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Not sure if this has been asked/answered or if this is even the right thread, but here goes: I am the best man is a wedding next week - first time - and I am wondering what type of gifts the best man usually gets for the groom. The guy is my best friend but has been living in Australia for the past six years so neither of us are completely up to date and each others likes and dislikes. I am calling his fiance tonight (drat time difference) to get some ideas but would love to hear great gifts that some of you have either given or received. Thanks in advance.
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Mar 26, 2009 16:55
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GoreJess posted:I'm confused by your question. Are you asking if a couple should be allowed to bring along an extra guest (like a 3rd person)? If so, I can't imagine anyone would do that and it's definitely not something that you should let happen. If you're part of a couple, you don't bring random friends to weddings.... Yeah, the only people in my guest list that are bringing friends that my fiance and I don't know well are our parents. I'd be quite surprised if a couple wanted to bring a friend. And for reference for the other side of things, we limited our +1s to people we were fairly certain were in long term relationships but didn't know their partners at all (if we knew or could find out the name of their partner, that person was on the invite of course). And we've taken some flack for it, but our reasoning is that a) everyone that's coming will know lots of people, so they're not going to be bored. b) by far the majority of single people are quite young, and if we give them the chance to bring a guest they'll probably feel they have to do so and bring a random friend or whatever. But to compromise with our consciences, our online RSVP system lets single guests know that if they want to bring a guest they can just give us a call and let us know.
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Mar 26, 2009 17:25
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Enderr posted:Not sure if this has been asked/answered or if this is even the right thread, but here goes: I am the best man is a wedding next week - first time - and I am wondering what type of gifts the best man usually gets for the groom. The guy is my best friend but has been living in Australia for the past six years so neither of us are completely up to date and each others likes and dislikes. I am calling his fiance tonight (drat time difference) to get some ideas but would love to hear great gifts that some of you have either given or received. Thanks in advance. I've never been to a wedding where the best man gets the groom anything besides the usual couple's present. Usually it's the other way around - the couple gives presents to their attendants.
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Mar 26, 2009 17:41
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Which wedding planner book is the best or you've liked?
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Mar 26, 2009 18:21
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I picked up a couple books early on, most of which were pretty terrible. I found online resources worlds better. Recently I picked up Real Simple Weddings 2009, and it's a pretty good buy. It's in magazine format, but it's got minimal advertising, lots of useful checklists and FAQs, and info for pretty much every step of the planning process. And Enderr: I agree with Gravitee. Really, your gift to the groom should be taking your responsibilities seriously. Other than that, just give the couple a wedding gift like anyone else would.
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Mar 26, 2009 18:29
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squirrellypoo posted:I'd love to find some UK statistics, actually, but Google's not helping turn up anything, really. It's just purely my own observation, really. I've been to about 5-6 weddings over the past few years (only a couple from my circle of friends) and all but one bride kept her own surname. I'm not posh enough to know double-barrelled people. E18 representing  I guess it is all down to who you know. My sister-in-law, a few friends, 2 cousins and my mum all took their husband's name. National statistics certainly would be interesting.
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Mar 26, 2009 18:39
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GoreJess posted:I'm confused by your question. Are you asking if a couple should be allowed to bring along an extra guest (like a 3rd person)? If so, I can't imagine anyone would do that and it's definitely not something that you should let happen. If you're part of a couple, you don't bring random friends to weddings.... Hm, not exactly. Here's a better explanation, Family friends invited w/ their family allowed to come - No additional guests allowed Married Couples - No additional guests allowed Couples living together - No additional guests allowed Long-term couples, not living together - No additional guests allowed Single invited guests - +1 guests allowed Is this inappropriate?
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Mar 26, 2009 21:08
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Logical Llama posted:Hm, not exactly. Here's a better explanation, Looks right to me though if the "Family friends with family invited" includes a single mother or father or an adult child, they should probably be allowed to bring a date too. I mean, it's all about how you address the invite really. For example, lots of people might group long-term couples, not living together the same as single invited guests and just address the invite to the person they know best and allow them a +1 vs. naming both names on the invite. I have a large family and god knows, I never really know what the relationship status of my cousins are unless they're married. If you're closer to one member of the couple, sometimes this also makes sense just in case they break up before the wedding so they can mark +1 but then bring whoever vs. you specifically putting their significant other's name on the invite. If you're putting two names on the invite card, you're essentially just giving a name to their "+1" vs. leaving it anonymous.
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Mar 26, 2009 21:39
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LittleCat posted:I picked up a couple books early on, most of which were pretty terrible. I found online resources worlds better. Recently I picked up Real Simple Weddings 2009, and it's a pretty good buy. It's in magazine format, but it's got minimal advertising, lots of useful checklists and FAQs, and info for pretty much every step of the planning process. Bridal Bargains, 9th Edition: Secrets to Throwing a Fantastic Wedding on a Realistic Budget by Denise Fields and Alan Fields See if they have it in your local library.
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Mar 26, 2009 23:55
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teacherkate posted:Bridal Bargains, 9th Edition: Secrets to Throwing a Fantastic Wedding on a Realistic Budget This, the Real Simple wedding, and Martha Stewart for cute DIY stuff. Other magazines were pretty skimpy on content and reality. Also there is Here Comes the Guide for locations, but you can just go to their website and get the same thing, plus the website is more up to date.
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Mar 27, 2009 01:19
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teacherkate posted:Bridal Bargains, 9th Edition: Secrets to Throwing a Fantastic Wedding on a Realistic Budget I bought this, and it REALLY helped. Once I realized what a scam the wedding industry is, I have done things a lot smarter. Question: the fiance and I are having a small wedding, family only (with one exception). His parents are divorced, and his dad remarried while his mom is still single. Since my fiance's mom is on pretty terrible terms with my fiance's dad, I suggested that his mom bring a friend. A few days ago, his mom said that the friend she wants to invite is bringing her husband. Uhhh...I've been thinking about it, and it really is starting to irritate me. I would like to invite some of my friends, but the goal was to keep it small. Am I wrong to be pissed off that not only are two complete strangers coming to the wedding, but my MIL is telling us that the friend's husband is coming?
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Mar 27, 2009 01:56
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Jumping in a bit late on name changes: I wanted us both to have the same last name, and tried to talk him into taking mine, but he doesn't really care whether we have the same last name . . . and then his dad died, and he feels that he needs to keep his dad's name. I lose. So I'll be doing the maiden middle name thing, although it'll sound kind of goofy; I'm still considering just dropping my middle name entirely. Should add that I'm apparently the only one in the world who likes my last name, so I haven't had a lot of luck winning sympathy on this one. In other news, it's less than two months now until the wedding--I really have no sense of whether things are running on schedule.
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Mar 27, 2009 02:05
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LittleCat posted:Recently I picked up Real Simple Weddings 2009, and it's a pretty good buy. It's in magazine format, but it's got minimal advertising, lots of useful checklists and FAQs, and info for pretty much every step of the planning process. It also has a very goony invitation company listed within! (under whimsical ;/) But yes, RealSimple Weddings is a great resource.
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Mar 27, 2009 02:17
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tishthedish posted:Question: the fiance and I are having a small wedding, family only (with one exception). His parents are divorced, and his dad remarried while his mom is still single. Since my fiance's mom is on pretty terrible terms with my fiance's dad, I suggested that his mom bring a friend. A few days ago, his mom said that the friend she wants to invite is bringing her husband. It seems reasonable to be mad to me. I would suggest that either you or your fiance (depending on how close you are) need to make the situation clear to her. I think telling her that none of your friends are coming might make her rethink. Perhaps there was a miscommunication somewhere, and she (or the friend) is thinking the more the merrier. Even if she refuses to 'uninvite' the husband, don't think of it as a slight towards you, think of it like she wants more people to witness this special event. You don't want to start of your marriage all angry, do you? At the end of the day, one dude probably won't be that big of a deal.
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Mar 27, 2009 06:54
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Susan B. Antimony posted:Jumping in a bit late on name changes: I wanted us both to have the same last name, and tried to talk him into taking mine, but he doesn't really care whether we have the same last name . . . and then his dad died, and he feels that he needs to keep his dad's name. I lose. So I'll be doing the maiden middle name thing, although it'll sound kind of goofy; I'm still considering just dropping my middle name entirely. Should add that I'm apparently the only one in the world who likes my last name, so I haven't had a lot of luck winning sympathy on this one. Just don't be hard on him. It may not seem so, but we're still "young" on the whole cultural change with women's rights, etc. There is a lot of cultural pressure to retain the male last name and in a lot of cases, even subconsciously, it may make a difference. I know for me, personally, I would never consider taking my wife's name, but 100% honestly, I have no idea why, it's just been THAT ingrained in my upbringing that I can't think otherwise. I would almost not mind creating a new name entirely (which if you ask me makes more sense then taking anyone else's name), but I think my poor father would have a heart attack.. Fortunately for me, my fiancée is pretty drat cool and taking my name, which is a big deal because mines 4 syllables and doesn't fit on alot of paperwork, wheras hers was only 1.
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Mar 27, 2009 12:50
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This is related to the guest discussion: My cousin emailed me this morning and told me she'd like her sister to come. Now, I don't really know my cousin all that well, and I have never met her sister (who isn't even related to me, but wants to see the family...who she also isn't related to. Whatever.). We're having a very small ceremony and I don't really fancy having a total stranger there. Now, if her sister was her +1, fine. But she's already bringing her boyfriend AND her child. I'm not too thrilled about the kid coming, either, but I'll let that go. If it was the reception, fine. But she said specifically that they will probably only come to the ceremony. Is there a tactful way for me to say "No sister"? I'm thinking of saying that the venue is rather small and I don't know that we'll have room. It IS very small, but I doubt we'll be totally filling it.
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Mar 27, 2009 22:15
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zap actionsdower! posted:If it was the reception, fine. But she said specifically that they will probably only come to the ceremony. That's really annoying. I'd say pick your battles - is it really that burdensome that she come to the ceremony if you're not filling the venue? I guess it depends on what your ceremony is like but most of the weddings I've been to, there has really not been a lot of mingling or interaction between the bride and groom and the guests - the guests are just spectators and you, as the bride are interacting with the groom only really. She could probably have just brought her sister vs. asking you ahead of time and you'd never know because you'll be so caught up in your moment. I would think them wanting to go to the reception would be more problematic and burdensome depending on the food and alcohol situation going on. Plus then you might actually have to make small talk with her. But if she's just going to watch you get married for whatever reason, you probably won't even know she's there and you'll probably never really interact with her.
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Mar 27, 2009 23:08
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KarmaCandy posted:But if she's just going to watch you get married for whatever reason, you probably won't even know she's there and you'll probably never really interact with her. Haha, good point. Thanks. I feel weird because our ceremony is very non traditional and feels like it will be intimate, but having her there will be no different than the couple of people on my fiance's side that I don't know.
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Mar 29, 2009 01:20
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FidgetyRat posted:Just don't be hard on him. It may not seem so, but we're still "young" on the whole cultural change with women's rights, etc. There is a lot of cultural pressure to retain the male last name and in a lot of cases, even subconsciously, it may make a difference. Sorry if I came across as being hard on him--I'm mildly disappointed, but mostly completely cool with changing my name to something extra WASPy. I did mention the possibility of changing to a new name to him, although not seriously, and he settled on "Barnswallow." I am lucky to be marrying a silly person. 
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Mar 29, 2009 02:34
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I'll be popping the question in the next few months (probably July, so I have time), but I was wondering about ring settings. I have the diamonds (2 .25 ct, 1 1.0 ct), they're from her grandmother's ring. Its no surprise to her, since she got the ring from her aunt and gave it to me after we talked about rings. The last we talked, she's expecting it around her bday at the end of Sept, so I want to catch her off guard as best I can. blahblahblah, backstory. Again, I have the old ring. It looks old and she doesn't like the setting. She likes white gold/platinum and likes swirls and swirly designs (she's obsessed with the PS3 game Pixeljunk Eden for this reason). Where should I look? What questions should I ask? How much should I pay? I see settings in price ranges all over the place. Should I ensure a minimum thickness to the band? Can I go to mall stores/Robbins Bros for settings and not get ripped off? There's many more questions, which I might get into if need be. Finally, insurance? Do people get engagement ring insurance?
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Mar 31, 2009 00:37
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Guy LeDouche posted:I'll be popping the question in the next few months (probably July, so I have time), but I was wondering about ring settings. I have the diamonds (2 .25 ct, 1 1.0 ct), they're from her grandmother's ring. Its no surprise to her, since she got the ring from her aunt and gave it to me after we talked about rings. The last we talked, she's expecting it around her bday at the end of Sept, so I want to catch her off guard as best I can. If she's picky about the setting, propose with the old ring and allow her to pick out the setting. And omfg yes insure that bitch. (the ring, not the girl.) It's better to get the diamonds appraised for insurance purposes separately, so do that now, and then get an estimate from the jeweller you go with for replacement value on the whole thing. That way, if someone mugs your girl and demands that she hand over the ring or they'll cut it off her finger, you can get it replaced. (the ring, not the finger.) Go to http://www.pricescope.com and ask for help. They'll be happy to give you ideas even if it's for the setting and not the diamond. Think bored wives with too much time and rich husbands, who do nothing but troll the internet for shiny jewellery all day. They'll have giant stashes of ring porn on their hard drives, and soon you'll be flooded with so many inspiration options you'll run away screaming. Win! Ninja edit: don't go to a mall store unless you want to get fleeced like a chump. There are a few goons who work for B&M stores (brick and mortar, aka not online vendors) so if you're dealing with custom work you may want to check them out. You'll be looking at a tradeoff: potentially lower price from an online vendor, vs local craftsperson's service. If you decide to do a custom setting, local may be better if you can't find anything online that she likes or if you're worried you can't communicate your ideas well, but you'll be paying a premium because they have higher overhead costs. Whatever you do, don't let her see any Van Craeynest designs, or she'll fall in love with their swirly curlicues and floral motifs (first thing I thought of when you said Pixeljunk's Eden) and you'll drop dead when you find out how much they cost.
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Mar 31, 2009 05:41
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Swirly? I would love $10,000 to buy a boxful from this guy: http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5574177
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Mar 31, 2009 11:13
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No idea if these guys are reputable, and was hoping the other people might have heard something about them because I'm also looking at rings through them, but Antique Jewelry Mall has a lot of swirly filigree designs your girl might like. http://www.antiquejewelrymall.com/filigreerings1.html?page=1&sf=&sd=#sortblock
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Mar 31, 2009 18:50
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I usually just lurk in this thread, not getting married but I love swirly jewelry designs too so I thought I'd post this ring from https://www.krikawa.com (mentioned on the first page. It's under "sculptural engagement rings" and there's other swirly designs there too.
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Mar 31, 2009 21:22
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I had a close friend buy her engagement ring from Antique Jewelry Mall--It came promptly and was a gorgeous sapphire and diamond ring. They never had it checked out by a jeweler, but to my eye it was perfect.
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Apr 1, 2009 16:00
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Bunnicula posted:I usually just lurk in this thread, not getting married but I love swirly jewelry designs too so I thought I'd post this ring from https://www.krikawa.com (mentioned on the first page. It's under "sculptural engagement rings" and there's other swirly designs there too. this is pretty great. I'm taking the image to some jewelers this weekend to get some quotes
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Apr 2, 2009 02:07
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Guy LeDouche posted:this is pretty great. I'm taking the image to some jewelers this weekend to get some quotes Definitely a good design. I really like it and I hope you can get a good quote on it. I'm way more traditional and I have a pretty plain engagement ring with just one gorgeous diamond (it was my guy's mom's engagement diamond, she replaced hers with a moissanite - helps me not worry about having in-laws that don't like me), but I can definitely appreciate the swirly designs too. I'm sure your girl will love it.
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Apr 2, 2009 02:13
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Just picked up my engagement/wedding ring set.
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Apr 4, 2009 19:40
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That's very pretty, roop. I love the scalloped prongs for the side diamonds. Guy LaDouche: My goldsmith recommended this swirly design for you. It's a solitaire, but you could always turn the other two diamonds you have into a set of earrings for the wedding. Let me know if you would like a price on it.  
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Apr 6, 2009 03:32
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JohnnyRnR posted:That's very pretty, roop. I love the scalloped prongs for the side diamonds. sure that's very nice
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Apr 6, 2009 06:14
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ElanoreMcMantis posted:Ok so normally I don't take offense to much of anything, but this is a really, really common misconception: You don't have to be a tacky gently caress if you get married in Vegas. The major hotels all have chapels within them that are very tastefully done, and they have ministers, rabbis, and pretty much any other denomination you could want to do your vows. You can go out into the desert, fly to the grand canyon from Vegas, a myriad of imported but really nice gardens, etc. On the other end of the spectrum, you can get married by Elvis in a drive through. You can make things there as unique as you're willing to pay for them to be. Depending on the resort it starts at $650 and goes up to $ obscene. I'm kinda bringing this up because my fiance and I have decided to go the whole Vegas route, and in doing research have found everything here to be very true. There are a ton of ways to get married in Vegas without doing the tacky Elvis wedding, and there are very comprehensive (and competitively priced!) packages that are offered with excellent deals for weddings throughout Vegas and the surrounding area. Since we're getting married next April we figure the weather will be beautiful, we'll have our respective parents, and anyone else who wants to make it out to vegas (thus limiting the guest list substantially!) and we'll throw one HELL of a reception on our return. We're thinking about going with a Casino Royale theme for the reception, so that people still have an excuse to get all snazzy, and we can have some fun with the whole tee-hee they ran away to Vegas thing. Where did you guys do it?
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Apr 6, 2009 16:30
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So it's taken me 3 days to get caught up in this thread (been reading while at work, bad, bad, bad!). My boyfriend of, um, 8 1/2 years and I have decided to finally get married next year (2 months before our 10th anniversary). Originally we'd never planned to, I think the whole marriage thing is pretty stupid and there never seemed like a good reason to, plus I disagree with our country's laws about gay couples and had planned on never marrying as a form of silent protest. But, now that we're getting into our late 20s there's all these thoughts about health insurance, taxes, home buying, etc. and our state doesn't have common law marriages any more, so in the face of great co-pays and free government money, I've changed my mind (and pretty much did the proposing myself seeing as how I'd been the only reason we hadn't already married). Originally I'd thought to just do the courthouse thing or the Vegas thing (his parents got married in Vegas in the 70s, so that'd be pretty cool), but my family and his would both like the party, so we're doing a very small wedding for about 70 people (50 family members, 20 friends) with a 10 minute ceremony performed by my best friend (ordained by ULC, completely legal and okay in my state) and a 4 hour catered dinner/open bar at a local winery. Right now it's looking to cost about $5,000 all together. Room - $600 (includes tables, chairs, linens, ceremony chairs, set up, etc.) Food - $16/head, 70 people - $1,120 Bar - $15/head, four hours, 70 ppl - $1,050 Tax, Bartender, & Gratuity - $550 Brides clothes - $200 Groom's clothes - $200 Flowers - $300(table centerpieces only, doing it myself) Candles/misc. decorations - $100 Marriage license - $50 Wedding bands - $100 (already picked out on Etsy) Photographer - $200 (paying hotel rooms for friend and cousin) Officiant - $0 (same person as photographer friend, paying hotel room) DJ - $150 (random college student- gas money & hotel room) Total - $4,620, which gives me about $400 of wiggle room to keep under budget. Does it look to anyone like I'm missing anything here? We're not doing bridesmaids or flower girls. A young cousin will play a song on her violin before the ceremony, I suppose I'll get a small gift, probably jewelry, for her. We'll do photo albums as gifts for our parents and I might add a gift for my friend who's doing the ceremony as well as helping out with reception photos. I feel okay about having 2 guests be responsible for my photos because they're both excellent photographers (one an "art photographer" and the other a professional wedding/party/graduation/etc. photographer) and I know that if I didn't ask them to take photos they'd do it anyway. All I want is a cd of whatever pictures they feel like taking. We won't be doing any posed shots so it's not really taking them away from their enjoyment of the festivities. We got a super deal on the reception room. The winery is absolutely stunning http://www.crownvalleywinery.com/catered.html for pictures. They make all their own wine and beer (all we'll have at the reception) and raise a lot of their own food as well. And we've already paid the $600 and booked the room for the day we want, September 25, 2010. Now I just have to wait 6 months before I get to do anything else! And yes, for someone who's been anti-marriage and especially anti-wedding for the past 8 years, I have turned hypocrite INCREDIBLY fast. The little voice in my head that's been chanting "party, party, party" and "registry, registry, KitchenAid Mixer" for the past decade has finally won.
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Apr 7, 2009 16:17
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cool kids inc. posted:I'm kinda bringing this up because my fiance and I have decided to go the whole Vegas route, and in doing research have found everything here to be very true. There are a ton of ways to get married in Vegas without doing the tacky Elvis wedding, and there are very comprehensive (and competitively priced!) packages that are offered with excellent deals for weddings throughout Vegas and the surrounding area. We're doing it next Tuesday (one week!) at Paris. They are a little pricey, but we really liked the chapel. I also liked the gardens at Flamingo, but April is a strange month for weather. Some lessons we learned: We flew southwest, bought our tickets early, and then when they went down just took the airline credit. They JUST shot up to twice what we ended up paying, and now we have a $500 credit (we also bought my mom's, his mom's, and her boyfriend's ticket) to go anywhere Southwest flies. First anniversary trip, woop! Use Hot Deals sections on the websites and don't waste money paying a travel agent. Ask each place if they allow friends and family to bring cameras. The photographers are EXPENSIVE, but you should be able to find a package that includes some, then just got out with friends and family to all the landmarks and have them take tons. Read reviews. Youtube the location + wedding and watch videos of other's weddings. I will make a more detailed post when I get back. We are also going out there on Easter, so some of the prices are ridiculously low. Our guests are mostly staying at Harrah's and paid $45 a night.
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Apr 7, 2009 16:27
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Nione posted:Budget The only thing I don't see in your budget is invitations. You'll need to send something out to your family & friends. Especially if you have older relatives, you can't rely on the internet to get out the word. And about the registry, don't feel bad, it's totally normal. I don't even know why I want a red KitchenAid stand mixer, but I do, I really really do.
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Apr 7, 2009 18:11
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Nione posted:And yes, for someone who's been anti-marriage and especially anti-wedding for the past 8 years, I have turned hypocrite INCREDIBLY fast. The little voice in my head that's been chanting "party, party, party" and "registry, registry, KitchenAid Mixer" for the past decade has finally won. I wasn't anti-wedding but I was pretty down on the registry. But our kitchen is now, based on shower gifts alone, worlds better than it's ever been.
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Apr 7, 2009 18:21
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I just bought my girlfriend an engagement ring a few weeks ago. The ring itself was 2500 dollars. It seems like a nice ring, but the stone doesnt seem gigantic. She wanted something with numerous diamonds, so I think its a little over 2 carats, but Im assuming alot of the diamonds are in the band itself. I could have probably bought a more expensive ring (I only make 35k, but I have 20k in the bank), but I just cant see myself spending 4-5 grand on a ring when I make a little over a thousand dollars every two weeks. Am I being unreasonable here or does that seem like a decent price to spend? Im not 100% positive she is going to like it, but whats my recourse if she doesnt? They said I could take it back up until a month after purchase, but would I be a sucker if I let her do that? PhillyLucky fucked around with this message at 18:31 on Apr 7, 2009 |
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Apr 7, 2009 18:26
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PhillyLucky posted:I just bought my girlfriend an engagement ring a few weeks ago. The ring itself was 2500 dollars. It seems like a nice ring, but the stone doesnt seem gigantic. She wanted something with numerous diamonds, so I think its a little over 2 carats, but Im assuming alot of the diamonds are in the band itself. I could have probably bought a more expensive ring (I only make 35k, but I have 20k in the bank), but I just cant see myself spending 4-5 grand on a ring when I make a little over a thousand dollars every two weeks. Am I being unreasonable here or does that seem like a decent price to spend? The ring I bought cost $700 and she absolutely loves it (hell she picked it out).. Don't let anyone guilt you into buying something you don't want to buy.. The stigma and "3 months salary" thing was created by the drat jewelry industry. As I often say, why do you even have to propose with the actual ring? Why not use a prop and then let her pick out her own ring, then you don't have to worry about her not liking her ring.. I used a giant crystal paper-weight ring and it even made for a cute souvenir. You are getting married, probably doing the whole house thing soon after.. You will need every dollar you get, so if she gets pissy about not getting a $5000 ring, do you really want to marry this person? Think what would then happen when house shopping, or car shopping.. Ugh..
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Apr 7, 2009 18:30
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PhillyLucky, do you have any reason to assume she'd want a "gigantic" diamond? Numerous diamonds + a gigantic center stone sounds awfully pricey, but maybe she'd be more than happy with what you have now. I agree with FidgetyRat - go shopping with her. Before you propose, or after, depending on your relationship. Let her pick out something -she- likes, but for god's sake, set a budget. Don't just think "I HAVE 20k in the bank, so I guess I can spend thousands and thousands of dollars." I'm sure she'll be thrilled with whatever you guys can make work - if she demands you bankrupt yourself over her ring, she probably isn't a good pick! We pretty much said gently caress it to the whole two/three/however many months salary the diamond industry is trying to make you spend these days. He proposed to me with a $200 ring that is very cute and now that we've replaced it with the ring I've always wanted (which we had custom made for $1000), I wear the cute one on my right hand. It all worked out very nicely, and I have a beautiful ring now that didn't break the bank. We are paying a few grand for our wedding, we have a mortgage and car payments, spending thousands was not reasonable. On the other hand, I know someone who expects her fiancé to sell his car to pay for her ring, so, you know, to each their own.
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Apr 7, 2009 18:54
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GoreJess posted:The only thing I don't see in your budget is invitations. You'll need to send something out to your family & friends. Especially if you have older relatives, you can't rely on the internet to get out the word. Ok, so I do want an opinion on this. I want to send out email invitations with a link to our webpage with an online RSVP. We're only doing immediate family and they all use email on a daily basis. I recently did my future sister-in-law's bridal shower and sent out 50 invitations, which cost me about $100. Mine would be slightly less since I'm only sending out about 30. It's definitely not going to break my budget. But the most aggravating thing about the invitations was the amount of people who didn't return a response card. It's a goddamn self-addressed stamped envelope. Check yes or no and drop it in the mail. All of my aunts were invited to the shower. Only one of them returned a card. A friend of mine is getting married in 2 weeks, and over 50 people didn't return their cards and had to be called the week before her numbers were due. My sister-in-law is still missing RSVPs for almost 100 people and they're 39 days from their wedding. I don't know what the gently caress is wrong with people, but I think it would be easier for me AND easier for my family to simply RSVP online. And I don't think I can trust them to read a webpage address on an invitation and remember to get online to RSVP. So is it stupid to think that people are more likely to RSVP if they only have to click on a link? Is it confusing and tacky to not send paper invitations? I really have no concern about what I'm "supposed" to do, this is not a typical wedding and the people that would be likely to be pissed about not getting an invitation in the mail are going to be even more pissed when it's discovered that I'm a) not wearing white and b) not having a religious (i.e. officiated by a minister) wedding ceremony. And these people are my stepmother, her 94 year-old mother, and the one aunt who returned her shower response card. I've got forever to decide, but this is the way I'm leaning at the moment. The other way I could go is wedding postcards AND an email invite. They'd at least get something in the mail, it would be less than half the cost, and we could still do the online RSVP.
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Apr 7, 2009 19:13
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Nione: We sent out invitations, but in place of the yes/no section on the reply card, we told people to go to our website. We had about 80% of our RSVPs by a week after the deadline (we expected this so we made the deadline a bit earlier than necessary), and tracking down the last 20 people or so wasn't too painful. And we didn't lose out on postage for people who didn't respond. I was also worried about whether people would be willing to go online to RSVP, but it largely wasn't a problem. A couple of the older folks just told our parents they were coming, and a few others forgot, but most people found it very convenient. I do think that print invitations are much, much classier than electronic invitations.
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Apr 7, 2009 19:18
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