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oddspelling
May 31, 2009

Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment

HorseHeadBed posted:

Does anyone else get the impression that Stephen King was abused as a child? There seems to be a lot of weird sexual stuff in his books, particularly where kids are concerned. Child abuse comes up a lot, often tangentially and unrelated to the story, and his perception of adult sexuality seems awkward.

There's also the stuff in Lisey's Story about the dead husband being unable to gently caress.

And he mentions little boy's penises way more than seems normal.

I whole-heartedly agree.

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AN AOL CHAT ROOM
Feb 22, 2003

Power-shovelling fat turds into my cock busted syphilitic maw. Like a fat cunt shovels doughnuts. The resulting turds from my hemorrhoid infested goat fucked ass are pure gold compared to my shitting posts.

HorseHeadBed posted:

Does anyone else get the impression that Stephen King was abused as a child?
All I can remember is that from On Writing he had a BBW babysitter who loved to sit on his head and fart.

If he can admit to that on paper, I'd hate to think what he's holding back.

my1999gsr
Mar 21, 2009
Tommyknockers without a doubt. It's so bad that it makes King's weak sauce post-accident books read like Hemmingway.

JnnyThndrs
May 29, 2001

HERE ARE THE FUCKING TOWELS
I just finished this thread and didn't see any mention of Black House, which was BY FAR the biggest disapointment for me out of all of his books. Yes, I know Straub was also involved, but I'm blaming King.

When the Talisman came out, I was just getting into King and thought it was one of the best things I'd ever read. As the years went by, I'd re-read it periodically and it never lost its appeal, unlike books like Christine, which was awesome when I was 15 and now seems sorta forced and juvenile.

So when I heard a (sorta)sequel was coming I was STOKED, I bought that bastard the day it hit the shelves and.....Jesus, what the hell happened? It just lurches around with only the barest outline of a plot, and ends with the most boring, hackneyed climax imaginable. The Talisman, by contrast, hooked a series of extremely intense sub-stories together Sunlight Gardener scares the gently caress out of me to this day with an easy-to-grasp plot and an overall trajectory that even a moron could grasp.

Other than that, I'm right there with the Dreamcatcher/Buick 8/Lisey's Story/Cell haters.

janklow
Sep 28, 2001

whatever in creation exists without my knowledge exists without my consent.

JnnyThndrs posted:

I just finished this thread and didn't see any mention of Black House, which was BY FAR the biggest disapointment for me out of all of his books.
on this point, you and i are in complete agreement.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005


The most annoying part of Black House was the end which very unsubtly hints that Jack would be involved in the quest for the Dark Tower and whoops! Nothing doing!

IceNiner
Jun 11, 2008

muscles like this? posted:

The most annoying part of Black House was the end which very unsubtly hints that Jack would be involved in the quest for the Dark Tower and whoops! Nothing doing!

That burned my biscuits as well! That, along with that short story from 'Everything's eventual' with the psychic kid able to kill with emails and the other hints about the Evil King forcing people with psychic powers into his service for some reason made me think we'd see a return of Charlie from "Firestarter" (I can't remember the exact page/book out of Gunslinger that did that, but it was there.)Such a huge disappointment the Gunslinger turned out to be.

I still have to put up "Just After Sunset" as his worst work that I've read. Always before I would get at least a few good stories out of his short collections but Sunset didn't even have one for me. Not a single story was worth the slow drudging through.

NosmoKing
Nov 12, 2004

I have a rifle and a frying pan and I know how to use them

Chamberk posted:

It's that scene alone that keeps me from recommending It wholeheartedly. The book is great at scaring the crap out of you, developing great characters, etc., and then at the end there's a completely out-of-nowhere and frankly disgusting orgy.

They're supposed to be 10 years old in that novel.

T
E
N

Y
E
A
R
S

O
L
D
!

That poo poo just ain't right.

oddspelling
May 31, 2009

Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment
Even more evidence that little Stevie had some unpleasent things done to his butt.

fishmech
Jul 16, 2006

by VideoGames
Salad Prong
Honestly I chalk it up to the fact that Stephen King was a loving drugged-up junkie for a good decade straight. You really need to remember that.

Julia Trillard
Apr 19, 2009

YOLO CARBON PRINCESS

IceNiner posted:

I still have to put up "Just After Sunset" as his worst work that I've read. Always before I would get at least a few good stories out of his short collections but Sunset didn't even have one for me. Not a single story was worth the slow drudging through.

I don't think so. That one about the MURDEROUS HOBO HITMAN was pretty awesome. A Very Tight Place was also good I think because of the sickeningly vivid descriptions of the interior of the effluence tank

-abe-
Oct 24, 2008

by The Finn
So it's agreed: King has written a lot of lovely novels.

Some tidbit I pulled from AskMen.com:

quote:

We are fans of men who have business savvy. You can read his biography for an exhaustive list of accomplishments. What we want to point out is 3 numbers: his earnings for the last 3 years. According to Forbes, they are $44 million for 2000, $65 million for 1999, and $40 million for 1998. Wonder how he makes so much money? He gets 50% of the profits on his books. Stephen King's net worth is over $200 million.

If his earnings for those three years averaged $50 million, wouldn't his net worth be considerably over $200 million after all these years?

In any case, I can't believe to this day that I read "Rose Madder." Oh god what an awful book.

He really does seem at times to be just a slightly more sophisticated version of R.L Stine.

And I'm SO glad that I never forced myself to read the rest of "The Dark Tower." I enjoyed the first two, perhaps because of the combined effect of their being relatively short and the promise of what was ahead. But after slogging through "The Waste Lands," I quit after the first chapters of "Wizard & Glass" as I realized this journey was likely to ultimately disappoint.

NosmoKing
Nov 12, 2004

I have a rifle and a frying pan and I know how to use them

fishmech posted:

Honestly I chalk it up to the fact that Stephen King was a loving drugged-up junkie for a good decade straight. You really need to remember that.

loving drugged-up junkie and alcoholic for a good 30 years straight.

Got lit off his rear end on cheap booze in high school, started drugs in college, didn't stop until in his late 40's.

oddspelling
May 31, 2009

Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment

fishmech posted:

Honestly I chalk it up to the fact that Stephen King was a loving drugged-up junkie for a good decade straight. You really need to remember that.

Most of the burnouts I've known aren't obsessed with toe-headed preteens with SPECIAL ABILITIES and thier genetals; and they don't like/write chapters and endings of books that seem like they were xeroxed out of the NAMBLA magazine's short-fiction section.

Ortsacras
Feb 11, 2008
12/17/00 Never Forget

NosmoKing posted:

To retort:


IIRC, it doesn't feed on imagination. "It" feeds on fear and terror and the physical bodies of those who have been scared with their own worst fears.

"It" can see inside your mind and use the thing that scares you the most to drive you loving bonkers. It tends to pick kids because the fears of children are easiest to distill into a specific image rather than the more vague fears and concerns of adults.

Sure, fair enough, but I think that still boils down to "fear is nourishing to It, so opposing emotions - courage, love, hope - are poisonous to It."

quote:

Just because you say your fake inhaler is battery acid doesn't make it so. You aren't an extradimensional immortal superpowered embodiment of evil. You are a kid with an overprotective mom.

Yeah, but it wasn't literally the battery acid that hurt It, it was the emotions behind that statement that allowed Eddie to hurt It. Plus, don't forget that in the end, they did beat It though sheer physical trauma anyway - the emotive stuff was what let them get close to It to begin with.

Note that I'm not defending the pre-teen orgy; that was seriously weird stuff. Especially given Beverly's character - so she essentially married an abusive rapist when she was grown up - gee, you think that some of her issues might be illuminated by the fact that she serviced every single one of her friends at the age of 11? That's potentially an interesting question, but we sure didn't need the level of detail about it that we got.

fishmech
Jul 16, 2006

by VideoGames
Salad Prong

oddspelling posted:

Most of the burnouts I've known aren't obsessed with toe-headed preteens with SPECIAL ABILITIES and thier genetals; and they don't like/write chapters and endings of books that seem like they were xeroxed out of the NAMBLA magazine's short-fiction section.

Maybe you just didn't know any sever druggie authors? King doesn't remember writing any part of Cujo, it was all done in a blackout. Think how long it takes to write a 320 page book. Think how drunk/high you need to be to black out for that long.

oddspelling
May 31, 2009

Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment

fishmech posted:

Maybe you just didn't know any sever druggie authors? King doesn't remember writing any part of Cujo, it was all done in a blackout. Think how long it takes to write a 320 page book. Think how drunk/high you need to be to black out for that long.

That is a good point...

Magnificent Quiver
May 8, 2003


oddspelling posted:

Most of the burnouts I've known aren't obsessed with toe-headed preteens with SPECIAL ABILITIES and thier genetals;

Michael Jackson isn't notable at all?

dojokm
Sep 20, 2001

I've never read most of the ones that are considered bad King books like Dreamcatcher and Rose Madder. I've also never read any of The Dark Tower stuff because I've heard about how it ends and how bad it gets. But for me the worst book was Gerald's Game. I know some others have mentioned it, it's one of those books where the plot sounds like it could be really interesting in theory but the execution wasn't very good.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

dojokm posted:

I've never read most of the ones that are considered bad King books like Dreamcatcher and Rose Madder. I've also never read any of The Dark Tower stuff because I've heard about how it ends and how bad it gets. But for me the worst book was Gerald's Game. I know some others have mentioned it, it's one of those books where the plot sounds like it could be really interesting in theory but the execution wasn't very good.

I can't believe people mentioned both his obsession with bad fathers and the creepy sexual stuff without mentioning Gerald's Game. The flashbacks to her childhood in that, yech.

CrankyProf
Apr 22, 2008

by angerbotSD

dojokm posted:

I've never read most of the ones that are considered bad King books like Dreamcatcher and Rose Madder. I've also never read any of The Dark Tower stuff because I've heard about how it ends and how bad it gets. But for me the worst book was Gerald's Game. I know some others have mentioned it, it's one of those books where the plot sounds like it could be really interesting in theory but the execution wasn't very good.

Not to mention the fact that it was all psychological horror up until the last chapter or so, when he threw in the deranged, retarded, necrophiliac cannibal -- almost as a drat afterthought.

fishmech
Jul 16, 2006

by VideoGames
Salad Prong

CrankyProf posted:

Not to mention the fact that it was all psychological horror up until the last chapter or so, when he threw in the deranged, retarded, necrophiliac cannibal -- almost as a drat afterthought.

Wasn't that guy a figment of her imagination?

CrankyProf
Apr 22, 2008

by angerbotSD
Nope. thought he was, but during her recovery, she finds out he's real. She goes to his trial/competency hearing, and he mocks her by shouting "You're not anything! You're just made of moonlight!" -- which is what she yelled at him -- while shaking his hands in imaginary handcuffs.

Schweig und tanze
May 22, 2007

STUBBSSSSS INNNNNN SPACEEEE!

CrankyProf posted:

Nope. thought he was, but during her recovery, she finds out he's real. She goes to his trial/competency hearing, and he mocks her by shouting "You're not anything! You're just made of moonlight!" -- which is what she yelled at him -- while shaking his hands in imaginary handcuffs.

I actually like Gerald's Game up until that part. Should have left it as her mind loving with her. The necrophiliac cannibal poo poo was just plain dumb.

CrankyProf
Apr 22, 2008

by angerbotSD

Stentorian Longing posted:

I actually like Gerald's Game up until that part. Should have left it as her mind loving with her. The necrophiliac cannibal poo poo was just plain dumb.

That was my chief complaint with the whole book. That whole section felt as if it was slapped in as a sop to gross-out horror.

spixxor
Feb 4, 2009

cheerfullydrab posted:

I can't believe people mentioned both his obsession with bad fathers and the creepy sexual stuff without mentioning Gerald's Game. The flashbacks to her childhood in that, yech.

Good lord, yes. In regards to the sexual stuff, he seems to be amazingly preoccupied with semen. It seems I can't read a single book of his without having to suffer through a random description of jizz at some point. I don't remember which book it was, but some short story of his had a description of some woman scooping some guy's semen off of his sheets and eating it that was probably the only time a book ever made me feel nauseous. Blech.

IceNiner
Jun 11, 2008

spixxor posted:

Good lord, yes. In regards to the sexual stuff, he seems to be amazingly preoccupied with semen. It seems I can't read a single book of his without having to suffer through a random description of jizz at some point. I don't remember which book it was, but some short story of his had a description of some woman scooping some guy's semen off of his sheets and eating it that was probably the only time a book ever made me feel nauseous. Blech.

If I remember correctly, that was called "Sacrifice". Plus, the 'magical semen' she scooped up belonged to a highly intelligent and talented guy and eating it continuously off of the sheets helped to make the baby she was pregnant with to be a lot brighter than he would have otherwise been. Yucko.

oddspelling
May 31, 2009

Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment
There's also a bit in the middle of Cell where he spends 3 or 4 pages describing the 'simple utilitarian nobility' of a dead woman's soiled panties.

Suspect Device
Jan 18, 2005

Always Intense
I'm a major fan but I prefer his books that stick to the supernatural. The Talisman (which was written under his pseudonym Richard Bachman, for some reason) was so boring. Kid goes on long journey and gets sidetracked in some boring town is all I remember of it. It is only book of his that I haven't been able to get through.

Schweig und tanze
May 22, 2007

STUBBSSSSS INNNNNN SPACEEEE!

I just picked up Skeleton Crew last night; can't believe I hadn't read it yet (or maybe I did a longass time ago). I'm really enjoying The Mist, and goddamn he's good at creating that claustrophobic and hunted feeling. Now I'm debating whether to watch the movie or not. It makes for good reading but I think actually seeing what's in the mist would render it completely silly.


Edit: After reading the movie synopsis on wikipedia, the ending sounds like total garbage and I can't believe King liked it.

Schweig und tanze fucked around with this message at 19:16 on Aug 6, 2009

Chairman Capone
Dec 17, 2008

The funny thing about King liking the movie ending is that in the book the narrator mentions how the National Guard showing up and clearing the mist away would be a terrible ending.

Mister Kingdom
Dec 14, 2005

And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

Stentorian Longing posted:

I just picked up Skeleton Crew last night; can't believe I hadn't read it yet (or maybe I did a longass time ago). I'm really enjoying The Mist, and goddamn he's good at creating that claustrophobic and hunted feeling. Now I'm debating whether to watch the movie or not. It makes for good reading but I think actually seeing what's in the mist would render it completely silly.


Edit: After reading the movie synopsis on wikipedia, the ending sounds like total garbage and I can't believe King liked it.

There's lots of great stuff in that one. You won't be disappointed.

Nuke Goes KABOOM
Mar 24, 2007

by Fistgrrl
He liked the ending because it ruled so much. The only way to improve it would be to have the director flipping off the audience as a still image while the credits rolled.

nate fisher
Mar 3, 2004

We've Got To Go Back

ShawnWilkesBooth posted:

He liked the ending because it ruled so much. The only way to improve it would be to have the director flipping off the audience as a still image while the credits rolled.

The ending of the Mist (the movie) was loving great. It was a big gently caress you to the audience. I can imagine the movie studio trying to get him to change it.

Magnificent Quiver
May 8, 2003


nate fisher posted:

The ending of the Mist (the movie) was loving great. It was a big gently caress you to the audience. I can imagine the movie studio trying to get him to change it.

I'm happy with both endings. I've never seen anything so bleak in a pulpy Hollywood movie.

RagingHematoma
Apr 19, 2004

Goiters can be beautiful too!

Magic Hate Ball posted:

Gonna go with Dreamcatcher. At least Cell had a good first chapter, Dreamcatcher didn't even have that. The only thing I remember is some anecdote about the guy's mom falling over and making GBS threads herself.

There was also something about a kid wiping his rear end on his neighbor's toothbrush.

Philo
Jul 18, 2007
This is no game. This is no fun. Your life is flame. Your time is come.
The Breathing Method. gently caress. This story.

Maybe because the first and only time I ever read it was because it was assigned in middle school, but for me this was just the ultimate example of NOTHING HAPPENING EVER for the first 3/4, then SHOCK HORROR DECAPITATION, and then more nothing. This is the reason why I hate it so much more than stuff like Dreamcatcher and Tommyknockers. Because at least when there are magical retards and poo poo weasels and everything devolves into incomprehesible what-the-gently caress, at least stuff is going on.

Philo fucked around with this message at 21:09 on Aug 8, 2009

Mr. Beefhead
May 8, 2003

I can make beans into peas.

Suspect Device posted:

The Talisman (which was written under his pseudonym Richard Bachman, for some reason)

No, it wasn't.

Suspect Device posted:

I'm a major fan but I prefer his books that stick to the supernatural. The Talisman was so boring. Kid goes on long journey and gets sidetracked in some boring town is all I remember of it. It is only book of his that I haven't been able to get through.

You should really give it another chance. Boiling the story down to the extent that you did is sort of akin to describing The Stand as "there's this flu and then a bunch of people wander around".

Mr. Beefhead fucked around with this message at 23:11 on Aug 8, 2009

IceNiner
Jun 11, 2008
I have changed my mind about saying "Just after sunset" was King's most inferior work. Seeing Philo commenting above me about the Breathing Method having nothing going on reminds me that it is indeed The Colorado Kid that is the most boring thing he has written. Nothing happens, some old codgers talk about reporting/writing for a small town rag in the good ol' days, they recall the death of a visitor to this little burg a few years back. The stranger did not die a particularly violent or interesting death, not even sure its a murder because there are no suspects. Story ends. That's it.

Awful.

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Gully Foyle
Feb 29, 2008

NosmoKing posted:

Oh, it's the entire text from Page 1081 through 1086

After reading it again, not only does Bill pack the most heat under his squishy gut, but he makes Beverly come like a fountain when he's loving her.


Ick.

Just to be pedantic, Bill isn't the fat one, Ben is. Bill's the author/Stephen King stand-in.

How many of his books feature writers as main characters, or at least side characters? I know there's the whole 'write what you know', but sometimes it feels like author insertion.

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