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Hawkeye posted:unfortunately she is set on the particular setting, so no luck there. But at this point I do plan on buying to stone online and biting the bullet on the gem regardless of the added cost of setting it. It seems worth it to get the better quality gem, even if I have to go slightly smaller due to the added fees of having it not come from the store itself. Didn't you say the store had to consult the manufacturer? Shouldn't be too hard to find out A) who it is and B) what other merchants they work with.
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Jul 19, 2009 22:46
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covener posted:Didn't you say the store had to consult the manufacturer? Shouldn't be too hard to find out A) who it is and B) what other merchants they work with. I found some other merchants they work with after posting my message saturday. My plan is to call them and ask for quotes for (1) the ring and (2) to mount a diamond on it if the diamond does not come from them. Thanks for letting me rant here folks!
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Jul 19, 2009 23:51
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So, I'm not engaged yet, but my boyfriend finally brought up the topic about wanting to get engaged and married in the next year or two. So although I don't have to start the crazy planning yet I have a couple questions about rings. I would really love a lab made diamond and I was wondering if people know of any places other than the couple listed in the OP. I really like the stuff from Green Karat, specifically this one. however, this is wayyy out of our budget and I really do not want him to spend that much money on a ring. Has anyone dealt with this company before? Would it be reasonable to ask them if this setting could be done with a sapphire instead? (I really like the setting most of all.) Also do local jewelry stores carry synthetic diamonds or is it mostly just online? I'm somewhat confused about what to be looking for too because of the note in the OP about certain websites that carry diamond simulants. When i search for synthetic diamonds i get a lot of sites but im not sure which ones are legit lab made diamonds and which ones are simulants. thanks
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Jul 20, 2009 01:54
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Calee21 posted:The diamond simulants websites I mention are basically glass/cubic zirconia. The reason I warn against them is that they try to confuse you into thinking that you are getting a lab-created diamond when it's not. If you want a cubic zirconia that's fine - but the websites charge you way too much for what you actually get. Last time I checked, the science/business behind the lab-created stuff was still behind demand. There are/were few places that carry lab-diamonds and true white lab-diamonds were very rare. Someone who is in the actual diamond business might be more up on this than I am.
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Jul 20, 2009 02:23
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Mini-meltdown today. Wedding's in six days. Me  Future Mother-in-law  Future Grandma-in-law  Here's the latest seating chart. I know you said you wanted some changes, right? Yup. Let me make some changes.... Okay, I think my changes are done. Sounds good. This looks great. I'll start typing up the place cards. I'm going to go to the grocery store. Okay, see you later!... *at grocery store* *telephone rings* Hello? Hi, you remember that family we didn't invite? Yeah, I asked for the address and you said that we shouldn't invite them because they just had a baby. Yeah, well, I invited them.  Yeah. You wouldn't give me the address. It's six days from the wedding. The RSVP deadline was three weeks ago. The seating chart is done. And you invited them? Yup. So, try and find a place to put seven people. They're a big family. ... *telephone rings* Hello? I hope you haven't printed the place cards yet. I love my new in-laws to death, but my fiance's paternal grandmother are a real piece of work. But they already gave us some great gifts, and they took us out to dinner tonight, so I might be able to forgive and forget. But still.  (we're going to put the extra family in a different room by themselves. There is nothing else we can do. All of our other tables have a maximum of three seats open, and that's after a decent amount of shuffling)
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Jul 20, 2009 03:05
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ih8ualot posted:
Thats exactly why when I designed our seating cards, I left the table # to be hand-written the day before. And I hear you about grandmothers.. Mine's just now talking poo poo that my marriage is fake because its not in a church.. Guess that whole legal system doesn't matter in the eyes of the Jeeezusss!
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Jul 20, 2009 12:52
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Time for me to discuss the mini-meltdown. I actually saw this coming a long time ago, and I bet its quite high on the list of horrid wedding disasters. Backstory: My fiancee and I have been dating for 9 years. We've been engaged for roughly two. The wedding is scheduled for Mid September. 2 years ago my fiancee converted to Judaism. My fiancee's mother remarried and had 2 children. One of them is extremely handicapped(child#1) (combine autism, muscular dystrophy, epilepsy, and some other litany of ailments together). This child is developmentally disabled and can not control himself, in private or public. He is wheelchair bound. The other child(#2) is a complete brat due to acting out to get attention which he doesn't get since all the energy is spent on the handicapped child, but child#2 isn't the topic of this issue. During the last 2 years, my parents have helped in preparations for this wedding, and while we have not recieved any financial contributions from them, emotional contributions count for something. Her (mother's side) of the family has not contributed in any way, emotionally, mentally, monetarily, or physically. I had begun to think that her mother did not like me. Fast forward to last week: I had sent an email to all sides of the family to make sure we hadn't missed anyone and included a list of the invitees. Her mother writes back(this is a paraphrase) "This list is fine, but please add #1's nurse/assistant. Also, lord1234, can you have your mother plan/organize/throw the bridal shower for my daughter. I'm too busy with work."After discussing it, both fiancee and I had decided that it would be both emotionally easier and financially easier to see if the mother would leave this child with the nurse at home. My family doesn't know her family very well, and frankly they don't revolve in the same social circles, so I don't see them being great friends. Fast Forward to yesterday: After discussing this all together, fiancee txts the mother and says "lord1234 and I would like to invite you out for dinner, we want to talk to you about a bunch of wedding stuff". After a bunch of texts traded back in forth which involve my fiancee saying "come to dinner" and her mother trying to get the reasons behind it out of her, the final statement is "Lord1234 can email me any problems he has, me and you can talk about it if you want, but I don't want him there". Her mother is extremely passive-agressive and we're not putting up with it anymore, and tell her such in a phone call. This is followed by a voice mail from the step-father which involves him telling my fiancee how much her family despises me and so on(i have not heard the full text of the message, but the words I heard, and what my fiancee told me, that was the gist). We(probably stupidly) gave in and just called and explained, that it would be easier for us if the handicapped child was left at home. This lead to a blowout of epic proportion which ends with If he's not invited you're out of this side of the family.and then We're not coming to your weddingand after we were both asleep(and she had spent a good amount of time crying her eyes out) You know, St. Patrick's will forgive and convert you back when you're ready.PS: frankly, i hold no love for that side of her family. I think they are terrible people who have treated this daughter(she has an older sister who is another post all in itself) as a second class citizen even though she has done things that noone else in this family has (such as graduate college). However, I also understand that this is her family, and wish she wasn't being put through this hell. PPS: this morning the mother is sending more text messages which fiancee is fwd, because they are retarded: Stepdad once had a coworker who cancelled his own wedding 4 days before it. He had no regrets. Proves my point 100 percent! Hes so controlling & manipulative he even branwashed his own mother that child#1 is a circus freak! Stop being so niaeve & reading between the lines. Wake up & smell the coffee! Everyone sees it but u! U r being controlled, brainwashed, manipulated. Grow some balls girl!Misspellings left in text messages to keep them accurate.
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Jul 20, 2009 14:12
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I'm confused. Did you actually un-invite your fiancee's half-sibling instead of just inviting along their nurse/caretaker?
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Jul 20, 2009 14:54
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It's not solely a monetary issue. It would be easier for all the people involved. It has nothing to do with a caretaker. I'll be honest, part of me expects to start getting a ration of poo poo because i'm being "insensitive" to a handicapped child. It's about FMIL trying to constantly control everything, even though she doesn't want to give anything.
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Jul 20, 2009 14:59
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I'm going to have to side with her your fiancee's mother here. How could you uninvite her half-sibling? How do you expect them to react? That's incredibly rude and tasteless. Just because your families don't run in the same circles doesn't mean that her immediate family has less of a right to be at the wedding than yours.
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Jul 20, 2009 15:02
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smoke detector posted:I'm going to have to side with her your fiancee's mother here. How could you uninvite her half-sibling? How do you expect them to react? That's incredibly rude and tasteless. Just because your families don't run in the same circles doesn't mean that her immediate family has less of a right to be at the wedding than yours. There is much much much more backstory that you have no idea of. I couldn't bring myself to write it all out.
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Jul 20, 2009 15:12
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To me, it doesn't matter what the backstory is. Unless her brother attempted to kill you while you were sleeping there is no reason why you need to punish him for the sins of his mother. Simple as that.
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Jul 20, 2009 15:16
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smoke detector posted:To me, it doesn't matter what the backstory is. Unless her brother attempted to kill you while you were sleeping there is no reason why you need to punish him for the sins of his mother. Simple as that. its not about punishing the brother. I feel it would be much more difficult for the brother to sit through a 7+hour event then it would be for him to stay at home with the PCA.
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Jul 20, 2009 15:18
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lord1234 posted:its not about punishing the brother. I feel it would be much more difficult for the brother to sit through a 7+hour event then it would be for him to stay at home with the PCA. Is the child going to be disruptive? If it's going to be one of those situations where the child is going to be screaming and causing a scene for the entirety of the ceremony, then it was not unreasonable, if inappropriate, to ask if he would be more comfortable at home rather than sitting through said 7 hour event.
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Jul 20, 2009 15:43
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Anybody have any thoughts/experiences with portside weddings? We are considering getting a package through Carnival or one of the other cruise lines. Carnival has a package where we get married and have a luncheon reception, then the new wife and I (plus anyone else who would want to come) would ship out for 4 or 7 days. Right now its our favorite idea, but my mother only brought it up yesterday. We still really love Balboa Park in San Diego if the ship idea doesn't pan out.
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Jul 20, 2009 15:45
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RedFish posted:Is the child going to be disruptive? If it's going to be one of those situations where the child is going to be screaming and causing a scene for the entirety of the ceremony, then it was not unreasonable, if inappropriate, to ask if he would be more comfortable at home rather than sitting through said 7 hour event. yes. It has the potential to be that. The goal was to make the point that it was OUR wedding. about US. We did not want people to be looking at this screaming/disruptive child at our wedding and taking attention off of us.
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Jul 20, 2009 15:47
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lord1234 posted:yes. It has the potential to be that. The goal was to make the point that it was OUR wedding. about US. We did not want people to be looking at this screaming/disruptive child at our wedding and taking attention off of us. You are a psycho. An incredibly insecure psycho. Also, why would his parents have to "give" anything!? It's your wedding. Your desire to have some giant affair that takes years and apparently multiple people to plan. Your responsibility. And it's weird that you are trying to pretend that this is better for "everyone involved" instead of just yourself, since you made it clear that this is really about your special princess day.
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Jul 20, 2009 15:49
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lord1234 posted:its not about punishing the brother. I feel it would be much more difficult for the brother to sit through a 7+hour event then it would be for him to stay at home with the PCA. You probably should have made it either an entirely child and baby-free event or provided a child care area for children/babies for people who wanted to attend the wedding/reception - that way the children and babies could all stay out of the way during the ceremony and your fiancee's family wouldn't have felt singled out. This will piss more people off but would hopefully not be as insulting to a major member of your soon to be family. Eris posted:You are a psycho. An incredibly insecure psycho. A good portion of people today don't like the idea of paying for a wedding and then having a baby or child scream through their entire vows. As you mentioned - they paid for it, it's their special occassion/party and no one else's - they therefore get to set the terms of the day just like hosts of any other party. This is not a crazy concept and is why "adult only weddings" and pre-arranged child care are becoming more common. They want to avoid having anything go terribly wrong on their wedding day. There's nothing psycho about it, they just didn't handle it very well. KarmaCandy fucked around with this message at 16:00 on Jul 20, 2009 |
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Jul 20, 2009 15:51
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Eris posted:You are a psycho. An incredibly insecure psycho. I'm the male in the relationship. It took years to plan because we were taking our time while my fiancee(female) finished college. Again, you're doing the same thing her mother does which is focusing on the financial aspect of it. You're telling me that your parents/or your fiancee's parents gave you no support whatsoever during your wedding planning? NOT MONEY, but even a call about going to the dress fitting, or some such. Personally, at the beginning(and I wish I had pushed harder) I pushed for just getting married, gently caress this reception/ceremony. She wanted her big bad wedding, and I think now neither of us really want it, and might just call the ceremony off and return all the gifts we've recieved so far(not that many). Edit: after a reread of your post, and my OP, it seems you didn't read my post thoroughly. Since I specified that my fiancee was the daughter of the "issue at hand". lord1234 fucked around with this message at 16:09 on Jul 20, 2009 |
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Jul 20, 2009 15:55
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lord1234 posted:yes. It has the potential to be that. The goal was to make the point that it was OUR wedding. about US. We did not want people to be looking at this screaming/disruptive child at our wedding and taking attention off of us. Most of this thread I have noticed is that yes, it should be all about the bride and groom. Not the screaming kid. I wish you luck in getting this situation ironed out. I also wanted to let folks know that during my searching for diamonds, I have since learned that James Allen is doing a 'sale' right now where it's 5% off on any hearts & arrows diamond, which on a ~2600 dollar purchase is a few dollars cheaper than the pricescope discount. I tried seeing if you could do both at once but I couldn't get both to go. It runs until august 31st so it's not like you have to jump on it now either.
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Jul 20, 2009 15:57
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Hawkeye posted:Most of this thread I have noticed is that yes, it should be all about the bride and groom. Not the screaming kid. Plus, if her family hadn't been a flock of cunts for the entire process, I imagine that he and his fiancee would be attempting other options, but it sounds like they're thisclose to telling the entire family where to stick it, which is bad grounds for the family to be making demands of them. Also, etiquette wise: who pays has the say. If they didn't contribute in any meaningful way to your wedding, they can keep their opinions to themselves.
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Jul 20, 2009 16:20
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I don't think it's wrong to not want a screaming child at your wedding, although yes it is unfortunate the way it has caused some problems. Who would want a loud child at their event? Kids at weddings are some people's idea of what it should be like, with their family all together and so on, but when you're having a formal dinner in an adult atmosphere it's not ideal to have them there. There was no harm in asking if the kid would be more comfortable at home with the nurse, if it was worded that way. If it had worked out you could have sent the kid a little toy as a nice gesture. What are other people's policy on kids? I'm having only cousins, no second cousins or anything like that. It cuts out some bratty kids we don't like
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Jul 20, 2009 16:21
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We just got lucky in that nobody seems to have kids.. The youngest ones were my niece and nephew who became the flower girl and ring bearer. Both their parents are in the wedding, so during dinner, one kid at one side of the head table, and the other on the other. We have one friend with three small children, but we politely asked if they could find a sitter for the kids.. They were also super psyched to just get away from the kids for one night of a romantic dinner together. But they are also good friends, so it wasn't awkward asking. I personally wouldn't mind being asked to not bring the kids. These are adult affairs most of the time.. Children can easily be left with a sitter for a night.
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Jul 20, 2009 17:48
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Thinking back, it would have been easier to just say no kids. The only reason we originally had children is because of the fact that her mom has these two children. Perhaps thats the way we should approach it.
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Jul 20, 2009 17:55
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Guy LeDouche posted:Anybody have any thoughts/experiences with portside weddings? We are considering getting a package through Carnival or one of the other cruise lines. Carnival has a package where we get married and have a luncheon reception, then the new wife and I (plus anyone else who would want to come) would ship out for 4 or 7 days.
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Jul 20, 2009 19:17
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lord1234 posted:Thinking back, it would have been easier to just say no kids. The only reason we originally had children is because of the fact that her mom has these two children. Perhaps thats the way we should approach it. My friends are getting married in October and the grooms older sister is mentally handicapped and lives in an assisted living facility. She has very poor temperament and frequently throws tantrums in public. They had asked his parents if they would be offended if they didn't invite the sister to the wedding and they said they understood. A few days later his younger sister caught wind of this and blew up. She was texting my friend, calling him at work and even harassing him about it on facebook. They eventually had to tell her that she was uninvited because of her behavior. I know it might get me some flack but I am inclined to agree with them. His older sister would most likely not grasp what was going on and would just be upset that she has to sit still for 5+ hours and throw a fit. I don't know anyone who would want to stop a ceremony to pull a flailing person out of the aisle. On a personal note: My fiance and I got a great deal on a venue. We found a local park that has a chapel from the 1800's(as seen below) on site and they will rent you the chapel and a lodge that fits about 100 people for $375 for the whole weekend. This was a huge boon for us since we are running on a shoe-string budget.  edit: typos Cyber Punk 90210 fucked around with this message at 20:23 on Jul 20, 2009 |
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Jul 20, 2009 19:42
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It might be because I come from a different culture from you all, but I totally see the mother's point. I wouldn't go if I were her. It's just insulting.
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Jul 20, 2009 22:32
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Karnegal posted:The appraisal on the ring was also significantly more than the ting cost (something like appraised at 5k paid 3k). You have to ask yourself a question. If it was "worth" double the appraisal would they have sold it to you for half price? When a retailer's default behavior is to pass out an appraisal for an amount higher than the purchase price you know that it's just a marketing trick.
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Jul 21, 2009 01:49
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JohnnyRnR posted:You have to ask yourself a question. If it was "worth" double the appraisal would they have sold it to you for half price? When a retailer's default behavior is to pass out an appraisal for an amount higher than the purchase price you know that it's just a marketing trick. In my experience writing up appraisals for jewelry customers, some of them prefer we overvalue the appraisal based on past experiences where the insurance company pinched every penny and wouldn't give them enough to replace the piece as valued because they believed it could be done cheaper. I'm not saying overvaluing is always the correct way to go, but I wouldn't go so far as to say it's always a marketing trick. Having said that, I'm tired of getting diamonds back from certification labs (I'm looking at you, EGL) where they throw in their own adorable little appraisal for like 3 times what we'd sell the diamond for. It's a waste of my time and their paper.
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Jul 21, 2009 03:09
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I've also heard it's very common practice to double the appraisal value for insurance purposes, because insurance companies are stingy fuckers.
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Jul 21, 2009 05:10
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JohnnyRnR posted:You have to ask yourself a question. If it was "worth" double the appraisal would they have sold it to you for half price? When a retailer's default behavior is to pass out an appraisal for an amount higher than the purchase price you know that it's just a marketing trick. The independent appraiser I decided to go with says basically the exact same thing on their website too: quote:If this “appraisal” states that the item is worth substantially more than you paid, (an all too common practice), then the jeweler is doing you a disservice. You will be paying higher insurance premiums just because the jeweler wanted you to “feel good” about the deal.
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Jul 21, 2009 18:26
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(I can't let this thread die, I am a bit behind some of you!) Well after spending a lot of time trying to figure out what kind of diamond to buy, and re-consulting the thread and pricescope, I reaffirmed my belief that I would rather get a smaller diamond, and even drop from vs2 to si1 (as long as eyeclean) if it means I could get a diamond with a very very good cut. I ended up getting this stone: http://www.jamesallen.com/diamond.asp?find=1&cid=130&item=1241745 I got it sent straight to the appraiser to make sure it was the diamond it was supposed to be, etc, then got it sent to my place of work from there. I received it today, and I was pretty surprised how big it seemed, especially compared to the 'very good' cut 0.75 that the brick & mortar was trying to sell me. The brilliance/fire and whatnot is actually quite fun to look at. I did my best to photograph it, but i'll be damned if my macro function seems to not be doing the job. Surprisingly, the best resolution photos came from looking through the hearts & arrows viewer that came with the diamond, though it is hell to get all the hearts in focus through the camera lense  0.757carat I SI1, hearts & arrows symmetry, AGS certified If it breaks tables let me know. It looks really yellow when on the black background, it's color really looks more like the one where I put the diamond between my fingers. I must say I'm pretty happy with my purchase. Now I just need to decide the best way to propose!
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Jul 24, 2009 02:12
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It looks great. If you have a loupe or a small magnifying glass try holding it up to your camera lens. That should do it.
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Jul 24, 2009 18:18
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Wedding's tomorrow and all we have to do is wait. Everything else is pretty well planned. Hooray!
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Jul 24, 2009 19:01
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Calee21 posted:So, I'm not engaged yet, but my boyfriend finally brought up the topic about wanting to get engaged and married in the next year or two. So although I don't have to start the crazy planning yet I have a couple questions about rings. I would really love a lab made diamond and I was wondering if people know of any places other than the couple listed in the OP. I really like the stuff from Green Karat, specifically this one. however, this is wayyy out of our budget and I really do not want him to spend that much money on a ring. Has anyone dealt with this company before? Would it be reasonable to ask them if this setting could be done with a sapphire instead? (I really like the setting most of all.) Have you considered moissanite? On this particular page of the Charles and Colvard (the main manufacturers of moissanite) website, there's a comparison chart that shows that moissanite is nearly as hard as diamond, and actually more refractive ("fire"). My engagement ring is a 1.5 carat round moissanite solitaire, and it's pretty much the most beautiful thing I've ever seen (might be a little biased though  ): Click here for the full 800x600 image. CagedLiberty posted:I don't think it's wrong to not want a screaming child at your wedding, although yes it is unfortunate the way it has caused some problems. Who would want a loud child at their event? Kids at weddings are some people's idea of what it should be like, with their family all together and so on, but when you're having a formal dinner in an adult atmosphere it's not ideal to have them there. There was no harm in asking if the kid would be more comfortable at home with the nurse, if it was worded that way. If it had worked out you could have sent the kid a little toy as a nice gesture. We had kids at our wedding (quite a few, actually. Everyone around us seems to have kids), besides the flowers girls and ring bearers. It was a formal, evening/nighttime, outdoor wedding, and we honestly never once considered not inviting the kids. I don't know, it just honestly didn't see that important. If a kid screamed, we'd get over it and we'd still have our awesome night. Maybe we're just laid back? v  v By the way, as it turned out, no kids screamed during the ceremony.
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Jul 24, 2009 22:25
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As of the 11th, I'm officially married. Hooray. Thanks to everyone in here for the intermittent help. It was probably the most stressful month of my life (thanks in-laws!) before the wedding, but it went over very well and the honeymoon was a blast. If anyone's getting married in SoCal and wants recommendations for any local vendors, let me know. I think we counted and went to 16 different reception sites 
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Jul 25, 2009 00:40
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I don't know if we're going to use this stuff or not but I wanted to post it here because it seems so easy and versatile and fun. Also recyclable! http://www.chairgowns.com/index.asp?PageAction=Custom&ID=6
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Jul 25, 2009 02:04
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maso posted:I don't know if we're going to use this stuff or not but I wanted to post it here because it seems so easy and versatile and fun. Also recyclable! The ones at the top of the page aren't bad but the ones at the bottom definitely look like trash bags in my opinion. I think they are pretty cool how they have them lit up though.
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Jul 25, 2009 03:19
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My cousin is talking to her boyfriend about marriage and rings, but they are both staunchly against blood diamonds. (Yay!) I'm kind of the family's resident loudmouthed lefty, so she asked me to look up origins of Tiffany's diamonds - he wants to buy her an enviable piece from there, but will buy a rock separately and have them set it if it will ease their consciences. ...and yeah, all of this sounds like corporate BS to me, so enlighten please!
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Jul 25, 2009 19:57
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Fire In The Disco posted:By the way, as it turned out, no kids screamed during the ceremony. You got lucky. It's not so much kids, obviously, as babies. The last wedding I went to, there were two crying babies, one who literally shreiked through half of it. I couldn't hear the vows at all as a watcher who was sitting right in front of the baby. And neither of the parents were polite enough to leave the ceremony, at most they just got out of their seats and stood in the back of the church (but still within the room) pacing with their crying babies. I know there was one couple there who had one parent sit right outside the ceremony the whole time with the baby because the baby might cry - thought that was very polite but nobody else seemed to take his cue. It was pretty annoying to be seated in front of them - we're talking about a pretty long Catholic ceremony here. They paid someone to videotape the wedding too so I hope the screaming babies didn't end up drowning out the vows on that too. Then at the reception, the couple who stayed outside the whole time with their baby really apparently wanted to dance all night once they got to the reception - not babysit. My boyfriend and I are not big dancers so we got wrangled into watching the baby the whole night (the couple with the baby is also a partner at my boyfriend's law firm and he's just an associate so we didn't feel comfortable saying no). We had to take turns going to the bathroom, getting drinks, etc. The baby was fine, slept the whole time but we wanted to be free to mingle with the other guests, dance if we wanted to, take a seat at the bar, whatever. It's not so much the kids/babies that are the problem - it's the parents who don't deal with them appropriately.
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Jul 26, 2009 00:09
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