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We got our rings today! Cocobolo on the outside and silver on the inside. The wood is sustainably collected (picked up pieces from the ground, I'm told) and the silver is recycled. Exciting! Edit: Whoa, attaching the picture made the rings darker than they are. They are more cherry color.
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Jul 11, 2009 23:08
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They look beautiful! Do you know how durable they're supposed to be?
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Jul 11, 2009 23:10
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As long as I don't wear them in water (washing hands is ok), I've been told a lifetime. It does require a yearly oil polishing.
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Jul 12, 2009 00:14
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iloverice posted:We got our rings today! Cocobolo on the outside and silver on the inside. The wood is sustainably collected (picked up pieces from the ground, I'm told) and the silver is recycled. Exciting! sorry if i missed it in the thread - where did you get these from? they're absolutely beautiful.
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Jul 12, 2009 02:47
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I was told I'm supposed to post pictures of the ring She doesn't dig diamonds which is great cost-wise, but everyplace that you go in and ask "I'm looking for an engagement ring but not diamonds" they would always offer me a diamond with another gem. Furthermore, her ring size is 4 so that made things even more difficult. I ended up finding it online at a specialty shop. I actually feel a little guilty not spending 2 months salary but this is what she wants. edit: for image hugeness
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Jul 12, 2009 04:27
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Non-Player posted:sorry if i missed it in the thread - where did you get these from? they're absolutely beautiful. Etsy! Here is the guy that I bought them from.
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Jul 12, 2009 05:44
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Rufus T. Turnbuckle posted:I actually feel a little guilty not spending 2 months salary but this is what she wants. You'll get over this..
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Jul 12, 2009 14:41
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Wasn't the two month salary thing made up by de beers? Or was that made up by men who didn't want to spend 2 months salary! I went for 1 month's and it made no difference to the impact or meaning. W-day is end of september and it's going to be in France! Anyone know what is normally done for the bar? I've heard it's typically self service, but that's not always practical (or with some people sensible).
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Jul 12, 2009 15:41
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Rufus T. Turnbuckle posted:I was told I'm supposed to post pictures of the ring No reason to feel guilty over that ring, it's gorgeous! I'm sure she will love it 
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Jul 12, 2009 21:24
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Planning a honeymoon sucks rear end. We hate the "sit on a beach and bake" poo poo, but theres so many places in Europe to go we just cannot decide.
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Jul 13, 2009 19:08
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FidgetyRat posted:Again, I keep spouting this, but again we saved a ton of money by making our own.. For ours we took some simple pictures of ourselves together holding up little signs.. 4 frames each one "Save" "The" "Date" and the fourth with the date.. Are your initials by chance J. D. G.? Because I think you are friends with my roommate, and I think I have one of these hanging on my fridge. (Or else someone else has done this exact idea)
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Jul 13, 2009 20:02
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Rashomon posted:Are your initials by chance J. D. G.? Because I think you are friends with my roommate, and I think I have one of these hanging on my fridge. (Or else someone else has done this exact idea) I think it's become pretty common recently, I've seen a few of these photo booth save the dates. they are cute though.
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Jul 13, 2009 21:18
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Rashomon posted:Are your initials by chance J. D. G.? Because I think you are friends with my roommate, and I think I have one of these hanging on my fridge. (Or else someone else has done this exact idea) Yeah, we got the idea from a family friend's wedding a few years back.. And no, thats not me, I'm better looking then that guy.
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Jul 14, 2009 12:41
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What are your general thoughts on family rings in terms of suitability for an engagement, specifically what kind of ring and where it's coming from? I really thought I had made an ok decision, but while my fiancee said yes to the engagement, she turned down the ring. I'm at a loss to make an objective decision on whether she's being reasonable or not. We had talked before about rings and she said she would be happy with a family ring, so I didn't just pull this idea out of my rear end. Now she's saying she would only take a hand me down ring if it was used previously in an actual engagement. The ring I used was a three stone diamond ring my dad gave my mom for their 30th anniversary, not some costume jewelry pulled out of a box of trinkets. Does being an anniversary present make it not meaningful enough? She says that she doesn't like that it was an 'unused' ring that was just 'laying around' (my mom didn't wear it regularly) and it's just 'a way to save some money'. So, is this a reasonable complaint?
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Jul 14, 2009 16:37
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Sure. If all you care about is how much money someone spent. I can see her point, in that it has no true sentimental value. But if its pretty, who cares? Seriously. What if you got a brand new ring on super-clearance sale? Would she ask for something else to "make up the difference?" She sounds like a psycho.
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Jul 14, 2009 16:41
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EchoBase posted:The ring I used was a three stone diamond ring my dad gave my mom for their 30th anniversary, not some costume jewelry pulled out of a box of trinkets. Does being an anniversary present make it not meaningful enough? She says that she doesn't like that it was an 'unused' ring that was just 'laying around' (my mom didn't wear it regularly) and it's just 'a way to save some money'. Yes she is being unreasonable. WTF, it was a 30th anniversary gift, I would consider that a lot more meaningful than a family engagement ring. People get engaged and married all the time, but not that many stay together for 30 years. As far as "unused" goes, does she have some minimum number of times it had to be worn or something? I know my grandma has several rings given to her by my grandpa for different occasions that she rotates, so they are not worn all the time, but I would be honored to receive any of those as an engagement gift. Honestly, I think she's just pissed that you didn't spend a bunch of money on her. eta: If she just thinks it's ugly or not her style, I can sort of see her not wanting to wear it since it will be an everyday piece of jewelry. But it doesn't sound like that's her objection. I don't know, the way you put it kind of makes her sound like a real bitch. Hopefully that's not the case. Silver String fucked around with this message at 16:56 on Jul 14, 2009 |
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Jul 14, 2009 16:53
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Eris posted:I can see her point, in that it has no true sentimental value. That is not true one bit.. It has complete sentimental value now that he proposed with it. I personally would be insulted by her reasoning. My fiancée is very picky about things she wears (so am I for that matter) so to avoid any such issues, I decided to let her pick her own ring.. I proposed with a giant paper weight and we went ring shopping the next day.. If she's not being a royal bitch about the ring and you just made her come off that way, then maybe consider something like this.. If not, whoa, you're in for a bumpy road.
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Jul 14, 2009 17:30
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EchoBase posted:She says that she doesn't like that it was an 'unused' ring that was just 'laying around' (my mom didn't wear it regularly) and it's just 'a way to save some money'. No, she sounds crazy. Would it make her feel better if you reimbursed your dad for the amount he paid for it? 
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Jul 14, 2009 18:03
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FidgetyRat posted:That is not true one bit.. It has complete sentimental value now that he proposed with it. I personally would be insulted by her reasoning. You know what I meant! I think. I could see her being "well, it hasn't been in your family for billions of years" which in her head could excuse the "cheapness." But in any case, I think the woman sounds like a psycho.
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Jul 14, 2009 18:11
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Eris posted:You know what I meant! I think. I could see her being "well, it hasn't been in your family for billions of years" which in her head could excuse the "cheapness." But in any case, I think the woman sounds like a psycho. Yeah, I follow you.. But she's a bitch if she thinks it has NO sentimental value. In a way this sucks for him because now no matter what ring she gets, she may have already ruined the engagement memory by crapping on it… now if she really crapped on the ring…
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Jul 14, 2009 18:45
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I have a question about etiquette regarding a recent wedding I was in. To make a long story really short, the bride made us bridesmaids pay her 50 apiece bucks for hair/makeup deposit. The bride told us that she had to put this on her credit card when she booked our appointments and needed reimbursed to pay her card back asap. This was about a month or two before the wedding. Wedding day comes and at the salon we find out the bride did NOT in fact pay a deposit for our hair/makeup and we had to pay full price. This was unexpected and some of the girls didn't even have enough money to cover it because we had already given the bride half the amount and were told on the day of the wedding we'd only have to pay whatever was left. It has been about a month and a half since the wedding and the bride has made no mention of getting our money back to us. She is in a ton of debt from her wedding because she couldn't afford it in the first place so is it completely out of line to ask about the money this soon after the wedding? What do you guys think would be an acceptable amount of time or should I just forget about the whole thing? Any suggestions would be appreciated.
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Jul 14, 2009 18:48
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FidgetyRat posted:Yeah, I follow you.. But she's a bitch if she thinks it has NO sentimental value. In a way this sucks for him because now no matter what ring she gets, she may have already ruined the engagement memory by crapping on it… now if she really crapped on the ring… Seriously...you really shouldn't be complaining about an engagement ring unless something is terribly wrong with it. I would take this as a signal that you might want to reevaluate this girl as wife material.
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Jul 14, 2009 19:04
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special girl posted:She is in a ton of debt from her wedding because she couldn't afford it in the first place so is it completely out of line to ask about the money this soon after the wedding? Let's play mad libs with this, and you decide. special girl posted:She is in a ton of debt from her gambling problem because she couldn't afford it in the first place so is it completely out of line to ask about the money this soon after her trip to vegas? special girl posted:She is in a ton of debt from her excessive spending because she couldn't afford it in the first place so is it completely out of line to ask about the money this soon after her shopping spree? special girl posted:She is in a ton of debt from her super-villain pledges because she couldn't afford it in the first place so is it completely out of line to ask about the money this soon after doomsday?
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Jul 14, 2009 19:05
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special girl posted:I have a question about etiquette regarding a recent wedding I was in. To make a long story really short, the bride made us bridesmaids pay her 50 apiece bucks for hair/makeup deposit. The bride told us that she had to put this on her credit card when she booked our appointments and needed reimbursed to pay her card back asap. This was about a month or two before the wedding. How close are you to this person? The fact that you never refer to her as "my friend" is somewhat telling. Were it me, I would just let it slide, either way. If it's a friend, she's probably worth $50. If she's not a friend, avoiding the drama of "Bitch betta have my money" is worth $50 in my eyes, too. But if $50 is a significant amount, at least try to phrase it gently. Like, bring it up over coffee or a date out with the rest of the bridesmaids. Not on a collections call or something.
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Jul 14, 2009 19:06
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special girl posted:I have a question about etiquette regarding a recent wedding I was in. That is really lovely of her.. I just recently got a call from one of our brides maids that she got a $400 medical bill and she can't come with us after the wedding to our after-party in AC.. We are going to pay for her part of the hotel room because she's been so drat helpful through the whole process. I can understand the deposit, but then to keep it and pretend it didn't happen is VERY lovely, especially after what you are shelling out to BE a brides maid in the first place.
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Jul 14, 2009 19:31
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EchoBase posted:What are your general thoughts on family rings in terms of suitability for an engagement, specifically what kind of ring and where it's coming from? I really thought I had made an ok decision, but while my fiancee said yes to the engagement, she turned down the ring. I'm at a loss to make an objective decision on whether she's being reasonable or not. We had talked before about rings and she said she would be happy with a family ring, so I didn't just pull this idea out of my rear end. Now she's saying she would only take a hand me down ring if it was used previously in an actual engagement. I'm going to tentatively side with your fiancee on this one, bear with me. You said that previously she agreed that she would be happy with a family ring. Perhaps at that point she was expecting to be presented with great-grandma's Art Deco heirloom rock, but instead got a newish basic 3-stone ring that (to her) seems like the one everyone sees in the Kay's Jewelry commercials. Maybe, in the heat of the moment, she was very disappointed/upset/aghast that the ring you gave her was so different from what she was expecting to receive. Maybe she really just wanted a ring that had been worn and loved for years, not something that though pretty and heartfelt, had been sitting in a jewelry box mostly unworn. Have you discussed with her after she's had a chance to calm down why her reaction was the way it was? I agree with the other posters who say that the ring has sentimentality as soon as YOU give it to her, that if it's pretty she shouldn't complain, etc. I'm just trying to giver her the benefit of the doubt here.
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Jul 14, 2009 19:40
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special girl posted:I have a question about etiquette regarding a recent wedding I was in. To make a long story really short, the bride made us bridesmaids pay her 50 apiece bucks for hair/makeup deposit. The bride told us that she had to put this on her credit card when she booked our appointments and needed reimbursed to pay her card back asap. This was about a month or two before the wedding. What she may have thought was a deposit was just a hold on her credit card. Enough time has gone by that I would just give her a call to let her know, and ask for your money back. If that was on top of having to pay for a dress, shoes, etc., I would definitely want to get that back. EchoBase Regarding the "non" sentimental ring, is it possible that she just doesn't like it, and is just expressing it really awkwardly? Maye when you talked to her about it before and got the okay, there was a particular ring on her side of the family she had in mind? I dunno, I was pretty picky about my ring and this still seems a little unreasonable to me.
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Jul 14, 2009 19:42
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EchoBase posted:A three stone diamond ring Three stone diamond rings are very common for engagements. I have a style on my website that is priced from $3,000 to $123,000 depending on size. It's a very popular engagement style. My wife's diamond ring was a secondhand piece of estate jewelry. To be honest, it is not the kind of ring you would expect a diamond merchant's wife to wear but it was what I could afford at the time. She treasures it and has refused numerous attempts to upgrade it. There's always the thought that your fiance feels you recycled a ring to be selfishly cheap. Some women feel their fiance didn't think they were worth buying a ring (very likely if your fiance has low self confidence). If it's a problem of perception I would recommend having the diamonds reset into a new three stone design. If you can't reconcile this I recommend breaking off your engagement. You two need to spend a lot of time talking to figure out what you're going to do.
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Jul 14, 2009 19:59
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FidgetyRat posted:That is really lovely of her.. I just recently got a call from one of our brides maids that she got a $400 medical bill and she can't come with us after the wedding to our after-party in AC.. We are going to pay for her part of the hotel room because she's been so drat helpful through the whole process. That is very generous of you! You make a good point about how much it actually costs to be a bridesmaid. I paid a total of $800 just to be in her wedding. That is with the dress, hair/makeup, shoes, and cost of the hotel since it was out of town. This is the only reason I was even thinking about asking for the money back.
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Jul 14, 2009 20:13
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ixo posted:How close are you to this person? The fact that you never refer to her as "my friend" is somewhat telling. Were it me, I would just let it slide, either way. If it's a friend, she's probably worth $50. If she's not a friend, avoiding the drama of "Bitch betta have my money" is worth $50 in my eyes, too. But if $50 is a significant amount, at least try to phrase it gently. Like, bring it up over coffee or a date out with the rest of the bridesmaids. Not on a collections call or something. She's not an extremely close friend, but I do like the girl don't get me wrong. I only met her through my boyfriend's circle of friends about 2 years ago. I'll probably just let it slide unless the other bridesmaids decide to say something. I just wanted to know if asking for it was completely inappropriate. Thanks for your input.
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Jul 14, 2009 20:18
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Nexus-6 posted:Perhaps at that point she was expecting to be presented with great-grandma's Art Deco heirloom rock, but instead got a newish basic 3-stone ring that (to her) seems like the one everyone sees in the Kay's Jewelry commercials. Well even if something like that is the case, if she made a general statement that a "family ring" was fine, then she was wrong. I know in my boyfriend's family that could probably cover anything from a 1920s setting with a whopper diamond, to a plain band, to some 1970s fuggo cluster ring, all with varying levels of how often it was worn, and if if was an original engagement ring or an upgrade. If you're gonna say you're fine with a family ring, you should probably be open to every budget, lifestyle, and style option from the past 70 years.
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Jul 14, 2009 21:01
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nmarie33 posted:Well even if something like that is the case, if she made a general statement that a "family ring" was fine, then she was wrong. I know in my boyfriend's family that could probably cover anything from a 1920s setting with a whopper diamond, to a plain band, to some 1970s fuggo cluster ring, all with varying levels of how often it was worn, and if if was an original engagement ring or an upgrade. If you're gonna say you're fine with a family ring, you should probably be open to every budget, lifestyle, and style option from the past 70 years. You're right, and she probably didn't think that far ahead.
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Jul 14, 2009 21:30
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Well after using this thread to help me pick out ring and engagement ideas here’s an update if anyone cares So it’s around 7 months till the wedding Reception Hall – Check DJ – Check Band – Check Invites are down to 280 guests…we have to find a way to cut at least 20 off the list Food - no clue yet Cake – Nothing yet And I still need to get a suit/tux But what’s really driving me insane are Honeymoon ideas, I’m already in the Caribbean so I’d like a change in pace. Was thinking of maybe a cruise or Vegas for a week? Maybe its time and for an Ask/Tell Honeymoon Thread
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Jul 14, 2009 21:58
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EchoBase posted:The ring I used was a three stone diamond ring my dad gave my mom for their 30th anniversary, not some costume jewelry pulled out of a box of trinkets. Does being an anniversary present make it not meaningful enough? She says that she doesn't like that it was an 'unused' ring that was just 'laying around' (my mom didn't wear it regularly) and it's just 'a way to save some money'. I'm going to give you a bitchier perspective. It sounds like she might think you copped out - some people place a lot of value on the guy's sacrificing to save up for a ring. It sounds like this ring has no sentimental value to anybody - there's no "story" to it to tie it to you*, you got it from your parents after your dad paid off the whole thing and your mom didn't wear it much. Some people don't like three-stone rings (because they are usually associated with anniversaries). Or, her girlfriends might all be gushing about how their husbs picked out the perfect ring and it's like he knows everything I love and he's so perfect - but she gets to tell them that you picked yours out of mom's jewelry box. Oh god I should never get married - this is all stuff I've learned from watching my mom's side of the family get married one by one and they'll do the same thing to me.  PS, I've seen lots of tacky, costume-looking engagement rings on Etsy, as well as some gorgeous ones like the silver-and-wood ones on this page. It's all about knowing where to look on the site. "Sort by price" isn't going to work. *Many people say "family heirloom" when they really mean "my grandfather didn't eat for a month to buy this and escaped the Nazis and smuggled this out of wartime Poland in his rectum for four months on a steamship to propose to grandma when she met him at Ellis Island and blah blah" or whatever. "Dad gave it to Mom and she never wears it, so here you go" is obviously going to conflict with that ideal.
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Jul 14, 2009 22:09
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demozthenes posted:Insight. I think there's a lot of great perspective in that post.
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Jul 15, 2009 00:15
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l_th posted:But what’s really driving me insane are Honeymoon ideas, I’m already in the Caribbean so I’d like a change in pace. Was thinking of maybe a cruise or Vegas for a week? I'm having the same problem you are. I'm from the Caribbean so I don't want an island, or heat of any sort, really. We're looking into cruises in Northern Europe (since everything in the south is like "Hey Spain! Beaches!") and while they're more sparse and pricey, they seem pretty neat. I've been on a cruise to Alaska and that was really pretty (and not the Caribbean).
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Jul 15, 2009 01:25
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What time of year are you all thinking about going on a honeymoon? That might narrow down your choices a bit.
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Jul 15, 2009 01:33
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demozthenes posted:
quote:you picked yours out of mom's jewelry box. quote:*Many people say "family heirloom" when they really mean "my grandfather didn't eat for a month to buy this and escaped the Nazis and smuggled this out of wartime Poland in his rectum for four months on a steamship to propose to grandma when she met him at Ellis Island and blah blah" or whatever. "Dad gave it to Mom and she never wears it, so here you go" is obviously going to conflict with that ideal. Word. Sorry dude. I don't see her as some sort of supabitch for not being thrilled over your mom's unwanted anniversary ring when it's completely reasonable for her to believe she was getting something passed down through generations of your family.
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Jul 15, 2009 01:55
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She's being kind of a bitch, but you also did completely not what she thought was going to happen. When I hear 'family ring' I don't think of some ring that isn't ever worn, I think of a ring that was worn for a long time or is old with a really interesting setting or something that has either a lot of sentimental value or a lot of aesthetic interest. I'd have been disappointed too, to be honest. I did inherit the diamond from his mother's engagement ring, but my (as of yesterday) husband had a setting custom made in white gold with platinum prongs or whatever holding the stone in. It's a really nice gesture and means a lot to me that his mom was willing to give him the diamond (it's a really incredible ~1 carat round cut diamond; I've inadvertently nearly caused accidents when the sun hit it just right and got in my eyes while driving), but I'm not stuck with a setting I don't like. I bet she wouldn't have complained so much if you had gotten a custom setting made up for her.
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Jul 15, 2009 02:03
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RedFish posted:
I understand what she thought, but so what? It didn't match her ideal romantic vision. So, she ... refused it? Because it didn't have a backstory that matched her fantasy? From what I can tell, marriage is about real life and taking the bumps as they come - not matching up to some romantic fantasy. Maybe she isn't a superbitch, but I certainly wouldn't want to marry someone with their head in the clouds.
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Jul 15, 2009 02:11
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