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We are planning for early April 2010 wedding, Sunday lunch since it'll still be a bit chilly, reception only since doing City Hall earlier that week, inviting 50-70 people, food and drinks budget $5000-7000 including tips and alcohol (hopefully!). We've decided to book location and catering separately since "world famous chicken madeira" makes us sad and we don't really care about decorations as much as food. We'll probably go with Brazilian Room in Berkeley's Tilden Park since that's around $2500, or something similarly priced. I just thought of this menu instead of sleeping: - watercress soup with poached egg and large crouton - greens with red and golden beets, warm chevre, and thin red onions with cider vinaigrette - cheese ravioli or gnocchi in moray sauce with chanterelle mushrooms and Parmesan slices - OR lamb au jus with roasted brussel sprouts, carrots, and lima beans - potato dauphinoise - crusty rosemary potato loaf with warmed butter - cornichons (little French pickles) - maybe cheese cutting instead of cake cutting - fruit medley with lavendar honey syrup - Riesling and pear cider at table. Open bar. So is this a crazy menu for the budget? I was thinking spring season and rustic-style bistro food. Everything is probably impossible but I don't know what food service is really like when you get to serving lots of people at once. I'd consider buffet-style but also family-style is awesome. I'd just like to have an idea of what's feasible in terms of value and then go discuss menu with the caterers. jomiel fucked around with this message at 10:15 on Jun 24, 2009 |
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Jun 24, 2009 10:12
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The Frogs posted:Do any of the ladies out there think this ring looks swell? Am I over-thinking this? I think it's a really nice ring. The band has a good shape. I like how it sort of comes up to meet the diamond. You are definitely over thinking this decision. It's a gorgeous ring & there's nothing strange going on that could turn her off to it.
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Jun 24, 2009 12:44
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The Frogs posted:When I psychoanalyze myself (yeah it has gotten to this stage), I think maybe I like this ring because it looks sleek/manly. Do any of the ladies out there think this ring looks swell? Am I over-thinking this? It doesn't look manly to me. It has a nice curve up where the setting is. Very nice!
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Jun 24, 2009 13:15
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So, tell me if my idea for proposing is lame or not: We've both been wanting to have professional photos of us taken as a couple, for a while. Something to throw into christmas cards, maybe have framed. She has a coworker who works with her part time, and does photography part time, who was going to meet up with us at some point. My idea was to talk with the photographer beforehand, and have her sort of gradually guide us through different poses until I'm kneeling beside her, then say something goofy like "Oh, kneeling? Good thing I have this, then." The idea of the whole thing being to capture the surprise on her face, and to be able to use the photos as something to send out with invitations. Is that corny? We don't really have a "place" we can go to, like a first date spot, and she would see that kind of thing coming a mile away. I think this would really surprise her, and give us something that we could put into photo albums and laugh at, years later.
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Jun 24, 2009 23:08
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I like the idea, but please for the love of god don't say "Oh, kneeling? Good thing I have this, then." If you're down on one knee, just pull the ring out and pop the question.
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Jun 24, 2009 23:11
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ixo posted:So, tell me if my idea for proposing is lame or not: Not lame. I can't imagine that she wouldn't be surprised, especially if it seems like the photog is just naturally guiding you into the right position! Adorable. I'm also guessing that since you two are actually seeking photos, she's not camera-shy, so she won't be uncomfortable having such an intimate moment photographed.
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Jun 24, 2009 23:12
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Doc Faustus posted:I like the idea, but please for the love of god don't say "Oh, kneeling? Good thing I have this, then." If you're down on one knee, just pull the ring out and pop the question. Yeah, I'm not really that goofy. I'd just say something heartfelt anyway, I wouldn't script it out or anything. Thanks for the feedback.
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Jun 24, 2009 23:46
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jomiel posted:We are planning for early April 2010 wedding, Sunday lunch since it'll still be a bit chilly, reception only since doing City Hall earlier that week, inviting 50-70 people, food and drinks budget $5000-7000 including tips and alcohol (hopefully!). We've decided to book location and catering separately since "world famous chicken madeira" makes us sad and we don't really care about decorations as much as food. We'll probably go with Brazilian Room in Berkeley's Tilden Park since that's around $2500, or something similarly priced. Your budget is the exact same as ours. We paid $1800 for the venue instead of $2500 because we are getting married on a friday night. We are planning on 80 people. Short version: good luck with that food and an open bar.If you can make it happen, you live somewhere cheaper than I do! Every caterer I talked to came to at least 4.5K (though I am in CT, and everything is pricey). All the rentals (flat/glassware) always came to a minimum of 1.5K of that 4.5 What we are doing: Hiring server/bartender for $900 No apps, just cheese and charcuterie Wine/Beer/Cava only, through my wine distributor. Cava/Prosecco will always be cheaper than champagne Having a local/awesome/authentic mexican resturant prepare the food ($15/per head) buffet Family style was our original goal, as well as a seasonal (and cornichons  ). It turns out that family style is the most expensive way to serve a meal, followed by served, and then by buffet. Family style requires the same amount of servers and you have to have huge tables (or very small plates). Buffet also allows for less food to actually be prepared as you do not need a full "serving" for each table
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Jun 25, 2009 02:01
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That is good to know about family style and prices, Studebaker! I live in SF but thinking about South Bay/East Bay places so it'd be a bit cheaper. $4500 sounds really good for 80 people! I was also thinking of cheese & charcuterie for apps too , or forgo apps entirely since there's no ceremony at all so there needs to be no wait time. Also rethinking the cake cutting (seems like a lot of people will be disappointed I guess I can spend $6 to make them happy) and open bar (it's lunch so maybe just more wine, mimosas, and maybe some whiskey/vodka mix). Sparkling wine is a good suggestion; most Asians (my side) don't really like champagne anyway since most are dry.
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Jun 25, 2009 02:14
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Etiquette question: I am going to an Indian wedding in a month or so. It's is only going to be slightly traditional, but one of my friends was going on and on about how she made a really cute dress but couldn't wear it because you aren't supposed to wear some color to Indian weddings. But I wasn't paying attention so much. I know you shouldn't wear black or white from normal etiquette and a google search, but I don't want to offend anyone by wearing orange stripes or something. So, wedding goons, do you know?
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Jun 25, 2009 19:34
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A quick google search only brought up white as being bad luck at an indian wedding, it's a color of sadness and mourning and supposedly brings death to the bride and groom.
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Jun 25, 2009 19:59
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Oh god, 16 days until the wedding.
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Jun 26, 2009 01:21
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I could use some advice  My husband/"fiance" (we eloped in secret a few months back) and I are having our Big Wedding in our home state on July 25th. We had 5 bridesmaids and 5 groomsmen. The wedding is on July 25th, a mere month away. And the first thing that happened is one of his groomsmen, his brother, "forgot" that he is the best man at another wedding on the same day in a city 3 hours away. He says that his friend's wedding is in the afternoon and ours is in the evening so he can make it, but I had already planned to have one groomsman walk two bridesmaids down the aisle in case he couldn't leave the first wedding in time. No just 30 minutes ago one of my fiance's other groomsmen emailed to say he can't make it because he has to work. I mean, it's a goddamn month before the wedding!! Am I being a complete bitch in wanting to wring his neck and say "What the gently caress is wrong with your side??!!!" But I'm aware this won't accomplish anything. But still I am so angry I could bite someone! And also, how bad would it look if there are 5 bridesmaids and 3 groomsmen? Or should I kick out two of my bridesmaids ...I really don't want to do that, four of them are my dearest friends and one is my sister.And he can't find another groomsman on such short notice because we both moved away from our home state a long time ago and lost contact with a lot of people. What would you do in this situation, guys?
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Jun 26, 2009 08:20
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I don't think it matters that your sides are unbalanced at all. have two groomsmen walk two bridesmaids down the isle, have the two bridesmaids walk together... there are a lot of solutions. Also, don't ring hubby's neck, ring the necks of the stupids that are making things difficult. 
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Jun 26, 2009 09:19
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I would feel totally hurt and mad too. That's very rude of them and I hope you express to them (in a completely adult, civil manner of course) how disappointed you are. That being said, I have two friends who just went through a similar situation. My friend Allison got married last week and my other good friend Kate was going to be in her bridal party. In March, Kate got an offer through her work to spend three months in India through an employee exchange program. Kate accepted and had to tell Allison that she wasn't going to be in her wedding. I'm not sure if Allison has gotten over it yet... we'll see when Kate gets back if that relationship mends. I can totally sympathize with Allison but Kate had a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and it's good for her career. Hell, I was slightly miffed when Kate went to Australia the week before my wedding but she was back in time and didn't get eaten by a shark. Boring personal story aside, I think you can have an uneven number. You can always rework the ceremony so the wedding party comes up and down the aisle individually, or if it's wide enough, the groomsman can walk two ladies and totally look like a pimp.
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Jun 26, 2009 15:00
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LuckyDaemon posted:..there are 5 bridesmaids and 3 groomsmen... That's a small army. No one will notice.
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Jun 26, 2009 16:37
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Does anyone have experience dealing with jamesallen.com or any other online diamond vendors? I'm trying to get a nice, well-cut diamond, and I'm a little bit leery of buying online, but it's so much cheaper to do so.
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Jun 26, 2009 20:49
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LuckyDaemon posted:I could use some advice It's rude, but chill. If this is the worst thing to happen to your wedding, you are golden.
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Jun 26, 2009 21:40
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Heard a funny proposal story today, from the groom. Guy takes his girlfriend on a walk across the Golden Gate bridge, around sunset. Stunning view, a rare day without fog, gorgeous out. Halfway across, he drops to one knee and proposes. She says yes. He said that he wanted to do it there, so that if she said no, he'd have a convenient place to throw her off of.
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Jun 27, 2009 02:13
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superbelch posted:Does anyone have experience dealing with jamesallen.com or any other online diamond vendors? I'm trying to get a nice, well-cut diamond, and I'm a little bit leery of buying online, but it's so much cheaper to do so. Coming out of lurkdom to say that I do. Jim is absolutely wonderful. They're really good with communication and making sure that you get exactly what you want. I've done business with them several times and would recommend them 100 times over. If you're buying a diamond from them, I definitely recommend joining pricescope.com first. You'll get the pricescope "discount". Totally worth the free signup.
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Jun 27, 2009 04:46
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LuckyDaemon posted:And also, how bad would it look if there are 5 bridesmaids and 3 groomsmen? Just going to pick out this sentence: I got married last Saturday with 7 groomspeople (6 men, 1 woman) and her side was 4 (3 women, 1 man) and it worked out fine. My perpective was just to give props the people you have to give props to, regardless of their numbers or stagecraft. Worked out perfectly. All the men in kilts, all the women in saris, and the one incongruous element on each side added a bit of contrast.
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Jun 27, 2009 12:07
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ixo posted:Photoshoot proposal idea This is an awesome idea, and trust me, she will be completely ecstatic that she has photos of the EXACT moment that you proposed. My engagement moments were photographed, and I didn't see it coming either. I was on vacation with my mom in Disney World for my birthday. I'm a huge Disney fanatic, and since they were doing the birthday promo where you get in free on my birthday, my mom said "hey, why don't we?" Keep in mind that my honey wasn't on the trip at all. My birthday rolls around, and I had decided to be in the Magic Kingdom for the day. This was day 5 of the 7 day trip, and we were just moseying around because we were pooped. In line for something at noon-ish, Mom gets a text message and then surreptitiously guides me to the front of the castle, where my soon-to-be-fiance was waiting. After the standard touristy pics in front of the castle, she starts looking around for him. I spot him first and become a blubbering mess, thinking that he was just there to surprise me for my birthday. While I hug him and blubber in his ear that I couldn't believe he was there, he says "it gets better" and proceeds to go down on one knee. The whole time, my mother was taking pictures while crying herself. It was completely perfect for us, and now we have a whole series of pictures that capture those moments. Long story short, that's a fabulous idea, and you and she will both be really happy you did that, because you'll have all those pictures to look at years down the line, instead of hoping that you remember it. Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for contributing to this thread. I've just spent the last three weeks wading through every single post. This is absolutely a wealth of knowledge, and I've gotten a bunch of great ideas from here! Oh, and thanks for telling me 3 registries are okay. And since I like these stories, how about some more stories of how all of you got engaged? There were a few here and there, but I love the stories, and I'm quite sure I'm not the only one. And, for good measure, a little shot of the actual moment in Disney. Note what a complete blubbering mess I was.
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Jun 27, 2009 17:51
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Welp, got engaged last night. Who says you can't get engaged, start a small business AND move to Chicago all at the same time. 
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Jun 28, 2009 02:18
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Congratulations! Friendly Geek, your pictures made me really  . My boyfriend and I already feel like we're married (we've been living together for about a year) and I'm waiting for him to officially propose. We already know how and when we're getting married, but he knows I like a lot of spectacle and attention so he apparently has something planned. I'm excited!
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Jun 28, 2009 03:11
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Well, now that we have been together for nearly 6 years and living together for 3, we have been talking about getting married. We finally went down to a local jeweler and actually looked at rings today, and we know the setting she wants: http://www.mercuryring.com/jewelry.aspx?dep=1&cat=2&subcat=47&prod=1127 They didn't have any of that style in stock, so we have to wait to see if they can get a stock one in to see it in person. I worry we may not be able to get a demo ring in to see how it looks when not on a computer screen. Does anyone have experience buying a ring without seeing it in person, if they are not able to get a stock one in? They said it is a case-by-case basis for if they are able to get in a ring style that someone is interested in, without a commitment to buy. Apparently, they have to ask the vendor for one, and if the vendor has none ready we can't demo it. In a way it feels good to at least have gone in to the store knowing what band we were looking to get. But, I definitely am worried they won't be able to get a demo ring in, and I'd hate to have to buy without seeing it in person first. I'll be buying the gem on my own at a later time so that the end product is still a bit of a surprise, so that's going to be another thing to obsess about soon whoo boy.
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Jun 28, 2009 04:05
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Everyone, dish about honeymoons.  We're going to Vegas and I'm so excited. All of the crazy business of weddings will be behind me and I'll be spending time with my hubby in a city I've never gone to before.
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Jun 28, 2009 07:36
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The boy and I are going to the Bahamas! I've never been out of the country before, so I'm excited. Also the part where we lay on the beach and sip cocktails is cool too. Best part is that this vacation is right after the wedding and right before I start my senior year of college, which is going to be really rough. Have any of you girls/guys heard of the tradition for the rehearsal where the bride isn't supposed to actually....you know....rehearse? The pastor says I'm just supposed to watch and tell everyone how I want them to stand, and there will be a stand-in for me because the bride is 'only supposed to walk down the aisle once'.  I told the pastor that there is no way in hell I am not practicing the day before, as I've never even seen a wedding before! It kind of pisses me off that the bride is supposed to be the one who cares about every loving detail and should be born with an innate sense of what angle the bridesmaids should be standing at.  Oh and he said that I could do a practice run, but I had to know that I was ruining a centuries long rich tradition. I said I was okay with that.
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Jun 28, 2009 17:03
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tishthedish posted:I said I was okay with that. Good for you. I've never heard of that tradition and if it actually exists, it's a stupid one. We're going to see each other before the ceremony. There's a Japanese Garden nearby our ceremony/reception site and it will be so much easier to take pictures before than after and we've been living together for five years, so it seems kind of silly to care if we see each other or not. I'm not good at taking relaxing vacations and we're getting married half a country over from where we live, so we're not going to do the honeymoon right away. It's just too much (money). We might go hang out in New York or something for a few days though.
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Jun 28, 2009 17:30
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tishthedish posted:The pastor says I'm just supposed to watch and tell everyone how I want them to stand, and there will be a stand-in for me because the bride is 'only supposed to walk down the aisle once'. No problem, come in from the side during the practice run  Let him chew on that.
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Jun 28, 2009 18:43
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So I got married yesterday! Its just surreal sitting up at the alter with 100 people staring at you during the whole thing. Was a pretty short ceremony maybe an hour or so. Had a blast at the reception and everything turned out perfectly! Couldnt ask for a better day id post some pics but cant find the usb cord for my camera
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Jun 28, 2009 20:38
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Hello all! Long time lurker, first time poster...because I got engaged just over a week ago! I have two questions that I thought all of you with experience could help with. Firstly, we're thinking about doing a small cake (like two-three small tiers approx. the size of a plate) for us to cut, and then a sheet cake for everyone to eat. Has anyone had this work out well for them? Have you came across any cool designs? I'm thinking of something very modern and chique...no cake toppers or crazy designs. Secondly, we're thinking of honeymooning in the Carribbean somewhere, and the closer to the US the better. Basically, we have a budget of no more than 2800$ allocated for the honeymoon (not including airfare) and we know we want 1. somewhere beachfront and 2. somewhere where we can do alot of stuff like tours, snorkeling, etc. Hawaii is pretty much out because we're on the East coast and don't want to spend all our days on a plane. Have any of you stayed somewhere that fits this bill pretty closely and that you would recommend? I've been looking at places online, but there are just so many it feels really overwhelming. Thanks for the advice and congrats to all you new brides and grooms out there! I can't wait for it to be my turn.
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Jun 29, 2009 00:21
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ucmallory posted:Secondly, we're thinking of honeymooning in the Carribbean somewhere, and the closer to the US the better. Basically, we have a budget of no more than 2800$ allocated for the honeymoon (not including airfare) and we know we want 1. somewhere beachfront and 2. somewhere where we can do alot of stuff like tours, snorkeling, etc. Hawaii is pretty much out because we're on the East coast and don't want to spend all our days on a plane. Have any of you stayed somewhere that fits this bill pretty closely and that you would recommend? I've been looking at places online, but there are just so many it feels really overwhelming. Thanks for the advice and congrats to all you new brides and grooms out there! I can't wait for it to be my turn. Puerto Rico! You dont even need a passport to come and I am sure you can have a nice vacation within your budget. You can go to the beach, go to Old San Juan, and even visit a tropical rainforest!
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Jun 29, 2009 01:08
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Quick question... Has anyone ever heard of having a couple male bridesmaids and a couple female groomsmen? My fiancee and I want to do that but my mom didn't seem too keen on the idea. We're gonna do it anyway but she is worried that people will dislike the idea. What are some thoughts or opinions? (I am also aware that it is OUR wedding so we can do what we want, and we will be doing this idea, just interested in learning more about this specifically.) Thanks!
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Jun 29, 2009 01:39
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ATwoSlotToaster posted:Quick question... Has anyone ever heard of having a couple male bridesmaids and a couple female groomsmen? My fiancee and I want to do that but my mom didn't seem too keen on the idea. We're gonna do it anyway but she is worried that people will dislike the idea. What are some thoughts or opinions? (I am also aware that it is OUR wedding so we can do what we want, and we will be doing this idea, just interested in learning more about this specifically.) Thanks! I think someone was talking about it earlier in the thread. I can't think of a problem with it, and if people are really going to be actually offended by it, I'd say those people are crazy. Your mom is probably just kinda old fashioned, but I bet it won't kill her or really even upset her if that's the way you decide to go. I'm sure as long as the wedding goes smoothly, she'll realize there was never even a problem. Sometimes you just have to prove that it'll work before some people will accept less than traditional ways of doing things, you know?
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Jun 29, 2009 02:23
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ATwoSlotToaster posted:Quick question... Has anyone ever heard of having a couple male bridesmaids and a couple female groomsmen? My fiancee and I want to do that but my mom didn't seem too keen on the idea. We're gonna do it anyway but she is worried that people will dislike the idea. What are some thoughts or opinions? (I am also aware that it is OUR wedding so we can do what we want, and we will be doing this idea, just interested in learning more about this specifically.) Thanks! We're having a female groomsman. It's not that strange nowadays. There are even articles about it on the knot, which certainly makes it mainstream. http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/bridal-party/qa/male-maid-of-honor.aspx
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Jun 29, 2009 02:24
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Awesome, glad to hear it isn't actually rare. I did some looking around and found out a ton of others actually have done this so that is good to hear! Thanks!!!
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Jun 29, 2009 03:07
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Hawkeye posted:Does anyone have experience buying a ring without seeing it in person, if they are not able to get a stock one in? Sure, we sell engagement rings all the time to people over long distances using only photos. If you show up to get the ring and it is not as advertised you can always demand a refund. But you're probably going to be A-OK. Mercury makes nice goods.
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Jun 29, 2009 03:36
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Hawkeye, I was going to send you a PM (but you don't have plat), but make sure that you're paying under the listed price on that website. $1,500 is ~$500 higher than that setting should be.
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Jun 29, 2009 03:38
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Zealous Abattoir posted:Puerto Rico! You dont even need a passport to come and I am sure you can have a nice vacation within your budget. You can go to the beach, go to Old San Juan, and even visit a tropical rainforest! I second this. I just went last summer. Old San Juan was pretty cool. I would recommend trying to find a time of year that it won't be too hot though. Old San Juan, for instance, would have been much more fun if I didn't feel like I was going to pass out if I was outside for more than an hour. EDIT: The huge fort there is amazing. I think it's also where the Pirates of the Caribbean ride is supposed to be (I only know because immediately after Puerto Rico, we went to Disneyworld.) uberwekkness fucked around with this message at 05:23 on Jun 29, 2009 |
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Jun 29, 2009 05:21
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uberwekkness posted:I second this. I just went last summer. Old San Juan was pretty cool. I would recommend trying to find a time of year that it won't be too hot though. Old San Juan, for instance, would have been much more fun if I didn't feel like I was going to pass out if I was outside for more than an hour. You are talking about El Morro, and yes it is. Also, nowhere in the Caribbean is good for summer, the heatwaves are hard even for the locals. I recommend on coming on the fall or early spring, due to the weather, and because winter is tourist season in the Caribbean and anywhere you go will be more expensive.
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Jun 29, 2009 08:11
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