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Adri posted:I just realized that my MOH is not into really helping me. Long story short, never has time to help and doesn't offer any ideas or whatever. I kind of have the opposite problem- I am the MOH and I have no idea what to do! The parents are paying for everything so I kind of feel like they are running the show, and I don't want to cross anyone by throwing my opinions out there because the groom's mom is a real steamroller and it's pretty much whatever she says goes. I want to be involved because I think weddings are super fun, but the mom makes it so incredibly awkward since we are so different. On the one hand I feel like the worst MOH ever and a total deadbeat but at the same time I have no idea what the hell I am actually supposed to be doing if everyone else has every plan on lockdown! So, any advice that any of you have would be really appreciated, this wedding isn't for a year and I am already stressing about it, and I'm not even the one getting hitched!
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Sep 14, 2008 02:26
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Adri posted:I just realized that my MOH is not into really helping me. Long story short, never has time to help and doesn't offer any ideas or whatever. Is she actually aware that she's your MOH? If not, then you can easily weasel out of it. But if she does, then it gets a little sticky. In the best situation, you could hope that she'd understand your replacing her, but we're women and rarely are we that gracious. So my advice would be to tactfully insert another of your friends into her spot as MOH by having her help you and offer opinions and then say that you weren't entirely sure when you originally thought she would be your MOH. And that because of your friend's time restraints, you're doing her a favor by taking extra stress off of her. I guess just try to make it look like you're doing this in her best interest by having her in your wedding, so she's still a good friend, but she has no heavy responsibilities.
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Sep 14, 2008 04:17
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zap actionsdower! posted:Whoo! Finally made some progress on the planning this week. Eee You are 4 days after me! Let me know when you get jitters, because I've been having them for the last month. Its not that I don't want to do it at all, its more like 'Holy poo poo, this time next year I am going to be a wife.' The fact that the hotel is doing everything is what is keeping me sane, for sure.
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Sep 14, 2008 16:07
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ElanoreMcMantis posted:Eee You are 4 days after me! Let me know when you get jitters, because I've been having them for the last month. Its not that I don't want to do it at all, its more like 'Holy poo poo, this time next year I am going to be a wife.' I'm about a week after you guys (April 26th). Looks like spring is the place to be  I'm not having jitters, but I'm a bit overwhelmed. I generally work best under deadline, and I'm having a hard time dealing with these nebulous deadlines that are months and months off, along with decisions that seem pretty much arbitrary. Picking a date was hard because they all seemed to be about the same. Now I'm having trouble with colours and flowers and first dance songs, because again, I can narrow it down but the options all seem as good as each other.
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Sep 14, 2008 19:19
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Maybe it's because I plan events for work, but I'm not at all concerned about doing any more prep at the moment. We'll knock things off a couple at a time over the next few months.
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Sep 14, 2008 20:14
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So this weekend my boyfriend of 3.5 years proposed. We set a date for April too! Although ours is in 2010. I have to finish school first, and April 03, 2010 is the fifth anniversary of when we met (we started dating two days after, but the 3rd is a Saturday). When we told our relatives we got the same reaction "Why so long out?" or "So you believe in long engagements". Er, as if it were a bad thing? It's a year and a half, and I'd like to have plenty of time to like...plan. I don't want to freak out over not having enough time to get things done, you know?
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Sep 15, 2008 01:35
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cool kids inc. posted:So this weekend my boyfriend of 3.5 years proposed. We set a date for April too! Although ours is in 2010. I have to finish school first, and April 03, 2010 is the fifth anniversary of when we met (we started dating two days after, but the 3rd is a Saturday). I just got engaged a month ago and we're getting married in Jan. 2010, for the same reasons you do. It's better, you get locked into the year before rates and save a bunch of money that way. BTW my former MOH agreed to step down. Time to get a new girl  .
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Sep 15, 2008 01:59
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cool kids inc. posted:When we told our relatives we got the same reaction "Why so long out?" or "So you believe in long engagements". Er, as if it were a bad thing? It's a year and a half, and I'd like to have plenty of time to like...plan. I don't want to freak out over not having enough time to get things done, you know? Hah. When we told our relatives that we were getting married, they got uptight about not having enough time to prepare - and this was a year and four months before our wedding. There's no pleasing anyone. So I visited a wedding fair today, and it was pretty much a big disappointment. The photographers I liked were all extremely expensive, and the photographers in our price range were either extremely antisocial, booked for our date, or downright terrible. I've noticed that it seems to be a trick to dig up indoor shots in their portfolios, because a lot of them seem to only put outdoor pictures in, and their indoor shots are dark and unpleasant. I spoke with a photographer about a month ago who I thought was out of range, but I think I'm going to see if she's available. Her portfolio was great, and we're probably going to end up spending in the upper range of our budget anyhow, and she's only slightly above that. One thing I'm wondering about her packages, though - they include a custom album, but only around 5 prints. Am I going to regret that? Is there any reason I'll really want to have a whole lot of prints? I'll have an album and the digital files.
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Sep 15, 2008 01:59
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cool kids inc. posted:So this weekend my boyfriend of 3.5 years proposed. We set a date for April too! Although ours is in 2010. I have to finish school first, and April 03, 2010 is the fifth anniversary of when we met (we started dating two days after, but the 3rd is a Saturday). Congratulations! We're aiming for April '10, too!  I really wanted a fall wedding, but with saving up & everything, it just wouldn't work out, which SUCKS. We can't do it the following fall, either because my boyfriend's best man is going to be deployed. I'm just learning to accept it, although I still might try and talk my boyfriend into a winter wedding, we'll see.That whole "Why so long out?" thing is part of the reason I REALLY didn't want to have to wait so long, but unfortunately the budget won't allow for it. At least by the time my sister gets married, she'll have waited over 2 years, so our wedding doesn't seem AS far out, although it still seems like a long ways away. At least it's tons of time to plan!
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Sep 15, 2008 02:36
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I dunno if this is the appropriate thread, so just make frowny faces at me or something if it isn't. This isn't so much as "how do i marry lol" as "when do i marry lol" Ok, let's get this out of the way, I'm 19 and have been dating a girl for almost 4 years (new year's is our "dating anniversary" and if I can pull it off our actual one). I am way too young to marry anyone. I haven't started a career, we're both in school, no one has money, etc. Around what time would be the proper time to pop the question/do this thing? I think no matter what happens it will be a long rear end time until soething actually comes of it, and the engagement might last as long as our current time.
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Sep 15, 2008 06:13
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SeraphSlaughter posted:
This is just my personal opinion, so you and your girlfriend may disagree. But to me, there is no point getting engaged unless you're ready to get married, give or take a year or so. As a point of reference, the first thing absolutely everyone asked us after we got engaged was "when's the date?" Unless you're ready to pin down a pretty specific time, dating is pretty good option. You can be in a serious, committed relationship without getting engaged.
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Sep 15, 2008 06:21
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LittleCat posted:This is just my personal opinion, so you and your girlfriend may disagree. But to me, there is no point getting engaged unless you're ready to get married, give or take a year or so. I was thinking this is the best option too, and will prob go with it. I guess about 6 months after we move in together would be a nice "hey marry me lol" time.
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Sep 15, 2008 06:55
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LittleCat posted:This is just my personal opinion, so you and your girlfriend may disagree. But to me, there is no point getting engaged unless you're ready to get married, give or take a year or so. I totally, totally agree. You don't want to end up like Pam & Roy on The Office. If you have a super long engagement, no matter how committed you are to eachother, people are still going to talk & think it's not a serious engagement, and you two might slack off later on with setting a date since it's so far away. Personally, I'd just talk about marriage to your girlfriend and mention that although you two aren't ready to get married yet, let her know it's at least in the future. You don't necessarily want to get engaged at the moment, but you don't want the girl thinking there's no hope, either!
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Sep 15, 2008 06:56
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WolfensteinBag posted:I totally, totally agree. You don't want to end up like Pam & Roy on The Office. If you have a super long engagement, no matter how committed you are to eachother, people are still going to talk & think it's not a serious engagement, and you two might slack off later on with setting a date since it's so far away. Personally, I'd just talk about marriage to your girlfriend and mention that although you two aren't ready to get married yet, let her know it's at least in the future. You don't necessarily want to get engaged at the moment, but you don't want the girl thinking there's no hope, either! we've had the discussion at length, and the general agreement is "no marriage until we've at least moved in together for some length of time and find we can stand each other all the time"
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Sep 15, 2008 07:01
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My boyfriend and I actually had a similar condition, only for different reasons. I was already staying with him at his parents house for awhile (more room there than at my parents) so we knew we could live together, but we figured if we were living on our own, we'd be stable enough financially to handle it. Still took him a year & a half to propose after that (  ) but it's definitely the perfect time, now. Sounds like you'll be in a similar spot ~6 months after you're living together like you mentioned, good luck waiting it out!
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Sep 15, 2008 07:07
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WolfensteinBag posted:My boyfriend and I actually had a similar condition, only for different reasons. I was already staying with him at his parents house for awhile (more room there than at my parents) so we knew we could live together, but we figured if we were living on our own, we'd be stable enough financially to handle it. Still took him a year & a half to propose after that ( Oh man I can wait with how much everything costs. I'm not even falling into money anytime soon, I'm a music major getting an education certification. Not exactly gonna be rolling in the benjamins soon lol.
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Sep 15, 2008 07:43
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SeraphSlaughter posted:Oh man I can wait with how much everything costs. I'm not even falling into money anytime soon, I'm a music major getting an education certification. Not exactly gonna be rolling in the benjamins soon lol. If you're still in college, probably you shouldn't be thinking about marriage yet. You don't know where your careers will take you or how your personalities will develop. I have been with the same guy since high school and through college, and I'll probably marry him, so there's hope, but it is kind of a long shot to bet on what you'll be like in 3 or 4 years from now. Making sure she knows you're committed to her and love her is enough, without getting into a dubious engagement.
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Sep 15, 2008 14:19
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CalamityKate posted:If I was going to go non-diamond, I'd go CZ and save the difference money-wise, but that's just me. If she really likes the look of the Moissanites, good for her, and just shop around a lot like you would with any other ring! Good luck! Thanks! We both like the look of Moissanites (online) as well as their properties and think it'd be a good alternative to a diamond without the stigma of a "cheap" CZ, which exists regardless of whether we think it should. We haven't seen Moissanite in person yet, and personal images on Flickr and other sites are limited, so we are stuck looking at the retailers' images. That's why I thought I would ask here before finding a brick-and-mortar shop to check one out. Maybe they aren't as popular as I had hoped? Anyone have or know someone who has a Moissanite who would like to give a brief testimonial?
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Sep 15, 2008 14:32
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I don't see the problem with a long engagement, really. Our date is in October 2012, but we're not telling anyone except close friends about it for a couple of years. It's not that I'm not ready to get married (I already live with him and mainly think of it as the same but with different tax forms), but my mom really disapproves of marriage at a young age, so I want to be at least a little bit older to make her happy. Not only that, but we'll hopefully have enough money to so something a little nice by then.
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Sep 15, 2008 15:42
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Zaftig posted:I don't see the problem with a long engagement, really. Our date is in October 2012, But you at least have a date in mind, which tends to work a lot better than "We're engaged but we aren't even thinking about planning a wedding". What inevitably seems to happen in that case is one person eventually gets more interested in making definite plans for the wedding and keeps asking "Can we set a date now? How about now? Now? What are you waiting for?" and the other party keeps saying "We're not ready yet, let's talk about it next year". See this video for a good analogy
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Sep 15, 2008 16:16
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Endor posted:But you at least have a date in mind, which tends to work a lot better than "We're engaged but we aren't even thinking about planning a wedding". What inevitably seems to happen in that case is one person eventually gets more interested in making definite plans for the wedding and keeps asking "Can we set a date now? How about now? Now? What are you waiting for?" and the other party keeps saying "We're not ready yet, let's talk about it next year". Yah, this is what I meant. If you're committed to getting married, and have a general date in mind, then wedding planning isn't going to come as a surprise. But if it's just a "well, we've been dating a while so we should probably get engaged, but we're not ready to get married any time in the foreseeable future" thing, then I personally would suggest just continuing to date. Long engagements are fine, if there's an end in sight!
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Sep 15, 2008 23:46
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Hey wedding people. We're getting married in August 2009 at the biological field station where we met. We are really psyched that the field station is willing to do this for us. The problem is we'll need to have a reception somewhere else, because field stations are not for giant drunken parties. We're having a small wedding, 40-60 people. No one we know lives anywhere near the field station where we met, which shoots down our idea of using someone's back yard. It's also a little bit in the middle of nowhere. The local bars are all dives. We use to go to these dives together when we lived at the field station, so they do have sentimental value. Should we have our reception in one of our favorite old dives, even though the food sucks? What are our other options? Thanks so much for your help!
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Sep 16, 2008 21:06
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JustLikeYouThought posted:Should we have our reception in one of our favorite old dives, even though the food sucks? You're not referring to Hoppie's, are you?
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Sep 17, 2008 00:10
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Endor posted:You're not referring to Hoppie's, are you? Psh, I wish. Place looks awesome. These places don't have websites.
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Sep 17, 2008 00:21
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Tindjin posted:Throwing my question in here first.. They're starting to get unholy expensive and bodywork hasn't really gone down. I'd probably just save up the 20-25k and just get one turn key.
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Sep 17, 2008 01:00
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Endor posted:But you at least have a date in mind, which tends to work a lot better than "We're engaged but we aren't even thinking about planning a wedding". The only downside to a long engagement with an end in sight is that I've been really excited about planning for the past six months but it's way too soon to do anything.
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Sep 17, 2008 02:05
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^^^ Totally know how you feel. Was going to be engaged for two years before the wedding. I've just reached the one year mark and NOW I can start planning for realz. But you kinda have to forget that it's out there in the distance. Unless you want to be super planner and start crafting everything and then having it sit around for a while. Which I can say that doesn't work, it just makes you more anxious. Like when I buy Christmas gifts and wrap them in November and then they sit there for a month for me to stare at in anticipation. Not cool. Best just not to think about it.
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Sep 17, 2008 18:22
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JustLikeYouThought posted:Should we have our reception in one of our favorite old dives, even though the food sucks? Have you thought of hotels, K of C or Lions Clubs halls, parks with pavilions, restaurants with large private rooms, restaurants where you can rent out the whole place, museums, nature centers, or church activity rooms?
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Sep 17, 2008 20:08
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Gravitee posted:Have you thought of hotels, K of C or Lions Clubs halls, parks with pavilions, restaurants with large private rooms, restaurants where you can rent out the whole place, museums, nature centers, or church activity rooms? There are 2 hotels in the area and a lions club hall. I hadn't thought of the lions club hall, the hotels are out of our price range. Thanks for the idea, I'll check it out.
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Sep 17, 2008 21:30
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Woop, first hurdle cleared - I've just booked the registrar. I could only book a year in advance so I rang up at 9am today, only to find the answerphone contradicted the lady's instructions and their offices actually open at 9:30. So I rang back exactly at 9:30, left my message (they only operate on a callback basis), and just spoke to the registrar now. And would you believe some other bitch in Milton Keynes got in there first? GAH. So we were only left with the ceremony choices of 12:30 or 3:30. I went for the former, even though I was ideally going to shoot for 2pm. But so be it. As long as bridezilla bitch doesn't book up all the hotels and hair and makeup peeps in town, too, I'll be fine. So now we have to give notice at our local council's registry office within the next month, and they'll contact Milton Keynes with our info and the booking will be in stone. Luckily, I also have to go into our council's offices to get my UK nationality paperwork document checked so I can kill two birds with one stone... Really, this is with one year to go. People are stupidly organised about these sort of things.
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Sep 19, 2008 14:10
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So, we're still a year and a half away from getting married, have no money for deposits, and haven't been able to do anything, not even book our reception hall, but I'm crazy so I already bought these for our centerpieces! The plan is to get just small 4x4 inch glass cube vases, drop an LED light in the bottom (different for each table, white, blue, purple, maybe green) and cover it with those clear glass things that look like squished marbles and have a cut off sprig of that thing I found at Hobby Lobby coming out the top. I was also thinking of putting some sort of simple flower in there, too, but I figure down the road I'll discuss it with a florist to get suggestions. Here's a pic of how I kind of envision the centerpieces to look, only with larger stones in the bottom: Those branches were on super duper clearance, so I figured I'd have to buy them just in case I never see them again. Now I need to figure out an equally awesome bouquet!
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Sep 22, 2008 19:23
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This is very un-romantic, but how does marriage affect your taxes? I'll provide backstory if wanted, but the tl;dr version is that it's looking like the only way for my boyfriend to live off campus is to marry me (we're engaged anyway), but I'm worried about his financial aid. Is it possible to be married and dependent on your parents (we make under $3,000 a year combined if that helps)? I'm checking with google, but I wanted to know if there are any highly-recommended sites for this kind of information.
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Sep 22, 2008 19:34
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I have no idea, so don't take this as actual tax advice or anything, but I would think that making that little you would still qualify for financial aid. I don't think you'd still be able to be declared as dependents (I could be wrong) but regardless, that still counts as low income.
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Sep 22, 2008 20:04
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Zaftig posted:This is very un-romantic, but how does marriage affect your taxes? I'll provide backstory if wanted, but the tl;dr version is that it's looking like the only way for my boyfriend to live off campus is to marry me (we're engaged anyway), but I'm worried about his financial aid. Is it possible to be married and dependent on your parents (we make under $3,000 a year combined if that helps)? I'm checking with google, but I wanted to know if there are any highly-recommended sites for this kind of information. In other cases, marriage usually means you are no longer dependent on your parents. See if his school's financial aid office can give better advice, or refer you guys to a student service that can look up the legal/tax side for you.
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Sep 22, 2008 20:08
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zaftig posted:This is very un-romantic, but how does marriage affect your taxes? I'll provide backstory if wanted, but the tl;dr version is that it's looking like the only way for my boyfriend to live off campus is to marry me (we're engaged anyway), but I'm worried about his financial aid. Is it possible to be married and dependent on your parents (we make under $3,000 a year combined if that helps)? I'm checking with google, but I wanted to know if there are any highly-recommended sites for this kind of information. A reason to actually post in this thread! It depends on where you go to school, but in the UC system, you're automatically a dependent of your parents for financial aid reasons (and in many cases, insurance as well) until you're a)24, b)married or c)have children. Meaning, when you get married, your financial aid will now be calculated off of your and your new husbands income, not yours and your parents. For tax purposes, your parents could no longer claim you as a dependent. One of the qualifiers is that you're single. Your husband could claim you as a dependent though, if he can prove he supports you. (Pretty sure) Hope this helps!
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Sep 22, 2008 20:30
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I'll chime in and add to Lackadaisical's post that being married = independent for all FAFSA purposes, and so probably for most financial aid offices even outside of the UC system.
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Sep 22, 2008 20:56
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Thanks for the replies. I might have to suck it up and live on campus with him. His mom is a professor at another university and gets tuition exchange, but he wouldn't be able to if he wasn't a dependent. Sigh.
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Sep 22, 2008 21:34
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Anyone have any non-ebay suggestions on where to sell an unwanted dress? I still have my old one (before I found the one I posted), its an unaltered size 12, and I just want to be rid of it. I don't expect to get the $250 I spent on it back, but for a full gown with matching shawl I'd like to get like $100. I'd do craigslist outside of my city, but I don't know if that is a good idea? I found one site that is for buying-selling used wedding gowns, but this one is technically 'new'.
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Sep 22, 2008 22:09
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^^^^ https://www.recycleyourwedding.com Somebody JUST posted this on the Chicago Knot board. Seems like ebay, only for brides.
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Sep 22, 2008 23:02
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Lackadaisical posted:A reason to actually post in this thread! Your parents can claim you as a dependent after you're married but only if you live with them for more than half the year. It sounds like you don't, because you're talking about living with your fiance on campus or off, but just fyi.
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Sep 23, 2008 08:39
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