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Lackadaisical posted:How long did everyone in here date before getting engaged and how old are you? I think I'm going to win the "how long did you date" thing in this thread. We got engaged on my 27th birthday, two and a half weeks before our eleventh anniversary. He's 25, about to be 26 in a month. We'll have been together for almost 12 and a half years by the time we get married next October. We started dating at 16 and 14 respectively. We've known that we were going to get married and talked about it off and on since we were around 18ish, it was just a matter of the actual doing of it. We're really getting a "finally" from everyone we know. Maso that invite is really pretty. And Fire in the Disco that program is awesome, and I might be able to get him to agree to do that for our programs. Thanks for the idea!
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Aug 7, 2009 17:42
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Sure! If you want, I can see if my husband still has the template he made so that the four linen paper parts of the program all could be cut from one 8 1/2" x 11" piece. He had it all gridded out and everything. He's such a cute nerd. 
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Aug 7, 2009 18:13
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My boy and I are 25 and 23 respectively, and will both be 26 and 24 when we get married. We'll have been together for 5 years this November. We've been dating since I was 18 and he was 20. Maso, those cards are gorgeous!!! Actually, Maso, I have a question for you. My Matron of Honor is planning a girl's getaway/bachelorette party for me and the rest of my bridesmaids, and with the distance between all of us (NC to FL), she's figured Savannah/Tybee Island is a good midway point. Do you have any reccomendations for places to rent a house from for a weekend or things to plan while we're there? We're looking for something in April.
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Aug 7, 2009 18:14
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Sneaky Monkey posted:My boy and I are 25 and 23 respectively, and will both be 26 and 24 when we get married. We'll have been together for 5 years this November. We've been dating since I was 18 and he was 20.
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Aug 7, 2009 18:24
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Rootbeer Baron posted:The tiffany legacy's been knocked off by pretty much every custom house around, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and suggest to you that if you show up to propose to your GF with a tiffany knock-off, it'll be worse than showing up empty handed. Maybe your girlfriend isn't like this, but based on what you've told us so far, I'm pretty sure that she's in it for the Blue Box more than anything else. I asked her if she was set on that style of ring, or if it had to be THAT ring from Tiffany's, and she said that she wants that kind of ring. So it's not just about Tiffany's. Which is good, because I'm in contact with Johnny for a more affordable option. But yes, it does hurt my feelings a bit. I even mentioned what someone suggested about Moissanite, and she got really offended that it wasn't a diamond and I was even considering it.  Thanks for all your input, guys. I appreciate it.
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Aug 7, 2009 18:29
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Fire In The Disco posted:Sure! If you want, I can see if my husband still has the template he made so that the four linen paper parts of the program all could be cut from one 8 1/2" x 11" piece. He had it all gridded out and everything. He's such a cute nerd. Holy crow, that would be awesome. That might be a big selling point, that we don't have to do the extra figuring work and all that. How big did it wind up being?
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Aug 7, 2009 18:54
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Alfajor posted:I asked her if she was set on that style of ring, or if it had to be THAT ring from Tiffany's, and she said that she wants that kind of ring. So it's not just about Tiffany's. Which is good, because I'm in contact with Johnny for a more affordable option. I was going to say that I financed my finacee's ring from Tiffany's at 0% for 5 months. But then again her ring was about half that.
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Aug 7, 2009 19:27
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Alfajor posted:But yes, it does hurt my feelings a bit. I even mentioned what someone suggested about Moissanite, and she got really offended that it wasn't a diamond and I was even considering it. Well, maybe she didn't understand Moissanite. To be honest? First time I heard about it all I could think was "oh, so it's a diamond knock-off? EW" and thought of it as basically a more expensive CZ. Basically, a poor man's diamond. Now I kinda like it more than before and I'd buy a non-engagement ring with it, but even if they keep saying "It's Sparklier! It's Cheaper!" I kinda want a diamond or a sapphire for my engagement ring.
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Aug 7, 2009 19:29
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Alfajor posted:But yes, it does hurt my feelings a bit. I even mentioned what someone suggested about Moissanite, and she got really offended that it wasn't a diamond and I was even considering it. I just did a quick search on moissanite and diamond prices from BlueNile and Moissanitediamond.com. For $920 you could get a .5 ct diamond, or you could get a 2 ct. moissanite. Just ask her if she would rather have the smaller "real thing" or a mega blinged out icefest that looks more sparkly (and no one will know the difference unless she tells them anyway). I guarantee if you take her to the store and have her try on a .5 ct diamond and a 2 ct diamond, she will come around real fast. By the way I think she is being pretty demanding about this. Maybe she should be saving up to buy you something equally as extravagant if she's gonna get all pissy about her ring.
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Aug 7, 2009 20:22
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nmarie33 posted:I just did a quick search on moissanite and diamond prices from BlueNile and Moissanitediamond.com. For $920 you could get a .5 ct diamond, or you could get a 2 ct. moissanite. Just ask her if she would rather have the smaller "real thing" or a mega blinged out icefest that looks more sparkly (and no one will know the difference unless she tells them anyway). I don't necessairly think so. We've learned that she can be flexible here. It's not just that he must spend xyz dollars because she demands a specific tiffany ring. She just likes that style and it doesn't need to be a tiffany ring. If I was going to be wearing the engagement ring, I would want to make damned sure I really liked the design of something I would ideally be wearing the rest of my life. The fact that she wants a diamond over mossanite doesn't seem pissy to me. Moissanite isn't for everyone, and i don't see a reason to take offense that someone may want a diamond over moissanite. Hawkeye fucked around with this message at 23:18 on Aug 7, 2009 |
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Aug 7, 2009 23:14
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Maso, your invitations are beautiful. Your efforts definitely show in the final product.
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Aug 7, 2009 23:30
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Alfajor posted:But yes, it does hurt my feelings a bit. I even mentioned what someone suggested about Moissanite, and she got really offended that it wasn't a diamond and I was even considering it. Don't let that hurt you. De Beers has done a great job ingraining the whole engagement = diamond ring into people's heads. I admit I buy into it too, even though I know I shouldn't. Even if it is cheaper and sparkles more, and no one would be able to tell, she would still know that her ring that everyone thinks is a diamond isn't actually a diamond. If I got a non-diamond stone for an engagement ring, I would personally pick something like a sapphire, but I wouldn't pick moissanite. If she's open to it, feel free to maybe show her some moissanite and see if she likes it, but it sounds like she isn't, so try not to get offended and just go for a smaller diamond. Also, echoing everyone else who says that maso's invitations are beautiful.
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Aug 8, 2009 00:40
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I was 28 and my husband was 27 when we got married. We had been dating for 2 years when he proposed and together for three by the time we got married. It'll be our year anniversary on the 16th and we just bought a house.  Also, I know there is a lot of moissanite love in this thread but cubic zirconia can look awesome as well. I got mine at https://www.ziamond.com and not a single person has asked if it was something other than diamond and even a guy at a jewelry store where I had it cleaned didn't notice. maso your invitations are gorgeous. I bought my invitations on Etsy, so technically mine were handmade, just not by me. I did a lot of the other paper goods myself though - table names, escort cards, etc. Those alone made me glad that I didn't do the invitations myself.
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Aug 8, 2009 02:28
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Fire In The Disco posted:I'm 30, he's 26. Hello, Future Me! I've only been with my man for six months but we have already talked about getting married. It won't be for a good few years yet (he's 22, I'm 26) because he wants to get settled in his career first. I was so freaked when I found out he was the same age as my little sister, but they are worlds apart in maturity level. End derail.
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Aug 8, 2009 03:26
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My hubby and I were both 21 when we got married, and had been dating for two and a half years, living together for two and a half years. We have been married 18 months now. Taken at face value it seems "so young!" but it fit in well with our lives and our plan for the future. We bought a house six weeks after we were married, and planned on having kids soon after but life (aka dying parent) got in the way and that has been postponed for a few years. A common argument against marrying young: You haven't: Lived on your own Moved out of home Finished your degree/apprenticeship Traveled Become financially independent Found yourself Dated other people Been single for a long period of your adult life etc. Opinions? I think its dumb but goddammit I heard it from a lot of older single people. For reference I had done the first five. E: On the topic of cubic zirconia rings I had a look at some but none of the local shops stocked reasonably sized solitaires, as in less than half a carat. Its pretty frikkin obvious its a fake if you have a 2ct tacky bling bling ring, but nicely done, understated, small engagement rings were nowhere to be found. Exelsior fucked around with this message at 09:31 on Aug 8, 2009 |
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Aug 8, 2009 09:28
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^^^ You might like moissanite, then. It's not "obviously a fake," since it's more refractory than diamond and nearly as hard as diamond, but it's way, way cheaper because there's no crazy monopoly by one family on the creation of it. I've mentioned it before in the thread, but one of the things I love the most about my moissanite ring (besides the 1.5 carat solitaire) is that I can go into detail with anyone on how cool moissanite is, how it comes from space, how there's no conflict involved, and so on-- or, if I'm complimented on my ring in passing, I can avoid going into detail. Basically, what I'm saying is that unless I bring it up, nobody's going to notice that my ring is moissanite. And believe me, I bring it up more often than not, because I think it's totally awesome. 
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Aug 8, 2009 13:36
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Exelsior posted:A common argument against marrying young: I heard it a lot too. We were 21 as well and are both 24 now. My aunt kept saying that we'd be totally different people when we're 24 but I really don't feel a massive difference. More learned and experienced perhaps since I have pursued more education and been teaching for a little while, but not a different person entirely. We've both gotten our Bachelors, he's finished his Masters and I'm halfway through mine, we've been to Europe and get to travel within the States quite a bit, own our own business, and generally do pretty well. Not going to deny that it was financially rough that first year, but it gets consistently better and we work very well as a team to make sure we reach our goals. We put a lot of time and thought into getting married and it's worked out well so far! Both arguments have their merits, but ultimately it's up to individuals to make their own decisions and to experience their own successes and failures. Judge not lest ye be judged, and all that...
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Aug 8, 2009 15:10
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Any suggestions for non-hacky groomsmen gifts?
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Aug 8, 2009 18:56
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You know, I bet there is some socio-economical elements to the whole "judging people who get marry young thing" Where I live it is seen as pretty drat trashy, since it is what the lower class does whereas the upper middle class/upper class almost always wait to late 20's or early 30's. But I dont live in the states per se, so I don't know if that's true there too. Personally, I can't help but be horrified when someone my age marries and then I have to chide myself for not feeling happy for their happiness. covener posted:Any suggestions for non-hacky groomsmen gifts? What about pens? They don't have to be Mont Blancs or something, but a nice pen is a nice gift. Zealous Abattoir fucked around with this message at 20:52 on Aug 8, 2009 |
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Aug 8, 2009 20:45
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Zealous Abattoir posted:You know, I bet there is some socio-economical elements to the whole "judging people who get marry young thing" Where I live it is seen as pretty drat trashy, since it is what the lower class does whereas the upper middle class/upper class almost always wait to late 20's or early 30's. But I dont live in the states per se, so I don't know if that's true there too.
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Aug 8, 2009 21:02
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Zealous Abattoir posted:You know, I bet there is some socio-economical elements to the whole "judging people who get marry young thing" Where I live it is seen as pretty drat trashy, since it is what the lower class does whereas the upper middle class/upper class almost always wait to late 20's or early 30's. But I dont live in the states per se, so I don't know if that's true there too. I think that's true, to some extent, in the U.S. as well. When you start getting into academia, you see that most people who pursued post-graduate education start out with marriage and children later in life. Personally, my boyfriend and I have been dating since we were 16, but I grew up in a small, very religious town, where it was common to marry immediately after highschool (I suspect it's common because the teens are desperate to have god-endorsed sex, but perhaps that unfair of me to speculate). Anyway, I really wanted to separate myself from that and refused to think about marriage for years. We're both 25 now, and I'm just now starting to think that perhaps we're not too young anymore. Also I've realized that my feelings make absolutely no sense. My boyfriend and I have been together and have been living as if we're married, since we were both very young. So in reality there's very little difference between us and the religious couples I know who married young. Except we've been having non-endorsed by god sex!
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Aug 8, 2009 21:06
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covener posted:Any suggestions for non-hacky groomsmen gifts? We gave everyone in the wedding party, male and female alike, 2" digital photo keychains that we preloaded with a couple of pictures of us holding signs with "THANK YOU" "FOR HELPING" "TO MAKE" "OUR DAY" and "SPECIAL" in huge letters, because the photos were so small they'd be illegible had they been on one sign. We set the keychains to cycle every 4 seconds (it doesn't seem like a lot, but it worked perfectly) so they could read the whole message. They were well received by all.
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Aug 9, 2009 00:21
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GoreJess posted:
Can I ask which seller you used? I'm looking to get one done for our address.
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Aug 9, 2009 00:33
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teacherkate posted:Can I ask which seller you used? I'm looking to get one done for our address. Of course. I bought from Rubber Stamp Press. I sent her my information & she had the stamp in the mail 2 days later. It's mounted on a nice wooden handle & I love it
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Aug 9, 2009 01:24
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Fire In The Disco posted:^^^ You might like moissanite, then. It's not "obviously a fake," since it's more refractory than diamond and nearly as hard as diamond, but it's way, way cheaper because there's no crazy monopoly by one family on the creation of it. I've mentioned it before in the thread, but one of the things I love the most about my moissanite ring (besides the 1.5 carat solitaire) is that I can go into detail with anyone on how cool moissanite is, how it comes from space, how there's no conflict involved, and so on-- or, if I'm complimented on my ring in passing, I can avoid going into detail. Basically, what I'm saying is that unless I bring it up, nobody's going to notice that my ring is moissanite. And believe me, I bring it up more often than not, because I think it's totally awesome. Oh man I don't think I was clear in my original post. I didn't mind getting 'not a diamond', in fact I really wanted 'not a diamond' for the main stone. I investigated zirconias in my local chain stores but they were all huge and ostentatious, there were no options for a simple ring with small stones. I knew about moissanite but there were no local shops that carried and I didn't want to buy something sight unseen. (Went for a sapphire in the end). I like moissanite because it has a higher refractive index than diamond, and what made diamond so special (apart from its hardness) was its high refractive index. In my mind, moissanite is more diamond than diamond, except it is made in a lab by awesome scientists and not dug out of the ground by one armed children. Zealous Abattoir posted:You know, I bet there is some socio-economical elements to the whole "judging people who get marry young thing" Where I live it is seen as pretty drat trashy, since it is what the lower class does whereas the upper middle class/upper class almost always wait to late 20's or early 30's. But I dont live in the states per se, so I don't know if that's true there too. Oh yes, this is very true in my area. If you are already on welfare and single with no kids the dole is higher if you are married. (In Oz.) There is also the factor that if two driven, highly educated (or on their way to becoming so) people get married young sooner or later one of them will have to sacrifice their career and education for the other one. It is unlikely that all educational and employment opportunities for both people will be at the same time in the same city (or even country). My husband is on the rollercoaster of postgrad and heading toward academia. I have worked my self into two different careers, at least one of which should be available to me in most countries so it won't be a huge hit if we have to up and go to Germany.
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Aug 9, 2009 02:13
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Exelsior posted:A common argument against marrying young: To comment on some of the discussion stemming from this, I wouldn't say it's necessarily one's personality that changes, so much as their frame of reference, their priorities, and their general outlook on life. This varies by exact age, and in the degree that it's true, but I notice some stratification in Post high school vs Post 21, vs Mid 20s vs Late 20s, etc..., also varying by whether or not college is part of the equation. Re: Finance - Stabilizing your economic situation is a great help, and one of the main reasons is that it reduces the stress that can damage a relationship. Money/Budget problems lead to stress and arguments, and all of a sudden the relationship doesn't seem to be the happy coupling that it once was. Re: Dating other people - this isn't just about having "played the field". I think part of it is coming to a realization on what's important in a partner you'd want to build a lasting companionship with, and part of it is just learning how to deal with a real world full of other people/temptations. Through these different ages, people get antsy to try different things, enjoy different elements of life, or get tired of certain aspects of it and move on. Not always are two people always on the same page when it comes to this. Perhaps one wants to go clubbing all the time, and loves to "party". If their partner does as well, no problem, fun times are to be had... but what if their partner is through with it? One or both end up unhappy. What if one wakes up one day, and decides they're ready to start a family, while the other can't imagine now being the right time? One or both can end up unhappy. One may be living the college life, and has ordered their concerns around those priorities. The other may be starting their career, and is doing likewise. Perhaps one is just working a job, living for the weekend. Or keeping house. Or doing nothing productive at all. All of these states of existence can force different priorities on a person, and if what they want out of life no longer aligns with the person they are with, it may just not work out. So... all that being said, some people luck out and meet a person who is complimentary and compatible, and who happens to "be at the same place" or "on the same page" as they are. Some people may not match up so well, but push on through, and eventually find some kind of equilibrium. Anecdotally, there is something to not considering marriage at a young age, if just to try and improve your odds at a lasting happiness.
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Aug 9, 2009 03:59
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Lackadaisical posted:How long did everyone in here date before getting engaged and how old are you? We're both 24 (we'll be 25 by the time we get married), and we'd been dating for ~6 years when we got engaged. On dating other people before getting married: If I could have designed my life ahead of time, I probably would have chosen to have at least one or two serious relationships before ending up with my fiance (who was not my first boyfriend, but was my first long-term relationship). It would have been a good life experience, and I think it would have helped me learn about myself and how I work in relationships. It also would have presumably involved painful breakups, which would have been awful, I imagine, but would probably also be good for me in the long run. But instead I ended up with my fiance on the first try. And although I'm sorry that I missed out on those experiences, I want very much to marry him, so it's hard to be too wistful about it. Also, my engagement ring is moissanite and sapphire, and the moissanite is so gorgeous. I highly recommend it to anybody considering it. Very rainbowy.
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Aug 9, 2009 04:24
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There's a bit of popular wisdom in this thread that isn't true. 1) DeBeers no longer controls diamond supplies internationally. They may have in the 1960's, but the world has discovered about 250 more mines since then. Some people argue that once DeBeers lost their monopoly power the real price of diamonds rose - the assumption being that they had been artificially setting prices about 19% too low. 2) All Moissainite is made by a single company. Prices are set at the factory. Moissainite is a fine stone as a diamond substitute. It's pretty because they destroy all the ugly ones at the factory. It has excellent brilliance. We sell it, and are happy to sell it, but I don't believe that the quality control is such that you can say that all of it is top quality. The colors vary widely and the cut can often be poor.
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Aug 9, 2009 06:08
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My fiance and I were together for three and a half years before he popped the question, and we're getting married on our fifth anniversary. He is 25 and I am 22. Young? Yeah. Happy? Very. Issues? Sure, but we work through them, being able to is half the point.
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Aug 9, 2009 08:05
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Lackadaisical posted:I figured this would be the best place to post this. My fiance proposed last year on our 5th anniversary of dating. I'm 23 and he's 24, but will have turned 25 just before the wedding, and I turn 24 five days afterwards. By that time we will have been dating for six years and.. eight months or so. I had been thinking of a proposal for some time in the run up to it, but I think it came at entirely the right time in our relationship, it felt really right, and the same with moving in together.
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Aug 9, 2009 11:18
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Kiri koli posted:I've looked into a few wholesalers online, but I'm planning from out of state and I'm not really familiar with where we're getting married anyway. I found some farmer's markets on localharvest, but I don't know if I will have time to visit them. Is ordering online and having flowers shipped a bad idea or is that how wholesalers pretty much do it? I was having flower angst because every place I talked to here in Chicago also started at a $1K minimum I got mine from Costco. I didn't need a ton of centerpieces and stuff like that since our caterer and the venue pretty much covered it. I got the 9-piece calla lily and they looked great. The tradeoff of having to bring them with me rather than having them delivered to the venue was worth the $750 price difference
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Aug 9, 2009 14:58
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covener posted:Any suggestions for non-hacky groomsmen gifts? I struggled with this, but ended up getting everyone Leatherman multi-tools (the Skeletool), and they loved them. There was a place on eBay (gadzooks or something) that had them at pretty good prices compared to local Canadian retail, too.
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Aug 9, 2009 16:08
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CalamityKate posted:I was having flower angst because every place I talked to here in Chicago also started at a $1K minimum I did look into this and was really excited about it until I didn't find any options for colors. I want callas, but my colors are red, orange and yellow. I'm like you in that the centerpieces and everything are provided and fairly simple. I'm fine with simple, but I want color! So I'm still trying to figure this all out. I would like to just buy a bunch of loose callas and work out bouquets myself, but I wouldn't know what to do about boutonnieres and corsages and all that. I also want my bridemaids to have parasols for pictures...and I think it would be kind of neat if we walked down the aisle with parasols instead of bouquets. But then with the bouquet toss and everything...I dunno. We seem to have a lot of good ring people here. What kind of wedding bands do people have when they have tall engagement rings? My center stone sits about 1mm above my finger and makes any of the traditional bands look flat and stupid. Edit: I tried rings with stones around the band and they look marginally better, but even if I could afford that, I think the extra stones are overkill. Picture for reference: .JPG)
Kiri koli fucked around with this message at 17:39 on Aug 9, 2009 |
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Aug 9, 2009 17:37
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Kiri koli posted:I did look into this and was really excited about it until I didn't find any options for colors. I want callas, but my colors are red, orange and yellow. I'm like you in that the centerpieces and everything are provided and fairly simple. I'm fine with simple, but I want color!   
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Aug 9, 2009 18:13
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maso posted:...Callas come in many colors. Yup, those are the colors I want. I meant the Costco calla package appears to only have white callas. Maybe they can do a special order with color callas, but I didn't see anything about it on the website.
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Aug 9, 2009 18:25
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My bouquet was cream callas and large, dark red Asiatic lilies. If you like other types of lilies, maybe Costco carried Asiatics? Here's a couple of pictures of my bouquet:   PS: From personal experience I can tell you that callas are absolutely gorgeous, but the larger they are, the faster they wilt, as evidenced in the second picture, which was taken at the reception. My bridesmaids had miniature callas and Asiatics, and their bouquets actually fared better than mine in the freshness department. But, I wouldn't trade mine for the world; it was bigger than I had expected but turned out to be absolutely perfect.
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Aug 9, 2009 18:32
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Kiri koli posted:Yup, those are the colors I want. Ah, I thought you meant just callas in general. Nevermind.
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Aug 9, 2009 18:32
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Fire In The Disco posted:My bouquet was cream callas and large, dark red Asiatic lilies. If you like other types of lilies, maybe Costco carried Asiatics? I think I'm pretty set on staying away from white/cream, but that is a really beautiful bouquet. I hadn't thought about Asiatic lilies, but they really go well with the cream callas. That's good to know about the wilting, though, and it makes me feel even more like the florists are ripping me off.
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Aug 9, 2009 18:41
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The florist I worked with warned me about it, but she and I both felt that the impact of larger callas was better for my bouquet, so I just had my maid of honor (my sister) get it into the water right after the ceremony and pictures were taken. It still lasted a few days, the callas were just not as...perky. If you're going to get your own flowers, definitely consider going with mini callas if you don't want a huge bouquet like mine. Oh, and, Tiger Lilies are related to the Asiatics I had in my bouquet, and they'd be awesome in a red/orange/yellow bouquet!!
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Aug 9, 2009 19:33
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Kiri koli posted:We seem to have a lot of good ring people here. What kind of wedding bands do people have when they have tall engagement rings? You could have a goldsmith cut a custom band to snuggle against the wedding band and match the profile. Any jeweler should be able to measure your existing ring and fabricate a matching band. I wouldn't expect it to cost too much.
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Aug 9, 2009 20:00
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