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There were a number of people at my wedding that I barely knew, didn't like, or had never met. But according to my wedding planner, I didn't have to greet everybody who came to the reception. Receiving lines are less and less common these days, and not everybody needs to be greeted. My husband and I managed to say hi to everybody. We went table to table during dinner. Since everybody was busy chowing down, we got to say hi briefly and then we swiftly moved on to the next table. We greeted over 200 people and still had time to eat dinner and enjoy ourselves.
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Jul 23, 2008 21:41
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Had anyone had to have ceremonies/receptions in multiple places? My fiancee and I (I proposed last week, at the restaurant where we met, perfect for us) are not from around here, my friends/family are all in Toronto, her friends and family are mostly scattered in DC, SanFran and the Philippines. We don't really want a huge wedding with the hotel reception etc but at the same time we want to have a ceremony and a reception with all our friends. So far we're thinking of having three ceremonies, 1 civil here in town, 1 catholic ceremony in Toronto and 1 catholic ceremony in the Philippines. Has anyone had to deal with a situation like this? I'm not too keen on forcing my friends to fly here for the ceremony (family not really a big deal, dad's a pilot) and neither is my fiancee nor are we really interested in a destination wedding as it mostly just becomes family and I don't really want to force our families on going on vacation with us. Any thoughts? Has anyone had to deal with this, if so how did you handle it?
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Jul 23, 2008 22:14
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Optimus_Rhyme posted:Had anyone had to have ceremonies/receptions in multiple places? My fiancee and I (I proposed last week, at the restaurant where we met, perfect for us) are not from around here, my friends/family are all in Toronto, her friends and family are mostly scattered in DC, SanFran and the Philippines. My best friend did something like this. They had a ceremony and reception ins City 1, and then another reception in City 2 a month or so later. They didn't have another ceremony in City 2 though.
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Jul 23, 2008 22:25
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quepasa18 posted:My best friend did something like this. They had a ceremony and reception ins City 1, and then another reception in City 2 a month or so later. They didn't have another ceremony in City 2 though. The reason for the multiple ceremonies is because I'm a Canadian marrying an American, I want to make sure I get married in the US and Canada to make getting the various citizenships easier. And my fiancee has always dreamed of getting married in the Philippines in this specific church.
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Jul 23, 2008 22:28
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Gravitee posted:Well if your dad ends up paying for it, he might find out how much those extra 50 people are going to cost him and decide against it. Worse case scenario you end up shaking a few more hands and you have a few more gifts to show for it. Is your dad a 'money' person? Can you figure out how much all the extras will cost him?(per person, how many extra tables will you need, how many extra servers, table linens, place settings,etc..etc.)
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Jul 24, 2008 00:49
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Is there a guideline for how to allot the budget? We're having a small non-traditional wedding, probably with ceremony and reception at the same location, and a dessert + drinks (with limited bar) reception. Probably. I found a dress today that I love. But it is almost a quarter of our overall budget. Is that absolutely ridiculous? I'm considering just buying the dress on my own and keeping it separate from the budget that my parents are contributing, because my mom would have a fit over how much it costs.
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Jul 24, 2008 04:06
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zap actionsdower! posted:Is there a guideline for how to allot the budget? We're having a small non-traditional wedding, probably with ceremony and reception at the same location, and a dessert + drinks (with limited bar) reception. Probably. The fiance and I have a few things where we are using part of the wedding budget and part of our money to pay for (my suit, hotel/food for bachlor party). Something like that might make the costs not such a big shock to the system.
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Jul 24, 2008 04:12
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Optimus_Rhyme posted:Had anyone had to have ceremonies/receptions in multiple places? Planning the PA one is going to be a big hassle, but at least my mom's there to take care of all the stuff on the ground. It'll also probably help that, beyond the venue itself, I really couldn't give a poo poo about the details. So whatever she wants to do is fine, really (she eloped and so did my brother, so this is her only chance to do wedding stuff).
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Jul 24, 2008 10:48
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squirrellypoo posted:We're having two receptions, but we're still in the planning stages. I grew up in Pennsylvania but moved to the UK 6 years ago, and my fiance is English so the bulk of our guestlist is in the UK. We're planning on having our ceremony and reception at Bletchly Park (UK) and then having a smaller reception in Pennsylvania a week or so later, but we're having a hard time finding a venue that isn't completely soulless like the interior of a newbuild housing development. I'm actually surprised at the amount of people who are flying over, though - most of my relatives are coming to London and his parents really want to go to both (despite my warnings that PA is not like NYC or Florida, which is the only parts most Brits ever see). So make sure you ask if they want to come rather than assuming they'll want to go to the closest one... What part of PA? I'm planning my reception in PA (wedding in Vegas) so if you're area is close or closeish I could assist with a few lists and prices at least.
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Jul 24, 2008 14:13
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zap actionsdower! posted:Is there a guideline for how to allot the budget? We're having a small non-traditional wedding, probably with ceremony and reception at the same location, and a dessert + drinks (with limited bar) reception. Probably. I think this is one of those things that before tons of planning happens, you need to sit down with whoever is paying and find out what their expectations of the budget are. Some people are fine with as long as you stay in budget, whatever is spent on what doesn't matter. Others, not so much. I would sit down with them and work out an approximate based on some research of what to spend on what. If you want your dress budget to be high, show how you can afford everything else in the wedding, while still buying it. My dress was the single most expensive part of our wedding. Ridiculous right? I mean it still only cost 990$ but it was still the most expensive part(more than the food, the honeymoon, the rings, the venue, the officiant, the dj, the decor,etc..etc..) If you know your mom will freak, then yeah maybe just buy it seperately, but you never know. If she is presented with it in a logical way, she might change her mind. good luck! We had a pretty 'non-traditional' wedding too, and it was a loving blast. Just make sure it's about you guys, and expresses who you both are. And as the old ridiculous adage goes "don't sweat the small stuff" we had disaster upon disaster on our wedding day(FFS even the maid of honours house was partially destroyed) but hey, we got married, and we'll never forget it now.
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Jul 24, 2008 15:16
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ElanoreMcMantis posted:What part of PA? I'm planning my reception in PA (wedding in Vegas) so if you're area is close or closeish I could assist with a few lists and prices at least.  Four years was enough, thanks (or in the case of my fiance, 3 days was enough).There's one place in Lancaster my mom found that looks promising, but I need to run the photos past my fiance first and see if they're free (and how many hotel rooms are free) but we need to get a date sorted for the UK side of things before we can set a PA date. So hopefully that will happen in a few weeks. But if you've got any ideas I'm very happy to hear them because I'm not married to any of the ideas yet (pun intended).
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Jul 24, 2008 16:06
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squirrellypoo posted:
If you're looking at Lancaster check out the Historic Strasburg Inn as well as Mulberry Art Studios. I am a bit too far north to use either (too many elderly guests to travel), but I went to a wedding at HSI and it was really quite nice, and Mulberry seemed really cool and the lady I emailed with was very nice.
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Jul 24, 2008 16:16
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ElanoreMcMantis posted:If you're looking at Lancaster check out the Historic Strasburg Inn as well as Mulberry Art Studios. I am a bit too far north to use either (too many elderly guests to travel), but I went to a wedding at HSI and it was really quite nice, and Mulberry seemed really cool and the lady I emailed with was very nice.  It's hard to tell what the banquet hall is like without seeing it, and you'd think if they're that historic they'd be falling over themselves to show it off... It's nice that the MAS lets you bring your own caterer, though. hmm. thanks!
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Jul 24, 2008 16:42
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When do most people go & pick up their gown from the shop? My bridesmaids are going for their second fitting Monday, and while we're there I was going to schedule a time to pick up my gown...but I don't know how close to the wedding (Aug 16th) I should pick it up. I don't really have anywhere "out of the way" to store it. It's strapless (and heavy), and I haven't noticed any loops for hanging it up.
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Jul 24, 2008 21:44
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I got married on a Saturday, and picked my dress up the Thursday beforehand.
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Jul 24, 2008 21:57
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Since I kinda moonlight as a wedding photographer... I'll drop a few hint in dealing with affordable phtoographers. Craigslist is the best friend, and worst enemy for getting jobs. It seems like tons of people these days figure "hell! I paid almost a grand for my camera and lens! That makes me a photographer! Well, better put a craigslist ad up and start pulling in the cash!". Don't get me wrong, I see great photographers posting on there all the time, but I also see people who I would pay to stay far away from any wedding I going to be in. Ask to see a portfolio, even if it's just an online gallery. Is it all from one or two weddings? If so, cut off the conversation here. Don't get sweet talked by low price when the person has no experience. Developing a good eye, and working in enough weddings so you know how to "people wrangle" are both equally important. If they don't have this skill, either your photo time is going to be much longer than planned, or you aren't going to get the shots you need. Ask about the equipment they use. Do they have a light kit, or do they use an on camera flash? If you're really good with on camera, you can bounce and do amazing things, but if you're not sure about them up to that point, that would be another red-flag for me. Also, always always always ask for references... first AND last names! Helps eliminate the "I shot my brothers wedding" thing a bit more (although not always). If you get to meet, pay attention to the photographer. Any guy or gal worth their salt is probably going to have just as many questions for you as you will for them. Things like "indoor or outdoor", "how many guests" and "if outdoor, what time of day". Also, i have my clients do this, and I would suggest doing it yourself if you have the time, as it really eliminates a lot of stress at the time of the wedding... it makes sure I don't miss a photo that is a "must have" for them. They do a sheet, where everyone has a number. For example, Bride=1 Groom=2 Maid of Honor=3...... Next, I have them do this. Photo A - 1. Photo B - 2. Photo C - 1, 2.... and so on. This tells me that the photos i need are ones of just the bride, one of just the groom, one of the bride and groom, and so on. When I say (one of the bride, obviously, I know to take many shots of "just her", it's when you're doing group shots that this really helps) It really helps make sure your Uncle Paul is in the shot he should be in, and not off at the bar having a drink.
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Jul 24, 2008 22:36
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IdeoPhanthus posted:When do most people go & pick up their gown from the shop? I'm getting married Aug. 16 too. I'm going in for my last fitting on Aug. 2nd and they are going to keep it until the day before or morning of. They will steam it so it's all prettied up... I just have to keep it hung up off the floor with the train extended until I put it on.
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Jul 24, 2008 23:10
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Gravitee posted:I'm getting married Aug. 16 too. I'm going in for my last fitting on Aug. 2nd and they are going to keep it until the day before or morning of. They will steam it so it's all prettied up... I just have to keep it hung up off the floor with the train extended until I put it on. I got married a few weeks ago. I strongly recommend picking up your dress the day before, it will decrease the oh-my-god-what-if-thestore-is-closed-for-whatever-reason neuroses the night before. Get some sleep dammit - and eat breakfast. I had biscuits and gravy the day of my wedding. It was a good choice.
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Jul 25, 2008 00:48
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IdeoPhanthus posted:When do most people go & pick up their gown from the shop? We got married on a Saturday, I picked up my dress in the afternoon the day before. I would really suggest that if I were you. They'll also usually steam it for you,etc. It should have loops for hanging, but if it doesn't, keeping it laid down on a bed that you can close off to pets should work for a day or so. and I totally second the 'make sure you eat' notion. We ended up at the supermarket the morning of buying supplies to make chocolate banana waffles. Best wedding-related decision ever.
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Jul 25, 2008 00:50
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ellabella posted:We got married on a Saturday, I picked up my dress in the afternoon the day before. I would really suggest that if I were you. They'll also usually steam it for you,etc. Good advice, lol. We're going to get the whole wedding party together (really) early the morning of to set up the reception site; we're putting all the flower arrangements together the day before so there's less setup time the day of. Maybe after reception setup we'll go to a quick breakfast...then at 11am I have hair, and 1:30 is the ceremony. I wasn't sure if they steamed it or not. I just found out the guys have to pick up their tux's 2 days before, so I guess that solves the "when do I pick it up" issue for my dress. It's good to know most people pick it up around that time anyway. 
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Jul 25, 2008 23:11
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Luxowell posted:Since I kinda moonlight as a wedding photographer... I'll drop a few hint in dealing with affordable phtoographers. do a sheet, where everyone has a number... A, B, C...Z, 1, 2, 3, 99... This makes me extremely happy that we've got a photojournalist-style wedding photographer. We could care less if we get every possible permutation of all the 30 family members together for staged "Say Cheese" photos. Maybe we'll get 3, one of me & my wife, one of the immediate family, and one with the extended family. We tend to take horrible posed photographs, yet the pictures taken when everyone is just being themselves and don't know they're having their picture taken tend to turn out amazing. We'll still end up with pictures of just about everyone in the family and wedding party, and we don't have to set aside a whole goddamn hour in between the ceremony and the reception. That stuff just bores and annoys me at most weddings (whether or not I'm in the pictures).
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Jul 26, 2008 00:59
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Endor: Thats what we did and they turned out amazing. If you want to see some of ours, let me know. We basically told our photographers to have fun, take photos of our friends/family and to focus on laughter. I know some brides love posed photography, but it is sooooo not me, or anyone in my family. I can't even imagine. Also ideo: Remember if you don't have time to eat, you can almost always squeeze something in while you get your hair done! Even if it's just lots of fruit. Have someone peel you a couple oranges, carrot sticks,etc.. so you can nibble before you get your makeup done.
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Jul 26, 2008 01:07
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goatse guy fucked around with this message at 03:30 on Jan 21, 2013 |
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Jul 26, 2008 06:10
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goatse guy posted:My fiance and I have been engaged for almost two months and there's still no set date or any idea of what we want to do. We are having a very small wedding (in 12 days!) with only 11 of us in attendance. It is going to be at the Morton Arboretum outside of Chicago, and we are pretty excited. Anyway, I wanted to comment on the family thing. We have been having some family difficulties as well, although they are completely on my side not his. I can't really identify with managing a large wedding with family issues, only a small one, but I'll give my two cents. My family wanted to control a lot of things about the wedding, such as location and religion of the officiant, and whether or not we would get a prenup. At first, they were not happy about the wedding, so I felt like I would satiate them by giving in to a few things, and we did: we allowed my mother to throw a wedding shower, and agreed to the officiant of their religious preference (we are both agnostic). Soon I realized that they weren't even appreciating the concessions I was making, and were still unhappy with everything. It was like we were two inches closer to their ideals/preferences, but still failing to have the kind of wedding they wanted. Eventually I had to start saying no to things, such as their forcefulness about managing our finances. They were very very angry with me, told me I was being a bad daughter, etc. It's much easier said than done, but I realized it was setting a bad precedent for my marriage if I gave them so much control over our day. They have started calming down somewhat, and despite threats of not attending, will be attending and most likely having a decent attitude. I know weddings are often for the family, not for the bride and groom, but I think it still makes sense to make the day as much for you as you can. In terms of who to invite, some of it may depend on who you are expecting to pay - if one parent is paying and the other isn't, their preferences may weigh on you more. We are paying for nearly everything ourselves, so that gave us some more freedom to make our own choices. I think what was upsetting for me was that I often live as if my parents and I have a good relationship, but when it comes down to moments in which I disagree with them, they often get really forceful and use guilt to try to get me to comply. And often in my life I did, but now that I have a partner in mind (and I'm older), I want to choose what is right for me - if it matches their preference, great, and if not, it's my life to live. You have a right to tell your family that you want to invite both of them and would like for them to respect you and your day. That you would like for them to behave like adults, so that you can enjoy your time and know that they can enjoy theirs. If you want to figure out some kind of accommodation, you can, but just remember that accommodations will only alleviate the tension a little bit. You can't make the problems between your parents go away, but you can ask them to behave civilly. If they can't, perhaps you don't want to invite both to your wedding. But it's not your fault that you want a wedding where people behave respectfully, it is their responsibility that they can't handle that. You may choose to allow them to come and make drama, but then that is your choice too. I know it's a huge deal to exclude family, and I'm not advocating it, but I just think as an adult it is your right to ask people to respect you on a day that is meant to honor you and your life.
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Jul 26, 2008 16:12
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goatse guy posted:My fiance and I have been engaged for almost two months and there's still no set date or any idea of what we want to do. My mother and father haven't spoken in several years, but they're both agreed to put aside anything they have between them so I don't have to worry about having any fights at the wedding. Have you tried talking to your mom's family? I don't know why your mother's side hates him, and if it's not something as serious as say, abuse or something like that, then you shouldn't feel bad telling them to suck it up and let you have your father there. As testifeye said, if you are paying for the wedding, then you don't have to worry about them guilting you using money. Your father is part of your life, as your mother is. If they can't get over that long enough for you to have a happy wedding, then you should think about who deserves to be there more.
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Jul 26, 2008 21:12
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Just a question for consideration: Has anyone had a situation where your father or other male father-figure wasn't available or alive for your wedding? My father died when I was 16, but I like the symbolism behind being handed from your young, family life to your new, husband-oriented life. I consider asking my mother to do me the honor of walking me down the aisle, but I'm curious how others handled the scenario. My sister was married a few years ago, and she had our uncle walk her down the aisle, but I don't have the same relationship with him that she does. I'm not getting married any time soon, but this is something I ponder occasionally anyhow! Thoughts, comments?
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Jul 28, 2008 01:49
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Venyia posted:Just a question for consideration: My best friend's father is alive, but they haven't spoken in years. She had her mother give her away, like you are considering. It was just as symbolic & touching had it been her father.
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Jul 28, 2008 02:32
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I have a question about resizing. I'm looking at buying a vintage ring online that's a size 5, which I know is tiny. I think my girlfriend comes in at a 7 or 8, is that too much of a chore for a jeweler to resize? How much would it cost to do that?
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Jul 28, 2008 03:49
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That depends a lot on the ring. Usually it varies between "cheap" (because the cost of extra metal isn't much) to "more than the ring is worth" because the jeweller's labour is expensive. Hope for $20. Pray it isn't $200. Then ask a jeweller. (I've had both answers, but on different rings. One was too thin and would have required most of a new band which was very labour heavy.)
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Jul 28, 2008 05:08
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So I was one of the crazy people that went to the Filene's Basement running of the brides this weekend... and found a dress! I was worried that because I'm not a size 10 that all the samples are in, that I wouldn't be able to find anything, but there was actually a fairly good selection. We didn't camp out or dress up in matching t-shirts or anything crazy, and we showed up about 2 hours after the sale started. Be prepared to run around half-naked while people are around you non-chalantly shop for ties.
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Jul 28, 2008 16:51
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Cmdr. Chompernuts posted:I have a question about resizing. I'm looking at buying a vintage ring online that's a size 5, which I know is tiny. I think my girlfriend comes in at a 7 or 8, is that too much of a chore for a jeweler to resize? How much would it cost to do that? Not a big deal if the goldsmith knows what he's doing. Cost would depend on how labor intensive, I've seen a resizes done in less than 5 minutes before. I dont think you're going to break the bank.
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Jul 28, 2008 17:00
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CalamityKate posted:I was worried that because I'm not a size 10 that all the samples are in, that I wouldn't be able to find anything, but there was actually a fairly good selection. Are wedding dresses sized differently than regular clothes or is size 10 what the models for these dresses usually are? I had always thought size 0 was the smallest and I am assuming most samples or models would be dressed in that size.
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Jul 28, 2008 17:15
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Belldandy posted:Are wedding dresses sized differently than regular clothes or is size 10 what the models for these dresses usually are? I had always thought size 0 was the smallest and I am assuming most samples or models would be dressed in that size. I've heard that a size 10 wedding dress would probably correspond to a size 6 or 7 regular dress. I think that's about right, but it really varies depending on the woman's proportions. Regular women's clothes have been slowly "growing" in size over the past few decades, mostly for marketing reasons -- "Ooh I still fit into a size 5" (which is really an 8). Which results in stupid crap like 00 or -2 size dresses. Along with this, apparently wedding dress sizes have been staying more or less the same. (Disclaimer: I'm a guy who doesn't wear women's clothing, but this is just what I'm told.)Zero is the new 8 news article. Cmdr. Chompernuts posted:I have a question about resizing. I'm looking at buying a vintage ring online that's a size 5 Mind linking to the ring? As a general rule, if the bottom portion of the ring's band is smooth, it probably won't be a big deal to increase by a few sizes. If it has some kind of fancy design pattern it might be possible, but it may cost quite a bit to replicate the design for the portion of the ring the jeweler will have to add from scratch. Something like this?  Forget about it.
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Jul 28, 2008 17:28
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Belldandy posted:Are wedding dresses sized differently than regular clothes or is size 10 what the models for these dresses usually are? I had always thought size 0 was the smallest and I am assuming most samples or models would be dressed in that size. My wedding dress was two sizes bigger than what I normally wear. My best friend's wedding dress was 3 sizes bigger. I think that's fairly standard. You'd think it's be the opposite, so brides would feel good about being in a "smaller" size.
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Jul 28, 2008 17:29
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Venyia posted:Just a question for consideration: I was given away by both my mom and my dad, as was my sister. At least half of the weddings I worked did the same.
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Jul 28, 2008 17:36
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Venyia posted:Just a question for consideration: My cousin's wife's father died a couple of years before their wedding. Her mom walked her down the aisle. However, before proceeding down the aisle, she stopped and lit a candle for her father. It was a very meaningful, yet simple way to acknowledge her father's presence.
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Jul 28, 2008 17:43
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quepasa18 posted:My wedding dress was two sizes bigger than what I normally wear. My best friend's wedding dress was 3 sizes bigger. I think that's fairly standard. I think they keep them large, because it's easier for a tailor to size down the dress to fit who ever buys it. I remember my (really tiny) friend saying she tried all her dresses on with binder clips in the back, to get a realistic idea of what they would look like.
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Jul 28, 2008 20:19
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cranberry juice posted:I think they keep them large, because it's easier for a tailor to size down the dress to fit who ever buys it. I remember my (really tiny) friend saying she tried all her dresses on with binder clips in the back, to get a realistic idea of what they would look like. We're not talking about that though. What I'm saying is that I normally wear a size 12. My wedding dress was a size 18. So the way they label the sizes is different than "normal" sizes. That's what I mean when I say the sizes are bigger.
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Jul 28, 2008 20:24
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Getting married in five weeks. She has another dress fitting this Thursday. We are going to the jeweler to get our wedding bands also Thursday. We have a first dance song and took lessons to learn a dance to it but just today we are changing it and we now have to hurry up and get new lessons (different type of music) Invitation response cards are coming back, about 40 percent back so far. Brunch invitations and rehearsal dinner invitations have not even gone out yet. What else, let's see. Linens and lights and the food courses and hors d'oeuvres are picked out. Groomsman gifts I still have to do.
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Jul 28, 2008 21:02
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Belldandy posted:Are wedding dresses sized differently than regular clothes or is size 10 what the models for these dresses usually are? I had always thought size 0 was the smallest and I am assuming most samples or models would be dressed in that size. It's because wedding dresses have not been *vanity sized like every other type of womens' clothing. If I remember correctly from school (go textile majors!), wedding dresses have been sized the same way for decades. It's very similar to how patterns that you buy at a sewing shop are sized, if you normally wear a 6, you're probably a 10 in pattern sizing. This is also why when shopping for vintage clothing, you will have to go up a couple of sizes. Marilyn Monroe is a great example of this, because people always talk about how she was a size 10/12. Well that's great & all, but a 10 in the 50s is like a 6 or 8 today. *Vanity sizing is an industry technique to make women feel better about themselves, by providing what is really a size 12 dress with a size 6 tag. This is part of the reason why women's sizing varies so much between brands, because some manufacturers stray from the standard more than others.
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Jul 28, 2008 23:59
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