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limegrnxj
Apr 24, 2004



Click here for the full 1714x1200 image.



I got engaged the day after Christmas. We have been officially together since August 07, so almost a year and a half. We've known each other for 5 years. I think he did a great job picking out the ring!

It will be a second wedding for both of us. I'm not really sure what to do. If it was up to me, we would get married in the courthouse, with my parents and his there and that would be it. No open house or reception or any of that junk. But he really wants something more, so I guess there will be something. Lol. I also have to figure out a way to incorporate his 3 kids, I do definetly want to do that.

Anybody have any intersting second wedding stories or advice?

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Santclair
Aug 6, 2006

by angerbotSD

limegrnxj posted:

Anybody have any intersting second wedding stories or advice?

My uncle is currently in his second marriage and it went just great. Rather than do the big ole church wedding again (he's not religious but our family is Catholic, she's Jewish, it would have been a problem anyways) they had a civil service in one of those 'five minute wedding' places in Vegas. It was cheap, it was REALLY fun (we stayed in Circus Circus because there were gonna be a whole bunch of kids along) and ten years later they're still married, which is twice as long as his first marriage to the crazy bitch lasted. I adore my aunt, and everything is generally pretty awesome.

the one problem they had (that I can remember, I was like 9 at the time) is certain members of both families were comparing both the ceremony and the spouse to the previous ones, occasionally unfavorably. If that happens, don't pay it any mind; this is YOUR wedding, not the ex's. Don't feel like you have to live up to whatever standard the previous wedding set. Do as you please, and if the gossips don't like it, well, gently caress 'em.

Lady googooGaGa
Nov 3, 2006

Are you freaking kidding me!?
We were together about 2 years.

LittleCat
Oct 24, 2004

twinkle, twinkle, little bat

limegrnxj posted:

Anybody have any intersting second wedding stories or advice?

My dad just got remarried last year. They had a small ceremony with a few close family members from each side, and their close friends, probably about 12 people total. It wasn't super traditional, and it was at the marriage commissioner's house, but it was lovely. Then we all went to a really nice local restaurant to celebrate and make speeches and toasts and all that jazz.

Then, about a month later, they had a really nice catered party for probably about 30-40 people. Again, nothing super fancy, but it let their friends and loved ones celebrate with them, which is something that people really want to do when people get married :) They had a friend DJ, had some great food and wine, and again it was somewhat low key, but really fun.

I don't think people expect quite as much formality in a second wedding, which is a great excuse to do something you'll really enjoy rather than whatever you feel tradition demands.

limegrnxj
Apr 24, 2004

Santclair posted:

the one problem they had (that I can remember, I was like 9 at the time) is certain members of both families were comparing both the ceremony and the spouse to the previous ones, occasionally unfavorably. If that happens, don't pay it any mind; this is YOUR wedding, not the ex's. Don't feel like you have to live up to whatever standard the previous wedding set. Do as you please, and if the gossips don't like it, well, gently caress 'em.

This is what I'm afraid of I think. All my nosy rear end, gossipy relatives, showing up, pretending to be nice, and then being all catty behind my back. But I guess I'll have to (wo)man up and deal with it. I also come from a family where I'm only like the second person in most of the entire extended family to get divorced. I guess I'm just afraid of being judged. But, as my fiancee points out, it's not about me, it's about giving people a chance to congratulate us. I think we will wind up doing something very similar to what littlecat posted. :) Eventually. We haven't even picked a month yet. Or a season really. lol. No rush.

l_th
Aug 9, 2005
wooooooo ring is here!

I'm planning to ask maybe in the next few weeks...I want to avoid a February/valentines cliche

Here's a quick pic


Click here for the full 600x800 image.

tvb
Dec 22, 2004

We don't understand Chinese, dude!

CrackSpider posted:

To everybody: How long were you with your significant other before you/he proposed? Not many of you shared that information, and I'm genuinely curious. :)

We were together about 3 1/2 years before I proposed, and we were engaged just over 2 years before eloping. We'll be 6 years this April.

MarshallX
Apr 13, 2004
Does anyone have experience with 2 maids of honor?

My fiance is having a Matron of Honor and a Maid of Honor because both of them mentioned they'd be irked if they weren't chosen and are equally best friends with my fiance....I just don't know how this works with pictures etc.

LittleCat
Oct 24, 2004

twinkle, twinkle, little bat

MarshallX posted:

Does anyone have experience with 2 maids of honor?

My fiance is having a Matron of Honor and a Maid of Honor because both of them mentioned they'd be irked if they weren't chosen and are equally best friends with my fiance....I just don't know how this works with pictures etc.

I don't have experience with it, but I don't see any real problems with pictures or anything else. The photographer can take pictures of her with both of them, and her with each of them alone. There's no specific rules for what pictures need to be done, and how - just some guidelines to make sure you don't miss out on any special moments or groupings.

As far as the rest of it goes, do they both know this is happening? Are they okay with it? If your fiancée hasn't asked them yet, she should make sure that when she asks them they both know exactly what's going on. Otherwise it'll be a letdown for them when they realize they're sharing the role. But there's no reason they can't cooperate within the role - for pretty much anything they're responsible for, two heads are better than one. :)

Lady googooGaGa
Nov 3, 2006

Are you freaking kidding me!?

MarshallX posted:

Does anyone have experience with 2 maids of honor?

My fiance is having a Matron of Honor and a Maid of Honor because both of them mentioned they'd be irked if they weren't chosen and are equally best friends with my fiance....I just don't know how this works with pictures etc.

Good luck. I'm not saying that to be a prick, but if they both already mentioned being 'irked' they're going to battle over everything anyway. I almost had two, until one started dating a supreme rear end who made her get rid of all her friends. It was a blessing in disguise. They fought about everything, who would walk first, who was going to plan the shower, etc. Once girl B was out of the picture, the rest of the bridesmaids all get along just fine.

I don't know how it'll work with pictures, but I imagine it'll go Matron-maid-bridesmaids. If they fight about who is Matron vs. Maid pick based on who the bride has known longest, or who is older. Make that the rule and tell them if they don't like it neither of them has to be in it.

MarshallX
Apr 13, 2004

LittleCat posted:

I don't have experience with it, but I don't see any real problems with pictures or anything else. The photographer can take pictures of her with both of them, and her with each of them alone. There's no specific rules for what pictures need to be done, and how - just some guidelines to make sure you don't miss out on any special moments or groupings.

As far as the rest of it goes, do they both know this is happening? Are they okay with it? If your fiancée hasn't asked them yet, she should make sure that when she asks them they both know exactly what's going on. Otherwise it'll be a letdown for them when they realize they're sharing the role. But there's no reason they can't cooperate within the role - for pretty much anything they're responsible for, two heads are better than one.

Yeah they both know, one lives 5 hours away and probably won't be involved much but wants the title. Personally I don't think she deserves it.


ElanoreMcMantis posted:

Good luck. I'm not saying that to be a prick, but if they both already mentioned being 'irked' they're going to battle over everything anyway. I almost had two, until one started dating a supreme rear end who made her get rid of all her friends. It was a blessing in disguise. They fought about everything, who would walk first, who was going to plan the shower, etc. Once girl B was out of the picture, the rest of the bridesmaids all get along just fine.

I don't know how it'll work with pictures, but I imagine it'll go Matron-maid-bridesmaids. If they fight about who is Matron vs. Maid pick based on who the bride has known longest, or who is older. Make that the rule and tell them if they don't like it neither of them has to be in it.

I'm hoping they don't fight over orders and such but having 2 ladies planning the shower wouldn't be so bad...

Santclair
Aug 6, 2006

by angerbotSD

limegrnxj posted:

This is what I'm afraid of I think. All my nosy rear end, gossipy relatives, showing up, pretending to be nice, and then being all catty behind my back. But I guess I'll have to (wo)man up and deal with it. I also come from a family where I'm only like the second person in most of the entire extended family to get divorced. I guess I'm just afraid of being judged. But, as my fiancee points out, it's not about me, it's about giving people a chance to congratulate us. I think we will wind up doing something very similar to what littlecat posted. :) Eventually. We haven't even picked a month yet. Or a season really. lol. No rush.

I wouldn't neccessarily say it's not about you at all. It's your wedding, it's the ceremony in which you are joining with your fiancee in a million different ways and trying to cement your relationship for good. It doesn't always work out that way and it's unfortunate that circumstances led to you not staying in your first marriage, but that's ok.

Good luck anyways, sounds like you guys are gonna have a lot of fun. I'm only 19 so I'm nowhere near being married yet, so I have to sit and listen to everyone else talk about their marriages and dream.

Speaking of age, my grandparents just celebrated their 70th anniversary (they're 86 and 89). :aaaaa:

Papercut
Aug 24, 2005
We were together for a little over 4 years before I proposed, a little over 1 year living together.

Earlier in the thread, I asked for advice about getting the dress made in Thailand. For anyone curious, we got back from our trip last week and it was really successful. We were there for a Thai wedding, so we just asked the bride where she had her dress made.

My fiance showed the seamstress a picture of the dress she wanted (this Jim Hjelm dress), and she said she could have it done in 3 days for $600 including materials :monocle:. Unfortunately the seamstress didn't have any lace that my fiance really liked, so she just bought 10 yards of silk instead (for a little under $200). She took the silk to a local seamstress over the weekend who quoted her an $800 price for 8 fittings and the dress using our silk, plus the cost of whatever lace my fiance chooses.

MockTurtle
Mar 9, 2006
Once I was a real Turtle.

MarshallX posted:

I'm hoping they don't fight over orders and such but having 2 ladies planning the shower wouldn't be so bad...

Seriously this. I am the maid of honor for my friend's wedding and I have no clue what I'm doing since every decision about the May wedding is way up the air (due to parent-zillas). I wish she had chosen another person to help me out because I'm afraid it will turn out disappointing!

LittleCat
Oct 24, 2004

twinkle, twinkle, little bat

MockTurtle posted:

Seriously this. I am the maid of honor for my friend's wedding and I have no clue what I'm doing since every decision about the May wedding is way up the air (due to parent-zillas). I wish she had chosen another person to help me out because I'm afraid it will turn out disappointing!

Does she not have any bridesmaids? If she does, get them to help with the shower planning.

I'm just having my maid of honor, with no other attendants, so my mom and I will be helping her out with the shower planning. It's a bit much to put on one person, in my opinion.

UnfortunateSexFart
May 18, 2008

𒃻 𒌓ð’‰𒋫 𒆷ð’€𒅅𒆷
𒆠𒂖 𒌉 𒌫 ð’®𒈠𒈾𒅗 𒂉 𒉡𒌒𒂉𒊑


We went to a wedding fair yesterday and it made me go from the calm collected one to the "oh poo poo we're getting married" one and vice versa.

We were talking about a really small wedding, like 10 guests each, and yesterday I heard her inviting her friend's parents. wtf

Also yesterday she was looking at venues and found a place that she likes in Burnaby, which I didn't like at all. Getting married in Burnaby for us would be like a couple living in Manhattan getting married in New Jersey.

sigh

LittleCat
Oct 24, 2004

twinkle, twinkle, little bat

leidend posted:

We went to a wedding fair yesterday and it made me go from the calm collected one to the "oh poo poo we're getting married" one and vice versa.

We were talking about a really small wedding, like 10 guests each, and yesterday I heard her inviting her friend's parents. wtf

Also yesterday she was looking at venues and found a place that she likes in Burnaby, which I didn't like at all. Getting married in Burnaby for us would be like a couple living in Manhattan getting married in New Jersey.

sigh

Burnaby isn't the Jersey of the Lower Mainland, and do you have some sort of giant stick up your rear end or something? Christ.

I was going to give you friendly advice, but instead I'll just suggest that maybe you should learn to talk to your fiancée about your wedding plans. I hear communication is an important part of marriage or some poo poo, but what do I know.

UnfortunateSexFart
May 18, 2008

𒃻 𒌓ð’‰𒋫 𒆷ð’€𒅅𒆷
𒆠𒂖 𒌉 𒌫 ð’®𒈠𒈾𒅗 𒂉 𒉡𒌒𒂉𒊑


LittleCat posted:

Burnaby isn't the Jersey of the Lower Mainland, and do you have some sort of giant stick up your rear end or something? Christ.

I was going to give you friendly advice, but instead I'll just suggest that maybe you should learn to talk to your fiancée about your wedding plans. I hear communication is an important part of marriage or some poo poo, but what do I know.

Thanks for the useless reply. I'm sorry you live in Burnaby and I hurt your feelings but it is not exactly an ideal wedding spot.

I am talking to my fiance. Please don't respond unless you have something useful to contribute.

LittleCat
Oct 24, 2004

twinkle, twinkle, little bat

leidend posted:

Thanks for the useless reply. I'm sorry you live in Burnaby and I hurt your feelings but it is not exactly an ideal wedding spot.

I am talking to my fiance. Please don't respond unless you have something useful to contribute.

I don't live in Burnaby, and seriously, you're an idiot. It's a fine area to get married, as is most of the Lower Mainland - I'd skip Surrey or PoCo and further east, and Richmond, but otherwise there isn't anything wrong with most of the city. There aren't so many really awesome venues around here that ditching every option outside of, what? Downtown or North Vancouver? is going to be a wise choice, for planning or finances. Especially since it sounds like you're doing it because you've got some sort of bug up your rear end about the suburbs.

Edit: Also, just to be clear, Surrey is the Jersey of Vancouver. Burnaby is more like the Queens of Vancouver or something, although this is a pretty bad analogy to start with!

LittleCat fucked around with this message at 23:37 on Jan 12, 2009

Zombie Lincoln
Sep 7, 2006
The master of all things GRRM!

"His manhood glistened wetly..."

CagedLiberty posted:

Exactly five years, he did it on our anniversary :)

Right about Five years here as well. Off two weeks after we unofficially started seeing each other, but two weeks before we officially started seeing each other. I proposed at midnight on New Years. We have lived together for about the same amount of time. I'm 26, she's 28.

General advice to no one in particular: Do what works for you. Age-wise, length of relationship-wise, just be sure you are happy. Remember, ideally, this is the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with.

squirrellypoo
Feb 8, 2003

Papercut posted:

We were together for a little over 4 years before I proposed, a little over 1 year living together.
This was us, too. Though for us, the year living together was after about 3 years of him staying at mine and living out of a backpack but not officially "living there" while we saved up our deposit and spent 9 months boat shopping.

Our wedding's not til September, but I've quite suddenly come down with some really serious health problems that mean I'll just be happy to BE THERE on Sept 19. Really, gently caress losing weight, gently caress the dress, gently caress the hair, gently caress the table decorations. If I'm able to stand and maybe do the first dance, I'll be ecstatic. We're going to carry on with the reservation until we know otherwise (since it means losing a ton of money), but I'm going to ask a friend of ours (who just got married in August and is super organised) to act as my wedding planner over the next few months as I can't deal with all the planning on top of the hospital visits, medication, and treatments. :( But I'm enjoying still following this thread as it fulfils my need for frivolous fluff right now.

Zalakwe
Jun 4, 2007
Likes Cake, Hates Hamsters



exactduckwoman posted:

I think I might get impatient and be always waiting if I knew it was coming for several weeks/months.

You might get impatient anyway! My fiancé did. Any surprise element was eventually blown when we went away for a romantic weekend that I planned to propose on then couldn’t, as I spent the entire week before hand running around madly after a false alarm at work. I wasn’t happy going through with it until I had spoken to her dad so let the plan drop.

When we got back she spent three days looking at me like a scolded puppy until eventually I had to ask her what was wrong (even though I knew fine well). She told me straight up and no amount of platitudes would assuage her so I eventually had to say I would have proposed on the weekend away had I had time to sort a couple of things out beforehand. I proposed a month later.

The whole thing was really getting to me for those three days in an "oh crap I might have duffed this up" sort of way, now it's hilarious. Five and a half years so I should have manned up sooner anyway. Moral of the story is that outside of shakespeare girls in love tend to get what they want.

We are getting married in October and are very happy (Try not to be impatient, we don't handle it well!).

Zalakwe fucked around with this message at 01:24 on Jan 15, 2009

Walked
Apr 14, 2003

I am engaged as of last weekend, and we're shooting for an October wedding.

The question I've got, is what the traditional response to inviting people from the office? She thinks I should invite my boss, and leave it at that. I dont particularly want to, but it wouldnt be the end of the world (quite frankly, its going to be difficult to miff me on related things).

It's an office of about 50. I know everyone here fairly well, but not so much on a personal level (beyond occasional smalltalk).

That, and the location is about 3hours away from where the office is.

I'm leaning towards a token invite for the boss and his wife, and leaving it at that. Is this a good approach?

edit: I do care greatly about this job, and quite like all my coworkers and do try to keep my work relationships in good standing!


edit2: Together about five years, owned a condo for one prior to proposal.

Walked fucked around with this message at 23:02 on Jan 14, 2009

LittleCat
Oct 24, 2004

twinkle, twinkle, little bat

Walked posted:

I am engaged as of last weekend, and we're shooting for an October wedding.

The question I've got, is what the traditional response to inviting people from the office? She thinks I should invite my boss, and leave it at that. I dont particularly want to, but it wouldnt be the end of the world (quite frankly, its going to be difficult to miff me on related things).

It's an office of about 50. I know everyone here fairly well, but not so much on a personal level (beyond occasional smalltalk).

That, and the location is about 3hours away from where the office is.

I'm leaning towards a token invite for the boss and his wife, and leaving it at that. Is this a good approach?

edit: I do care greatly about this job, and quite like all my coworkers and do try to keep my work relationships in good standing!

From what I've read, that sounds like a totally acceptable plan. When I looked into this it was suggested that either you invite your whole office, none of your office, or just your bosses - anything in between would be likely to cause drama. So it sounds like you're on the right track.

My office is pretty small, but I'm not sure if I should invite more people that just my bosses. I only work here part time, and I'm not that close to any of my coworkers (though they all seem like lovely people). And we're a good percentage above our hoped-for attendance number already.

SnatchRabbit
Feb 23, 2006

by sebmojo
I've recently cobbled together a decent chunk of change for a ring. My lady and I will be traveling to Florence Italy sometime in the coming months and I was wondering if there any specific sites that might lend themselves to a memorable proposal. I know that you can pretty much throw a rock and hit something historical in that city, but I was wondering if you all had any specific ideas.

ih8ualot
May 20, 2004
I like turkey and ham sandwiches

CrackSpider posted:

EDIT: To everybody: How long were you with your significant other before you/he proposed? Not many of you shared that information, and I'm genuinely curious. :)

I proposed on the third anniversary.

WolfensteinBag
Aug 7, 2003

So it was all your work?

Emilar posted:

We were together exactly 4 years for the proposal (anniversary). We'd also been living together for a little over 2 years.

Holy crap, hi there relationship twin! That is our EXACT same time frame! haha Although, we'd been living together more like 3 years. But we also got engaged at our 4 year anniversary (a few days afterwords, when we celebrated).

Well, our wedding's actually coming along! I put a deposit on my DRESS last Sunday! :dance: I love love love it! I'm trying to avoid my fiance seeing it, though, so I'm not posting it. We also just put our deposit down on our venue, and we're meeting with our photographer this weekend! I'm so excited!! It feels nice to finally get started with everything!

Oh, also, I didn't ignore all the Save the Date advice, I'm just taking a break from it so I can look at it fresh. :)

Dr Scoofles
Dec 6, 2004

Oh my, I can officially join in this thread. My boyfriend proposed to me two days ago and I said yes. He was saving it for our 2nd anniversary which is on the 3rd Feb but he couldn't wait any longer. I also got a sapphire ring, proving he did listen to all the hints I dropped :)

Some people are going to say that just shy of 2 years is too early to get engaged. Every couple is different. My parents got married after knowing each other a few months and are happy 30 years on. My sister got engaged after being with her boyfriend for 6 years. Who is to say what the right amount of time is?

As my sister is getting married this May I went round her house to rifle through her wedding magazines. I have been told so far by Weddings Magazine that the average cost of a wedding here is £20,000 (about $30,000). They quote about £2000 as the average spend on the dress. How do people spend this much? My sister had her dress hand made to her exact measurements from scratch out of silk by a skilled dress maker and ended up paying £800. This included all her consultations and fitting sessions as well as the cost of the fabric. I admit I am nieve when it comes to the wedding industry, but I can only conclude shops stick an extra grand onto the price of a dress because Weddings Magazine tells us brides to be thats the right price to pay.

jomiel
Feb 19, 2008

nya
Together for 8 years (from freshmen summer), lived together after college.

Not much wedding planning yet though :( I have so many ideas EXCEPT the venue and the date. :sigh:

WolfensteinBag
Aug 7, 2003

So it was all your work?

Dr Scoofles posted:

As my sister is getting married this May I went round her house to rifle through her wedding magazines. I have been told so far by Weddings Magazine that the average cost of a wedding here is £20,000 (about $30,000). They quote about £2000 as the average spend on the dress. How do people spend this much? My sister had her dress hand made to her exact measurements from scratch out of silk by a skilled dress maker and ended up paying £800. This included all her consultations and fitting sessions as well as the cost of the fabric. I admit I am nieve when it comes to the wedding industry, but I can only conclude shops stick an extra grand onto the price of a dress because Weddings Magazine tells us brides to be thats the right price to pay.

I think people tend to pay a lot just because they can. Some of it is laziness and/or not knowing to shop around, and some of it is because all the little things start to add up, and if you want ALL the little things, you're going to have to pay for it! Some people think solving problems means throwing money at it, not thinking creatively to come up with a solution. However, from the people I've talked to, it seems like people are being a lot smarter these days about what they spend, and are working really hard to get breaks wherever they can.

As far as the dress is concerned, yeah shops do mark things up, but I think part of it is the hours it takes to make the dresses and the detailing that go into them. If you get a lot of intricate beadwork and embroidery done, or if the draping is complex and made out of expensive fabrics, it's going to cost you more. After going to shops and checking things out, I can say that yes, in general you can see the difference between a $500, $1000, and $2000 dress. That said, the price doesn't always gurantee you anything. I wound up getting my dress for $590 (after an awesome discount! :dance:) but it's still as beautiful as some of the more expensive dresses I tried on. I guess it depends on what you're looking for, and whether you're willing to shop around.

Suave Fedora
Jun 10, 2004
We budgeted for $11k but spent $15k. This was two years ago and the debt is still hurting our disposable income. My wife was fairly aggressive on finding the best deals around and did some of the things like the party favors and invitations on her own to save money.

In the end what pushed us over was me not budging on the grade of alcohol being served (I didn't want to serve our guests the poo poo in plastic bottles) and the photographer, who ended up being a huge disappointment anyway. Skip on the video if you can help it, nobody's going to watch that poo poo except for maybe your kids thirty years from now.

My wife got her dress on eBay. Despite how that sounds, she was beautiful in it and fit her perfectly, and it only added $300 to the budget.

Suave Fedora fucked around with this message at 15:15 on Jan 15, 2009

Crash BandiCute
Nov 8, 2004

Dona Nobis Pacem

Dr Scoofles posted:

Oh my, I can officially join in this thread. My boyfriend proposed to me two days ago and I said yes. He was saving it for our 2nd anniversary which is on the 3rd Feb but he couldn't wait any longer. I also got a sapphire ring, proving he did listen to all the hints I dropped :)

Some people are going to say that just shy of 2 years is too early to get engaged. Every couple is different. My parents got married after knowing each other a few months and are happy 30 years on. My sister got engaged after being with her boyfriend for 6 years. Who is to say what the right amount of time is?

As my sister is getting married this May I went round her house to rifle through her wedding magazines. I have been told so far by Weddings Magazine that the average cost of a wedding here is £20,000 (about $30,000). They quote about £2000 as the average spend on the dress. How do people spend this much? My sister had her dress hand made to her exact measurements from scratch out of silk by a skilled dress maker and ended up paying £800. This included all her consultations and fitting sessions as well as the cost of the fabric. I admit I am nieve when it comes to the wedding industry, but I can only conclude shops stick an extra grand onto the price of a dress because Weddings Magazine tells us brides to be thats the right price to pay.

Congratulations!

Have you picked a date? Wedding magazines are quite poisonous sometimes when it comes to things like that, they can make you feel that you need to buy things that aren't really necessary.

LittleCat
Oct 24, 2004

twinkle, twinkle, little bat

Dr Scoofles posted:

As my sister is getting married this May I went round her house to rifle through her wedding magazines. I have been told so far by Weddings Magazine that the average cost of a wedding here is £20,000 (about $30,000). They quote about £2000 as the average spend on the dress. How do people spend this much? My sister had her dress hand made to her exact measurements from scratch out of silk by a skilled dress maker and ended up paying £800. This included all her consultations and fitting sessions as well as the cost of the fabric. I admit I am nieve when it comes to the wedding industry, but I can only conclude shops stick an extra grand onto the price of a dress because Weddings Magazine tells us brides to be thats the right price to pay.

I planned on spending less than $1000 on my dress (Canadian). I saw a few pretty dresses that made my short list for around $900, and I was pretty satisfied. Then I tried on a few more, fell head over heels for one, and couldn't say no. After taxes it was about $1500.

Of course, that seems to be the story of my life, budget-wise. We're going to stay under the $15,000 mark I originally planned for, I think, but on an item-by-item basis I seem to go just a little over on virtually everything. I plan for US prices, or I forget to take taxes/tips into account, or we need a little more of this or that than I'd planned for... and it all adds up like crazy. Part of that is simply impatience. Like WB said, if you take the time and shop around, you can save a lot of money. I hate dealing with people on the phone and spending all my time meeting vendors, so once I find a vendor that's recommended and within the budget I book them, even if they're at the top of the budgeted amount.

MarshallX
Apr 13, 2004
Here's our budget breakdown so far...in CAD. Anything you see that looks overpriced let me know! Also if I have forgotten anything..

Reception Hall: Free with over 150 guests.
Church: $200 donation - Done
Food: $4,950.00 (33$/plate) - Done
Cake: $100.00
Booze: $3,000.00
Brides Dress: $1,100.00 - Done
Photographer: $1,150.00 - Done
DJ: $500.00
Flowers/Decorations: $1,750.00 - Booked
Transportation: $500.00
Favors: $375.00
Invitations: $250.00 - Done
Wedding Bands: $1000,00
Marriage License: $100.00
Hair/Makeup: $100.00
Wedding Party Gifts: $500.00 ($50/person)

Honeymoon: $4,000.00

Total: $19,575.00

Our budget was $15,000.00 but with the honeymoon we went over..

MarshallX fucked around with this message at 21:15 on Jan 15, 2009

LittleCat
Oct 24, 2004

twinkle, twinkle, little bat
That all looks pretty good, though what are you doing for cake? 100 bucks seems super low.

Also, let me just give you a list of what it looks like you might be missing. You may well have plans for all these things, but just in case:

Your clothes, her hair/makeup/shoes/clutch/jewellery, wedding rings, gifts for the bridal party, gifts for your parents, anything you'll need to pay for for the wedding party (ie can they all cover their dresses and tuxes), music for the ceremony (church organist, maybe?), marriage license (100 bucks here in BC, donno where you are), envelopes/postage for invitations and rsvps...

I think that's about all I can think of that you haven't explicitly mentioned. You've gotten good prices on most things, from my point of view.

MarshallX
Apr 13, 2004

LittleCat posted:

That all looks pretty good, though what are you doing for cake? 100 bucks seems super low.

Also, let me just give you a list of what it looks like you might be missing. You may well have plans for all these things, but just in case:

Your clothes, her hair/makeup/shoes/clutch/jewellery, wedding rings, gifts for the bridal party, gifts for your parents, anything you'll need to pay for for the wedding party (ie can they all cover their dresses and tuxes), music for the ceremony (church organist, maybe?), marriage license (100 bucks here in BC, donno where you are), envelopes/postage for invitations and rsvps...

I think that's about all I can think of that you haven't explicitly mentioned. You've gotten good prices on most things, from my point of view.

Thanks, all added.

Would the honeymoon be considered the wedding?

MarshallX fucked around with this message at 21:24 on Jan 15, 2009

LittleCat
Oct 24, 2004

twinkle, twinkle, little bat

MarshallX posted:

Thanks, all added.

Would the honeymoon be considered the wedding?

We're not including it in our budgeting, but that's mainly because we have no idea what we're doing for one. We can't afford it right now so we've added it to our online registry, if people give us money we'll go somewhere awesome, if not we'll save up and go somewhere in a year or so.

Gravitee
Nov 20, 2003

I just put money in the Magic Fingers!

Dr Scoofles posted:

As my sister is getting married this May I went round her house to rifle through her wedding magazines. I have been told so far by Weddings Magazine that the average cost of a wedding here is £20,000 (about $30,000). They quote about £2000 as the average spend on the dress. How do people spend this much? My sister had her dress hand made to her exact measurements from scratch out of silk by a skilled dress maker and ended up paying £800. This included all her consultations and fitting sessions as well as the cost of the fabric. I admit I am nieve when it comes to the wedding industry, but I can only conclude shops stick an extra grand onto the price of a dress because Weddings Magazine tells us brides to be thats the right price to pay.

Congratulations and welcome to the thread. Magazines are great for ideas, but by no means are the gospel. My first piece of advice would be to figure out what you don't want to skimp on. Some people decide that they want a huge cake and the best photographer. Then figure out ways you can save on other things like having a handy sister-in-law decorate your pews/aisles/arch.

Don't think that you *HAVE* to have everything that you see in the magazines either. I went with very simple centerpieces which I posted earlier in this thread. Big centerpieces are nice, but then your guests have to talk through them. I didn't have cake. I had pie and I know several people who went the cupcake route. I didn't do save the dates, aisle runner or have a formal guest book. There's several things you can do yourself if you have lots of time and lots of many crafty friends. I had two people who decorated day of and I owe them a lifetime of steak dinners.

Things add up, especially during the last few weeks. Off the top of my head I bought:
Lingerie and garter to go with the dress $60
Gifts for bridesmaids $400
Kissing bowl $10
Materials for escort cards and other misc. paper goods $40
Shoes $80
Hair and makeup $200
That's not even including all of the final payments on the venue, photographer, etc. The more you can do early will save you $$ in the long run.

Also, we got engaged after dating a little under two years and living together for one of those years.

LittleCat
Oct 24, 2004

twinkle, twinkle, little bat
I would strongly suggest that people who budget for weddings make an extra column in their budget for "assorted extra things" - especially if they're the types to ever engage in retail therapy.

I decided early on that we were going to spend a lot on the photographer and less in several other areas. Then I started getting uptight about the budget, and stopped spending on anything other than necessities. After a while of doing that, I got so fed up with wedding planning that I just wanted to say gently caress it and elope.

I fixed that in two ways. I asked my fiancé to actively take some ownership of the wedding planning, and he's wonderful so he came through. Now I feel like it's our plan instead of something that's all on me, and that's fantastic. I also decided to use some of the money I have saved for extra wedding expenses on some extra expenses that I really want - posted some of them above. A cute clutch, materials for a few crafty projects (I'm working on a card box right now, since Michaels is having a big sale on much of its scrapbooking paper, and it's coming along nicely), some nice details for the reception. Stuff that will make me happy, stuff that makes me feel like I'm making progress. It's made a huge difference in my attitude. I'm not as stressed about the money any more (ironically) and I'm more excited about the wedding and getting things ready for it. It's money that was earmarked for the wedding anyhow, and as we get closer I know about how much I'm going to be on the hook for, so it's all affordable. And it's so much nicer to be able to have a few nice things that aren't just the same old stuff everyone has for weddings.

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WestofEden
Jun 28, 2008

I can't tell my left from right sometimes.
I have to agree, 100 budgeted for a cake won't get you much. Based on your food budget, it looks like you're having upwards of 120 people, so unless you're getting a really plain sheet cake... I might reconsider. I work in an office, and have the monthly birthday cake order delegated to me. A 1/4 sheet that serves 25 people is $44 from the bakery we use, which as I can tell is nice, but by no means the most high end place ever, and that's just the plain cake. I ordered a fancier cake for a coworker's baby shower with fondant and the usual trimmings, again, only to serve 25 or so people, and that came to 150. I would just keep that in mind if you are going the more traditional wedding cake route, it's going to cost more than you think. Good luck and congratulations!

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