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GoreJess posted:So we got engaged last night (finally, people were starting to wonder if after 5.5 years together it would ever happen)! And now I have to figure out how to plan a wedding. Does anyone have any recommendations for planners? Or any books to just stay away from? I can tell you that theknot.com is so utterly useless as to be a loving joke. If you ever want to see a bunch of bridezillas try to out-oval office each other, that's site #1. I've actually liked the kvetch.indiebride forum, especially for local info. I also bought the real simple magazine guide to weddings and my mom sent me the Martha Stewart one (which has some cute stuff  )Congrats! Once you get a couple big things taken care of, stuff starts to fall into place.
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Aug 7, 2008 04:28
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GoreJess posted:So we got engaged last night (finally, people were starting to wonder if after 5.5 years together it would ever happen)! And now I have to figure out how to plan a wedding. Does anyone have any recommendations for planners? Or any books to just stay away from? Oh, yay!! I get to congratulate YOU now!  CalamityKate posted:I can tell you that theknot.com is so utterly useless as to be a loving joke. If you ever want to see a bunch of bridezillas try to out-oval office each other, that's site #1. I've actually liked the kvetch.indiebride forum, especially for local info. I also bought the real simple magazine guide to weddings and my mom sent me the Martha Stewart one (which has some cute stuff As much as the forums on the knot are obnoxious 99% of the time, I have to say I actually love the website itself. I've been using the budgeter and guest list things a ton, and it's a decent place to *start* looking for vendors (although, I've come to realize the lists aren't that big). They also have a ton of picture galleries to get ideas and articles on everything you could think of. You just have to take everything with a grain of salt, because it seems like it's just assumed you have an insane budget and you give a poo poo about what's in style and all that. The books of theirs I glanced at were pretty useful, too, but it looks like they just pump out as many things as they can, there's a lot of redundant stuff out there. Congrats again! Any idea when you're thinking of getting married?
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Aug 7, 2008 12:28
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WolfensteinBag posted:
Thank you! We're thinking either next October or March/April of 2010 (although I really don't want to wait that long). I just really don't want to have a wedding in the middle of the summer, because being hot makes me grumpy. I have to look at what is planned out for the next year at work so that I don't have a wedding when all the stores are in the middle of resets (I'm a visual merchandiser for Bassett Furniture & there are a few months a year where it's impossible to take time off).
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Aug 7, 2008 12:35
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WolfensteinBag posted:As much as the forums on the knot are obnoxious 99% of the time, I have to say I actually love the website itself. I've been using the budgeter and guest list things a ton. I never used the forums on The Knot during our eighteen month engagement but the tools they offer on the site are great. Having a month-by-month break down of what you need to do was a huge help, it was nice to see our to do list dwindle leading up to the wedding. The guest list organizer was really useful as you could put in their addresses, if they were attending the wedding, the tables they were sitting at, if they sent you a gift and if you sent a thank you card back; stuff like that. It was really good for organizing things.
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Aug 7, 2008 15:19
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My fiancee can't stop reading the knot forums, mostly to gawk at how obsessive some people are about stupid poo poo, and letting strangers know every last intimate detail of their "wedding experience".
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Aug 7, 2008 15:43
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I'm a huge fan of The Knot - my wedding planner is one of their founding consultants - but I stayed far, far away from the forums. Everybody on there seemed pretty unstable.
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Aug 7, 2008 18:06
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do what now posted:I'm a huge fan of The Knot - my wedding planner is one of their founding consultants - but I stayed far, far away from the forums. Everybody on there seemed pretty unstable. I never really noticed they had forums until recently. I never cared to look. I will have to agree with everyone else that they're an excellent site for keeping track of things though. I didn't really use their budgeter too much since it's too involved, but their checklist & guestlist trackers came in really handy. Plus I loved looking at the pictures to get ideas for things. Their dress section is really lacking though. It came in handy as a reference list of designers, but the selection of dresses listed on theknot was pretty dismal. I used brides.com to look through wedding dresses (and there are alot on there), and for bridesmaid dresses I pretty much had to just look up each designer's website.
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Aug 7, 2008 19:46
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I love the checklist, but another thing I used was many of the etiquette FAQs they had listed. I used it to come up with how I wanted my invitations worded, the policy about "Plus ones", who pays for what, how to address invitations, etc etc. There's a wide range of info available. The forums for the small-ish city that my wedding is in weren't too bad and came with a lot of vendor recommendations/reviews that I used more than once. Also NINE DAYS aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Aug 7, 2008 20:21
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Endor posted:My fiancee can't stop reading the knot forums, mostly to gawk at how obsessive some people are about stupid poo poo, and letting strangers know every last intimate detail of their "wedding experience". I can't stop reading those forums either. The community weddingplans on Livejournal is the same way - my friend and I have a contest to see who can find the craziest posts in that community. The posts are all either people having meltdowns about their crazy family, or people posting really tacky crap, and you'll get a warning from the mods if you tell someone their dress is not flattering.
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Aug 7, 2008 21:42
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Gravitee posted:Also NINE DAYS aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! Yea, ours is quickly plummeting into a mess. I'm basically paying for the whole wedding myself (thanks to a procrastinating fiance who didn't put any money away/towards costs since we set the date). We had to drop yet another cost (bar credit for wedding party; $500 credit, 18 people, wouldn't go very far anyway) just to afford the more important things. We did manage to get last minute limos for transport to the reception ($315 plus tip, two 8 person limos). I had to put the rings on my card because they're the only wedding expense that can be paid with a credit card. I now have to do my own cake flowers too because his mom waited until the last second to talk with a florist & find out the cost ($235 for a topper with tiny partial wrap, and one partial wrap for bottom layer). Oh, and half the wedding party is either flat broke or not coming to the bachelor/ette party...so any hope of something exciting & different (as in, not staying local) went out the window. To add to that, the 10-day forecast is showing rain for us on the 16th. I usually don't trust the weather until the day beforehand, but if it does rain, that ruins ceremony pictures & adds $150 to costs because we'd have to rent a tent. And to top it all off... ...our officiant had a heart attack today. If he can't do it (and he survives, I don't know how bad it was), then he'll appoint someone to take his place. But still...that's crappy for both his family & our wedding.
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Aug 7, 2008 22:28
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goatse guy posted:I can't stop reading those forums either. The community weddingplans on Livejournal is the same way - my friend and I have a contest to see who can find the craziest posts in that community. The posts are all either people having meltdowns about their crazy family, or people posting really tacky crap, and you'll get a warning from the mods if you tell someone their dress is not flattering. You should post a few of the craziest ones here!
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Aug 7, 2008 22:30
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The knot forums are completely hosed. The NEY section(not engaged yet, though really just bitter old bitches who were already married for the most part but stuck around to harass the idiots) was pretty funny. It's been dead lately though. I'm finally getting to look at and update our wedding photos and am loving it. We didn't pay for the photographer so we weren't complaining when they took months upon months, but it's so exciting to see them now .
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Aug 7, 2008 23:45
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For some reason it took me forever to even FIND the forums on The Knot. But now that I have, I really want to post a gloating thread in the Not Engaged (Yet) forum. Those girls are crazy. Listen, ladies, if I can wait 5+ years and never need to post on a forum about it, so can you! edit: I especially like the ones who are like, "We've been dating almost 2 years already! WHAT IS HE WAITING FOR??!"
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Aug 8, 2008 01:08
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zap actionsdower! posted:For some reason it took me forever to even FIND the forums on The Knot. Seriously? There is such a section? And people post in it? I think I win that thread though - I waited 8 years!
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Aug 8, 2008 01:17
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Tell me if this is normal so I can stop freaking out a bit: I'm already married to my wife. We did a quick justice of the peace deal a year ago and are now getting ready to do the formal wedding for the families in October. We sent out invitations mid June with and RSVP date of August 1st, just so we could get a somewhat accurate amount of people for the wedding. It's August 7th, and a total of maybe 5 people have RSVPed, out of the 60 invitations we sent out. This isn't including people I know will come, like immediate family, bridal party, etc. If you add that to it, we probably have about 25 people, give or take. We were expecting a small wedding of probably not much more than 100 people, but with no one responding and it's already a week past being due, I'm getting a bit concerned. Is this the norm to be late on RSVP'ing? Any tips on what I should start doing?
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Aug 8, 2008 01:28
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zap actionsdower! posted:For some reason it took me forever to even FIND the forums on The Knot. If you read the NEY board regulary, it really isn't unengaged girls for the most part. Maybe lately, because most of us have laxed a little, but NEY is legendary on the knot as full of evil bitches who are mean to the poor young girls just trying to find their one true love*insert gag here* re your edit: Maybe he's waiting for you to not be so loving crazy so he can dump you without being stabbed and hung up in your voodoo secret ritual. girls are loving insane. <-- I'm allowed to say that, being one myself right? Nwin: I'd say it's the norm, I'd say it's also a bit harder when you are already married, people might not think they "really" have to RSVP. I know silly, but true. Most couples usually have to take the responsibility on to call them once the date passes to see if people are coming or not. It sucks though.
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Aug 8, 2008 01:38
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nwin posted:Tell me if this is normal so I can stop freaking out a bit: According to tradition and my wedding books, invites are normally sent out 6-8 weeks before an event. So you sent out pretty early, and my guess is that everyone plans on RSVPing closer to the event date. It is normal for some people not to RSVP, making you track them down by phone. But I think by the time Sept. 1 rolls around, you'll have heard from almost everybody.
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Aug 8, 2008 01:40
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do what now posted:Seriously? There is such a section? And people post in it? I think I win that thread though - I waited 8 years! I'm really, really glad I haven't seen that forum. Anyway, I was all kinds of loving The Knot's checklist and guestlist functions, until my account got "corrupted" (mysteriously, the day after I asked to not receive spammy emails from them and their "partners) and it was all lost. I'm so irritated, I haven't even bothered to set up another account.
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Aug 8, 2008 03:54
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nwin posted:We were expecting a small wedding of probably not much more than 100 people, but with no one responding and it's already a week past being due, I'm getting a bit concerned. We had to contact about half the people on our list (30 or so) because they didn't send back the rsvp cards. Most of the responses we got were... "Oh I forgot!" "I lost your address" "When's the deadline again?" (it's on the bottom of the card) "I don't remember getting an invite...oh, here it is." "Oh, I was supposed to return that?" The people we had the most trouble with were my mom's family. Most waited until the very last second, and the remainder had to rsvp (after the deadline) over the phone because otherwise we would never have gotten a response. We also had some close friends who didn't return them. It seems to be that the people you know best are the ones who won't return them because they automatically think you'll know they're coming...or they overlook the rsvp card & only pay attention to the invite itself. And some people assume that because they got an invite, that means they have a seat, regardless of whether or not they go. Some people won't mail them back until the deadline, and some not until a few days past. I say give it 1wk after the deadline, then write a list of those who didn't rsvp. Wait another week & if you still don't hear from them, contact them yourself. And if that fails, count them out. We had a couple stragglers that didn't get back to us until a week or so after we called them, but for the most part, everyone that didn't get back to us by 1-2wks after the deadline was someone who wasn't planning to go.
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Aug 8, 2008 08:31
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Oh. MY. GOD. It's just been pointed out to me that the day we've chosen for our wedding (19 Sept 09) is also International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Our anniversary for the rest of our lives will be on pirate day. I'm so, so chuffed with this. And in terms of invitations, our friends had everyone RSVP via an online form that linked to a Google Docs spreadsheet (which is stupidly easy to set up), so stuff like how many attending, dinner choices, hotel needed, and music requests were all handled on that without the need to hassle with stamps and such. If nearly everyone in your life is online (hell, even my grandparents check their email every day) then it might be another option.
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Aug 8, 2008 10:36
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Just giving them a phone # works too, but I think internet/email is the quickest way to get the most call backs. Our problem was similar in a way. We made RSVP postcards, and people liked them so much they REFUSED to return the RSVP. Seriously. We would get at least 2-3 phonecalls a day where the message was "uhm hi, it's Paul. Stacey wanted me to tell you that we're coming to the wedding, but she's not sending back the card thingie? I dunno" or something similar. Thankfully for us we didn't really need numbers as we were our own vendors, but still!
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Aug 8, 2008 12:45
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And now we've got our Pennsylvania reception venue! That's a big load off... We liked the look of the Lancaster Arts Hotel from their site, but my mom stopped in there last weekend to speak with their events manager and that just decided it for us. The building itself is amazing - an old converted tobacco warehouse and we'll have the dining room for 50 plus a huge terrace, and it's only $200 to rent. The restaurant there will be doing the food (also very reasonable!), and their whole philosophy is to only serve organic, local, and in season food. So we won't know what's actually on the menu until the day before, but my parents are going to "snoop eat" there in September this year to get an idea of what we might have next year. I'm really, really jealous! Anyway, we went through so many ideas for venues that I'm really relieved to have found something again that's so us, and that it's really reasonably priced is just a bonus.
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Aug 12, 2008 16:20
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squirrellypoo posted:And now we've got our Pennsylvania reception venue! That's a big load off... Congrats, the venue seems like it's one of the biggies. And that place looks like it will be a lot of fun! Also, $200 is a pretty drat good deal on the space rental, nice work!
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Aug 13, 2008 15:04
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I bought the ring earlier this week, and I just got confirmation that it's headed my way! I chose One-Day shipping, so hopefully it'll be here by Friday. I'm so happy! It's a 0.41 carat Very Good Princess cut, with VVS1 clarity and G color. I had to stretch my budget a little bit more than I wanted to, but she's definitely worth it. I'll be proposing on the 29th (our 3rd anniversary), so wish me luck!
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Aug 14, 2008 04:49
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congrats ih8u; We got married 4 days(i think? I'm terrible at dates, surprising HE remembers all of them) before our 3rd anniversary. Our wedding was a loving blast too. I can't stress enough that people really need to enjoy it, and not worry about the things that don't matter.
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Aug 14, 2008 05:03
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It's beautiful! Congrats! 
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Aug 14, 2008 06:18
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combee fucked around with this message at 13:53 on Jul 23, 2013 |
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Aug 14, 2008 08:43
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combee posted:Here's one, I'd direct link but I can't seem to get the link Does FFA = Future Farmers of America?
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Aug 14, 2008 15:30
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Narwhale posted:Does FFA = Future Farmers of America? Oh man, I hope so.
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Aug 14, 2008 17:20
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From her profile: "My wedding is in New Jersey ... My job College Student, Domestic Goddess" About Me: A county girl that is in love with a county boy (my interests: Agriculture, Babies, Cheerleading, Cooking, Dance, Family, Fashion, ffa, Friends, Horseback Riding, Horses, leadership, Love, Music, Parties )" She sure sounds like a keeper. Edit: From the post below mine... "he's pursuing a career in professional golf and doesn't want to marry til after he's successful."  You can't make this poo poo up.My fiance-to-be is building his own podracer, but he says he can't buy me a ring because he has to spend it on some kinda space engine. I need to know soon, because my 17th birthday is coming up and I wanna be all super cool at my party. Even though we haven't ever met in person, I'm soooo in love guys. I'm trying to see if he can come to my town for a week or so, but my mom doesn't want to pay for his ticket, and he can't, because, you know, space engine. What do I do, guys? By the way, he's 32. ih8ualot fucked around with this message at 18:31 on Aug 14, 2008 |
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Aug 14, 2008 18:13
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quote:Are we still engaged? Isn't that one of those things like "If you have to ask..."
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Aug 14, 2008 18:19
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Narwhale posted:Isn't that one of those things like "If you have to ask..." I read that one as well. I didn't get what the big deal was. She's young and he's trying to be successful before they settle down. On the same token I just don't get why not get married, if you're ready to be engaged nothings stopping you from going to the courthouse and getting the license signed. The only thing preventing it is that people want to have a party. Most of the NEY posts just make them sound like they don't really care for the marriage itself and instead are more concerned with having a wedding for themselves.
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Aug 14, 2008 18:29
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Take a look at what showed up a day early! (sorry for the lovely picture; all I have is a webcam)
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Aug 14, 2008 20:52
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Optimus_Rhyme posted:I read that one as well. I didn't get what the big deal was. She's young and he's trying to be successful before they settle down. On the same token I just don't get why not get married, if you're ready to be engaged nothings stopping you from going to the courthouse and getting the license signed. Although it's not as ridiculous as my partner's coworker who has a "commitment ring". We thought he and his girlfriend were engaged, but it turns out, no, he wears a commitment ring which is apparently a sign of their commitment to one day get engaged. They're in their twenties, so it's not like it's high schoolers playing at grown up relationships.  Am I the only one who thinks this is utterly ridiculous?
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Aug 14, 2008 23:25
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^^^A lot of people want to be more financially stable and be able to have a nice wedding, so it makes sense to me. Thanks for posting those forums; they're really hilarious. One girl posted something along the lines of "I know a girl who turned down an engagement because the rock was too small. I think that's totally shallow. I mean, I'd only turn it down if the ring was totally ugly, because if he doesn't know my jewelry tastes he doesn't know me at all."
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Aug 15, 2008 03:19
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I'm just wondering about something kinda small. Is it wrong for me and my fiance to go to a really nice expensive place for the rehearsal dinner to even things up if his dad is traditional and wants to pay for the dinner and stick my parents and us with the big bill? My parents aren't in the same financial situation as his and my sister just got married in May, so what they gave her is what we'll get as well. My fiance agrees with me that it's not fair for his dad to be "cheap" about it by sticking to tradition and his mom agrees too and mentioned perhaps they'll pay for the honeymoon too to sort of even things up a bit. I'm just not convinced that's really going to make it even unless we all order lobster and steak at the most expensive place in town. For the honeymoon we're probably going to do a cruise. What we'd really like to do is have all the contributors, parents and us, contribute and we just spend as needed and put the left overs towards a house. If someone was in this situation before could you tell me how you fixed it if you did to make it even. It really bothers me because I don't think his dad understands my parents don't have the financial resources as they do. Edit to include comment about "commitment ring". When my fiance graduated college, before he got a really nice paying job with his degree he bought me a promise ring that one day we'll get married. It's real small, 1/5 of a carat. But sure enough 2 years later I got the engagement ring of my dreams. It's a full carat 3 stone princess cut. We've been dating for 4 and 1/2 years through our college careers. He wanted to make sure he was financially secure before he proposed and wanted to wait until I graduated too. I hated it while we were dating and all our friends were getting married, but I totally respect him for it now. The promise ring was just a symbolic gesture rather than just saying the words "we'll eventually get married" which is so empty. DrPepperholik fucked around with this message at 05:38 on Aug 15, 2008 |
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Aug 15, 2008 05:31
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I'm going to hijack my own thread back for purely self indulgent reasons... I'M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Everything has fallen into place and no major problems to report. The MIA co maid of honor made it back into the US last night, my favors arrived yesterday, and the weather is going to be beautiful tomorrow. One sad thing though - one of my guests was hit by a drunk driver Tues. night (he's ok, car is not) and he won't be able to make it which is totally understandable. A full year of planning has gone into this and it's about to pay off. I sat around last night watching tv and I kept thinking to myself "I should be doing something" but the SO said to me "You've been planning this for a year and you are done. Relax!" and so I did. I've spent so much energy into planning, I have no idea what I am going to do with myself when I get back from my honeymoon. Maybe I'll have a dinner party with all of the new fancy dishes I've been getting! Also, good luck to IdeoPhanthus on her wedding day too!
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Aug 15, 2008 12:58
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DrPepperholik posted:I'm just wondering about something kinda small. Is it wrong for me and my fiance to go to a really nice expensive place for the rehearsal dinner to even things up if his dad is traditional and wants to pay for the dinner and stick my parents and us with the big bill? My parents aren't in the same financial situation as his and my sister just got married in May, so what they gave her is what we'll get as well. My fiance agrees with me that it's not fair for his dad to be "cheap" about it by sticking to tradition and his mom agrees too and mentioned perhaps they'll pay for the honeymoon too to sort of even things up a bit. I'm just not convinced that's really going to make it even unless we all order lobster and steak at the most expensive place in town. For the honeymoon we're probably going to do a cruise. What we'd really like to do is have all the contributors, parents and us, contribute and we just spend as needed and put the left overs towards a house. "Even it up" by being an adult who is old enough to get married and either paying for it yourself or being a gracious person who accepts whatever is given to them. It's a gift, not your birthright.
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Aug 15, 2008 22:12
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The semi-annual bridal showcase in my city is this weekend. I'm dragging my fiance along so that we can hopefully get a better idea of where we want to have our ceremony & reception. Anybody have any tips for how to get through the day?
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Aug 15, 2008 23:09
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Good luck Gravitee! I'm newly engaged and still getting used to my new ring and status! I found a really lovely sapphire ring that I'm so pleased with. We're planning to have the wedding in about a year and a half, which is plenty of time to plan, but I find myself looking at wedding sites and magazines already out of the excitement of the engagement. I think we're planning to pick a date and book the ceremony as soon as possible too so it's something to work towards, especially if we decide to have it sooner rather than later. This is my ring (I only got engaged two days ago!) 
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Aug 15, 2008 23:46
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