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Too Fresh posted:Latest update is fantastic, http://www.somethingawful.com/d/dungeons-and-dragons/wtf-wondrous-items.php I had this book. I remember there being a few cool things in it - mostly clockwork-esque monsters of some sort - and the rest of it was totally retarded, unusable crap that I'm glad is now being lampooned. What's funny though is that looking back on it now, The Book of Wondrous Inventions set the tone for the much more enjoyable Spelljammer setting. Meanwhile, FATAL is so notorious that I think it would be great to give it the WTF treatment. Also, Talislanta.
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Jul 30, 2009 20:22
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The Book of Wondrous Inventions really was the best update in a while. Though I'm surprised you didn't mention that Black Puddings dissolve metal with their acid, thereby rendering the dishwasher incapable of washing silverware. I know that 1st edition was pretty bad, but are you guys ever going to make fun of 3.5 of 4e? There's still plenty of hilarious monsters, like said black pudding, which leaves you naked after a successful slam attack.
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Jul 30, 2009 20:47
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VikingofRock posted:
Wait, seriously? The closest I ever got to playing D&D are Black Isle games - but aren't people, y'know, usually clad in priceless magic whoosits painstakingly liberated from the bowels of various dungeons? All I can say is, there must be a huge, huge difference between the paper & pen RPG people, and the on-line RPG people, because I've seen how crazy the On-line RPG people get about their gear. Someone'd probably get stabbed over that in person. Possibly with a "Dragon Fire" limited-edition fantasy knife. Edit: I mean, I get that D&D has plenty of risks of permanent death - but I've actually heard of Black Puddings, so they're probably not even that uncommon. Blurry Gray Thing fucked around with this message at 23:59 on Jul 30, 2009 |
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Jul 30, 2009 23:54
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From the d20srdBlack Puddings posted:Acid (Ex) The Babau, a type of demon, has something even worse. You can avoid getting your poo poo wrecked by a black pudding by not getting hit or keeping your distance (they are pretty slow). The babau destroys your stuff when YOU hit IT. Babau posted:Protective Slime (Su) Piell fucked around with this message at 00:12 on Jul 31, 2009 |
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Jul 31, 2009 00:09
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Dark Sun owned, so do did this article. Noice jorb.
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Jul 31, 2009 02:18
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I just realized something about early D&D. It's totally loving ridiculous. If someone today come up with a goddamn magic dishwasher that A) looks exactly like a real dishwasher and B) operates via -albeit magical- manual labor, they'd probably have to publish their own game. But in early D&D, they'll take any flavor text they can get. The long and short of it is, I suppose, that had a particular zeitgeist come into being a fair bit sooner, those crazy-rear end anime maid games would be part of TSR canon. But if there're three skeletons, why do they need four buckets?
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Jul 31, 2009 05:45
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One for colors, one for whites, one for delicate fabrics, and one to rinse!
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Jul 31, 2009 05:47
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Never played D&D outside of Bioware games, but this is easily my favorite front page article. Best of all, there seems to be an endless supply of these wonderful supplemental books.
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Jul 31, 2009 14:19
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These articles get better every time. I hope you never run out of material. 
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Jul 31, 2009 15:04
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Futuristic Farts posted:These articles get better every time. I hope you never run out of material. Considering how many source books have been made, they won't any time soon. Also yeah, this and Fashion Swat are my favorite articles. The two-man team format works really well.
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Jul 31, 2009 19:40
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I need this book.
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Aug 1, 2009 20:38
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Hey Zack & Co., looks like there's a typo in the title of the latest installment. http://www.somethingawful.com/d/dungeons-and-dragons/rifts-japan.php "Rifts Wold Book"? Missing an r there? Just thought I should point that out. Hilarious as always!
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Aug 6, 2009 18:58
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Haha, thanks, blame me for that one.
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Aug 6, 2009 19:29
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Is this where the contest is going to be posted? I am determined to win a free book.
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Aug 6, 2009 19:38
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Discospawn posted:Is this where the contest is going to be posted? I am determined to win a free book. It will be posted in GBS.
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Aug 6, 2009 19:47
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Great article again, guys!
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Aug 6, 2009 21:46
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http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3182883
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Aug 6, 2009 22:04
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I was really hoping to see the beartillary robot in this article. I think it was supposed to be a bear. I haven't seen it in years, and it's all I remember of the book. There's enough crap in Rifts that you could split off and have a WTF Rifts and WTF D&D if you wanted. I don't know if you're masochistic enough to do it, but it's an option. Just sayin'.
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Aug 7, 2009 05:36
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Having recently been laid off from work, etc. I moved back into my mother's house and found the old box of my Rifts books. I've been reading through them, and they just piss me off more and more. That remark about "in Rifts, there is no limit to mediocrity" was right on the nose. Every goddamn page has a total groaner on it. Whether you like lovely magic, poorly designed robots, spelling and grammar errors in mass volume, huge loaves of stuff reprinted from earlier books, hamhanded instructions about how people should play, awful drawings, or incoherent combat systems, Rifts has it for you. On top of this, I've come to the inescapable conclusion that Kevin Siembieda is a massive rear end in a top hat. Granted, I might just be bitter because he's rich and I'm a total waste of oxygen. Anyway, I love the Rifts stuff, and it's not like you'll run out of subject matter. Feel free to take a more critical tone.
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Aug 7, 2009 20:24
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My favorite was that dragon. What the hell kind of enemey is a literal walking arsenal with everything from a triple particle cannon to emergency smokebombs that attacks by punching? Hell, it's claws are probably vibroblades, if it didn't open it's hand it could probably kill you that much more effectively.
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Aug 8, 2009 05:08
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http://www.somethingawful.com/d/dungeons-and-dragons/wtf-warhammer-40k.php I never did get into 40K. I did invest in another money sink: Magic. I expect a future installment based on that. I don't play anymore but I did read a little about the latest core set. "Exile" and "the battlefield?" Lame. Oh, and I enjoyed the article, of course. First one I read in this series and I'll be ready for future updates.
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Aug 20, 2009 18:49
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Y-Hat posted:http://www.somethingawful.com/d/dungeons-and-dragons/wtf-warhammer-40k.php I don't think a WTF Magic would work too well Anyways, awesome job on 40k, I luckily have only spent 35 dollars on it just buying very basic Eldar pieces.
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Aug 20, 2009 20:06
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This exchange in particular made me lose it completelyquote:Zack: "Ha ha, this game is so much fun, I th- hey, your guys aren't in unit coherence."
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Aug 20, 2009 20:17
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those toys could not possibly cost 5 million dollars, right?
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Aug 20, 2009 20:57
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I think the first two pages might've been my favorite.quote:Zack: Steve, are you being a dick to me?
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Aug 20, 2009 21:03
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The whole article was great, but this one line is the capstone:quote:Steve: That sure sounds like a real fun game, Milton Bradley.
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Aug 21, 2009 00:21
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quote:Steve: Waking up and your skin is clear and you can see all of your organs and stuff and then you look closer at your stomach and there is a little baby man inside it and he's smiling back at you. I really loved this exchange. Steve's unbridled enthusiasm is infectious.
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Aug 21, 2009 00:44
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maxnmona posted:those toys could not possibly cost 5 million dollars, right? nah he's off by a factor of 10 or so
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Aug 21, 2009 02:24
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Please, please do a review of the sourcebook for a game called Wraeththu. See it's an RPG system based in a world where the next step in human evolution is a boy george-esque androgyne with an acid-shooting sea anenome penis and they capture people and convert them by draining their blood or something in a warehouse and uh uh and then there's a really funny section where the author of the book provides strategies for goading your players into having phone sex with each other. It might be one of those things that is so out there and bizarre that it's impossible to make fun of, but it's definitely worth looking into.
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Aug 21, 2009 04:30
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My favorite was this little bitquote:Zack: "Honey, how many points did you spend on business related wargear?"
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Aug 21, 2009 06:54
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Anonymous Robot posted:goading your players into having phone sex with each other. C'mon Fred, don't be a little bitch, tell Phil how you feel. Or rather, how you want him to feel... 
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Aug 21, 2009 13:15
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maxnmona posted:those toys could not possibly cost 5 million dollars, right? DoctorTristan posted:One time it took us six loving hours just to play out a single turn. In figurative money, I'd say absolutely yes.
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Aug 21, 2009 18:29
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Anonymous Robot posted:Please, please do a review of the sourcebook for a game called Wraeththu. Zack is really good at being mean, so this would be a walk in the park. It would be a great test of Steve's enthusiasm, though. Also I'm reminded of a game I've heard about where you have to roleplay teenagers having sex in order to power up super robots and fight alien invaders. Was that a thing?
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Aug 21, 2009 20:10
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its based on my life
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Aug 21, 2009 22:05
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davidspackage posted:In figurative money, I'd say absolutely yes. If, for instance, you could attach a monetary value to dignity.
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Aug 22, 2009 03:44
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HitTheTargets posted:Also I'm reminded of a game I've heard about where you have to roleplay teenagers having sex in order to power up super robots and fight alien invaders. Was that a thing? That's called Bliss Stage. And if your lover doesn't put out, you might die! I think most of the power is just based on generally falling in love with someone so the aliens can't drive you insane. It's geared towards creating horrible dysfunctional relationships, which then get RPed out, and then the fate of the world hangs in the balance. I file it under "kind of cool, but, um, I could never play this, ever."
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Aug 22, 2009 17:03
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Yeah, that sounds familiar. I'm glad there wasn't more than one game that fit my description.
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Aug 25, 2009 18:10
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Just wanted to say that this column is the best. That part about unit coherence was hilarious and sums up the wargame experience nicely. Amethyst fucked around with this message at 01:07 on Aug 26, 2009 |
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Aug 26, 2009 01:04
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Yeah. I realized that Warhammer was doing something horrible to me, when I found myself unreasonably irked that my friend's orks weren't in coherence. I decided to stop playing at that point, before I started acting like an aspergy moron. The unit coherence bit cracked me up more than anything, as a result. Great job!
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Aug 26, 2009 16:01
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As a nerd I can understand the appeal of Warhammer, but whenever I read about the various races I can't help but think, "God drat this is the most generic poo poo ever." I was really pleased to see it torn apart.
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Aug 26, 2009 22:32
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