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JustLikeYouThought posted:Your parents can claim you as a dependent after you're married but only if you live with them for more than half the year. It sounds like you don't, because you're talking about living with your fiance on campus or off, but just fyi. Not necessarily. They would also have to file separate returns. They could live there for the entire year, but as long as they were filing joint, they couldn't be a dependent. http://www.irs.gov/newsroom/article/0,,id=133298,00.html I'm just being nit-picky though! Back to the romantic stuff! 
Lackadaisical fucked around with this message at 09:54 on Sep 23, 2008 |
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Sep 23, 2008 09:52
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Her parents can only claim her as a dependency exemption if they provide more than half of her support and she lives with them for more than half the year. If she files a joint return, they can still claim her if she didn't need to file a return or if she files only for a refund. This will probably be true given they are providing over half of her support and she lives with them for over half the year. I prepare taxes every day for months of the year, yos. I can out nit pick you any day. Let's go! Here's a link about the exception: http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc354.html Ok, no more tax stuff, romance! JustLikeYouThought fucked around with this message at 22:59 on Sep 23, 2008 |
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Sep 23, 2008 22:51
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Anyone have experience getting a wedding dress custom-made by a local seamstress? My fiance and I are going to be in Thailand in December, and we're thinking we could save a lot of money by getting a dress made while we're there (I might have a tux made as well since it's probably cheaper than renting). If she brings in pictures of the dress she wants, do you think a seamstress would be able to make something similar?
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Sep 23, 2008 23:18
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Papercut posted:Anyone have experience getting a wedding dress custom-made by a local seamstress? My fiance and I are going to be in Thailand in December, and we're thinking we could save a lot of money by getting a dress made while we're there (I might have a tux made as well since it's probably cheaper than renting). If she brings in pictures of the dress she wants, do you think a seamstress would be able to make something similar? That sounds incredibly risky, unless you already have recommendations on seamstresses there. Also, how long will you be there? It takes a very long time to make a dress. You're talking like, a few months, right?
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Sep 25, 2008 03:48
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zap actionsdower! posted:That sounds incredibly risky, unless you already have recommendations on seamstresses there. It has been several years since I was in Thailand, but from what I remember, tailoring doesn't take that long. Having clothing custom made is more common there than in other parts of the world and consequently it is less of a specialty kind of endeavor. That being said, it depends a lot on how fancy/complicated the dress is and I would second the importance of getting recommendations from people you trust regarding good tailors.
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Sep 25, 2008 04:34
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zap actionsdower! posted:That sounds incredibly risky, unless you already have recommendations on seamstresses there. It's really not risky at all, because we'll be there 9 months before the wedding, so if things don't work out we'll just go the traditional route back in the US. My uncle is married to a Thai woman, and we're actually going there because my cousin is getting married to a Thai woman, so maybe we'll be able to have them make recommendations or scout things out ahead of time. Then when we're there we could just have the final fitting done. Edit: we'll be there for 10 days Papercut fucked around with this message at 20:25 on Sep 25, 2008 |
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Sep 25, 2008 20:23
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cool kids inc. posted:So this weekend my boyfriend of 3.5 years proposed. We set a date for April too! Although ours is in 2010. I have to finish school first, and April 03, 2010 is the fifth anniversary of when we met (we started dating two days after, but the 3rd is a Saturday). My fiancee and I have been engaged since August 2006 and we're getting married in May, which has been our plan the entire time. If my experience has been any indication, get used to people talking, making a joke out of you, etc. It sucks, but our wedding is going to be loving amazing and neither of us can wait to prove everyone wrong.
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Sep 25, 2008 20:28
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So, my mom & youngest brother came into town this week & we got sooo much done. We have a venue for the ceremony & reception, a date, and most importantly...a dress!!! I'm scared to post about my dress because I don't want my fiance to run across it, but we're having the ceremony & reception at a hotel here in Charlotte. They have an outdoor courtyard for the ceremony & then the reception will be setup in a permanent outdoor tent (that is heated & cooled). I looked at a bunch of different options, but this was the best one in terms of getting everything taken care of by one person. They'll do all the food, cake, linens, chair covers, all the tables & bars. And they provide us with a suite for the night. And because pictures make everything better....  Click here for the full 800x600 image.  Click here for the full 800x600 image.  Click here for the full 800x600 image.  Click here for the full 800x600 image.
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Sep 28, 2008 01:45
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Wow, the place looks really nice! I love places that are a blank slate like that, all white. You can do so much with it. Have you thought about doing lighting at all? Those white walls are perfect for adding color! Since you brought it up, we just found an awesome place we're probably going with, too! We just need to go visit them together (we've both gone separately) with a list of questions and really hash out the details before we commit.  Yeah, that's right, it's a freakin' train station!   Virtual Tour My boyfriend had to go out there for work last week, and found out that the cafe at the train station did weddings! It's awesome, because they only have a max of 100 people, but we should be around 75. I LOVE the idea of going somewhere smaller and taking advantage of our small guest count, plus the place is so unique and so different from normal banquet halls. I was starting to get kinda bummed out about resigning to the fact that we'd be stuck with a banquet wedding, so this place was like a godsend! Plus, it's super cheap and right where everyone lives. It's so perfect!
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Sep 28, 2008 14:46
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WolfensteinBag posted:Wow, the place looks really nice! I love places that are a blank slate like that, all white. You can do so much with it. I definitely want to add some additional color. The wedding that was set up yesterday didn't really seem to add anything to the room. Their centerpieces were tiny & they didn't even do the chair covers....But the hotel will provide large hurricanes & some smaller votives for each of the tables so that will help with ambiance lighting. WolfensteinBag posted:My boyfriend had to go out there for work last week, and found out that the cafe at the train station did weddings! It's awesome, because they only have a max of 100 people, but we should be around 75. I LOVE the idea of going somewhere smaller and taking advantage of our small guest count, plus the place is so unique and so different from normal banquet halls. I was starting to get kinda bummed out about resigning to the fact that we'd be stuck with a banquet wedding, so this place was like a godsend! Plus, it's super cheap and right where everyone lives. That place looks so wonderful! The smaller size will be really nice, which is actually one of the other reasons we decided on our venue. So many of those banquet halls are made to hold hundreds of people, which would just look empty with only 100 people in it.
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Sep 28, 2008 15:43
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GoreJess posted:That place looks so wonderful! The smaller size will be really nice, which is actually one of the other reasons we decided on our venue. So many of those banquet halls are made to hold hundreds of people, which would just look empty with only 100 people in it. Exactly! Why bother with some huge place that looks cookie cutter when you can get something cool & smaller. You know, some DJs offer ambient lighting with their packages, that's what we've been looking in to. Do you know what your wedding colors are going to be? I saw these two pictures, and they're very much what I wanted. The second one actually has a ceiling similar to what you've got, it looks so dramatic if it's lighted the right way!  
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Sep 28, 2008 16:03
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Is the light that dim throughout the whole reception? It looks really awesome, but it seems like it'd get a bit annoying having to deal with the low lighting after a while, especially for older people who don't see as well. I know I'd be bumping into things all over the place.
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Sep 28, 2008 16:19
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Papercut posted:It's really not risky at all, because we'll be there 9 months before the wedding, so if things don't work out we'll just go the traditional route back in the US. 
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Sep 28, 2008 18:49
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innocent_deadly posted:Is the light that dim throughout the whole reception? It looks really awesome, but it seems like it'd get a bit annoying having to deal with the low lighting after a while, especially for older people who don't see as well. I know I'd be bumping into things all over the place. I know, those do look dark. I like those mostly for the colors, but you'd never even be able to see your food! I like something in between, where there's color like that, but maybe the "house" lights are a little brighter.
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Sep 28, 2008 21:22
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WolfensteinBag posted:(train station pics) Oh that's fun. How cool! There will be so many neat photo ops in that place, I bet. And you could run with either a Pullman or Orient Express influence.
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Sep 28, 2008 22:12
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Carlton Banks Teller posted:Just be sure you bring someone who speaks fluently in both Thai and English and check up on the progress as frequently as you can. I live on the border and my boss had heard very good things about a seamstress in Mexico, so they went to see her with lots of photos and with the help of a friend they got the design down. Or so they thought. The dress was ready for pickup 2 weeks before the wedding and it was nothing like what my boss had planned. She had gone solo for that trip, and had no way to tell the seamstress what exactly was wrong with it. She took the dress, then went down again the next day with a translator -- but by then the seamstress had moved on to other projects and started giving her a hard time about having changes made since the dress was "done" ... everything got sorted out eventually, and the dress did look good, but my boss's attitude about the dress was significantly changed and that's sort of a big thing to be bummed about prior to the wedding. That's a great suggestion. Hopefully we'll have my aunt-in-law with us, or at least find a seamstress who speaks decent English.
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Sep 28, 2008 22:37
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CalamityKate posted:Oh that's fun. How cool! There will be so many neat photo ops in that place, I bet. And you could run with either a Pullman or Orient Express influence. The funniest part is half my extended family works for the railroad. My grandpa did it his whole life, and passed it on I guess. So it'll sorta be an homage which is nice.
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Sep 28, 2008 23:07
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I'm feeling a bit better about things now. We've booked our photographer, and she seems fantastic. And now that we've figured out our colours, it's getting a lot easier to sort out many other little decisions. I just picked up a nice clutch and our guest book today. Unfortunately, the woman I was hoping to have officiate probably won't travel to our venue. So now I need to figure something out. How does one go about finding officiants? Anyone have any recommendations for one in the Vancouver (Canada) area?
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Sep 29, 2008 02:07
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I have NO idea about finding an officiant, I'm actually having the same problem. I go to all these "Chicago" wedding boards asking advice, but they KEEP suggesting a couple companies that hire reverends to go out & do weddings for cheap, but we really want a super secular wedding, so we need a judge or justice of the peace. I have no freakin' clue how to find one. So what are your wedding colors? I always love hearing about stuff like that.  Also, are a lot of you over at the Off Beat Tribe boards? I was thinking of starting a goon group, but wouldn't bother if no one would join or understand it!
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Sep 29, 2008 13:45
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We're gonna go for a really bold, springy colour scheme - mostly green with a bunch of pink and some orange. I made a (pretty crappy) inspiration board thing to help wrap my head around it:  Click here for the full 432x648 image. Yah, we're definitely having a secular wedding as well. I do have friends who are both die-hard atheists who just got married by a woman who seemed lovely, but she was very, very quiet during the ceremony. I'd like it if our guests could actually hear some of what's going on. I don't post on other boards for wedding stuff. I might get into it as things get closer, though.
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Sep 29, 2008 15:54
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I like the Off Beat Bride website/boards, there are some really awesome people on there with tons of neat ideas. I like your colors! I love when the color scheme is bold & bright like that. I should make up an inspiration board like that, it might help me get a more clear vision of what I want to do!
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Sep 29, 2008 16:07
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LittleCat posted:We're gonna go for a really bold, springy colour scheme - mostly green with a bunch of pink and some orange. I've been to two weddings within the last year that had pink and orange - one looked great, the other not so much. At the bad one, the MOH wore orange and the rest of the bridesmaids wore that dark pink color and it looked really off. I think that was due in part to the fact that there was like 6 of them to the one orange. The one that looked great paired the pink and orange with black which contrasts so well. It really made an impression. Green and white were my colors and I had the hardest time matching the shade of green. All of the tux places around had either forest or lime, but not the clover I picked out. Men's Warehouse carried the color in a vest but the pattern was awful. I never found a vest I liked, but I did find a tie, so we went with a tie and suspenders. The guys looked great! I also had a hard time matching the color with invitations, linens, and jewelry. I had to have the invitations and jewelry custom made. It's definitely something to keep in mind when choosing your colors if they aren't a fairly standard 8 pack of crayola color - check with potential vendors to see what they offer.
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Sep 29, 2008 18:11
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Thanks for the feedback on the colours! I'm not too worried about the green. TipTop tailors has at least two nice green vest/tie combos, and I've seen the colour for the bridesmaids dresses from at least a couple designers at the bridal shop I got my dress from. And I'll be getting the invitations custom made no matter what. I may not end up with perfectly matching colours, and people may secretly judge me for that, but I'm bad enough at noticing that sort of thing that I won't care  The pink and orange, on the other hand, are going to be limited to flowers and other assorted details (the guestbook is pink, for example). We want bold, but we don't want ridiculous. And pink and orange dresses together would be awful.
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Sep 29, 2008 18:17
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Okay, so we have no idea how much we should Tip our Catering staff. The company sent us an estimate at: $6000 for Food $4000 for Labor ($25/hr per staff member) $2000 for a service charge (they said it isn't a tip, but rather a surcharge for other expenses like gas, insurance, etc) We'll have 7 staff members on hand. Now, I worked as a Server, so obviously I understand the importance of tipping. But since they are billing out 25 bucks an hour I'm not sure how much to tip. I know that the servers get much more than servers at restaurants hourly. We were thinking $100 per server (if the service is good). Is this too little or too much?
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Sep 29, 2008 18:25
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WolfensteinBag posted:I have NO idea about finding an officiant, I'm actually having the same problem. I go to all these "Chicago" wedding boards asking advice, but they KEEP suggesting a couple companies that hire reverends to go out & do weddings for cheap, but we really want a super secular wedding, so we need a judge or justice of the peace. I have no freakin' clue how to find one. Is having a friend officiate an option? We don't want anything to do with a church, but we also didn't want a stranger performing our wedding. My fiance has a high school friend who is a beautiful writer, and, as he says, has always had a great intellectual interest in love as a topic. She will be perfect to write a simple ceremony for us. (There is no way I should be allowed to write my own vows. I am a painter, not a wordsmith.) I think I'm most excited about this aspect of our wedding. I don't know her super well, but we like each other, and I know that she cares deeply about my fiance and his happiness. Plus, she'll be getting married a month after us, so she'll be in just the right frame of mind. Edit: Offbeat Bride Tribe: I've created an account, but that's it. I'd probably be more into it if there was a goon group. zap actionsdower! fucked around with this message at 00:09 on Sep 30, 2008 |
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Sep 30, 2008 00:06
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Soooooo, since we're talking venues here. How practical does this place seem? http://www.oldmanscavechalets.com/hocking-hills-lodging-rentals/grande-butte.asp My family has stayed there before for family reunions so we're really familiar with the place. It has lots of space outdoors for a ceremony and I think for the reception it could easily be a casual cocktail/house party where people could lounge by the pool and hot tub or be inside with the pool table or on the deck enjoying the air. It's a three night minimum stay during the time we're looking to get married so we'd have plenty of time to prepare the site, I'd have a place to be that wasn't with my fiancee and there would be a place to stay for members of the wedding party who are from out of town but have to be there all three days to get ready, and it would take some of the financial burden off of them. The place sleeps like 20. So far, a lot of the places we've looked at have a lot of red tape about what you can do with alcohol and flowers and decorating and it's really unappealing, whereas here we'd do a lot of stuff ourselves and our families and friends are the types to just enjoy a good get-together, so super formal isn't necessary. Ooh, and Wi-fi!
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Sep 30, 2008 17:22
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zap actionsdower! posted:Is having a friend officiate an option? We don't want anything to do with a church, but we also didn't want a stranger performing our wedding. My fiance has a high school friend who is a beautiful writer, and, as he says, has always had a great intellectual interest in love as a topic. She will be perfect to write a simple ceremony for us. (There is no way I should be allowed to write my own vows. I am a painter, not a wordsmith.) Seconded; my sister will be marrying my fiance and I. =) The Universal Life Church is allowed to perform marriages in almost all of the US [not New York]; don't know about Canada, but it might be worth looking into. Be married by a cousin, or a buddy!
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Sep 30, 2008 18:12
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Susan B. Antimony posted:Seconded; my sister will be marrying my fiance and I. =) The Universal Life Church is allowed to perform marriages in almost all of the US [not New York]; don't know about Canada, but it might be worth looking into. Be married by a cousin, or a buddy! I know I read at some point early in the planning process that you need to have a right proper official marry you if you're getting married in Canada. ULC doesn't count, there's some sort of process required to get a license to marry people here. Unfortunately I can't find any information now, because apparently I'm failing at Google and only finding results about gay marriage. Which is cool, but not applicable!
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Sep 30, 2008 18:20
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innocent_deadly posted:Soooooo, since we're talking venues here. How practical does this place seem?
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Sep 30, 2008 19:02
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edit: apparently nothing to see here 
WolfensteinBag fucked around with this message at 04:07 on Oct 4, 2008 |
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Oct 4, 2008 03:01
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We just signed up for our wedding registry, and considering we are having about 100 guests, our subtotal for all items came up under 4k at Bed Bath Beyond. That's only 40$ per guest, seems reasonable we are spending about 200 a head(after all expenses, including our rings, flowers, reception, ceremony, invites etc) or 70 a head for just the reception. Anyone have any subtotals per guest they are looking at?
lord1234 fucked around with this message at 14:48 on Oct 6, 2008 |
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Oct 6, 2008 14:20
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Surely some of those guests are couples, though, so they'd only be getting you one gift, I'd expect. And if someone joins the registry late and all the $40 gifts are taken, they make be more likely to buy you something off list rather than trump up for a $60 or $80 gift. So I wouldn't get too upset if you don't get everything on your list, I think.
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Oct 6, 2008 15:15
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That's kind of a weird way to look at a registry... I'd say just register for the stuff you need rather than trying to come up with some sort of total based on how much you're spending on your guests? Anyway, I'd say you should expect to get 2-3 times as many people just giving you a card with a check inside instead of going out and purchasing you a blender off your registry.
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Oct 6, 2008 15:25
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lord1234 posted:We just signed up for our wedding registry, and considering we are having about 100 guests, our subtotal for all items came up under 4k at Bed Bath Beyond. That's only 40$ per guest, seems reasonable we are spending about 200 a head(after all expenses, including our rings, flowers, reception, ceremony, invites etc) or 70 a head for just the reception. Anyone have any subtotals per guest they are looking at? Well, the point of a registry and gifts is not so that you can recoup or "cover" whatever cost per head that you incur for the wedding/reception. In fact, it's not required that people give you a gift at your wedding at all - not even by Emily Post. Sure, many people do give gifts at a wedding, but it's not mandatory by any means. And there is definitely no rule whatsoever that says that a guests' gift has to be equal or greater in value to the amount that you spent on them. If you are spending so much on your wedding that you are looking to guests to pick up or "reimburse" you for the costs, you're spending too much. You (and possibly your parents) are hosting a party. You know who asks for cover charges or money to help pay for a party? Clubs and frat boys. Not weddings. Plus, that $40 per guest thing is an average - like others have already said, not all of your gifts on there cost $40. Some are more, some are less. If all of the gifts in a guests' price range are gone by the time they shop, they're likely to just give you a check, or buy something that wasn't on your list. A registry isn't a guarantee that guests will buy you these things and only these things - it's a convenience for guests and you, nothing more, nothing less. There's nothing that says you have to have a registry, and nothing that says that should a guest choose to give you a gift, it has to come from the registry. Some guests, if they don't find anything on the registry they particularly want to buy, may take what's on your registry as a clue towards your style. Some won't. You know what? They still took time out of their day at the least to shop for you and money out of their wallet to give something to you. That's still a really nice gesture, even if you hate what they gave you. Finally, not all guests will have the same price range. For example, if it were my cousin getting married, I'd spend between $100 and $125 on them - they're relatively close family. If it's a friend from college, probably around $50. Random person at work, $25-$50. My brother or sister, probably closer to $200. The amount of a gift is usually judged by your relationship to the recipient. Close family usually figures they have to give more, friends, less. Bear in mind, that's a general rule, and those totals are only relevant to the particular area of the country I live in. Your costs may vary. Either way, that's still not a reflection of the cost that any of those people spent on my at their weddings - it's simply a reflection of the fact that you tend to give bigger gifts to people you are closer to.
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Oct 6, 2008 16:02
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you're absolutely right, and I'm not quite saying that I expect every guest to do so...though I am saying it would be nice!
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Oct 6, 2008 16:25
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We did everything we could to keep the wedding cheap. My ring was only about 200 but it was a ruby since I prefer them over diamonds and his was only about 50. The dress was borrowed from his aunt but it was a 10k dress. I didn't spend a dime tho so that doesn't count. We had the wedding in his parents lovely backyard and did a "tea party" wedding which saved a LOT of money. The bridal party and groomsmen, we all did the decorations, put up the tent, all of that to save money too. My now sister-in-law made us a very lovely wedding cake as a gift so that didn't cost anything. We rented the sound equiptment and I just put the song list on my ipod and had a friend run that for us. Don't recall how much that ended up costing tho... Also the photographer/video guys were free because his brother was friends with them. Wow I'm just realizing how much money we must have saved on this thing! Our wedding total was about $7000 give or take. I wouldn't reccomend doing your wedding yourself like that tho. It made everything MUCH more stressful. ended up being a LOVELY wedding tho.
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Oct 6, 2008 18:44
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Etiquette question: I'm working on our guest list, slowly trying to get addresses and such together to plan for our invitations. But I'm confused about one point of etiquette - what the heck do you do with an unmarried couple who DON'T live together, and you're fairly equal friends with both of them? We could send a single invitation for both to one of them, but then the other might feel a bit slighted. Or separate to each, but if one arrives before the other and it's all like "We're reserving 1 seat in your name," then that might be a bit confusing. But if, in the worst case, they broke up before the wedding, I wouldn't want them to feel like the person who got the invitation was the only one we wanted there. Help
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Oct 6, 2008 23:45
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LittleCat posted:Etiquette question: I'm not an etiquette expert, but if you send both of them a save-the-date card, you can then call either of them after they receive the card, explain the situation, and then ask if they plan to attend together, and then send out the invitations accordingly
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Oct 7, 2008 01:36
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We're not doing save-the-dates (though I'm starting to reconsider that decision). But yah, it looks like this is only going to affect two or three couples so maybe I can just talk to them.
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Oct 7, 2008 02:23
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This is the dude for me! The photo galleries are impressive, the waterfall is fake but beautiful, the beach is across the street and the hippie minister provides parrots and a conch shell. The package prices are convincing. "When you first enter this Hawaii wedding dreamland through the ornate teak and copper gates, the first words out of your mouth will be something like "Wow" or "Oh my God". You will have just entered the tropical water garden which is almost a psychedelic experience. Yes, our parrots talk and love posing with the bride and groom." http://www.hawaiiweddings.com/ "In my very biased opinion, gay male hair and makeup artists just can't be beat! Consequently, we only use gay guys to make our brides look their best for their Hawaii weddings and photo shoots. Heck, our makeup artists make ugly men look like beautiful women so imagine what they can do for our brides. Check out some of the before and after images below." http://www.hawaiiweddings.com/hawaii-weddings-hair-makeup.html peanut fucked around with this message at 11:26 on Oct 8, 2008 |
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Oct 7, 2008 02:46
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