|
Fumaofthelake posted:As someone who was raised baptist but is basically an atheist now, can anyone give me any advice as to what I should expect during pre-cana? I know I can marry her and have the church recognize it so long as I give permission for her to raise the kids catholic if she wants, but is my pretty much complete lack of faith going to be a problem? Don't worry. They don't fail you. I mean, if you beat her in front of the priest they might try to stage an intervention, but when we did it in 2007, all they wanted was for us to think about and talk about any issues or differences, they didn't need us to have 'right answers', other than that we were intending the marriage to be permanent and were open to the possibility of children and that the catholic in the marriage is allowed to bring them to church. My husband is completely not religious, this caused no problems at all for us.
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2009 20:48
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 9, 2024 07:50 |
|
|
Does anyone know about these dress designers? Simone Carvalli Martina Liana
|
|
#
?
Jun 3, 2009 20:18
|
|
|
Whoo! We showed up on Offbeat Bride today. That was pretty much my maid of honor's dream.
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2009 00:10
|
|
|
Fumaofthelake posted:As someone who was raised baptist but is basically an atheist now, can anyone give me any advice as to what I should expect during pre-cana? I know I can marry her and have the church recognize it so long as I give permission for her to raise the kids catholic if she wants, but is my pretty much complete lack of faith going to be a problem? I really depends on the church. There's no "one way" to run a precana. It must be a really liberal parish of they're marrying you without converting.
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2009 17:27
|
|
|
Sizzlechest posted:It must be a really liberal parish of they're marrying you without converting. Most Catholic churches don't require you to convert. For a Catholic to marry a non-Catholic Christian, you usually just have to seek permission to enter into a mixed marriage. Since he was born Baptist and probably at least baptized as a Christian, they shouldn't give him too many problems.
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2009 17:40
|
|
|
And so begins the countdown for us. As of today our wedding is one year out. Unless I get a job that needs me to start immediately, I'll be going to give our location a detailed look next week. We were going to go with an expensive flower farm outside of Asheville, but we found a much cheaper ($1135 for two days versus $8000 for three) private park with rentable cabins nearby that we're going with instead. Yay for saving thousands.
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2009 19:25
|
|
|
Sneaky Monkey posted:And so begins the countdown for us. As of today our wedding is one year out. Same here!
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2009 20:19
|
|
|
Speaking of saving thousands I should be able to give some insight on having a wedding where you enlist the help of your friends for most of it. It's certainly saving us a fortune though I can understand why most people would rather leave it to the professionals. Good or bad, I'll be glad to share my experiences. So far we have friends doing our flowers, decorating, photos, food, bartending, and one of our friends is our officiant (ordained by the Universal Life Church, haha). We've also decided to pass on a DJ and rent a PA and hook it up to a laptop and just run iTunes. It could be pretty interesting overall, but I really am not worried. 
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2009 21:42
|
|
|
maso posted:Speaking of saving thousands I should be able to give some insight on having a wedding where you enlist the help of your friends for most of it. It's certainly saving us a fortune though I can understand why most people would rather leave it to the professionals. Good or bad, I'll be glad to share my experiences. So far we have friends doing our flowers, decorating, photos, food, bartending, and one of our friends is our officiant (ordained by the Universal Life Church, haha). We've also decided to pass on a DJ and rent a PA and hook it up to a laptop and just run iTunes. It could be pretty interesting overall, but I really am not worried. That's pretty much exactly how ours went. It was spectacular.
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2009 22:28
|
|
|
maso posted:Speaking of saving thousands I should be able to give some insight on having a wedding where you enlist the help of your friends for most of it. It's certainly saving us a fortune though I can understand why most people would rather leave it to the professionals. Good or bad, I'll be glad to share my experiences. So far we have friends doing our flowers, decorating, photos, food, bartending, and one of our friends is our officiant (ordained by the Universal Life Church, haha). We've also decided to pass on a DJ and rent a PA and hook it up to a laptop and just run iTunes. It could be pretty interesting overall, but I really am not worried. I'd like to do this for most of it, but things keep making it more expensive. So far I have a friend for photography, but she asked in return for us to cover the expenses to fly her and her husband into town, which from TX to NC is going to be probably around $1000. My mother's gotten us discounts on our cake (cupcakes) and music (jazz band) through her connections at the school she works at. We're going to ask one of my fiance's cousins to be our officiant. I'd like to ask friends to do food, but my mother's insisting we get a professional for it so that no one as a guest has to rush around cooking the day before or of. She's fine with everything else being friends-made, but thinks food should be professionally done. Professionals I've talked to are asking over a thousand for finger sandwiches. We can MAKE an entire meal with whole sandwiches for a quarter of that for all of our guests. Ridiculous...maybe I should try talking to caterers without adding the "w" word...
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2009 22:54
|
|
|
I'm currently in the position of catering a friend of a friend's wedding: appetizers and cake for 80. I understand she's doing it this way to save money, but this is a big undertaking for me and I expect reasonable compensation. I came here to make sure I wasn't being too unreasonable for prices and she doesn't have unreasonable expectations. So far the 6 appetizers, drinks, cake & serveware is looking to cost $300. I was thinking about $200 for myself because this is three days of work (one whole day on the three tiered cake). This brings us to $500. I don't think she could find anyone to do the same for under $1000 (especially with the cake) so she's getting a good deal at way under $10 per person. She tried to get me down to $150. I'm not asking for too much am I?
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2009 23:16
|
|
|
Lixer posted:I'm currently in the position of catering a friend of a friend's wedding: appetizers and cake for 80. I understand she's doing it this way to save money, but this is a big undertaking for me and I expect reasonable compensation. I came here to make sure I wasn't being too unreasonable for prices and she doesn't have unreasonable expectations. I don't think so, especially since it's a friend of a friend, and not an immediate friend. Show her the numbers of the cost to you and the time estimated, and tell her to find the price for that same stuff from any other caterer. I'd be estatic to get my wedding catered for $500! Wanna do mine? 
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2009 23:22
|
|
|
Lixer posted:
No, she's s lovely cheap person. Sorry.
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2009 23:41
|
|
|
If it were for a friend I would definitely do it at just the cost of food as a gift. This person really has no other options though: the wedding is one week from today! I just got asked to do it last Saturday so if she wanted to go through a caterer and have me do the cake I'd be happy but that's really not an option for her (especially on a budget) now.
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2009 23:43
|
|
|
Lixer posted:This brings us to $500. Your price is insane for all the work it's going to be. A real caterer with advertising, a commercial kitchen, insurance, and employees would charge at least $2,000. I just checked prices with a local caterer and for passed appetizers they want $6 per head + 22% service charge. And that's just for light appetizers before a meal - If you want the apps to replace a meal then you're looking at $20+22% a head. That doesn't include the $1,000 cake! Since you aren't a pro I would tell her that your price is "Total Expenses + 50% profit." Do not buy anything yourself. Make the bride go with you to the restaurant supply house (or Sam's club) and she can pay for the food. You should copy every receipt and then give her a bill for your profit. The worst case scenario is that you don't get the job and can avoid the disaster this is guaranteed to turn into.
|
|
#
?
Jun 6, 2009 04:41
|
|
|
My supposed to be simple going to the courthouse to get legally married so I can change my name easier and we can get a break on car insurance thing has turned into a full on catered bridal shower with favors for everyone attending, landscaping in the backyard for the ceremony itself, full on invitations to the reception with reply cards and everything, a rented room in a restaurant for said reception, a full on wedding cake, and god knows what else. I've only been planning this for a week, the shower is July 10th, the ceremony July 13th, and the reception July 29th. I only have a week and a half before shoulder surgery on my right side is going to put me out of commission, and I have to go to Georgia for a week for a family reunion before then. I am so goddamn tired, but we've almost got it all handled. Thank god I don't have to invite as many people to my actual wedding next May as I do to the reception next month. Jesus christ. And Lixer, I would be ecstatic if you offered me that, it's pretty lame that she's trying to get you to take half the cost of the food.
|
|
#
?
Jun 6, 2009 04:53
|
|
|
I guess I should clarify by saying $150 on top of the $300 for food. No way am I losing money on this! And it's next week so if I didn't do it, she wouldn't have food. Thanks for a better idea of what it would cost for a real caterer, my only knowledge has been through these wedding threads as the catering sites are pretty tight lipped. I just graduated and am unemployed so I'm really not doing anything at the moment and jumped at the idea of making a wedding cake. I also have a nutrition/ food management background so I'm familiar with logistics and that sort of thing. The real difficulty that I've had is that she is deaf so all communication goes through my friend and boy do I feel bad for her as she will be the photographer and her brother is the DJ. We'll see how it goes though. I'm excited about the task and I'll be sure to post a picture-full thread in Goons With Spoons afterward about the endeavor. If anyone needs a cheap cake in Austin... Lixer fucked around with this message at 06:48 on Jun 6, 2009 |
|
#
?
Jun 6, 2009 06:43
|
|
|
maso posted:I got engaged just a few days ago so YAY I can post in this thread. Coming out of lurking to tell you how gorgeous this dress is. Let us know when you get it if the place is awesome as they seem.
|
|
#
?
Jun 6, 2009 12:57
|
|
|
See the food thing we're really lucky on. Our caterer is my fiance's buddy from work, and he's an honest to god caterer on weekends. He's doing it for us at cost, which is amazing. I'm excited. Eris posted:Coming out of lurking to tell you how gorgeous this dress is. Let us know when you get it if the place is awesome as they seem.
|
|
#
?
Jun 6, 2009 13:00
|
|
|
I haven't waded through the whole thread for this question yet, because I'm about 38 pages behind, and I can't get through that in such short order, so I'm really sorry if this has been repeated. How bad is it to register for stuff in multiple places? My fiance and I loved certain things at three different stores, and are trying to decide whether we should register in all three stores, or if we should suck it up and stick to two. Two of my cousins are either just newly married (three weeks ago) or about to get married (in October) and have registered in two places each as far as we're aware. Neither my fiance nor I want to look like greedy little bastards, but we're thoroughly torn about whether or not it's bad form to register in multiple places. My mother is no help, and I don't know whether or not the fiance has asked the parentals on that side of the family. tl;dr version: Is it bad form to register in three different places if that's where we find the things we really love and want?
|
|
#
?
Jun 7, 2009 03:40
|
|
|
I registered for 3 places - 2 brick and mortar stores and Amazon. I was pretty sure that my Canadian relatives didn't have the two brick and mortar stores and I had many other guests coming from out of state who may not have had either store near them so I did the Amazon list too. It also allowed me to get some a-typical wedding things (like camping equipment) and different accessories to my place setting that I chose. I don't see it as being really greedy - only putting $150+ things on your registry is greedy. Gravitee fucked around with this message at 22:56 on Jun 7, 2009 |
|
#
?
Jun 7, 2009 04:27
|
|
|
Friendly Geek posted:tl;dr version: Is it bad form to register in three different places if that's where we find the things we really love and want? Absolutely not. In fact, the reason I registered in three places was to ensure the lowest price for the items on the registry.
|
|
#
?
Jun 7, 2009 13:21
|
|
|
Don't make the same mistake I made. If you have even the slightest desire to get a house in somewhat close proximity to the wedding, make sure you register for somewhere like lowes or home depot.. Boy am I kicking myself now.
|
|
#
?
Jun 7, 2009 22:16
|
|
|
okay, I jumped. here's the setting I got to go with the diamonds given to me from gf's aunt (originally gf's grandmother's ring). Got a great deal, nice to get the diamonds handed to you. My diamonds are a little bigger than those shown, .95 in the center, with ~.50 on either side. I have reservations at the cool jazz restaurant where we had our first date. Any help with the actual proposal? I don't want to do something corny or cliche. I was thinking of just waiting for a good moment and then saying something like "honey, i love you. will you marry me?" but if someone has a better suggestion, I'm open. Should I ask before we start dinner or wait until we are done with dinner? I'm thinking before. I imagine she's going to want to call a million of her girl friends and generally be a big bowl of giddiness, so that'll be fun. e: reload if the ring doesn't show up. weird. i used waffleimages. Scott Forstall fucked around with this message at 02:15 on Jun 11, 2009 |
|
#
?
Jun 11, 2009 01:45
|
|
|
Guy LeDouche posted:Should I ask before we start dinner or wait until we are done with dinner? I did it before dinner. Then she was giddy the whole time showing the waitress, texting friends, etc. Made the dinner more fun. We even got a free desert out of it.
|
|
#
?
Jun 11, 2009 13:12
|
|
|
Guy LeDouche posted:
I think simpler is better. Don't do what my husband did--that being "Hey, do you like, wanna get married or something?" 
|
|
#
?
Jun 11, 2009 15:13
|
|
|
Right, so I know i said Bellagio in my last post, but I've since changed my ways. http://www.harrahs.com/weddings/caesars-palace/clv-packages-caesar.html 3:30 PM, April 3, 2010 is our official booked date. We're doing it in the Venus Garden and it's super beautiful. The sheer amount of STUFF I get for the price versus what was offered at the Bellagio made it worth no fountains.
|
|
#
?
Jun 11, 2009 19:14
|
|
|
Any help or advice for a self-vow-writer? Groom in this case.
|
|
#
?
Jun 11, 2009 19:30
|
|
|
So, a question for those of you who are happily engaged/married: How long did you and your sig. other discuss marriage, engagement, small details like name changes, the theoretical logistics of having a reception when your two families live on opposite sides of the country... before you actually became engaged? Years beforehand? No discussion, proposal out of the blue? Somewhere in between?
|
|
#
?
Jun 11, 2009 19:53
|
|
|
Venyia posted:So, a question for those of you who are happily engaged/married: Our situation is a bit unusual from most as he's in the UK and I'm in the states. We had to discuss the bigger logistical things like the K-1 visa and how to involve his side of the family. He's left name change thing up to me, and when we were first dating I wanted to keep mine, but as things progressed, I'm quite excited to become a part of his family and name We discussed everything we could think of before the engagement, just to be sure we're on the same page. I knew he was going to ask sometime between March and May, and while not a 'surprise' his proposal during Love Song at a Cure concert is something I'll cherish forever.
|
|
#
?
Jun 11, 2009 22:43
|
|
|
Froglin posted:I think simpler is better. Don't do what my husband did--that being "Hey, do you like, wanna get married or something?" I am so glad this happened to someone else too! "Hey, I kinda like you, maybe we should just get married," after we had been talking about it for a while. I let it pass though because he's a great guy in all other respects.
|
|
#
?
Jun 12, 2009 01:04
|
|
|
Venyia posted:So, a question for those of you who are happily engaged/married: My fiance and I were betrothed in both our mother's eyes at least 9 years ago It was a big joke then. Any time I would see her I would get a hello and then she'd ask if I was dating anyone. We started actually dating about 2.5 years ago and began joking about getting married and how hilarious it would be to see our parent's reactions. As we continued dating it turned from joking to actual consideration very gradually. About a year into our relationship we started talking more seriously about it. He was ready then and I needed a little more time. A few months later I gave him the green light and then he taunted me relentlessly about buying a ring for about a month. He ended up buying the ring on a Saturday, a month shy of our 2 year anniversary, and proposed less then 24 hours later. Pagan Fish Goddess posted:I am so glad this happened to someone else too! "Hey, I kinda like you, maybe we should just get married," after we had been talking about it for a while. I let it pass though because he's a great guy in all other respects. When my fiance initially asked me out he stopped in the middle of a "Hey I haven't seen you in forever" dinner and said "So do you want to try dating me?" Later in our relationship he asked "So do you want to try being my girlfriend?" At that point I told him he was not allowed to ask me to try and marry him! So of course that translated to laying down together chatting while thinking about taking a nap one afternoon, when he got up (I thought to go to the bathroom) and he got the ring and then simply asked if I would marry him. So then I had to call everyone and tell them when they asked how he proposed "Well we were going to take a nap, but got engaged instead!" Later he said he was going to come into my classroom after school later in the week, but he just was too impatient. I wouldn't have it any other way.
|
|
#
?
Jun 12, 2009 04:16
|
|
|
Zantie posted:Our situation is a bit unusual from most as he's in the UK and I'm in the states. We had to discuss the bigger logistical things like the K-1 visa and how to involve his side of the family. He's left name change thing up to me, and when we were first dating I wanted to keep mine, but as things progressed, I'm quite excited to become a part of his family and name We talked about marriage from day one, actually. It was jokingly, of course, but I think we both knew immediately we'd end up together. Like Zantie we had to discuss how we'd make a transatlantic engagement work, who was moving where, visa stuff and meaningful ways of incorporating our families. The proposal wasn't a huge surprise since we already had the fiance visa paperwork ready but we didn't start discussing the minor things like venues, themes, etc. until after we were engaged.
|
|
#
?
Jun 12, 2009 04:27
|
|
|
Zantie posted:while not a 'surprise' his proposal during Love Song at a Cure concert is something I'll cherish forever. Replace The Cure with Depeche Mode and you'll have my dream proposal! The Cure wouldn't be too bad either... Anyways, that wedding I'm catering is tomorrow and I have everything set and ready to go! A bit nervous about frosting the cake last minute but that's why I cunningly got them to choose a coconut cake because it hides most flaws and doesn't get easier than that to decorate. Boy will I be happy when it's all over!
|
|
#
?
Jun 12, 2009 05:41
|
|
|
We got engaged about 7 years into our relationship, at that point it was almost a formality since we already lived together and just seemed the best course of action since we already considered ourselves married and this opened doors for a lot of savings in insurances, taxes, etc. Wedding is in 44 days yikes!
|
|
#
?
Jun 12, 2009 13:03
|
|
|
amethystbliss posted:I just got married to my British husband in March and we went the K-1 route. Let me know if you have any questions about the process! Ditto to any help you need with the k-1 process, or any enraged rants about how much the process sucks. We joked about marriage on day two of talking after a quick chat the night before as I was getting ready to go to a party. It was funny because hey, it's not like it's ever going to happen, right? 
|
|
#
?
Jun 12, 2009 17:43
|
|
|
Thanks amethystbliss and Redfish. I only got the NOA1 at the end of May so right now it's just a whole lot of waiting. I'm nervous about finding a full-time job by the time my current one ends in August though, just cause of sponsor requirements.
|
|
#
?
Jun 12, 2009 20:25
|
|
|
Hey guys, I am about to ask about your opinion, on the internet: Here is the ring style I am choosing for an engagement ring. KEEP IN MIND, the one I am getting is roughly 2,999.99 and it is a 1.5CT. NOT the one that is on this link, but it looks the exact same, for some reason they took mine off their site. http://www.jared.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product1%7C10451%7C10001%7C-1%7C531034902%7C19064%7C19061.19078.19105 So, I wanted an opinion here as this is my first (and hopefully only) time I am buying an engagement ring. Is my taste good? Also, is this to much for an engagement ring. I don't make a crazy amount of money as I am only 23. But I don't make bad money and feel I can pay this off rather quickly. My initial plan is to take her out to somewhere nice the night before I propose to throw her off the scent and keep doing my usual romantic stuff before them. I am a very romantic person I like to surprise the girlfriend with flowers at work, candle light when she gets home, the whole nine-yards. So, in all honesty I think I will catch her off guard, maybe. She is pretty smart. Anyway, after that day we go on a nice dinner, we will be going down to the beach in another city. We have already planned this out so I don't think she will catch on. We will do tourism stuff and it is my hope that we will have a romantic walk on the beach. Which, somehow I plan on writing the "Will you marry me" thing in big letters in the sand. Either with glow sticks or drawing it. I am afraid of the waves ruining it though and I will have to do research on tides in the area. So, does anyone have any ideas they can add on? Or advice for me? I am trying to make this as stupidly special as possible. Also, if you know anything bad/good about the vendor I have chosen, let me know. Bardlebee fucked around with this message at 20:46 on Jun 12, 2009 |
|
#
?
Jun 12, 2009 20:43
|
|
|
My brother is getting married soon (November) and is looking at having his reception in a hotel's function room. They do a lot of weddings there, and are well-known locally for their gorgeous beach views. The price they charge seems a little steep to me: $130AUD per person, plus a $500 booking fee PLUS $250/hr for labour. He's looking at about 85 people, so about $10700AUD for the reception. The cost includes: room hire, a 3-course plated dinner, restricted open bar (beer, red and white wine and sparkling wine, with harder liquor for sale at the bar), tables, chairs with covers and "a sash in the colour of your choosing", bridal table, cake table, signing table, wait staff, and access to their PA setup, and accommodation for the bride and groom the night of the wedding (they also get breakfast). The hotel provides a 'wedding coordinator' as part of the cost, and the booking fee is returned to the B&G once the whole this is over, providing we don't trash the joint. They can save a bit by hooking up a laptop with a pre-made playlist for music and by having one of my other brothers MC. What do you think? Slightly more than 50% of their budget would be going to the reception; is that an insane amount to spend on a reception? Or is it a good deal considering everything that's included? I have no basis for comparison. E: Bardlebee, it's a lovely ring and the amount of effort you're putting in to make it a surprise is sweet. The only concern I have is that you mention paying off the ring - a lot of previous posts in this thread advised against taking out a loan/getting into debt for the e-ring. If you can pay it off quickly, wouldn't it just be better to save up the money just as quickly and buy the ring when you can actually afford it? annaconda fucked around with this message at 07:35 on Jun 15, 2009 |
|
#
?
Jun 15, 2009 07:32
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 9, 2024 07:50 |
|
|
annaconda posted:The price they charge seems a little steep to me: $130AUD per person, plus a $500 booking fee PLUS $250/hr for labour. He's looking at about 85 people, so about $10700AUD for the reception. Have they shopped around? Its hard to make a judgement when you can't compare to other local places. Back when we were setting our reception up, we went to about 10 different places, all ranging from $50-$150/h USD. In the end, we went with a really nice place that only does wedding receptions.. Full open bar, cake covered, etc.. Since we booked a sunday we got 10% off and since we booked well in advance, we got pricing from the year before (so now 2 years ago) as well as both reception halls, one for the cocktail and the other for the rest of the evening). Price for us will be about 78/h in the end and we actually get alot more then you listed. We also found places like country clubs and hotels charged way more then they were worth. But again, its all about comparisons to places in your area.. Since we're in different countries, that makes it a bit hard.
|
|
#
?
Jun 15, 2009 12:43
|
|