, I mean sub-Troma budget. And I'm almost positive it was shot in another language an dubbed, or so cheap that the dialogue was all added in with ADR. There is a chance it was just a cheap American movie, but American Ninja is high enough quality it still is (or at least was) shown regularly on TV. It very well could have been a straight to video knockoff of American Ninja, though.

And I don't think Michael Dudikoff ever had a ridiculous Borat-esque mustache.

Twitch fucked around with this message at 19:32 on Dec 19, 2007

Peter Venkman
May 20, 2007

by Tiny Fistpump

girlvirus posted:

Chinese Super Ninjas
http://www.dvdcult.com/rev_SuperNinjas.htm

Hoo-lee poo poo...that's it! Thank you!

Sizzlechest
May 7, 2007

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

One had whoopi goldberg in a dentist's chair, and the (male) dentist was leaning in to work on her mouth, and his crotch ended up being pushed against her hand. She seemed to enjoy it, I don't think he noticed, oddly enough.

She did not enjoy it and I think she grabs the guy by the balls. I'm pretty sure it's Burglar, but it might be Jumpin' Jack Flash. They came out within a year of each other and I can't remember which lovely movie she did that in.

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

Sizzlechest posted:

She did not enjoy it and I think she grabs the guy by the balls. I'm pretty sure it's Burglar, but it might be Jumpin' Jack Flash. They came out within a year of each other and I can't remember which lovely movie she did that in.

Ah thanks! Not that I really want to see it again, just curious.

Now, for the phone scene... anyone? I don't think it was Chevy Chase.

Internet Gentleman
Mar 17, 2006

I'm so happy to be here.

Twitch posted:

-A lot of the movie also focused on a cop, and most of the police parts of the movie didn't look like they fit in very well (almost like it was two movies spliced together).
Low-budget sub-Troma budget. So cheap that the dialogue was all added in with ADR.
And I don't think Michael Dudikoff ever had a ridiculous Borat-esque mustache.

Sounds like a Richard Harrison Ninja film.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0365835/

In the 80's he made several Ninja films with Godfrey Ho, probably the worst director in all of Asia. Godfrey would film an actor for one movie, then take all the unused footage of the actor and splice it into any other unfinished movies he had. He paid you for 1 film and you starred in 8.

Sorry I can't narrow it down any more, but the reusing of the footage makes it hard to tell the films apart.

Here's a trailer for Ninja Dragon with Richards mustache in all its action-packed glory.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehPt6zqqyrM

Vulpes
Nov 13, 2002

Well, shit.
This is a fairly recent movie, near the start there is a scene with a rich sports personality driving/speeding while drunk or high or something, and he gets pulled over and makes a big scene which gets on TV. I don't think the movie isn't about him though, just the start.

Vulpes fucked around with this message at 11:22 on Dec 21, 2007

Skywarps Hat
Sep 6, 2007
Skywarp has a nice hat.


Vulpes posted:

This is a fairly recent movie, near the start there is a scene with a rich sports personality driving/speeding while drunk or high or something, and he gets pulled over and makes a big scene which gets on TV. I don't think the movie isn't about him though, just the start.

The Longest Yard , perhaps?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0398165/

Vulpes
Nov 13, 2002

Well, shit.

Skywarps Hat posted:

The Longest Yard , perhaps?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0398165/

Yes, that was it, thanks!

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Twitch
Apr 15, 2003

by Fluffdaddy

Internet Gentleman posted:

Sounds like a Richard Harrison Ninja film.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0365835/

In the 80's he made several Ninja films with Godfrey Ho, probably the worst director in all of Asia. Godfrey would film an actor for one movie, then take all the unused footage of the actor and splice it into any other unfinished movies he had. He paid you for 1 film and you starred in 8.

Sorry I can't narrow it down any more, but the reusing of the footage makes it hard to tell the films apart.

Here's a trailer for Ninja Dragon with Richards mustache in all its action-packed glory.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehPt6zqqyrM

I can't remember if it was Ninja Dragon or not, but I can say with almost 100% certainty that it was a Richard Harrison ninja movie, thanks!

I didn't recognize any of the actors (although some of that could be just because of not remembering them), but the style of fighting, the look of the ninja suits, and the teleportation/transforming "effects" are definitely the same as the movie I saw.

edit: The name "Ninja Master Gordon" rings a bell, too.

Twitch fucked around with this message at 03:35 on Dec 22, 2007

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